Advice needed - what should I do?

[Grendalynn]

Hi all. This is a weird question and I am in a tough spot and I am not sure what to do. This week my childhood best friends dad passed away. This was my very first friend and we stayed close through elementary school - even when she moved away. Same with most middle school and the beginning of high school. I have many, many fond memories of our childhood and so much of my elementary school years include her. But then we drifted apart our junior and senior year, rarely spoke again until we found each other on Facebook a few years ago. I always enjoyed seeing her parents when we ran into then at the grocery store or local event. My friend now lives on the west coast and rarely comes "home". I still live in our home town and when she does come back, she doesn't call or make plans for us to get together even though I have suggested so on facebook.

Our high school hockey team has made it to the high school state championship and they are playing tomorrow a couple hours away. during the same time as the service. 2 of my boys are very in to hockey and we go to most every home high school hockey game . We have many friends with kids on the hockey team and I know most of the team personally. The game is at the same time as the Funeral Service tomorrow - What do I do? I went to the visiting hours tonight and was able to reconnect with the family and stay for about an hour.. We made plans to visit at their family home before She leaves town this week. I am not sure what to do - Should I also go to the Funeral tomorrow? Or the hockey game that we were all looking forward to and then stop in and visit the family later this weekend??

 

[pumpkinmomma]

Go to the funeral. You will regret it if you don't.

There will be other hockey games to attend in the future.

 

[Swan4Me]

To me, one visit is enough

I always see many more people at the nighttime wake, then the next day at the Funeral

 

[Abbie]

If I go to the visiting hours I do not feel obligated to attend the funeral unless I really want to. You saw the family tonight and expressed your condolences, truthfully they won't notice your absence tomorrow.

I would go to the hockey game in a heartbeat, it is such a big deal to get to the state level! (just got home from our boys' state semi-finals in basketball ) Your family comes first in this instance in my opinion, go with a clear conscience.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I only go to the funeral if I am family. You went to the visitation, you are off the hook.

 

[not_minnie]

I think that, for me, this is the clincher:

I still live in our home town and when she does come back, she doesn't call or make plans for us to get together even though I have suggested so on facebook.

Visitation, a nice card or letter, and a visit later in the week as you are planning would be enough for the current level of the relationship, KWIM?

 

[shortbun]

I sure hope you've decided to go to the hockey game with your family. You have paid your respects and you will see your friend again before she leaves. This kind of fun, family event and celebration with children is not something you can get back. As the mother of a great kid who is growing up and needing me less and less, spend the time with your kids!

 

[powellrj]

Go to the hockey game, you went to visitation and spoke with the family then, so you have done your part.

 

[padams]

I think that, for me, this is the clincher:



Visitation, a nice card or letter, and a visit later in the week as you are planning would be enough for the current level of the relationship, KWIM?

 

[Keli]

I would go to the hockey game and then later hook up with friend before she leaves town.

 

[zurgswife]

I also vote hockey game.

 

[Grendalynn]

Hockey game it was - and they WON!! and I plan to catch up with DF tomorrow afternoon!!