You have to love how they pick people to pick on. When DH & I were returning from our honeymoon in Grand Cayman, the customs agent stopped us and told DH to take off his watch. He started inspecting it and telling us that he just bought it on the island and asking why we didn't declare it.

We explained over and over that he bought it a couple of years before in St. Croix and he paid whatever the duty was to get it back into the continental US. He told us that wasn't true because there weren't any scratches on it.
My DH told him that if he owned an expensive watch, he'd take care of it, too.
He finally let us go through without further ado, after he searched our bags and found plenty of credit card receipts from the dinners that we ate.
The next guy is stopped and is asked to remove his solid gold Rolex that he just paid $20,000 for, on the island... in cash.
We're like, "buddy, don't be picking on us poor newlyweds, pick on the filthy rich like that guy." Well, we actually didn't say it out loud, but that's what we were thinking.
I can't wait to read the rest of your installments.