Ah, young love...

[gregokdisney]

I have never understood why it is racist when describing someone to use their race. I mean, it is a distinguishing characteristic! Can someone explain this to me? She was describing how cute they all were, and a description includes race/ethnicity.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I think the OP considers exotic a good thing, so is that now wrong?

Why on earth is ethnicity such a bad thing? It's like we spend 50% of our time in this country saying "EMBRACE DIVERSITY" with Hallmarks for every culture imaginable, proper names in my kids school books that are mostly un-pronounceable and multiple language selections on every automated service under the sun. Then we spend the other 50% of our time trying to pretend we're all exactly the same and yelling at everyone who notices we're not all identical.

Would someone please tell me which way were supposed to go? The situation is absurd.

BTW, NYC is very diverse and there we all were very comfortable identifying ourselves with our ethnicity. It allowed for cultural respect. Such as if I knew a friend was Jewish an office party wouldn't be after sundown. If an office friend was Muslim no-one would make meatballs with pork for a office party without a note. If it's Lent a lunch restaurant choice would include a substantial fish selection. See how that works.

How on earth can we be sensitive to differences if we pretend there aren't any? It's only bad if a person takes that info and assumes a person is deficient or less somehow for it but if that's not happening I just don't get it

 

[Cinderella94]

LOL you haven't even seen him?

...the OP used the word "little." So we don't need to have seen him .

I don't see a problem with the OPs description either. Some people will find anything to complain about.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Why in the hell do you need to tell us their ethnicities?

Who cares?

My husband cared; he's half Korean and didn't want to date in his own culture, and dated mostly women very opposite of his mom.

That is so sad. Most people I know like this, have some serious self hate issues.

I have never understood why it is racist when describing someone to use their race. I mean, it is a distinguishing characteristic! Can someone explain this to me? She was describing how cute they all were, and a description includes race/ethnicity.

So why didn't she describe her children in the FIRST post?

 

[PlainJane]

So why didn't she describe her children in the FIRST post?

She's a regular poster. She might have assumed we already had an idea of what they looked like.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I think the OP considers exotic a good thing, so is that now wrong?

Why on earth is ethnicity such a bad thing? It's like we spend 50% of our time in this country saying "EMBRACE DIVERSITY" with Hallmarks for every culture imaginable, proper names in my kids school books that are mostly un-pronounceable and multiple language selections on every automated service under the sun. Then we spend the other 50% of our time trying to pretend we're all exactly the same and yelling at everyone who notices we're not all identical.

Would someone please tell me which way were supposed to go? The situation is absurd.

BTW, NYC is very diverse and there we all were very comfortable identifying ourselves with our ethnicity. It allowed for cultural respect. Such as if I knew a friend was Jewish an office party wouldn't be after sundown. If an office friend was Muslim no-one would make meatballs with pork for a office party without a note. If it's Lent a lunch restaurant choice would include a substantial fish selection. See how that works.

How on earth can we be sensitive to differences if we pretend there aren't any? It's only bad if a person takes that info and assumes a person is deficient or less somehow for it but if that's not happening I just don't get it

There's a difference between being respectful of our differences (not serving a Muslim pork, not planning an event during Sabbath...)and just tossing race/ethnicity into a conversation when it isn't needed.

If you're talking about a group of friends out shopping, you do not need to know the racial/ethnic make up of the group. If you're planning a party for the same group, then yeah, that information will come in handy.

I get that the OP and her kids were excited about the dates. I just don't understand why the ethnic info was needed.

 

[gracie1]

DD16s boyfriend called her and asked her to go to dinner tonight. She was busily prepping and looking good. This is a newish BF; they started dating at Christmas. Her last one *the Spanish/Greek guy* stepped out on her and she cut him off cold. This boy is a little Chinese guy, very sweet, rather shy. He's been hanging out with her and her friends and he's had goo-goo eyes for her for years.Finally got the nerve to ask her out. DD is clearly crazy about him. She's going to be like me and go for the exotic guys. Tonight BF showed up with nicely styled hair,cologne, and nice jeans, a big ol' white bear, box of candy, and 1 dozen roses. This is in addition to the 1 dozen carnations he gave her Friday. He's taking her to Olive Garden(her favorite) and a movie. So sweet.

And Eric came home with his new GF today. Poor thing, he has been looking and looking for a nice girl and every one he dates is just awful. Eric is a very smart, very well-read guy who has a romantic spirit and he wants so badly to give his heart to the right girl. He just met this girl a week or so ago and it seems to be a good match--she is smart, pretty, well-mannered, accepting, a little exotic (Japanese/Black/Irish--we're just a little United Nations around here). He introduced me to her as "my adopted mother." Bless his heart, I wish his own mother was here to see how great he has turned out.

I find nothing wrong with what you posted. I think it's cute!

 

[gracie1]

That is so sad. Most people I know like this, have some serious self hate issues.
I don't think because someone chooses to date outside of their race and opposite of what their parents are like have self hate issues at all. It makes it sound like the ones who date outside of their race and want the opposite of their parents are wrong for doing so.

 

[disneyjunkie]

She's a regular poster. She might have assumed we already had an idea of what they looked like.

Based on what??

 

[minkydog]

Minkydog,

I bet your kids are so excited and had a memorable Valentine's with those nice friends of theirs!

I loved hearing about the ethnicities you mentioned. It seems that you take an interest in the world around you and really appreciate and learn from different cultures. I say this because I've been disappointed about and couldn't believe the lack of knowledge/interest some of the people I've just gone to college with have about the world. I could give you examples but I don't mean to be OT. I love cultures and spend a lot of time researching them, from the most common to the lesser known.

Thank you. Growing up as I did in a vanilla & chocolate world, I had no opportunity to experience other cultures. I have taught my kids from a young age to think outside their own little world--there's a whole universe of differentness out there!

My husband cared; he's half Korean and didn't want to date in his own culture, and dated mostly women very opposite of his mom.

So many people care. It's interesting. And when you date someone that you might marry, you then have images of the kids you might have, and that's interesting too! Our son matched nothing in our heads, he was a recessive gened surprise, but maybe the next one will look more like DH?

I imagine he's a small guy, since she used the word "little". I imagine he's either from China or of Chinese descent, because she, you know, used the word "Chinese", and since he's a he, that's why she used the word guy.

Minky, it sounds very lovely in your home right now. I wish everyone luck!

It is. She was so giddy when she came home last night. And you're right, BF *is* physically a little guy, short and wiry. They are about the same size, actually. BF is half-Chinese. His mother, aunts, and grandparents are Chinese, from China. His dad is American. They speak Chinese and English, and his mother cooks mostly Chinese. They are a very nice, interesting family.

So why didn't she describe her children in the FIRST post?

Okay. DD16 is short, olive-skinned,thick dark hair/dark eyes, looks very Greek like her half-Greek dad. DS23 is tall, fair, light-eyed, and looks more like me, the half-Welsh side of the family. Eric is mostly Italian, dark curly hair, Mediterranean build. And Christian is tall, blond and blue-eyed--he looks like the preacher.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Okay. DD16 is short, olive-skinned, dark hair/eyes, looks very Greek like her half-Greek dad. DS23 is tall, fair, light-eyed, and looks more like me, the half-Welsh side of the family. Eric is mostly Italian, dark curly hair, Mediterranean build. And Christian is tall, blond and blue-eyed--he looks like the preacher.

Why didn't you include it in the first post?

 

[ReneeA]

I think it's great, Minky. So many girls that age allow themselves to be treated badly by their boyfriends...it's great that your DD is so confident.

 

[gregokdisney]

Why didn't you include it in the first post?

Probably because her kids are just her kids, and while she may think they're great, they are people she sees every day and therefore not exciting. I think she was just really thrilled for her kids to be dating such attractive, sweet and nice kids and was gushing about the dates, not her own kids.

Jeez, I cannot believe how nit picky some people are. She clearly is not a racist, or she'd be bothered that her kids were dating mixed race people. She may be happy that her kids are dating outside their own race, the way some people are happy their kids are dating medical students or star athletes, but she was just sharing her joy. Way to make a mountain out of a molehill!

 

[smschex]

Maybe it is just a bad Monday morning for some people or they enjoy being offended. Either way--

I thought the OP was painting us a great word picture. And I enjoyed the details. Even though I lurk alot more than I post, Minkydog is a frequent poster and I had a sense of what her kids are like without the descriptive phrases for them in the first post.

Okay. DD16 is short, olive-skinned,thick dark hair/dark eyes, looks very Greek like her half-Greek dad. DS23 is tall, fair, light-eyed, and looks more like me, the half-Welsh side of the family. Eric is mostly Italian, dark curly hair, Mediterranean build. And Christian is tall, blond and blue-eyed--he looks like the preacher.

Although I did love this! Sounds like the kids are doing well and isn't that what we all want?

 

[Rora]

OP- so great to hear about nice, sweet, young love!!

People need to stop being so sensitive. It seems like you have to walk on egg shells so you don't offend anyone. Well, you know what? You being offended, offends me. So there.