Advice please -$$ issue if DS15 is bringing a friend

[Took]

I would like to offer my experiences Mickeymom629.

I am the younger of two children. My sister is 10 years older and I was essentially an "only child" for years. My parents frequently let me bring along friends on trips and these situations were always good and nearly always great (my parents are still happy about the trips, so I don't think I'm nostalgizing).

I also had a number of guy friends over the years and my parents often tried to accomodate my desire to spend time with both girlfriends and "boyfriends" (sometimes romantic, sometimes not) -- they generally made everyone feel welcome, whcih encouraged me to bring friends around and be open with my parents. Maybe my situation was unusual (w/o close siblings, it's hard to compare) but I wanted to encourage Mickeymom629 about bringing her son's girl "friend" on the trip.

Hopefully, the extra person will be a positive addition to the group. I will be very interested in hearing how this all turns out.

Took

 

[Robinrs]

Wow, mickeymom629:

That conversation with the Mom certainly explained alot! Sounds to me that she's just a real good friend to your DS and not just a "girl" he wants to be with.

Sounds like everything will work out fine. Good luck!

 

[erinch]

I have a DS15 whom I dearly love. He's a great kid.
But get him together with his other guy friends and he becomes a first-class jerk.
Especially to his sister, age 7.
Bring him and a male buddy on a trip--even locally to Kennywood, and we just wish we were dead.


But bring along a friend who's a girl, he's an angel, the girl is nice to little sis, and we have a lovely time.

As I said, call me sexist, but I bet adding a girl to the mix will make for happier trip dynamics.

 

[iwannago!!]

We have a dd (8) and a dd (4mo). Since there is such an age gap, I offered to bring one of dd(8)'s friends. We mentioned it to her mother before asking the friend.. she thought it was great! We went ahead and followed through with the invite after thinking through a lot of the details:
will we need another hotel room with friend - no
will we need another park pass - yes
will we need to spend more money on food - yes, but not much
will we need $$ for her to spend - yes, on souvineers.
will we need $ for her airfare - no, we could spend our FF miles on her.

So - since WE wanted to bring her, we thought that it would be inappropriate to ask her mom to fork over a bunch of cash for a trip for her dd to go to WDW... when she wasn't going to get to experience it with her dd.

We spent our ff miles on the ticket and gave her mom 5 months to purchase a PHP pass. i told her it would run $xx. I also told her that we would handle meals (since we could all share anyway) and that she would have to send spending money for souvineers. Then I provided her a list of 'must have's' for souvineers... autograph book, cool pen, ears, visor. I told her about the hair wraps etc.... I would not pay for that stuff... if her dd will want it, she will have to plan on it.. or we could just not do it, no big deal. If she wants souvineers for her little sis, mom, dad etc, send money and I will help her shop. This was all perfectly acceptable and understood.

Now what we did to offset our PS costs, since we plan to do a couple Epcot dinners, we purchased the vouchers. DD and friend can share a voucher, DH and I can share an adult voucher... and we purchased some Q&C vouchers. Friends mom offered some $ for these, we declined. We figure that since we invited her, we shouldn't expect $xxxx for taking her.

Now if I was working with 15year olds.. all of this might be different. After all, a 15yr old might be able to EARN a big portion of trip cost.. cutting grass, painting, staining deck or fence, raking leaves, sealing driveway,... I could think of all kinds of ways for kids to earn those expensive meals!!!!

have fun!

 

[mickeymom629]

What are the vouchers you are talking about? I never heard of those.

My DS15 was at the girl's softball game yesterday and the mom drove him home and told him of our conversation. She was going to discuss it later with her daughter who wasn't in the car because she had a team dinner after the game. She and my son discussed the tickets; she knows her daugher will need them.

Yes, if this girl comes only during our stay at WDW, she will be a welcome addition because I know my son will be on his best behavior and she gets along nicely with my other children, especially my daughter.

I have thoughts on how I would like to have them give me $20-25 /day to cover food expenses and just pay for the days used on the hopper pass I will purchase, but I am not going to mention it at this point. If they are thinking that she is our guest and we will cover food and tickets, then I will not make an issue of it. BUT I will expect my son to "earn" part of this by doing extra chores around the house before the trip.

From the sounds of things, they seem like generous, open-minded people (more than I seem to be) and I'm sure things will work out.

I just hope it gets figured out soon so I can plan our itinerary (my favorite pasttime)

Again, thanks to all of you who are helping me think this through.
I will keep you posted.

 

[aprincessmom]

So - since WE wanted to bring her, we thought that it would be inappropriate to ask her mom to fork over a bunch of cash for a trip for her dd to go to WDW... when she wasn't going to get to experience it with her dd.

I'm this way too...a bit old fashioned I guess. If I invite, I pay whether it's dinner or vacations. If someone offers to pay, I may or may not (depending on the situation) accept. DD is still young (7) so we haven't invited anyone other than family along with us on vacations (we do pay for them).

Sounds like your son will have a great time with his friend and it's really nice that her mom is so open to having her come along. I bet you all will have a great time.

 

[iwannago!!]

Connections and Simple Escapes have vouchers.. do a search on Connections and SE or Simple Escapes.. there is a TON of info on these boards.
I purchased 10 of the Quick and Casual lunch/dinner vouchers. They are about $11 each and are good at all the counter service food places in the parks.. and a few other places too (beaches and cream at the YC-BC) Each of these vouchers is good for a drink, an entree, a side and a dessert. Last year, 2 adults and 2 kinds used 2-3 vouchers per meal and were quite full on that!!

I also purchased some of the Vacation Kingdom Lunch Vouchers.. they are about $30 for adults and $12-$13 for children. They are good at the sit down restaurants but have to be used during lunch hours and not dinner. Each voucher is good for an appetizer, drink, complete entree, dessert. I figure that we can use 2-3 per meal (one adult and 2 kids?) and all share. this will make our sit down late lunches cost about 50% of what they would cost.. the only downside is that it has to be late lunch instead of dinner.Oh well we can deal with that! After all, we will want to get out of the sun in July at lunchtime anyway!


GOOD LUCK!

 

[mickeymom629]

Thanks for the info on the vouchers; I will check it out.

I have been planning this vacation for months and thinking about the which restaurants to try. I realize now that it wouldn't be fair to think that she should pay when I have these arrangements rather than eating at the fast food (which my family loves anyway). I think I will cancel the HDDR because $300 (almost) is just too much for 7 people. But I still want to do breakfast at Restaurantosaurus, ice cream social at GG (DH and I are going to be rehitched--the kids don't know) and I want to get tickets(if they offer them with the dinner package) to the show at the American Pavilion in Epcot. We are going to be there on my birthday, and will go to either Olivia's or Ohana's. We rarely/never go out anywhere at home (not even fast food), so vacations are always a treat for everyone (especially me who doesn't have to cook).

Her parents know we don't have the budget they do and I'm sure they will not feel like we are rude if we do not treat for everything. Maybe I will pay for all sit-down meals and she will have her own money for quick bites.

I purchased a park hopper today . . . (even if she doesn't end up going, the price always goes up and we WILL use it eventually!)

 

[marymrg]

mickeymom629 - I bet you will be able to work it all out with the girl's mom. And, it seems to me that she will probably offer to pay for certain things anyway. Take her up on the offers that you need to and don't feel bad about it! She sounds pretty laid back to me! And I bet flying her down is perhaps a family compromise that they are making so that she doesn't miss too much work time.

May I suggest that if there is time, that you let DS and his friend go to Disneyquest one evening? (perhaps this is something that your son could pay for out of his own spending money) My son and nephew went there and had a blast. They told me that Downtown Disney will never be the same........lol. They rode the bus there, had to return to the bus stop by midnight and then came straight back. I gave them our room phone number........"just in case" and my son also had my cell number. I had figured an approx time they should be back (if they had to wait for a bus and travel time) and they returned well before my "now I'm really worried time". They were thrilled to do something on their own and it was a good test of mutual trust on my side. Or, make it a family night..........eat at McDonald's and shop while your older kids spend some time there. As you know, Downtown Disney is so close to OKW.


p.s. I bought the tix. as a birthday gift. through ticketmania.