ADVICE NEEDED! How do you handle questions about the magic?

[princessjv]

I need some Disney Parenting help please...

My DS (5) is your typical genious type Who since his 1st WDW trip at 2.5, has been racking his lil'l brain with how the magic works? Ya, he loves the rides too. But at this point we are unsure if it is the thrill and excitment of the rides he likes or the 'how it works' part...

Here is my problem:
Last night at dinner we were discussing Disney and the Mouse (as always...what family doesn't, huh). My DS(5) asked, "Why is it that MICKEY never talks when we see him in the WDW? He always talks when I see him on TV." (Mickey Mouse Club House). He asked if he is shy, does he always have food in his mouth (we usually get close...at Character meals)?

We are pretty honest people, we generally try to tell ds 'how it is' in 5 year-old-like terms, when questions come up. BUT, listen...we won't be having any of the NO magic stuff yet...he is only 5!

I know that this has come up for many of you...what did you say?

As is, we tried to change the subject...while my DH spelled out-
T.H.E. M.A.G.I.C. I.S. G.O.I.N.G and then I did the BIG N.O.!

 

[TheDizMom]

What a tough one. We had to tell our daughter but it was because she was petrified of any character without a persons face. We were trying to tell her she didn't have to be scared because it was just a person in a constume . To bad it didn't work . We are using the same argument this time with limited success . Anyway, maybe you could tell him he can only talk in his cartoons because they put magic in them to make him have a voice. Do you have a dog? Remind him that the dog is an animal just like a mouse is. Your family dog can't talk either. But when they make a movie they can use special Disney magic so Mickey can talk .

 

[reginaastralis]

I like the poster above, explain like a doggy talks in movies, but doesn't talk in real life.

It's kinda like Santa. How on Earth do you explain all those Santas? Of course, they're "helpers". My sister is nine and firmly believes that the Santa at our mall is the "real" one. Cute.

I don't think Jordyn ever really asked, but I kinda remember a talk about how they are helpers with the magic.

 

[asktriplets]

we've just started getting these questions over the last few months (and i'll tell you, there are few things cuter or more amusing than three 4 y.os. discussing how to tell if a character is real using THEIR logic!)....

for most questions ("is that the real peter pan /mickey mouse? why doesn't goofy talk?", etc) , i respond with, "well, i'm not sure. what do you think?", and that has been enough to stop the questions to us, but they still discuss it among themselves. to statements like "that can't be the real ursula" (which are directed at us as questions), i usually give a "well, is that what you think?" with their response, i give a thoughtful, "hmmmm" or "oh".

at THIS age, that's enough, but i dread the time when they keep asking for an answer....i want to allow them to retain a sense of wonder in the magical for as long as possible (disney, santa, easter bunny), but i don't feel comfortable completely lying to them either.


good luck,

 

[tiggermei]

DD6 (almost 7) recently asked the question about how Mickey being at WDW and DLR at the same time and how. Frightened of the magic loss, I asked her "what do you think?" She responded "well, obviously one of them isn't the REAL Mickey Mouse." When I asked her which was the real one, she responded the one in Disneyland. Why? Well, because that's the first Disney park. Apparently (we've decided) the one at WDW is his twin. When she later asked how Cinderella can be in the castle and in Toon Town at the same time, I again asked her what she thought. She decided that it doesn't matter. So, I side the above poster. Turn the question around on DS. Ask him what he thinks? Often, they'll give an answer THEY are okay with, without losing the magic. We often "assume" the magic is leaving, when they're just trying to reconcile it with their experience. No lying -- just postponing the inevitable.

 

[FatElvis]

My 5 yo daughter is still pretty convinced of the real-ness of them all, luckily. A few weeks ago my mom told her, "You're so pretty! Maybe when you grow up you can be one of the princesses at Disney World!" I just froze and tried to give her the "knock it off" look, but my daughter just rolled her eyes and said, "Well that just won't work - the princesses are already born and living there!" Kind of with that "DUH!" tone in her voice

I'm actually a little surprised she hasn't noticed or asked more questions, but I'm just being thankful that the magic is still real for now!

Good luck!

 

[Trixie15]

My dd's already know that any of the characters are just people dressed in costumes. It was the only way we could get youngest dd anywhere near the Easter bunny at the mall one year, and it's always stuck with her. They still have a LOT of fun and it hasn't changed anything for them, maybe because they never knew any different?

Good luck with your kids and the questions - I hope they have a good time!

 

[princessjv]

A few weeks ago my mom told her, "You're so pretty! Maybe when you grow up you can be one of the princesses at Disney World!" I just froze and tried to give her the "knock it off" look, but my daughter just rolled her eyes and said, "Well that just won't work - the princesses are already born and living there!" Kind of with that "DUH!" tone in her voice
Good luck!

My they are so sweet, aren't they!

 

[princessjv]

we've just started getting these questions over the last few months (and i'll tell you, there are few things cuter or more amusing than three 4 y.os. discussing how to tell if a character is real using THEIR logic!)....

for most questions ("is that the real peter pan /mickey mouse? why doesn't goofy talk?", etc) , i respond with, "well, i'm not sure. what do you think?", and that has been enough to stop the questions to us, but they still discuss it among themselves. to statements like "that can't be the real ursula" (which are directed at us as questions), i usually give a "well, is that what you think?" with their response, i give a thoughtful, "hmmmm" or "oh".

at THIS age, that's enough, but i dread the time when they keep asking for an answer....i want to allow them to retain a sense of wonder in the magical for as long as possible (disney, santa, easter bunny), but i don't feel comfortable completely lying to them either.


good luck,

Totaly argree! So far we have been lucky to get away with putting it in his field. At Christmas he asked if Santa was real? When I asked why, he said someone at school told him there was no Santa (he is in PRESCHOOL). I asked him what he thought and he said, "I think he is real, but I don't know why he is always changing clothes all of the time."

THANKS everyone for the input, If you ahve anymore, please send it my way.

 

[egoldber]

for most questions ("is that the real peter pan /mickey mouse? why doesn't goofy talk?", etc) , i respond with, "well, i'm not sure. what do you think?", and that has been enough to stop the questions to us, but they still discuss it among themselves. to statements like "that can't be the real ursula" (which are directed at us as questions), i usually give a "well, is that what you think?" with their response, i give a thoughtful, "hmmmm" or "oh".

This is almost exactly what I do as well. By turning it around on her she usually comes up with an explanation that suits her and I agree with it.

My DD5 is just now starting to get to the point of realizing that the princesses can't be in two places at once. She made a comment to "Aurora" last month about wishing she had a wig like hers. The "Aurora" did a fabulous job of keeping a straight face. But I mourn the loss of the magic....

 

[tiggermei]

They are cute, aren't they? DD also has decided she wants to work at WDW one day and since all of the characters are already there, she will have to invent a new one. She has done so and named it. I'm not sure how she's working this out in her head, but it's hysterical.

 

[TheDizDad]

I agree with my DW. Just tell him it's someone inside a costume and he/she is not allowed to talk. Heck, I get excited when I see the characters!! And I know it's just a person wearing a costume.

 

[princessjv]

They are cute, aren't they? DD also has decided she wants to work at WDW one day and since all of the characters are already there, she will have to invent a new one. She has done so and named it. I'm not sure how she's working this out in her head, but it's hysterical.

You must write that down and never forget it! You have your own self made Princess!

 

[princessjv]

I agree with my DW. Just tell him it's someone inside a costume and he/she is not allowed to talk. Heck, I get excited when I see the characters!! And I know it's just a person wearing a costume.

I know that will come sooner than I want it too, but I just can't do it yet...

 

[Becky2005]

It really all depends on the child. My children are way too logical for their own good. Especially my 2nd one, he always figured things out on his own without me having to say much of anything. They have always know there have been character helpers but they are still immersed in the magic.

They enjoy seeing the characters and as far as they are concerned they ARE who they are when we see them. As far as I'm concerned, they are the characters too.

Even my oldest -- then again she's always been my fantasy girl & was excited to go give the Hostess Twinkie the Kid a hug when we saw him at Wal-Mart too and she was 10.

I've only had 1 problem and that was when my now 10 year old DS was in preschool, the school had a special visitor -- The purple dinosaur and one of the little girls went screaming...my DS goes up to her trying to get her to join the fun by telling her "it's OK...it's just someone dressed up" -- he didn't say it to be malicious but to calm her fears & try to get her to join in. He didn't say it loud so other kids could hear but I was just trying to get him to *SHHHHH* After he did that, he just went on his way to enjoying interacting with the dinosaur and never said anything else about it.

 

[ohiominnie]

The characters at the park don't talk because if they did they'd spend SO much time talking to all the children that the lines would be long, they'd miss being in the parade and shows, and/or they couldn't get to the character meals.
Besides, they are SO expressive without words---always amazes me.

As for how characters can be at Disneyland and Disneyworld and the cruise line, etc etc all at the same time......pixie dust.

 

[Pooki]

I totally agree with most posters when you say you turn the question back around to the child - thats what I do with my DD5 (almost 6). My DS3 has yet to think this type of stuff through. About 2 years ago or so, my daughter asked me if Ariel was a real mermaid, and I explained to her that she is a cartoon/drawing. After the fact, I felt so aweful, thinking that I was taking the magic and innocense away from her since that will only last but so long. Luckily, somehow she seems to have "forgotten" that and she "knows" that she is real. Usually I will turn the question back around, but a few times that just doesnt work and I have been left scrambling for an answer. One was after our trip in December...she wanted to know why Chip and Dale are so big in real life, when all other chipmunks and squirrels are so little. I quickly told her that I really don't know, since I dont know them in real life, but my guess is that they were born so big, and were so special that they became movie stars! She asked about why some characters didnt talk, and I told her, like a PP, that they are just so busy with so many other kids wanting to visit, that they just dont have time to talk to everyone. If I'm stuck having to give a real answer, I'll let her know that I honestly dont know, but my guess would be....

One other thing that she asked about is how characters will be in the Disney Land in Tokyo (we are moving to Japan this June). I told her that like Santa, they take turns going to visit different parks that way ALL kids get to see them...so I'm sure that most of her favorite characters will probably come to see the kids over in Japan also!

 

[MamaOfTwoPrincesses]

My dd (5) told me that the face characters don't talk because they have to save their voices for their shows, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Little Einsteins. She did have a hard time with Chip n Dale, but I can't recall how that was resolved. She also asked why they were so big!

 

[dadof2]

my DD6 was a believer until this past year at MVMCP. We were trying to get out of the MK when the second parade started. We just passed Donald's tree farm where Donald was taking pictures, walked straight from there, behind the castle only to see the parade & Donald passing. She wanted know how there could be two Donald's. I just said that he was very fast, don't think she believed me. That was a VERY hard one to explain.

 

[pezpam]

I also turn it around and ask what she thinks. First, you can get some really cute responses, but beyond that, their answers can let you know where they are in the whole figuring-out process. When DD was 5, she came up with all sorts of creative stories, but a couple of years later, her answers made it clear that she'd 'figured it out' and was interested in learning about the technical side of how things got done...... What I did at that point was to tell her that yes, she could ask me whatever she wanted, but only in our hotel room so she didn't spoil the magic by accident for any other kids. She really felt good about that and felt like she was helping to keep other kids having a good time, like she was sharing the Magic of the characters that she'd enjoyed for so long.