Alcohol FE poll. Adult FE age limit poll

[Snowwhyt]

When was the last time you gave or received alcohol in an FE?

Someone is trying to convince me it’s very common and that an adult FE should be 21 and older. My thought is alcohol gifts are not common IF even given at all anymore (DCL rules). That an adult FE group with 16 and older is fine because anyone that can drive a car, do pre-calculus, algebra, geometry, dissect a frog, explain the branches of our government and go through mandatory sexual education should be considered an adult. Many kids graduate from high school at 17.
I am interested in the answers even if you no longer participate in FE’s but did decades ago.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

When was the last time you gave or received alcohol in an FE?

Someone is trying to convince me it’s very common and that an adult FE should be 21 and older. My thought is alcohol gifts are not common IF even given at all anymore (DCL rules). That an adult FE group with 16 and older is fine because anyone that can drive a car, do pre-calculus, algebra, geometry, dissect a frog, explain the branches of our government and go through mandatory sexual education should be considered an adult. Many kids graduate from high school at 17.
I am interested in the answers even if you no longer participate in FE’s but did decades ago.

Never received alcohol in FE. Never would give alcohol in FE. Putting such things in a FE is just inviting minors to raid random FEs and cause a lot of problems.

Personally I'm in favor of anything labeled "Adult" only involving 21+ ages.

Yes, "kids" can graduate high school at 17, or even younger, but that doesn't make them an adult. Knowing about how government works, or taking sexual education classes doesn't mean they are mature enough to made valid decisions about life at that young an age.

The frontal lobe is not fully developed until about twenty-five years of age, so adolescents and young adults are more likely to take risks that seem crazy to adults. This tendency to take risks can also be combined with the vulnerability to peer pressure that teens experience. Unfortunately, this can lead to trouble.
https://teenlifeline.org/judgment-call-maturity-emotions-and-the-teenage-brain/

 

[Cheburashka]

I would stick to DCL's (and the USA's) definition of "adult", which is 18+. Maturity is a different issue. I know immature people in their 50's, so... I'm just going to stick to the fact that Americans legally become adults at 18, and that DCL gives people adult area privileges at 18.

Most people don't give alcohol because it's expensive, it's heavy, it's hard to transport via flights, and DCL limits what you can carry onboard. Adult FE's aren't going to become alcohol exchanges, just due to those reasons.

We always participate in adult-only FE's now. I've yet to receive any alcohol, and sometimes still get childish items (stickers, ring pops, etc.), even when there are no children at all in our FE group.

FE's typically have a place to list dietary restrictions. Those who specifically don't want alcohol can mention it there. Most people aren't going to be giving alcohol regardless, for the reasons already mentioned.

 

[DCLMP]

You are very limited in the amount of alcohol you can bring onboard so how would that even be possible? You give a can of beer to six different people? It makes no sense.

 

[auntlynne]

FE exchanges are not an officially sanctioned DCL activity.

They don’t even seem to occur under DisBoard groups anymore. I imagine FB has figured some way to make themselves legally not responsible for the actions of users in a group.

I selected 18+ as age for adult participants, as they have aged out of kid activities on the ship. They could book a cabin. Perhaps they would like to now participate in something they enjoyed as a family member.

I’m not sure the intent / goal here.

The legal drinking age in the US is 21. I believe Europe has a lower age? Or at least culture that allows consumption.

Randomly giving alcohol to (essentially) strangers seems like a setup for a situation with legal ramifications.

Nothing I received in past exchanges would be considered for “adults” only. No alcohol, nothing sexual. The items are just less suited for kids’ interest. Or maybe kids would like items representing hometowns of other cruisers.

Every group can create groups with rules, as they see fit. And guests can opt in as they wish.

 

[Snowwhyt]

Never received alcohol in FE. Never would give alcohol in FE. Putting such things in a FE is just inviting minors to raid random FEs and cause a lot of problems.

Personally I'm in favor of anything labeled "Adult" only involving 21+ ages.

Yes, "kids" can graduate high school at 17, or even younger, but that doesn't make them an adult. Knowing about how government works, or taking sexual education classes doesn't mean they are mature enough to made valid decisions about life at that young an age.

The frontal lobe is not fully developed until about twenty-five years of age, so adolescents and young adults are more likely to take risks that seem crazy to adults. This tendency to take risks can also be combined with the vulnerability to peer pressure that teens experience. Unfortunately, this can lead to trouble.
https://teenlifeline.org/judgment-call-maturity-emotions-and-the-teenage-brain/

I agree about some teens. But my 13 year old got pirate coins and a plastic pirate cup from the Disney children’s cartoon, coloring book with markers, A tick-tac-toe game, stickers, glow sticks, candy, and a pair of sunglasses.

But it can be hard to know what to buy for a teen for many. She didn’t like getting FE’s for 3 cruises til she got adult things and not grade school items. She participated still because she liked to make and especially the delivery.

But I can’t put adult any higher than 18 when they can be responsible for using a gun to service the country. That’s a responsibility that should equal all adult responsibilities. It would be nice to see an age to reflect all adult responsibilities.

 

[Cheburashka]

I can’t put adult any higher than 18 when they can be responsible for using a gun to service the country...

Not to mention, taking a bullet to defend our country. Very good point.

 

[auntlynne]

We’re talking about exchanging small gifts, trinkets.

What kinds of gifts are you giving and receiving? Or want to?

Even our own family Christmas gifts don’t convey the level of adult responsibility that seems to be in question with this conversation.

Just because we send 18 yo to war doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Or even to be responsible with a car at 16.

Again, what’s the real question or issue?

If it’s alcohol in gifts, probably not a good idea among strangers.

If you make friends with your fellow cruisers and feel you know them well enough, a private exchange might be an option. Especially if your home region has a specialty.

 

[Snowwhyt]

I would stick to DCL's (and the USA's) definition of "adult", which is 18+. Maturity is a different issue. I know immature people in their 50's, so... I'm just going to stick to the fact that Americans legally become adults at 18, and that DCL gives people adult area privileges at 18.

Most people don't give alcohol because it's expensive, it's heavy, it's hard to transport via flights, and DCL limits what you can carry onboard. Adult FE's aren't going to become alcohol exchanges, just due to those reasons.

We always participate in adult-only FE's now. I've yet to receive any alcohol, and sometimes still get childish items (stickers, ring pops, etc.), even when there are no children at all in our FE group.

FE's typically have a place to list dietary restrictions. Those who specifically don't want alcohol can mention it there. Most people aren't going to be giving alcohol regardless, for the reasons already mentioned.

Now I don’t want to speculate how they bring it onto the ship. But I was a poor girl in my 20’s and couldn’t afford to pay drink prices so I have a few ideas.
Although with security nowadays, especially after they tightened the belt on alcohol. I don’t think people do it anymore.

I suspected that the alcohol was much less available than some people think in FE’s. But those tiny plastic airline bottles can be only $1 each. It’s nasty weird flavors at the grocery stores and been popular as decorative items on 21st birthday cakes. My daughter is 24 so she’s seen a few now.

PS. If you ever get a cherry or watermelon jolly rancher ring pop and we are on the same ship if you could just slip that in my FE. It’s a guilty pleasure still at age 60!

 

[Snowwhyt]

I’m not sure the intent / goal here.

The legal drinking age in the US is 21. I believe Europe has a lower age? Or at least culture that allows consumption.

Nothing I received in past exchanges would be considered for “adults” only. No alcohol, nothing sexual. The items are just less suited for kids’ interest. Or maybe kids would like items representing hometowns of other cruisers.

I was having a conversation(by text) about having mature teens in adult FE’s. She felt strongly against it because it would promote drinking in those under 21 and I felt alcohol gifts were a thing of the past. Anyway that’s how this started for me to wonder. And what if I was wrong and maybe lots of alcohol was being passed around and I just was in a different group than most people.

All my grandparents were born in Europe. One set left because my great uncle was going to be pulled into Hitler’s youth army. Every holiday we had a very small glass of wine that was probably the size of a shot glass, but had a small stem on it. it was bubbly. It was white. It was terrible tasting. It was considered our special holiday treat. Yuck. I remember that nasty stuff every holiday since I was five could’ve even been before.

My first and second FE experience was here. Then it moved. But I don’t think it will last much longer there either. The group’s are getting weird and so little chat goes on like it had before. It will just be exchanges, hotel recommendations, just need to know basic details.

My daughter was an only child that grew up too fast because of it and straight a student. Would not go to the clubs for more than an hour each trip until 1820 society. Thursday she gets her Masters degree from medical school at 24.

 

[auntlynne]

Thanks for that answer. I quit participating in FEs, as I didn’t really want “stuff” to tote home. It’s been years.

I would be fascinated to know if and how alcohol is an aspect of current exchanges.

It was never even mentioned as a possibility in my previous groups. I don’t think we even had age groups. It was sign up the family/cabin and list ages (and possibly names). If they were all adults, they might get glow sticks. Well, those work for many ages.

I love having something hanging from my fish and now use it as a creative show place.

 

[Snowwhyt]

We’re talking about exchanging small gifts, trinkets.

What kinds of gifts are you giving and receiving? Or want to?

Even our own family Christmas gifts don’t convey the level of adult responsibility that seems to be in question with this conversation.

Just because we send 18 yo to war doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Or even to be responsible with a car at 16.

Again, what’s the real question or issue?

If it’s alcohol in gifts, probably not a good idea among strangers.

If you make friends with your fellow cruisers and feel you know them well enough, a private exchange might be an option. Especially if your home region has a specialty.

I was trying to say my daughter would have loved a dish towel with Mickey or Minnie over a pirate cartoon cup or pirate coins. She made wine charms, laundry hampers with DCL logo and hand painted glass ornaments.

What was the question?
Were people really giving alcohol as a FE gift? The lady said it would be promoting drinking for those under 21 if anyone let those under 21 in a group. I didn’t think people even gave alcohol now for several reasons listed above.

 

[auntlynne]

I was trying to say my daughter would have loved a dish towel with Mickey or Minnie over a pirate cartoon cup or pirate coins. She made wine charms, laundry hampers with DCL logo and hand painted glass ornaments.

What was the question?
Were people really giving alcohol as a FE gift? The lady said it would be promoting drinking for those under 21 if anyone let those under 21 in a group. I didn’t think people even gave alcohol now for several reasons listed above.

A dish towel would beat alcohol any day!

Sounds like your sailing might have alcohol gifts. Now I see why they wanted a minimum age.

And it all sounds like too much drama and effort for people you probably won’t see again. But that’s my opinion. And I have cruised, on purpose, with mates I met, first here in Cruise Meets and followed by the actual cruise.

I hope it all works out for you - and your future doctor! In the US, Medical Schools grant Doctor of Medicine degrees. Yours call them Master’s degrees? I do see some countries use Doctorate for the next level - research, etc., in Medicine.

Are you from Scotland? (the use if Master’s for MD qualification). Always read your posts with a German accent. That’s not meant to be derogatory- whichever country.

 

[Snowwhyt]

Thanks for that answer. I quit participating in FEs, as I didn’t really want “stuff” to tote home. It’s been years.

I would be fascinated to know if and how alcohol is an aspect of current exchanges.

It was never even mentioned as a possibility in my previous groups. I don’t think we even had age groups. It was sign up the family/cabin and list ages (and possibly names). If they were all adults, they might get glow sticks. Well, those work for many ages.

I love having something hanging from my fish and now use it as a creative show place.View attachment 889782

She made it sound very common to get alcohol. But if you look at the poll, so far nobody has given or received alcohol.
I have used many of my FE gifts. Chip clip, magnet, towel, journal,..
I’ve heard people leave stuff on the ship. That breaks my heart. This year I’m making Next Cruise countdown boards with a dry erase section and a nautical theme with an attached Dry marker. Also a wooden arrow with their distance from their home city and a Mickey glove that points towards Castaway Cay. And I still want to embroider the ship and year on a dish towel too.
See as a teen my daughter got “stuff” I got real things. I did pixie dust her FE a few years and that helped.
Do I have a box of stuff? Yeah, but I smile when I look at what’s inside and once in a while I feel like I’m the claw machine at Planet Pizza and find an item I want to use.

 

[Kwami]

I don't participate in FE groups.

But, I would be pretty upset if someone gave me alcohol without asking first. There are a lot of reasons that someone might not want alcohol in their fish hanger.

 

[Snowwhyt]

A dish towel would beat alcohol any day!

Sounds like your sailing might have alcohol gifts. Now I see why they wanted a minimum age.

And it all sounds like too much drama and effort for people you probably won’t see again. But that’s my opinion. And I have cruised, on purpose, with mates I met, first here in Cruise Meets and followed by the actual cruise.

I hope it all works out for you - and your future doctor! In the US, Medical Schools grant Doctor of Medicine degrees. Yours call them Master’s degrees? I do see some countries use Doctorate for the next level - research, etc., in Medicine.

Are you from Scotland? (the use if Master’s for MD qualification). Always read your posts with a German accent. That’s not meant to be derogatory- whichever country.

Thankfully this lady is in a planning group that I’m not in and looks to help making a great cruise group for a different sailing than I’m on.. So I won’t see her on my trip next month.

My daughter will not become an MD she’ll be a Physician Assistant (or associate as the title has just been changed last year) she’ll have her masters degree but not her doctorate.

I think it’s sweet that you read my post with the German accent. I miss that side of the family and mom doesn’t have a German accent.
I always love you. Thank you for your kind words.

 

[auntlynne]

Thankfully this lady is in a planning group that I’m not in and looks to help making a great cruise group for a different sailing than I’m on.. So I won’t see her on my trip next month.

My daughter will not become an MD she’ll be a Physician Assistant (or associate as the title has just been changed last year) she’ll have her masters degree but not her doctorate.

I think it’s sweet that you read my post with the German accent. I miss that side of the family and mom doesn’t have a German accent.
I always love you. Thank you for your kind words.

Here’s a hug from across the ocean.

My great grandmother’s family had a German heritage. But all my European connections are so very long ago. As in 1600s. Dutch, Scottish, English - everyone eventually married English Americans. We couldn’t get to the New World fast enough. How poor were we? And even our Dutch name was an American creation! I told my a Dutch neighbor the original name - and she knew exactly where they came from. Amazing.

All this thinking of Germany makes me hungry for bratwurst and sauerkraut.

I like the image of the Pizza Planet Claw Machine. Very funny.

Hope you get your FE group situation settled. And that the participants appreciate your effort to make something meaningful. The arrow with hometown distance to Castaway Cay sounds fun.

 

[sponica]

I haven't done an FE. But since you can't bring nips on board, I would think that alcohol would be a no-go or at the very least highly impractical. A beer bottle in a FE seems like a terrible idea?

Looking at the FE spreadsheet for my cruise, looks like adult has been defined as 18+.

 

[lanejudy]

Each FE group can set their own "rules" for the gift-giving and participants, but I would expect "adult" to be 18+ and align with DCL's definition of adult.

I understand the OPs desire to include a "mature" teen, but this is so subjective. It reminds me of the question about allowing a "mature" teen access to "adult only" activities on the ship. Teens are a very difficult age to buy gifts for in general, even within my extended family, and for someone you don't know it's hard. I think it's up to parents to set expectations with their teens that the FE gifts are all for fun of giving and surprises and not necessarily something that's a personal gift. It may be something the teen considers as childish (crayons, stickers, etc.), it may not be of their interest (nail polish or hair accessories for a girl who isn't into girly stuff), or boring adult-ish (I would never think to give a dishtowel to a teen).

There have been a few threads in recent months that all seem to hit on the same subject. The expectations of some guests about Fish Exchanges and the "value" of the gifts they receive, or how personal it should be. While recognizing some individuals really enjoy taking time to personalize the FE gifts, I thin most participants just want something "fun" to do.

 

[PAGA2003]

We did receive a mini bottle of Captain Morgan in an FE on one cruise but that was ages ago before the current alcohol restrictions were implemented. I would think this is a mute point because there is no way for this to be done with the current restrictions unless they are planning to distribute their 2 bottles of wine/6 beers they are allowed. Otherwise they are going to spend their time/money and find it confiscated.