Advice on Childcare Please

[jodifla]

"The OP asked a question and wanted an answer, not a lecture."
What I had previously posted was hardly a lecture, just an opinion. You want a lecture - read on
OK, I see how this works....Someone has a different opinion than the original poster,and they are deemed wrong. Possibly it is because to some a Disney trip really isn't that big of a deal just look at all the 'notches in the belts' of some of these posters who list every trip they have taken. To me and my family none of whom have ever been to Disney this is a HUGE deal to us. I want to be there to see them witness all that Disney has to offer. This is the trip that we have promised the kids for when Daddy gets home from Iraq - which will hopefully be before April when we are scheduled to go.


"What they fail to recognize is that you're taking care of your marriage, which your children depend on."

No what someone is failing to recognize is that a marriage needs more work than one night out of 365 is going to take. Try talking to your spouse about important things everyday instead of having to 'make an appointment' weeks in advance, and trying to squeeze it in sometime between the Magic Kingdom and Epcot. A marriage needs to be taken care of EVERY day.

Yes, having the time alone and letting the kids do their own things is important, but foster that outside of a vacation.

At some time 'too late' becomes too late

Your posts have been really uncalled for.

I grew up in FLorida, own DVC, and have been to DIsney literally countless times. What's your point? Many of us here have.

And those of us who have date nights also take care of our marriage on a daily basis. How can you even suggest otherwise?

If you choose never to have alone time with your DH, fine. Your choice. But like I said, my son is in bed by 8:30, so us going out without him is hardly being "selfish." He gets a good night sleep, we get a night on the town.

Open your eyes. There is more than one way to live a life.

 

[Cruz Family]

I personally would NEVER leave my children on vacation, we go as a family, we eat as a family, we play as a family. llazykllamas did say a few things that were a little over the line but in her defense I myself am a little sick of the way some people (not all) treat their children like baggage that they are stuck lugging around all day and can not wait drop them off and get rid of the extra weight. My husband and I do make time for our selves but that is at home. I dont think the OP is evil or bad for wanting time alone with her husband, but if I understand correctly what she is implying I think her children would need her even more then her husband. What ever you do good luck and god bless.

 

[jodifla]

I personally would NEVER leave my children on vacation, we go as a family, we eat as a family, we play as a family. llazykllamas did say a few things that were a little over the line but in her defense I myself am a little sick of the way some people (not all) treat their children like baggage that they are stuck lugging around all day and can not wait drop them off and get rid of the extra weight. My husband and I do make time for our selves but that is at home. I dont think the OP is evil or bad for wanting time alone with her husband, but if I understand correctly what she is implying I think her children would need her even more then her husband. What ever you do good luck and god bless.

Then start your own thread please, don't hijack this one. OP was asking about childcare options, not inviting criticisms on parenting styles.

 

[Cruz Family]

Then start your own thread please, don't hijack this one. OP was asking about childcare options, not inviting criticisms on parenting styles.

First of all I am not the first one to give my opinion on this thread.
Looking back on your previous posts on this thread you sure do not have a problem giving your opinions!

 

[money4mickey]

Dee-
About your original question. I am no disney expert by any means...this will be my first trip as the mom! But, I think the Fairy Godmothers or a Kids club are you two best bets. We are giong with Neverland simply because my son is a total social butterfly and will absolutely LOVE the club time. As a matter of fact, we are only planning on having him there one night but I am budgeting for two in case he begs (GASP...double times the horrible mother )
Personally, the idea of the Godmothers doesn't sound that great to me. I wouldn't really be comfortable with someone leaving the room with my son but I wouldn't really want him watching TV all night. I think the Neverland club is a great option! Fun and games with kids your own age...what could be more cool?

By the way...don't feel bad, I rarely post here but nearly everytime I do someone feels the need to comment on how "horrible" it is that we aren't taking our 18 month old with us. Sooooo....babysitting on top of not taking the youngest clearly makes me a more shameful mom than you!!

 

[leighe]

I personally would NEVER leave my children on vacation, we go as a family, we eat as a family, we play as a family. llazykllamas did say a few things that were a little over the line but in her defense I myself am a little sick of the way some people (not all) treat their children like baggage that they are stuck lugging around all day and can not wait drop them off and get rid of the extra weight. My husband and I do make time for our selves but that is at home. I dont think the OP is evil or bad for wanting time alone with her husband, but if I understand correctly what she is implying I think her children would need her even more then her husband. What ever you do good luck and god bless.

Are you suggesting that people who use sitters or the kids clubs at WDW consider their children to just be extra baggage? Wow.

To the OP - my best friend has used Fairy Godmothers for her 4 year old DD several times and my parents sent my younger brother and sister to the Neverland Club a few times and they loved it. I think either is a great option. I hope you and your DH have a fabulous night out!

 

[scrappinmom]

Considering the ages of your kids, they might enjoy Neverland club...& please don't be hurt by what others have said...none of us know your reasons for wanting/needing time with your dh...in all honesty it doesn't matter! Sorry your questioned got turned into a debate! What about the Pirate Cruise? it might be too late for that...but you said you needed some alone time, not specifically at night? Anyway I hope you have a wonderful trip for youself, your husband and your children!

 

[Cruz Family]

Are you suggesting that people who use sitters or the kids clubs at WDW consider their children to just be extra baggage? Wow.

Maybe you do not understand the words " some people (not all)", let me clarify I meant "SOME PEOPLE (NOT ALL). Is that more clear?

Just so you know I have been a family childcare provider for over eight years. Over those years I have cared for more then 100 children, many who have been taken from their parents by social services, many who are HIV postive, children of teen parents, babies born addicted to drugs, and many, many other situtaions most people never could imagine. When I began caring for children I was only doing private care and had clients that were doctors, engineers, and, a professor. I was making very good money at that time, but it just made me sick. Most of my children were in my care for 10-12 hours a day while some of them had moms who didn't even work. The doctors wife use to drop offf the three boy (none of which she had no control of) three days a week wearing her little tennis skirt being sure to let me know who she was playing and lunching with today. I have so many stories (don't worry I wont get in to more) that would just horrify any good parent. So when I say some people treat their children like extra baggage, Sorry but some do! After all why would you be offended if you don't.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Did I miss something here? Where does it say that the OP needs to work on her marriage? Personally, I think its much more serious than that.

 

[Karel]

I just don't get the idea of taking a family vacation, then leaving the kids behind. Why not plan some "quiet" time for when you are at home and it is not such an exciting time for the kids. My bet is that they would like to spend their vacation with their parents.

So I guess that means your children won't be using the kid club on your cruise then?


To OP: We've used Fairy Godmother twice and really liked them. It was nice coming back and having the kids asleep. The price was good too, for three kids.

 

[Willow25]

I am seriously shocked by some of these posts. I visited this forum for the first time today as my husband and I are thinking about starting a family. I just can't understand why people continue to jump to conclusions and make such harsh judgements about people they have never met. To the OP I think it is nice that you and your husband are going to have a night alone. Good luck to you I hope that you have a wonderful holiday.

I hope that when I have children the way I decide to raise them and the decisions that I make in regards to leaving them for one night on vacation is not judged so harshly by people I have never met and who know nothing about my life situation.

 

[mjmcca]

From the way some of you post I would have thought she was asking for a service to pay to take the kids to the park everyday while she goes to the spa and then parties all the time.

 

[bellfield349]

I did say I didnt want to go in to personal details but there are a couple of you who seem to think I am a bad parent for wanting two hours away from the kids ears to discuss things.
I have cancer, things have been very tough for us all but it looks like things are going to get harder and I wont be around for my babies this time next year. I have begged and pleaded with the consultants to allow me permission to travel as I feel my family needs some quality time together, not to mourn but to celebrate my life on earth.
Now as I explained we have no family here so my husband and I do not have any time to ourselves, my time is with the children 365 days 24hours. All I need is a couple of hours quality time with my husband where we can discuss future, have a cry, etc, these are things I don't want my children seeing or hearing, we haven't even approached this with my children yet and we need to know how. So please stop your judgements you don't know me you don't know my family, I didnt call for your comments which have deeply upset me and I will never post to this group again. My children mean the world to me, how do you think I feel knowing I wont see them grow up

 

[Cruz Family]

I am truely sorry if what I said upset you.
Your sitituation is just tragic and not the the kind I was refering to in my earlier comments (as wll as many others on this board) . If things are as you say, you more then anybody know how precious children are and I hope you can understand there are some who abuse the situation. With that said I (and in this case I am sure I speak for everyone) hope you continue to post. You happened to touch a sore spot, but for the most part we all just love Disney and enjoy one another comments and advice.
I hope you family has a wonderful vacation and finds the magic of the mouse a comfort. God bless, Melissa

 

[mask_w03]

I'm sorry you have to explain why you are wanting to do something. Everyone needs personal time with their DH or DW no matter the reasons and not having family close doesn't make it easy. I hope you all can go and celebrate and have a wonderful trip to WDW and you and your DH can enjoy some time together to go over everything.

Lots of wishes and hugs to you and your family!

 

[jodifla]

I am truely sorry if what I said upset you.
Your sitituation is just tragic and not the the kind I was refering to in my earlier comments (as wll as many others on this board) . If things are as you say, you more then anybody know how precious children are and I hope you can understand there are some who abuse the situation. With that said I (and in this case I am sure I speak for everyone) hope you continue to post. You happened to touch a sore spot, but for the most part we all just love Disney and enjoy one another comments and advice.
I hope you family has a wonderful vacation and finds the magic of the mouse a comfort. God bless, Melissa

Of course, you quickly jumped in to judge before you knew all the facts.

 

[jodifla]

I did say I didnt want to go in to personal details but there are a couple of you who seem to think I am a bad parent for wanting two hours away from the kids ears to discuss things.
I have cancer, things have been very tough for us all but it looks like things are going to get harder and I wont be around for my babies this time next year. I have begged and pleaded with the consultants to allow me permission to travel as I feel my family needs some quality time together, not to mourn but to celebrate my life on earth.
Now as I explained we have no family here so my husband and I do not have any time to ourselves, my time is with the children 365 days 24hours. All I need is a couple of hours quality time with my husband where we can discuss future, have a cry, etc, these are things I don't want my children seeing or hearing, we haven't even approached this with my children yet and we need to know how. So please stop your judgements you don't know me you don't know my family, I didnt call for your comments which have deeply upset me and I will never post to this group again. My children mean the world to me, how do you think I feel knowing I wont see them grow up

I am so sorry for your situation. This is tragic. As someone who has used sitting services many times, you should feel comfortable in this choice and go spend some much needed time with your husband.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[jlhansen]

I posted a pm yesterday to Dee hoping she knows its just a handful of ignorant people that felt that way. My heart literally breaks that she had to justify and respond to both lazyllamas and the Cruz family by sharing such intimate details. Ladies, it is none of your business and you do not have the right to add anymore "mothers guilt" to anyone and you should truly be ashamed. At least one of you had the guts to apologize. I hope this is a lesson to you both - keep your opinions unless asked for off the boards.

 

[Cruz Family]

Of course, you quickly jumped in to judge before you knew all the facts.

First of all I didn't jump to judge anyone but specifically parents who use childcare in a way I feel is plain wrong. I never said the OP was doing such a thing, or called her a bad parent or even said "she" was wrong. If you went back and actually read the entire thread I am not the one who started this whole thing, I added my two cents after many others gave their opinions on the subject. My heart goes out to this family, but I still stand by what I said previously as my comments were directed to a very specific group. This is a highly unusual situation and I doubt that any of the people I refered to are in a similar one. The reason I apologized to the OP because what she and her family is going through is so much bigger then all of this, and the only thing she needs at this time is support.

 

[mrsmariahc]

I did say I didnt want to go in to personal details but there are a couple of you who seem to think I am a bad parent for wanting two hours away from the kids ears to discuss things.
I have cancer, things have been very tough for us all but it looks like things are going to get harder and I wont be around for my babies this time next year. I have begged and pleaded with the consultants to allow me permission to travel as I feel my family needs some quality time together, not to mourn but to celebrate my life on earth.
Now as I explained we have no family here so my husband and I do not have any time to ourselves, my time is with the children 365 days 24hours. All I need is a couple of hours quality time with my husband where we can discuss future, have a cry, etc, these are things I don't want my children seeing or hearing, we haven't even approached this with my children yet and we need to know how. So please stop your judgements you don't know me you don't know my family, I didnt call for your comments which have deeply upset me and I will never post to this group again. My children mean the world to me, how do you think I feel knowing I wont see them grow up

My heart is breaking right now. You and your family are in my thoughts. I am so sorry.