Advice-how to get Hubby more excited

[PHXscuba]

MY DH likes being at Disneyland but finds no joy in the details of planning like many DIS spouses (isn't that why we're all here?) I've learned we're both happier if I do most of the planning/scheming on my own and consult him if it's a big decision. We talk about length of time and a general budget, then I go off on my own until the trip get close. It's often more of a veto situation: "I'm planning to book XYZ unless you don't want to." He's more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person but recognizes that I'm not, and doing anything with 4 kids requires some planning to get anything accomplished.

PHXscuba

 

[JeannieNM]

We travel a lot as family all over the world... I plan, my husband carries the luggage, works out well for us.

PS DH hates Disney and I have been taking DD alone since she was a toddler and I'm a paraplegic mom, we've had no problems. DD is almost 17 now. So don't hesitate to leave him at home. Your children will have many opportunities to do things that one parent likes and the other doesn't. I am happy to take DD to Disney and DH is happy to take her backpacking, neither of us wants to join the other.

Have fun!

 

[DizMe]

Get yourself a nice little Minnie Mouse costume and model it for him. That ought to trigger some excitement for the trip.

 

[LisainCalifornia]

Get yourself a nice little Minnie Mouse costume and model it for him. That ought to trigger some excitement for the trip.

 

[mgrace79]

Get yourself a nice little Minnie Mouse costume and model it for him. That ought to trigger some excitement for the trip.

Hahaha. Awesome! Either that or he'll think I've gone of the deep end and enjoy it either way.

 

[lurpee]

Sorry if I duplicate anyone but here's how it's gone with my DH...His first and only trip to Disneyland was our senior year of high school. I had a cracked ankle and we ended up waiting for my family at the entrance for three hours before they showed up at the rendezvous point--major miscommunication. Our next trip to an amusement park was Great America and he tweaked his back on the first ride. A year later we were in San Antonio and pulled up to Fiesta Texas to an empty parking lot--Griswald Family Vacation style. So he opted to not go when I went in Dec '06. Now we have DD4 and DD (8 mos) and a family reunion to attend there as well as an agreement shortly after our first DD was born that we would do her fifth birthday at DL (Christmas Eve). Well his time has come!

So, after my long ramblings here is what I am doing to assist him (he doesn't like crowds and will miss two weeks of Jiu-Jitsu--he's not happy). We got a hotel across from the park so we don't have to do transportation and can take afternoon naps easily, I just told him this info, didn't ask his opinion because I know as long as certain criteria is met, it's good. I'm going to have a Von's grocery delivery so basic snacks are covered--his faves. I'm making reservations on the busiest nights so we have dinner options. I'm also studying the FastPass system, touring plans and plotting our early entries. He doesn't know it but I'm making him a t-shirt as well as DD4 that have Mickey passing Donald's guard--he will love having a Disney BJJ shirt as they both do BJJ.

I also arranged for Mouse Expeditions to hold a spot for either Fantasmic or WOC on the night of the 16th with our family and hired ME for the entire day of the 23rd to be our FP runner and guide to ensure a productive day!

I plan on letting him go back to the hotel when needed. I can just sit on a curb for hours there and be super happy! Good luck! Once he gets there he'll be into it!
Kerri

 

[ethanwa]

I'm a husband and father myself, and although I'm probably one of the biggest Disney Geeks alive (there is a picture of my in the latest D23 magazine), I wasn't always this way. Here's some friendly advice.

I didn't actually go to a Disney park as an adult until I had a one-year-old and a three-year-old and I was 29 at the time. Before I had kids, the last time I ever cared about anything Disney was when I was about 14 and went to WDW with my family. I'll admit, when we were planning our first trip as a family I was excited, which is different than many of your husbands, but that doesn't mean they can't change.

1. Book at a time of low crowds and good weather. Start off in a comfortable and good mood. If you go to 90+ degrees with 99% humidity and huge crowds, just quit trying right now because it will be a lost cause. Even moms get frustrated with that kind of weather.

2. Find a character or collectable they can relate to. Do they remember watching Disney as a kid? Which shows or movies? Find something special related to that and give it to them as a gift on the first day of your trip. It can be pins, a nice piece of art, a t-shirt, or some other clothing item that doesn't scream Disney. Many men, including many of my married friends, can't let go or get out of their box enough to enjoy it all, so find something that can be put in the box with them.

3. Rides. Find something that they like riding on. It will make it more fun for them. Splash mountain, roller coasters, etc. This is hard with little kids though.

4. Food is a good way to get to a mans heart. Find a place that has good meat and he'll want to come back to Disney just to eat there again.

5. TALK to your husband AFTER you get to Disney about how you can be a kid again. Tell him to look around at other guys who can let go and have fun. Tell him that adults HIS AGE created all of this and it's OK to open up and just have fun... it's the only place in the world where everyone can be a kid and no one cares! Trying to explain this BEFORE you get there will be pointless, trust me. He will resist until he gets into the rides and crowds first. And just because you are a male who likes Disney doesn't mean you are gay!

6. Finally, be sure to stress how important this is to your kids. That your kids will remember this when they grow up, and that you want them to have a Dad that had fun WITH them, not just tagged along because he felt obligated to.

Very few Dads get into it as much as I do but don't let that stop you. Somewhere inside his heart is a kid somewhere still, I promise you.

Ethan

 

[ducky_love]

I never thought my DH liked Disney trips. I plan for months and he gives me no feedback. Like yours when I ask him questions he won't help and gets annoyed fast.

When he gets there he has a great time. I navigate the crowds and have ADRs and surprises lined up. But I still thought it was something he did for me. He never takes photos or wants anything to take back. So imagine my shock when he asked to go to DL for his bday this year!!

I laid it all out because I was worried that he was picking his vacation based on my favorite place and he said the sweetest thing. That he loves the vacations that I plan for him. I never thought about it but I'm a planner no matter where we go and he shows up and enjoys! Disney planning is epic for me and he is blown away by what I include. He loves being surprised so we both get to do our favorite thing!! He never knew I thought he was humoring me.

So maybe he isn't excited to plan but will have a great vacation? My hubby doesn't like crowds either so we just plan around them! Good luck!!

 

[mgrace79]

Thank you thank you everyone that has replied my hubby thinks I'm going overboard planning so far in advance. Silly boy! If u want to do the good stuff and have less of a wait I gotta make plans! And i cant help it, I'm truly excited!!! Oh well. I'm trying to do it mainly when he's not here as to not annoy him or feel that I'm ignoring him when he's home. DH works nights so that helps! Lol.

 

[momsquad]

My situation is very similar to the others in this thread - I LOVE all the planning, checking the DIS boards regularly, etc. DH could really care less!

One point that took a few years for us to realize - the more animated I got with excitment, planning, and trying to include him, thinking that would make him feel better about it - was actually having the opposite effect!

My excitment put pressure on him since he didn't "feel" it, which in turn made him begrudge the trip and me more and more.

Now we simply accept the other person's ways. I over indulge, he grunts. The kids and I can go from rope drop to throw us out of the park at night. He's good for about 6 hours. He returns to the hotel - happy. We keep playing - happy.

He doesn't bleed Disney magic like I do. Once I accepted he wasn't going to get to my level, he felt less pressure to fake it and finally expressed that he simply enjoys us because we're excited. He doesn't want to go back to the hotel because he's grumpy - but because he enjoys sports center more than Mickey.

I accept that - and as a result the kids and I have gone on several trips without him. All happy!

 

[Brian Noble]

Hubby was okay with it but the more I "plan" and try to discuss with him he gets annoyed and states he's not looking forward to it.

Then stop discussing it with him, and just do your thing. When you get there, it will look like you are having a great time with no effort. Everyone will be happy.

 

[todzwife]

DH tries to cancel our trip EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. Thankfully, I don't book anything until it's all paid for so he can't get out of it. I don't discuss any of the planning with him either. It just makes him tune out. I do 100% of the budget and planning, he just has to come. When my kids get older, if he doesn't want to come, I'll go without him but for now, I need his extra set of eyes/arms, PLUS I want the kids to remember him being there!

I totally feel for you all!

 

[CourtFool]

I wonder if any of you ladies can help me out with a similar question. How do I get my wife more excited about football? I mean, I love it. The pre-game, the half-time reports. I plan the food and having all our friends over. She just sits there like a bump on a log.

 

[Mary09]

She sits there? You couldn't pay me to.

 

[sonnyjane]

I wonder if any of you ladies can help me out with a similar question. How do I get my wife more excited about football? I mean, I love it. The pre-game, the half-time reports. I plan the food and having all our friends over. She just sits there like a bump on a log.

Lol.

 

[NStramler]

I wonder if any of you ladies can help me out with a similar question. How do I get my wife more excited about football? I mean, I love it. The pre-game, the half-time reports. I plan the food and having all our friends over. She just sits there like a bump on a log.

Me either.. .football is not even comparable to Disneyland...

Do you cook the food and clean up? Your friends... your party.... she needs to wise up and not sit there but leave and go spend at least the amount you did on the food on something fun.. like gift cards she can use at Disneyland!!!

 

[mgrace79]

I wonder if any of you ladies can help me out with a similar question. How do I get my wife more excited about football? I mean, I love it. The pre-game, the half-time reports. I plan the food and having all our friends over. She just sits there like a bump on a log.

I'm lucky dh is a baseball motocross fan which I like too. So sports is never an issue in our home! Give her props for at least watching it with you!

 

[mellers]

I wonder if any of you ladies can help me out with a similar question. How do I get my wife more excited about football? I mean, I love it. The pre-game, the half-time reports. I plan the food and having all our friends over. She just sits there like a bump on a log.

That's easy. Play football with your son (or daughter). Your wife will get excited about it in no time.

 

[Satchmo128]

MY DH likes being at Disneyland but finds no joy in the details of planning like many DIS spouses (isn't that why we're all here?) I've learned we're both happier if I do most of the planning/scheming on my own and consult him if it's a big decision. We talk about length of time and a general budget, then I go off on my own until the trip get close. It's often more of a veto situation: "I'm planning to book XYZ unless you don't want to." He's more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person but recognizes that I'm not, and doing anything with 4 kids requires some planning to get anything accomplished.

PHXscuba

YES. We are the same as you and your DH! The only difference is that we don't have 4 kids

 

[lurpee]

So I posted on this in 2012 and should have come back and posted two years ago but kind of got the post-Disneyland Blues. I'm planning a trip in one year and I did a search for "BJJ", and came across my own post from 2012. So I thought I would follow up in case anyone else ever does a search for reluctant SO.

We did an EPIC 10 days in Disneyland December 15th - 25th, 2012. DH is not all about the groups/crowds and we were not only in DL during a busy season, but for the first part of it we were doing a family reunion.

DH had a better time than he expected. DH loves Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and food. We had tons of reservations and when we wouldn't be able to go, we would call and cancel a few hours before the reservation, and sometimes we wouldn't have a reservation but would be able to get a reservation at the last minute (within two hours of eating).

DH enjoyed having our pics taken and especially interacting with the characters. Utilizing the FP's was great. His favoite things at DL were Carthay Circle for dinner Christmas Eve, our two meals at Blue Bayou, breakfast with Minnie (he loved the character interaction there), our daughter's birthday lunch at Ariel's Grotto, the Holiday Tour, and some of the rides more than others.

He mainly did half days with us and he was able to train BJJ at another gym a couple of times and love it. He also got In N Out Burger and apparently with everything combined, he had a pretty great time.

So by making sure that we were able to eat a lot of great meals and not making a big deal about times he might not want to be there, it worked out really well for the entire family. We also stayed across from the entrance and that was helpful.

Good luck to anyone who has this worry.