Of course, to each their own. But, I can't say I would encourage a big age gap (8 or more years) relationship for my kids if they were in their early twenties. Wouldn't stop them obviously, but wouldn't encourage it.
i realy would'nt either-i think if it's going to become one in which having children is a consideration it can cause allot of issues. i mean, dh and i had 5 years of alone time before we had kids (2 years dating/3 married) but there was def. a time issue staring us in the face. i had both my kids in my 30's which worked out fine-but with the second i had to have all the additional tests and take the precautions reccommended for a 'later in life pregnancy'. even if we had wanted more kids it's likely it would'nt have been highly reccommended. and that's the issue i see with an older woman/younger man situation-unless they agree totaly on the timing of having kids a year or two of waiting or waffling on a decision can mean it's no longer a viable option.
i've also seen this as an issue with older men/younger women-esp. when we're talking a guy in his 40's with a 20 something woman. a man in his 40's who is childless seems more often than not childless by choice-and not always keen on the idea of having a teen ager in the home in his 60's. if they've got kids from a previous relationship it often makes the dynamic worse (try step parenting someone you're only a few years older than-no thanks!).
then-and not to be morbid, there's always the consideration of life expectancy. it's not like you crunch the numbers on age and pick someone to love and marry based on if they'll be around as long as you will-but there is some comfort in knowing that you can spend some of your golden years together. my mother and allot of her peers married men 13, 15 or more years older-and they all became members of the 'cemetary club' much earlier in life than than their friends who married closer to their own age (and for at least a few-they had kids still in highschool or younger
).
i think for dh and i the only thing that's kind of out of whack for us is our friendships- for the most part we are kind of the 'odd men out'-his group of friends has kids much younger than ours, and mine have most of their raised or close to it. same with careers-when his friends were 'footloose and fancy free' taking a gamble at jumping from new opportunity to new opportunity dh
had a mortgage, wife and kids to consider-so he did'nt have the ability to maybe pursue some things he might have liked. he and his contemporaries are mid way through their careers while my contemporaries are studying the retirement bulletins and kidding dh that if he's 'nice' they might try to leave something in the social security system for when he 'gets there'
for fun-
how to tell you are older than your spouse-
you like the same songs-but he/she only knows the subsequent cover versions or from hearing them on the 'oldies station',
you and your in-laws can speak from personal knowledge on the same historical events (whereas your spouse remembers learning about it in school),
your first minimum wage job paid a full two thirds less than his/her first minimum wage job,
he/she gets mailer ads for scuba gear, lingeree and tatoos-where as you get them for durable medical equipment, adult diapers and the aarp,
and your 'mature driver' status cancels out his/her 'youthfull driver' status on your auto insurance
oops, sorry I mean he's 8 years older than me. We're still together after 18 years of happy and sometimes unhappy marital bliss.
