Advice for combined Family Vacations

[californiamomof4grls]

Hello friends! We leave in about 24 days on our family vacation with our best friends and their children. Just to give you an idea of how this breaks down Dh me and our 5 girls Dd 13 Dd 11 Dd 9 Dd7 and Dd 3. Our BFF's Dh and Dw there two daughters our God daughters Dd 5 and Dd 3. This is their first family vacation ever and first time to Disney for Dw and kids. Our kids all get along really well as do we with our friends. But as with all vacations where you combine families, I know that there are things I'm probably not considering. I'm looking for any insight anyone else on the boards might have on this particular subject. Do's and don'ts? If only I had... In hind sight... Thank you as always for any advice you may have!!!

 

[AndreAggie]

You didn't say how long you're going to be on vacation, but I would make a special point to set aside certain times (before you go on the vacation) that your family will <insert some activity such as dinner, DTD, etc> on your own. This way it's laid out ahead of time and nobody can get offended when the idea is presented while on vacation. Each family will need some time apart if you're going to be on this vacation for a while. Heck, I even enjoy time away from my husband while on vacation...usually spa or pool time.

 

[crystal1313]

I agree with the PP. I would also talk to them ahead of time and see if their morning schedule will be similar to yours, i.e., you are rope drop people, they are not, etc. If you aren't on the same schedule, I would just say we go into the parks around this time. I will text you when we get there, or vice versa.

Also, I would think about making a tentative touring plan, because with that many people, I see a lot of standing around debating what to go to next.

We've gone on several trips with extended family and we always take breaks from one another. We realized they aren't morning people and we are. So we stopped waiting for them and told them to text us when they arrive. We would meet up for meals or shows occasionally too. By the end of the trip we were spending more time apart. We weren't annoyed, but had different agendas. Our kids like the E ticket rides and there's did not, etc. We were able to have fun and not be annoyed with one another which was great! Have a fun trip!!

**we also had the app find your friends on out iphones that was really useful too. We would see where everyone was at and text if there were near us, etc.

 

[whoever]

THe biggest issue we've experienced is who wants to ride what, when. That and they only had Disneyland tickets, not hoppers, so they couldn't come with us through DCA to the Grand to rest (they were staying offsite)

 

[tamiandryan]

We have vacationed to DLR with family and friends multiple times. It is always a good time!

Sounds like you are more experienced with the parks than they are, so it may be a good idea to lay out some kind of touring plan or itinerary (like previous posters also mentioned). I have found that if I announce my expectations and agendas up front there are no surprises, and if they have different plans it can be worked out. There is nothing wrong with splitting up for a chunks of time to what you or they are interested in.

It is also kind of nice to each take a turn with all the kids so the parents can get a little break for a few.

In the end, realize it's not a 3rd world country you're vacationing in, and that there are cell phones to call or text on to meet up. Have some kind of game plan so you are not brainstorming what to do and wasting valuable park time. Be okay with separating now and again. And most of all, have fun!!

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

We go the same week as some friends of ours every Nov. We are both families of 6 which similar age children, so it all works pretty well.

My biggest piece of advice is sit down prior to the trip and find out what each family wants to do/is in the budget. Is there a character meal that one wants to do? Does the other family? Is everybody the get up and go type people? What is the plan when your older children want to do some of the coasters, since only one of their children is likely tall enough for them (if they even want to go). Does either family want their own time?

Like I said, we travel with this other family, but we go into it, when it works to be together we are and when it doesn't, it doesn't - no hurt feelings. Sometimes we want to different meals or one of us needs down time with our younger children. However we have traveled with another family that has kids younger than mine and it just didn't work - both of us wanted "our" way, but they were upset by the idea of splitting up during those times. I think if the expectations are out there, it will all go smoother. Enjoy your trip!

 

[sandysue]

Don't forget about money. Are you doing restaurant meals together? Are both families on the same budget? If one family is planning on hungry bear and packing in snacks and you want goofy's kitchen, it should be discussed.
Best time we had with the cousins was at the hotel pool, and it gave nap time for the younger ones.

 

[Moonwolf]

My extended family likes to travel around together a lot. I agree with everyone that communication with the other family about wants, expectations and spending habits is important.

I think the first big question is how close you want to tour with each other. Will you just meet up for a ride and/or meal or two or do you want to do most of thing things together. It can work that you spend the entire time together but that involves a lot of communication and compromising between the families. And it has to be what both families want.

Some important things to talk about are:
-Park times: Sleeping in, rope drop, late nights, nap times, bedtimes.
-Splitting up: and not just by family (which is also important to know if they or you want to do some family alone time) Are you will to split up by taking one set of kids to one ride while the others do something else with the other adults or will the parents want to stay with their kids the entire time.
-Ride types: is there anyone who won't want to ride a certain type of ride. One family's must ride attraction may not be on the list for the other family.
-Meals: counter service, sit down, or bringing your own food. Do you want to eat all your meals together or do you just want to do one a day
-Snacks (and souvenirs): One family gets ice cream then the kids of the other family will want some as well but it might not be in their budget. Or one family gives their kids $50 for souvenirs while the other only gives $20. Neither family is right or wrong but by knowing that one won't have the money for an extra treat you can get it while your touring alone and save the awkward moment and kids tears, or you can manage your kids expectations better so they won't be upset if their friend can get the bigger toy. (and I'm not saying you have to know each family wants to spend x amount. But just knowing if they or you are going all out or don't want to be spending to much extra can go a long way)

 

[Cheshirecatty]

We've traveled to the Resort several times with friends, and with family, and were lucky enough to have everything work out beautifully!

Like all the PP have suggested, keep a bit of time for just your family, make sure everyone's expectations are discussed beforehand, have a tentative/flexible plan, know what everyone's morning schedules are likely to be(we have found this to be the biggest issue in a large group), etc.

We have such great memories of our travels with other families!

Good Luck!

 

[F16_mama]

My extended family likes to travel around together a lot. I agree with everyone that communication with the other family about wants, expectations and spending habits is important.

I think the first big question is how close you want to tour with each other. Will you just meet up for a ride and/or meal or two or do you want to do most of thing things together. It can work that you spend the entire time together but that involves a lot of communication and compromising between the families. And it has to be what both families want.

Some important things to talk about are:
-Park times: Sleeping in, rope drop, late nights, nap times, bedtimes.
-Splitting up: and not just by family (which is also important to know if they or you want to do some family alone time) Are you will to split up by taking one set of kids to one ride while the others do something else with the other adults or will the parents want to stay with their kids the entire time.
-Ride types: is there anyone who won't want to ride a certain type of ride. One family's must ride attraction may not be on the list for the other family.
-Meals: counter service, sit down, or bringing your own food. Do you want to eat all your meals together or do you just want to do one a day
-Snacks (and souvenirs): One family gets ice cream then the kids of the other family will want some as well but it might not be in their budget. Or one family gives their kids $50 for souvenirs while the other only gives $20. Neither family is right or wrong but by knowing that one won't have the money for an extra treat you can get it while your touring alone and save the awkward moment and kids tears, or you can manage your kids expectations better so they won't be upset if their friend can get the bigger toy. (and I'm not saying you have to know each family wants to spend x amount. But just knowing if they or you are going all out or don't want to be spending to much extra can go a long way)

The advice on snacks/souvenirs offered above^^ is spot on. IMO, if you have a lot of kids together, working that out beforehand is essential. If the souvenir budgets are on totally different spectrums, then fine, but shopping with the kids separately might be best so the kids with the smaller budget don't feel bad. Same with food. My kids are limited in their sugar intake (we do get treats at DL, but not a lot), so if one family is going to constantly buy their kids sugary snacks, I may take my kids on a ride while they have one of them so I don't have to listen to mine whine about how mean I am.

 

[crystal1313]

Totally agree on the treats thing! We usually limit to one treat a day at the parks. My BIL has a huge sweet tooth and he kept buying treats in front of my kids who would then whine and ask for one too! It got to be quite frustrating! I had to put my foot down as I was afraid my kids would get a stomach ache....and they understood. But it made things difficult to say the least.

 

[Fuhnuh]

We (DH, DW, DD13 have made two trips to DLR and one to WDW with our friends (DH, DW, DS9) over the last 3 1/2 years with much success. The first trip to DLR, we spent a good part of a day at each park with our friends as they hadn't been since they were kids. I wanted to make sure they knew the layout of the parks and were familiar with the fast pass system first. After the first two days, we spent at least 2-3 hours apart doing our own thing. Usually, we would tour together at rope drop and then split when we wanted to head to different areas of the park. Sharing breakfast and dinner but splitting up for most lunches for midday touring seemed to work fairly well. We did need time apart just because we have different eating habits and different priorities as what to ride. I'm sure some time apart helped us get along better also.
I think Moonwolf's list is well thought out and covers most, if not all, of what has worked for us.

 

[californiamomof4grls]

Wow, Guys really insightful!! thank you for taking the time to give your insight! All very good points! Our friends are coming over tonight for dinner so I think we are going to have to have a conversation. Just to see what their expectations are and what mine are. We will be in the park for 5 days and 6 nights at our hotel. We are staying at the same hotel maybe a joining rooms. our kids and families are really close and she is like a sister to me. She and help each other a lot so for instance while I'm doing hair and getting girls dressed she will start feeding our kids breakfast breakfast. That's how we flow together. But I can imagine during 6 days together we may need time apart too!

 

[Cheshirecatty]

I think your trip with good friends sounds like so much fun---I hope you have a wonderful time! It's such a blessing having friends you just "click" with.(By the way---love your girls' names! We have a Cecily too, and I wish she was still 8!!!)

 

[californiamomof4grls]

I think your trip with good friends sounds like so much fun---I hope you have a wonderful time! It's such a blessing having friends you just "click" with.(By the way---love your girls' names! We have a Cecily too, and I wish she was still 8!!!)

Aww thanks!!
You have a Cecily too!! Really?! We have not met another Cecily ever! Can I ask where you came up with the name?

Our friends came over for dinner last night and we had really good "Disney" conversations! We hammered out a lot of detail about the trip that hadn't been talked about yet. I think my friend was worried she was putting too much on me, as far as planning goes. But be the planner that I am I'm totally fine with being the only planner! we made a bunch of lists and talked about expectations and finances. I simply asked are you the kind of vacationers that whip out the Visa card constantly? Seeing as how they've never gone they were unsure. So we talked about budgets and gift cards for the kids spending money. Of course once we get there it could all change! LOL! But I've started the conversation and laid out my expectations. Everyone seemed very appreciative and receptive. We are even going to caravan up together. Oh did I forget to say it's a surprise for our kids that we are going together?! I'm so excited! Thanks again for your input it was greatly appreciated by all!

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

One thing I noticed is the ages of the kids. You might want to set aside some time on one or more days where the older kids branch off and do the 'big' attractions with one or two adults, and then you can concentrate on some of the attractions for the little ones. This could be done after dinner, or between lunch and dinner.

It sounds like a wonderful vacation coming up.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

This is our Thread of the Week for this Thursday, 5/8!

http://www.disunplugged.com/category/disneyland-podcast-episodes/

 

[momof4fans]

Both times that we've been it's been with friends. A different set each time. The first time was good, but awkward sometimes. My older kids wanted to do everything there was to do but their DD (in between my boys ages) hardly wanted to do anything. She would hardly ride anything. I started wondering why they would even go. So much for having a friend at Disneyland. Of course we didn't let that stop us, but we definitely were on different pages most of the time.

The second time we went we talked some friends from Montana into going. We had the best time ever! They drove to our house then we drove together the next morning. The wife and their dd rode with me and my 2 dd's. My husband and my 2 ds's rode with her husband and ds. It's a 7-8 hour drive from my house. We had a great time catching up. The girls watched movies. The men talked about hunting. It was very enjoyable.

Then we were together for 5 days at DLR. I had kept them up to date on everything I was planning by email. I always told her to give me her input any time. She finally told me she hated planning stuff and was grateful I was doing it all and whatever I planned was fine with them. Perfect for the control freak that I am!

When were in the parks I stressed to them to go have their time as a family if they wanted to. We wouldn't be hurt at all. They wanted to be with us. Their ds was totally attached to my boys. It was so cute. He looked up to them so much. And my little girls were totally attached to their dd. We had such a blast! We are trying to talk them into going in 2015. Even after all that time together, we rode back the same way we came. I guess they're easy going and so are we.

The best part was our kids (with the exception of my youngest dd5 because she was too short to do some stuff) loved doing everything together. And they did every single ride as many times as possible. I was so glad that their kids were adventurous like ours. That's a big part of it.

There is something so magical about sharing Disneyland with people. You'll have great time.

 

[californiamomof4grls]

We spent yesterday at the mall together shopping for our trips! She said the same things she's fine if I just plan it all and they're ready to experience it for the first time with pros! I don't know that I'd call myself a pro but ok!

We plan on using fast passes and rider swap for the "big rides" and taking the little ones on rides for them while the bigs and Dad ride. But as a family we don't separate much. The bigs love the all the same rides as the littles. So we stick together. We are on a family vacation and with a family of 7 I have a motto a family that plays together stays together. Plus my bigs get really bummed if something "magical" happens and they're not with us. with the extra set of littles we are planning on taking the bigs back into the park late in the evening since the park is open until 11.
Thanks again for all of the help. I can't wait to hear the podcast! When does that go up?