AL QAEDA CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY FOR JIMMY KIMMEL SHOW
Bin Laden's Voice Heard in Control Room of ABC Gabfest
The international terror group al Qaeda today claimed responsibility for ABC's late night talk show "Jimmy Kimmel Live," confirming the suspicions of many viewers who had seen the first week of the program's episodes.
"We had been overhearing chatter in recent weeks that al Qaeda was planning some sort of a train wreck," one CIA source revealed today. "We had no idea that this was what they were talking about."
The news of the al Qaeda-Kimmel link was first announced today by the al Jazeera television network, which broadcast a chilling audio tape recorded in the control room of the Hollywood theater where "Jimmy Kimmel Live" is produced.
"Just thirty seconds until we're back, Jimmy," a voice identified as Osama bin Laden can clearly be heard saying on the tape.
While no members of the Kimmel production staff said that they could recall seeing Mr. bin Laden in the control room, CIA voice experts said that the voice was a "perfect match" of a similar recording taped in the control room of "The Chevy Chase Show," a legendary flop of the early nineties.
"Just thirty seconds until we're back, Chevy," bin Laden's voice can be heard saying in the earlier tape.
CIA Director George Tenet today said that the latest bin Laden revelations had "confirmed our darkest fears."
"When I first saw the Jimmy Kimmel show after the Superbowl, I turned to my wife and said, 'bin Laden!'" Tenet said.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
Bin Laden's Voice Heard in Control Room of ABC Gabfest
The international terror group al Qaeda today claimed responsibility for ABC's late night talk show "Jimmy Kimmel Live," confirming the suspicions of many viewers who had seen the first week of the program's episodes.
"We had been overhearing chatter in recent weeks that al Qaeda was planning some sort of a train wreck," one CIA source revealed today. "We had no idea that this was what they were talking about."
The news of the al Qaeda-Kimmel link was first announced today by the al Jazeera television network, which broadcast a chilling audio tape recorded in the control room of the Hollywood theater where "Jimmy Kimmel Live" is produced.
"Just thirty seconds until we're back, Jimmy," a voice identified as Osama bin Laden can clearly be heard saying on the tape.
While no members of the Kimmel production staff said that they could recall seeing Mr. bin Laden in the control room, CIA voice experts said that the voice was a "perfect match" of a similar recording taped in the control room of "The Chevy Chase Show," a legendary flop of the early nineties.
"Just thirty seconds until we're back, Chevy," bin Laden's voice can be heard saying in the earlier tape.
CIA Director George Tenet today said that the latest bin Laden revelations had "confirmed our darkest fears."
"When I first saw the Jimmy Kimmel show after the Superbowl, I turned to my wife and said, 'bin Laden!'" Tenet said.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
