Aggravated With People Who Can't Return a Wedding Response Card...

[TwinMom7]

I did have several who responded for 3 or 4 when we only invited 2. Are people really that clueless???

 

[spearenb]

Twin,

Did you give them the option to PM you their response?

Just curious....

BTW, I didn't receive an inventation so I didn't respond either..

 

[TwinMom7]

No I did not. I assumed that putting a check mark on a card, licking the envelope and dropping it in a mail box was just as easy as emailing me with a response.

 

[mickeyfan1]

People are that clueless and it is because they are allowed to be. The ones who haven't responded, they get told if they show up sorry, we can't accomodate you. The ones who respond with "extras", they get a phone call telling them, sorry we only invited 2, we can't accomodated the 3 others. If they don't like it, it isn't your problem. If you wanted to have an open party, you wouldn't be sending out responce cards, nor would you be concerned about who might or might not show up.

So sad that you are the one having to deal with other peoples lack of manners.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by TwinMom7
I did have several who responded for 3 or 4 when we only invited 2. Are people really that clueless???

even if you write on the inner envelope:
"Jane and John"

they will still respond with their 2 children and the neighbors cat.

 

[FonFon]

We had the same issue. I originally wanted to play cheapskate and not stamp the response card envelopes, because I know my family that well.

We had people who responded, and then didn't show up, or people who showed up to the welcome party the night before with three of their friend, but didn't show up at the wedding, and people who didn't respond who showed up.

A nightmare. I completely feel your pain.

 

[cynsaun]

Originally posted by monkeyboy
you can be my "and Guest"

Thanks!

 

[suzannen]

Been there too! I have never understood why folks can't take the few seconds or minutes to send back a response card.

Of course, what do I know. I was told I "overreacted" when I caught a guest at a formal business black tie function that I planned move his namecard to the HEAD table to be right by the guest of honor. (Who had by the way, selected the folks at his own table.) My "overreaction" was I insisted his card and himself go back to his own seat/table. I guess I'm really over the top since he called me quite a few names.

Hang in there and try not to let the frustrations caused by some rude people ruin what should be such a fun, wonderful and special time.

 

[barbeml]

Yep, nothing brings out rude and thoughtless behavior like a wedding invitation.

One of DH's "friends" RSVP'd and insisted on bringing a date. Okay....

If you have ever done a seating chart, you know what a nightmare it can be. This "friend" calls two days before my wedding and said she was in Iowa (who knows why) and she and boyrfriend could not make it after all. I had to re-do my seating chart and, since I had already given my guarantee, I had to pay for their dinners.

She never even sent us a card.

 

[Arabella Figg 2003]

Oh, boy, this thread brings back memories...


My ex insisted on inviting a female friend (though not a former girlfriend) of his to our wedding. She wreote back on the response card that she'd be there, with her boyfriend and her mother. my ex refused to "uninvite" the extra people.

the morning of the wedding she had a fight with the boyfriend. none of them came to the wedding. and no one ever bothered to call to apologize.

 

[coliebird]

I hated having to call people to see if they were coming. We also had about 5 no-shows. One friend (and I use the term loosely) of my husbands called the night before the wedding (after they sent back the response that they were coming) and said "sorry, we have too much going on this month, we can't make it". OMG, I was furious. You didn't know 2 months ago or even a week before that you had too much going on. You waited until the night before when the count was already in. I refused to invite them to anything again. My husband wanted to invite them to our daughter's baptism b/c we went to theirs. I said absolutely not!

Sorry for the rant, it still peeves me 4 years later.

 

[Arabella Figg 2003]

Although occasionally when someone doens't RSVP...it's not their fault.


I was so embarased last year, when planning my older daughter's bat mitzvah. I asked a friend of mine why she had not returned the response card. she told me she never received the invitation! somehow it was lost in the mail.

for younger dd's bat mitzvah next year I think I'll hand dleiver the invitation!

 

[SpecialK]

Still remember DH's cousin calling and saying she couldn't possibly come if she couldn't bring her children...Our response, "Well, we'll miss you then." Haven't heard from her since. Or another cousin who replied no, called the day of to say he'd be there. Rushed around to change seating and add a place card to the table. Then - he didn't show up! When MIL called him on it, he sent a card with an apology and a check---that bounced!!! Hang in there and don't let it upset your happy day!

 

[snoopy]

Oh, and if you DON'T make those phone calls, rest ASSURED you will have people who show up having never responded. We had it happen at my sister's wedding. We helped her pay for the wedding, along with her new inlaws, and since none of us are rich we were really trying to pinch pennies. I was SHOCKED at these people that my sister works with -- 2 couples that never responded, and one single gal who showed up with a GUEST who was also not invited. The caterers were able to throw something together (and of course charged us for the extra plates), but I was steaming mad. I told my sister she needed to RID herself of friends like those.

THere is NO excuse for poor manners. None whatsoever. Please do call the people, as sickening as that is to have to do, better it be that then they just show up.

 

[2bemarried]

Originally posted by cynsaun
Hey! I didn't get one!

Pop Daddy said you would cause trouble

 

[Jeafl]

One of my more memorable experiences was sending an invitation out to a co-worker of my husband's and her husband. They sent the response card back with 2 on it...no problem.

The day of the wedding, they showed up with their daughter, son in law and 3 grandchildren! Apparently, their kids & grandkids decided to come in from out of town that weekend so the co-worker figured we wouldn't mind if they showed up with 5 more people! The worst part is they picked up their placecard, and then the whole group went and sat at their table. When the other guests assigned to that table showed up they had no place to sit. I made DH go and tell them that we didn't have a place for their kids and grandkids, and that we couldn't accomodate them. They got up in a huff and left which was fine with me. I was not about to have my invited guests not have a seat so that total strangers could sit and eat. Not only that, but we didn't invite children, so why did they think their grandchildren would be welcome?

It still amazes me that some people have no clue about etiquette.

 

[TwinMom7]

I think your story might just take the cake Jeafl!!!

Unbelievable nerve!

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

We did a buffet reception rather than a sit down for that very reason. All I has to do was estimate, and things worked out fine. DH and I were both active duty military when we got married and most of our wedding party and guests (outside of family) were military. We were totally understanding about last minute changes due to deployments popping up or being cancelled.

Also, we had not put "no children" on anything, but only one family presumed they could bring their child without asking. Fortunately the kids that did attend were very well behaved. One of my favorite memories of my wedding is the 10/11 yo son of one of my friends giving me a big bear hug and thanking me (with tears in his eyes) for letting him come to the "party."

I guess I don't win for problems, but when all is said and done, things will work out! Hang in there.

 

[aesalsa]

Originally posted by DisneyAddict_M
What's even worse is when people respond that they're coming and then don't show up. Don't they realize how much each plate of food costs???? That really burns my toast.

I know exactly what you mean. . .my EX-good friend did this. She was the only friend I kept from high school and thought we were pretty close. Well when it came time for the cake pulls at the reception, SHE was one of the girls who was supposed to pull one. Her name was called, and she didn't come up. That's when I realized that my so-called good friend didn't even come to my wedding. . .even after she sent her card (indicating that she would bring her BF) and talked about how excited she was to come . She didn't even call me to apologize for not coming! She called me on our first wedding anniversary, ONE YEAR LATER. . .she didn't realize that it was our anniversary, though. And she didn't apologize until I brought it up---she said she had to work late the night before and was too tired to make it. Now, I understand if someone gets sick or if there's an emergency, but just because you're TIRED?!?! I DON"T THINK SO! I would never miss a friend's wedding just because I didn't get a lot of sleep the night before. ANYWAY. . . .I fussed at her big time, and even told her that $100 was thrown away just because she decided not to come at the last moment; I didn't yell and scream, but we are no longer close friends and we rarely talk on the phone. It just showed how much she really cared. . .who needs friends like that .

 

[aesalsa]

Originally posted by arminnie
Wouldn't you just love to mail out a postcard that says

"Since we didn't hear from you we are assuming that you are NOT attending and have removed your name from the guest list."

LOVE IT! That would have felt SOOOO good!