Age In Relationships.

[DisneyFan06]

Okay. Does age matter to you?

I am a 21 year old male, dating a 29 year old female. Do you find that akward? I mean, be honest. She looks 24. Age to me doesn't matter but what do you think?

Thanks.

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

It completely depends on the individuals in the relationship. If it's working for you, then it's a good thing. I'm 10 years older than my husband. It's working just fine for us!

 

[meeskamouska]

I think age is relative after a certain maturity level....and at 21 you are old enough to know what ya want!!!

 

[ElizK]

Honestly, I think at your particular ages it matters. If you were, say, 30, and she were 40 I wouldn't think it did, but the life experience differences between 21 and 29 are usually pretty huge.

 

[NikiM20]

i was 19 and DH was 29 when we had DD (oops) Were still going strong after 8 yrs

 

[Hedy]

Honestly? I think it's a variety of factors-where you both are in life, what you want, etc. If it's working for you, that's what counts at this point.

 

[dodukes]

I agree with the above, I have always dated older guys. DBF and I are 15 years apart and it works for us. I think if just depends, but yes I agree with a PP that said the life differences at 21 and 29 are huge and they are.

You are asking the question so it means you are thinking about it, does it bother your or her?? Just curious.

 

[smartestnumber5]

My girlfriend is 6 years older than me. I am 24 and she is 30 and we got together when I was 22 and she was 28 so it's been 2 years. I can't say we've ever had any issues from the age difference, though we like to laugh a lot about how we're different generations when it comes to children's and pre-teen fads and tv shows and such. (The other day I was telling GF how I was at an academic event and all of the graduate students and undergraduates were talking to one another on one side of the room while all of the professors and the provost and such people were together on the other side. I unthinkingly repeated a joke I made to one of the undergrads about how, "You know the under-30 crowd has to stick together." GF just looked at me for a second and then said, "Umm...did you forget that *I* AM 30?!" I did forget. )

I think the age hasn't been a problem for us because when we got together we were both still in a somewhat partying kind of mode (grad school does that to you at almost any age I think) as was our group of friends. The only time the age difference really does matter for us is when it comes to commitment and getting married and having kids. This is my first relationship, but GF has had numerous before. Thus she's more sure that "I'm the right one" while I have the nagging doubt that "how can I ever be sure she's 'the right one' when I've never been in another relationship?" Also when it comes to kid GF is just more ready to give up the freedoms of being a childless adult because she's had that freedom so much longer than me. As far as problems in relationships go, though, these things are almost nothing.

In any case, hope everything works out for you!

 

[jenimay]

I'm 29 and couldn't see myself dating a 21 year old but maybe that's cause I have 3 kids. I guess the older you get the less of an age difference it seems. If it works for you, great!
Jeni

 

[pearlieq]

As long as everyone's of age, more power to them! Love works in strange ways...

 

[4nana]

Nope, to each his own and it really depends on the person. DH is 10 yrs my senior, however has a very young spirit and we enjoy so much together. Thus age has never been a factor.

 

[pfishgirl]

Nope... Age is Only a Number

You can't Stop falling in Love with someone Just because of their age.. besides, Hearts don't check ID

Congrats!! and Best Wishes!!

 

[barkley]

Okay. Does age matter to you?

I am a 21 year old male, dating a 29 year old female. Do you find that akward? I mean, be honest. She looks 24. Age to me doesn't matter but what do you think?

Thanks.

i was 27 and dh was just shy of 21 when he first asked me out-i was resistant for quite a long time not because of 'age' but because i saw him as entering a period of his life that i was def. done with (legal enuf to hit the bars-realy getting into the dating scene vs. finding that person you want to settle down with for marriage and to have kids). i ended up going out with dh a month after he turned 21 but we did not marry until he was 23 and i was just shy of 30. although i loved/love him dearly, i was still concerned when we married that he might regret missing out on the singles scene. it ended up never being a problem or issue for him. neither did having children (for him) at a much earlier age than i would have ever personaly considered.

appearance has never been an issue for us-i've always looked a good 10 years younger than i am, and dh prematurly grayed (he insists he found his first gray hair the day we married ) so more often than not people think he's my age or older. only time it was awkward was actualy quite comical in that it was'nt awkward for us. i had a a classmate that i had graduated highschool with who dh and i realized after dating had been one of his TEACHERS in highschool. the guy had always been very egotistical about his looks and sure enuf at my 20th class reunion he was there trying to appear the youngest looking guy in the group. dh goes up to talk to him, and the guy starts saying 'you look realy familiar but we had such a large graduating class can you remind me what class i was i took with you?'. dh without missing a beat sez 'oh x, we did'nt take any class together-you were my shophmore biology teacher'-guys face drops and the whole group around him just about dies with laughter

i think, for a long term relationship (if that's what both of you are after)-you have to consider what differences the age gap will bring. for us (and couples in your situation) it was 'is he ready to have kids' (cuz i did'nt want/could'nt wait 10 years), 'am i willing in my early 40's, 15 years out from retirement to have a dh who may be at the point career wise when he wants to change employers', 'can we handle one person likely retiring 8 or 10 years before the other' AND (big one for me) 'when we get much older is he likely to resent that when he ENTERS retirement i may be getting to an age where i am much less active and able to travel, may be in ill health'.


btw-we celebrate 16 years of marriage this week.

 

[drakethib]

Dude as log as your happy who cares what others think?

 

[supercarrie]

I am 20, and my boyfriend is 26. We started dating when I had just turned 19 and he was 24. Honestly, the only thing that caused an issue (and it was a very slight one) was the comments from other people. I look younger than I am as well, so some people would say things. Once our relationship became more serious and people got to know me, it completely stopped. Both sets of parents are completely accepting of it. Now they think (know ) that I am actually more mature than him! We joke that he acts about 15 and I act about 30, so it averages out nicely.

Before that, I went on a couple dates with a 28 year old. That was completely different - although I think him being absolutely crazy had something to do with it as well! He started talking about marrying me and having children on the 2nd (and last) date. It really depends on the situation.

 

[barkley]

i should add- LIST OF THINGS NOT TO SAY (or let your friends say) TO THE OLDER WOMAN YOU ARE DATING/MARRIED TO-

'i'm going to a retro costume party next week, YOU WERE AROUND BACK THEN-can you help me make sure my costume is authentic?',

(when your future kids have homework)-'daddys not sure, he was'nt born when that happened but you can ask mommy she remembers it realy clearly',

(when you're watching a vh1 'i love the...' show) 'wow i remember those, my mom had one/told me she played with those when she was a kid'

all of these have happened in our relationship-fortunatly for dh i have a good sense of humor (but a wicked backhand smack).

 

[MsLeFever]

Barkley - LOL!

I'm 8 years older than my DH.....

Read The Time Traveler's Wife - interesting take on age and relationships!

 

[DisneyFan06]

Dude as log as your happy who cares what others think?

I dont care what others think. That wasn't my point in creating the discussion. It was to ask people if age matters to them you can see there are a variety of diverse view points!

As for the others, thanks. I just wanted to know how others felt. There are many people who believe that age does matter and I was giving them (if they wanted to) the chance to discuss the topic. Thanks for your opinions, and I am so happy to hear that you all are happily married. It is truly a blessing!

 

[Forevryoung]

I think my relationship takes the cake for "weirdness"- including age... Obviously, we were destined not to work out but we never listened to destiny

We have been together a year exactly and still going strong. We take it one day at a time.

19 year age difference (he's older) He got out of boot camp for the Marines before I was born

 

[DISUNC]

Whatever works for you!
Someday when I get a chance I will tell you all about when i was 18 and had my 'Summer of 42" with Mrs. Robinson!

KU-KOO-KA Choo!