Airport Etiquette

[va32h]

Here is the situation:

My MIL comes to visit us at least 3 times a year, usually more.

For as long as these visits have occurred (ten years) she has always expected us to bring the kids when we pick her up at the airport and drop her off when she leaves. Regardless of the time her plane lands, distance of the airport, etc.

Several years ago we got into quite an argument when dh was out of town, her plane landed at 11pm, and I asked her to take a taxi, rather than wake up my ten month old baby son to go pick her up. She said she'd stay at the hotel across the street from the airport that night, and I could pick her up in the morning! (I said, come in a taxi or not at all, that's ridiculous).

Anyway, now that the kids are older (2 of them in school) and with all the security after 9/11, it seems really ridiculous to me to expect an entire family to rearrange its schedule so we can all be there to essentially drop her off at the curb.

She has a visit coming up, and her departure time conflicts with my oldest dd's Girl Scout meeting. MIL is "upset" that I said my husband (her son) could take MIL to the airport, and dd would be going to Scouts.

Now given that I am more than a little biased (as MIL and I have never gotten along) please give me your unbiased take on this.

Is it really a big deal to not take someone to the airport after a visit? Especially when they visit you all the time?

 

[RumpleMom]

I believe the kids' activities, comfort come first. Their schedules will only become more complicated as they get older. It would be nice for Mom and son to have a little time together on the way to the airport.

 

[jenwolgey]

I think MIL is being very unreasonable.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think she is way out of line. We've never all gone together to bring grandparents home after a trip. Sometimes we've all gone to pick them up, but that's only if it's worked out without any conflicts with the kid's activities, etc. She's expecting way too much.

Why would she have been willing to stay in a hotel for the night instead of taking a cab? That doesn't make any sense.

 

[ely3857]

She is been VERY unreasonable & I would not put up with this at all.

I tend to get along ok with my future mil, I stand firm with any decision my df & I make and she can have as much input as she likes but she is already well aware this will not effect the outcome.



Jodie

 

[ndelaware]

Everything I wanted to type here sounded pretty harsh to be coming from a stranger. So I will just say I think you are right. LOL

 

[va32h]

Why would she have been willing to stay in a hotel for the night instead of taking a cab? That doesn't make any sense.

It does if you are a control freak! Yes, she would have been willing to pay twice as much for a hotel room, because it would have required me to come to her - rather than take a taxi, and come to me.

The other thing I didn't mention in my OP, was that sometimes the kids just don't want to go. A trip to the airport is a long, boring car ride. And with airport security what it is today, you don't go to the gate, you stand in front of a luggage carousel, or more likely, wait in the parking lot to drive by and pick them up from the curb.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Sounds like you hit the nail on the head and she is a control freak. If she wanted you to come pick her up when you had a baby she should have scheduled her arrival for a time that you ok'ed in advance. Even then she shouldn't expect you to pick her up, but should be pleased when you choose to. How is she when she is at your home?

 

[MAKmom]

She's a crazy person. I can't believe you did this for 10 years.

 

[Straitlover]

Personally, I think if it was a special kind of trip, say visitors coming from overseas (maybe the only time they will visit you, not someone who comes regularly), someone visiting you for the first time, grandparents seeing a grandkid for the first time, someone leaving for an extended period of time or returning from an extended trip, etc, then I say yeah, it would be nice to see the whole family there making a fuss over the visitor(s). Otherwise, I don't think it's necessary, especially since you can't go to the gates anymore. So, yes, I think she's being a little unreasonable. I say since it's your MIL, I would let your husband handle it IMO.

Although, I will say it's nice when 2 people come. One can meet the vistor(s) at the baggage claim and the other can circle and pick up at the curbside, avoiding the dreaded finding and paying for a parking space and getting out quicker.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

She's a crazy person. I can't believe you did this for 10 years.

Seriously? Tell her to get a grip or don't come.

 

[golfgal]

Bring all the kids but pay them each $5 if they yell and fight the whole time Grandma is in the car .

 

[lulugirl]

I agree w/ everyone else. I think she's unreasonable and her expectations are absurd.
Sure sounds like there are control issues.....

 

[SC Minnie]

She is being unreasonable. Her son needs to set her straight.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

sound slike she is a pain, but if you have put with it for all these she probably ALWAYS expects to get her way. Your DH should speak with her.

 

[binny]

She is being unreasonable. Her son needs to set her straight.

ding ding ding we have a winner! Have your hubby talk to her!


We all try to go get my mom when she comes but it isnt always possible, but the difference is my kids love to go. She is fine with however it works out

 

[arminnie]

Just tell her to take Super Shuttle or to rent a car. DFW airport is a mess.

I have traveled a lot. I would NEVER expect anyone with children - much less an infant to pick me up at 11 pm.

Why is she scheduling flights to arrive at that hour anyway?

Your children don't need to be drug out of bed at that hour. If your husband wants to pick her up (alone) well that's his decision. Some nice alone time for them.

 

[minniecarousel]

In this post-9/11 world - no airport parties - sorry, she needs to be merely dropped off/picked up.

 

[ElizaB39]

This is on your DH.

Hey I make my folks take a shuttle to a closer hotel then I go THERE to pick them up. LOL

My FIL and DH went to a convention one year and left on Sat morn. Their plane was cancelled and DH called and said please come and pick us up and then bring us back to the airport later today. That is 3 hours in the car, in total. I told him to forget it, call the valet carpark service, get your car and drive home if you want but I am not putting my 6 month PG butt in the car for 3 hours just because you are too lazy to make the call (to airport valet carpark). He said he didn't want to pay the extra cost to get the car out (it cost them $6 to get the car out for the day). I told him my time was worth $30/hour and if he wanted to pay $90... well then...

They still talk about that to this day and it was 9 years ago.

Needless to say, nobody ever expects me to drive and pick them up but we often do!

 

[Laura]

When I went to London for a semester in college, I had a big group of my family and friends drop me off at the gate and meet me when I came home. That's the only time I've had a big sendoff/welcome like it.

MIL needs to have a talking-to by her son.