Advice please!! (Kinda Long)

[disneygirlatheart]

Everyone has helped tremendously in planning our first WDW vacation, which is in 12 days!! So excited!! I was hoping you could give me some advice on something else. I will try and keep it as short as possible. Here goes
I have been at my current job for almost 10 years. I make pretty good money for where we live, but I hate my job. It has gotten even worse in the past 6 months. I am thinking of quitting after our vacation. There are not any jobs where we live though. I will have to take a huge cut in pay. We are in major Credit card debt though. I don't know how I will pay these bills if I do. My DH makes triple what I do and he takes care of mortgage, vehicle, etc. Now they are talking about a big layoff at his job. He does not want me to quit until he sees when and if he will be laid off. My ds was a straight A student now makes all F's. He has fallen in with the wrong crowd and hates living where we do and just does not try in school. He is extremly smart and I hate to see him waste his life when he could go so far. Every teacher he has ever had has told me this. My dd does wonderul in school.
I have begged my DH to move we could sell our house, pay off all bills, and start over somewhere else new. He refuses to move, and there are times I feel like just picking up and leaving him here. I love him dearly, but he is so stubborn and just doesn't see things anyones way but his own. We are fixing to spend 5000 dollars on our WDW vacation and if I quit and he gets laid off we will really be in a finacial bind then. But we are still going we have had this planned for a long time.
My dd is a daddys girl so it would tear her heart out to leave him behind and mine too for that matter. I even found us a house for a price we can afford, to a place he loves. My dh won't even consider looking at it. I just know I am so miserable at every point in my life right now, and just wanted to let out some steam. Also to see if anyone has anyone advice for me on how they would handle this situation, or what they have done in similiar circumstances. Thanks for reading sorry it was so long.

 

[paigevz]

Well I hope it gets better for you!

I wouldn't cancel the vacation either. We also had some debt and got into some issues, and we talked about why we were spending so much on vacation when we were having probs, but we knew we'd go anyway. By the time we went, it was a bit better, and hopefully will stay that way (we'll have to pay daycare again in fall, so we'll see).

But, try really hard to quit using those cards. It's hard, I know, it was for me too, but once I got used to it, it was really okay. Shop the edges only at the grocery store..........and just go into the middles if you really need something. Kill any expensive habits you may have.......for us it was movies and eating out. Try to get just a few of the "must haves" for the kids on ebay or at garage sales and bulk up their wardrobe with "will dos".

Yes, quit your job. AFTER you find a new one. Look for it, find it, tell them you'll have to give notice at your old job and do so.

Then, think about this: moving won't solve the problem. In fact, it will likely add expenses to an already financially stressful time for you. Moving does take money. You didn't say ds was having any trouble with teachers/school, just slipping grades. What does he say is causing the problem? I might be able to give more specific advice.

Don't leave your husband just over these stresses and that he doesn't want to move.........if there's more to it, then you will need to search yourself to see if it's really needed. Be sure and spend some time when the kids are in bed with him...............touching each other, even just a hand on an arm makes you feel closer. And remember, leaving your husband will likely make your son worse, hurt your daughter and ADD financial stress.

I don't know if any of that helps, but it's all I've got. Hang in there!

 

[disneygirlatheart]

Thanks for the advice. The only problem my ds has is not caring about anything. He does not want to do homework, make the grades we all know he can, etc. He stayed grounded all last year. No X-BOX, games, tv, phone calls, going anywhere, etc. You would think he would do better after a full school year of this, but NO! Same old thing. You are right about moving, or leaving will add even more troubles moneywise. Thanks for the help!

 

[dznymom3]

Prayers for all of you. I know when we were in a lot of credit card debt, we had so much stress in our home it affected everyone. The best thing you can do for your kids is make them feel that your marriage is secure. Put your marriage first. Stop spending beyond your means, no more credit card spending. It is hard but can be done. We are now debt-free except for our mortgage and the stress relief is tremendous. Pray, pray, pray! Hope this helps.