Advice needed for anyone who has children close in age

[Colleen A.]

Could someone PLEASE help me before I lock my 2 oldest kids in a room and wait to see which one comes out alive?!! They are 18 months apart in age, a year apart in school. The fighting and arguments are driving me nuts!! They are both basically good kids, but if you put them in the same room anymore....LOOK OUT! It's not like one of them is starting the disagreements...they seem to take turns. It's hard in school because they are on the 6/7 split team....the same set of teachers teach both grades at different times. The classrooms are in the same wing of the school so they see each other during the change of classes. These disagreements are now spreading through their friends....Kirk's friends call Jeana a "freak" and Jeana's friends call Kirk names! I am at my wits end!!
Can anyone offer any advice that could very well spare a life??

 

[Miss Jasmine]

If you find out let me know. My kids are even closer in age, a difference of only 14 months. Actually I figured out sometimes they do it for attention and if I ignore them they'll stop. It's not any fun if someone is not trying to interfere. Other times I just can't deal with it and they get sent to their rooms or an even worse punishment, one has to come help me do whatever it is that I am doing at that time. When they are alone they give me nothing to complain about, but together, watch out.

 

[mhopset]

Beat'em

 

[Christine]

My kids are 3.5 years apart and it is a rare moment that they are NOT fighting. I'm not sure age makes a difference! Sorry, no suggestions, just sympathy.

 

[tc]

My girls are 20 months a part, and are best of friends, and always have been. I don't think it's age related as much as personality differences. Sorry, no advice here. They'll grow up soon, really!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have 2 dds, 12 & 6. They are 5 yrs apart. They fight all the time. The 12yo smarts off to the 6yo and so in turn she kicks her. It is going to be a long summer.
I think they are just so darn competitive for their own good.

The only I advice I can offer is to have them do lots of housecleaning. That stops it here.

 

[binny]

My girls are 11 months apart and they ( so far) are the best of friends.

I think it is largely a matter of personality. You have an added problem in that one is a girl and one is a boy. I think THAT is a major difference. Boys have cooties at 7 and girls are just gross as far as my ds ( 8) is concerned

I think that is a going to happen for a little while. Sorry Im not more optimistic lol.


Just wait until youre dd has friends that have crushes on your ds that ought to be really fun

 

[RUDisney]

Get them to volunteer with younger underprivileged kids. That should be an eye-opener to them about how good they really have it.

Our kids are 14 mos. apart and hardly ever fight. BUT, they were born in Russia and lived for 11 months in an orphanage prior to becoming ours.

Last night I was watching An Adoption Story on Discovery and the parents were saying how lucky they are, but everyone tells them that the kids are lucky. My DS wanted to know who was luckier. He firmly believes that it is he and his sister. We think it is us.

They understand that as of last year, they would have been separated into different orphanages and may have never seen each other again if they didn't find us. They are grateful every day that they have a better life here.

Maybe your kids just need a cold dose of some of the unfortunate circumstances others live in to help them treasure each other and what they have?

This worked for my brother when he was in HS. He travelled with 11 other boys and chaperones to Mexico City to work in an orphanage there for 5 weeks. He came home with a much greater appreciation for his life and his family after that experience.

 

[Colleen A.]

We already have that "crush" thing going on! DD's bestfriend Jessica has a crush on Kirk...and she is VERY vocal about it!! Kirk is not interested in her one bit and being male, is not very tactful in handling this! (no offense to all you guys out there!) Does make for some uncomfortable situations, like when she wants to sleep over!

Anyway, up til pretty recently, Kirk and Jeana WERE the best of friends. Usually, they would exclude the youngest! Just can't win some days.

 

[JESW]

Welcome to my world! As others have said, I don't believe that age is the factor in fighting. My two are 4 years apart and they are usally after one another. DD4 is often the instigator. She misses DS8 when he's at school and when he comes home she wants to play and he wants to be left alone.

We just bought a mini van and one MAJOR requirment was that it had bucket seats in the second row so they would not be right on top of one another. Somehow they still manage to touch each other...

I know some day we will look back on all this and laugh, but it's not fun when you are right in the middle of it. And summer vacation is just around the corner.

Give us strnegth!!

Jill

 

[Kissimmee JP]

Two kitchen chairs, duct tape and a bullwhip should take care of the problem.

 

[mrsmom]

I too live in your world, i have four kids almost 17and 5 and 10 and 9 those two are 22 months apart and fight like yours, they do the same at school, i am at my wits end trying to figure away to keep them from doing this all summer.
But even my 17yr old and 5yr old fights with all of them. so this will be a interesting summer.
mrsmom

 

[wdwnutze]

I don't think closeness in age has much to do with it. I have 3 children-ds 19, dd 10, dd 4. They all fight like cats and dogs. They miss the 19yo when he is away at school but they fight with him when he is home. I think it has more to do with their personality than age. It will definately be a long summer aroud here! No advice to offer but I do have lots of sympathy!

 

[Bildmouse]

This too shall pass - I never thought my two oldest DS's (17 months apart) would live through their teen years without killing each other. They are now 33 and almost 32 and good friends (most of the time). That's probably not much help right now but it really does get better.

 

[ColoradoBuffaloMom]

Boy can I relate to this. My kids are also 18 months apart and in 6th and 7th grade. My daughter who is 13 in 7th grade is pretty mature but expects my son to be perfect. My son who is 12 and in 6th grade measures his worth by how many friends he has which is a lot. my daughter has a few friends but is very close with them whereas my son has many friends but just a few are close. He knows exactly how to push my daughter's buttons and she tries hard not to respond but at times just has had enough.

They do pretty well at school together and actually like talking about the other kids at home. At home they fight a fair amount. I try hard to stay out of it but at times it is hard. I agree with a previous poster that sometimes they just want an audience which is me. I keep thinking it has got to get better.

At times my kids are the best of friends and at other times I think that they are never going to get along. ugh

Elise

 

[Jillpie]

I think I got ya'll beat. My two sons are 10 months apart!! I thought I would die when I found out I was prego 10 years ago, but its turned out they are best friends. It is their 14 year old oldest brother that can be the problem, bossing them both around. But otherwise, they are very close. I do wish you lots of luck though!!!

 

[Kteacher]

I have 6 brothers and sisters-we are all about a year apart (some a little more, some alittle less ) My next younger sister and I fought until we were teens, then it eased up a little bit. We are now adults and best friends. My own kids are spread out a little bit in ages (16 1/2, 13, almost 11) but they still fight occassionally, although the oldest has pretty much grown out of it. It's hard when you're going through it, but it does get better.

 

[Kitty 34]

Two of my sons are 22 months apart and they fight ALL the time and they're 14 and 16!! Good luck to you!