Advice and Pixie dust please

[jjk]

Hi all,

feeling a bit nervous about a family event tomorrow and could do with some advive and Pixie dust

My sister is inviting both sides of her family to a meal at the local Beefeater to celebrate my Nephews first Birthday.

the Problem I have is that my Mum will be attending and she hasnt spoken to or seen me or the boys for about 8/9 years her choice Ive no real idea why, I stopped doing all the chasing and she has never bothered to come and see us.

I have agreed to go for my Sister, but I really am so nervous and have no idea what Im going to say or do ( I cant say what id like to as it isnt fair on my sis )

Im also very worried as my boys all have their own opinions and might put their foot in it

please send us some Pixi dust thanks for listening

ps I shall be having several very large drinks with X factor tommorow when its all over

 

[disney_princess_85]

Is a heart-to-heart out of the question? It is Christmas after all. If not, all I can advise is to stay civil. Have a word with your boys beforehand, no-one wants a showdown at the local Beefeater. Good luck!

 

[natalielongstaff]

i would just say hello to her with a smile and then leave it up to her good luck xx

 

[mandymouse]

Lots of hugs and luck for tomorrow Rachel, I wish I had some good advice for you, but I have an awkward family too, and it drives me nuts trying to get them to get on, so I have just given up

I hope it goes well hun

 

[Pinky166]

Oh Rachel, I know exactly how you feel. I have the same issue with my brother, I saw him last week at my nephews birthday & he just blanked me when I said hello. Also have the same situation with dh's mum, she stopped talking to us about 3 years ago for no reason.

The only advise I have is to say hello when you first get there & if she talks to you then just be civil, if she ignores you then just let her get on with it. I would also ask your boys to do the same for the sake of your sister & nephew. Also you may find that it's one big long table.......sit at the opposite end, thats what i've done in the past.

Good luck hun.

 

[karentan]

havent really got any advice but and pixie dust from me

 

[katiec]

I really sympathise with you.

I have exactly the same issue with my one of my sisters - there are 4 of us, but 1 is completely different from the rest of us.
We hadnt spoken for years (she ran off to the Far east abandoning her kids a few years ago) but it all came to a head a couple of months ago when my dad was v poorly in the hospital.

I made sure I was ALWAYS polite and civil (even if inside all I wanted to was punch her lights out!!) - if she didnt want to do the same at least I could hold my head high every day, knowing that i would only vent my anger at home and not around the rest of the family. It was soo hard sitting in the relatives room having to be nice, but the public face you present doesnt have to be the way you really feel.
My poor DH took a lot of hassle from me that week, but he knew why and the main thing was my mum was never upset.

My advice would be that it would be best to polite and civil, make sure that no-one could critise you for your behaviour, and when you go to bed, that you can sleep easy knowing you have done your best.

Good luck and lots of

 

[darthtatty]

some great advice there, good luck

 

[irongirlof12]

 

[buzz for boys]

We have the same issue with our family and many a family event has seen us leave early for the sake of keeping the peace!!
What I always try and do is keep as much distance between me and my mother as humanly possible - to the extent of not even being able to see her if we sit at a table I take the opposit eend on the same side!!
The only thing that always goes wrong in my experience is when she trys to be nice to my kids - makes my blood boil that she could be so false for public view and at that point I always get a really blinding headache and politely make an exit !!

I wish you luck hun and hope that you manage to get through it without too much stress.
Louise x

 

[Muscateer]

Oh I know how it feels too. Families eh? Hope it all goes well and have a few large stiff drinks to get you through. It might turn out ok.

 

[T16GEM]

hope everything goes well for you today, families are so awkward aren't they

 

[The Fetherstons]

Thinking of you all today Rachel hope all goes well

 

[PoppyAnna]

Can't believe I missed this Rachel.

Hope its going well

 

[saratogagirl]

I hope all has gone well Rach - families !!!1

 

[CustardTart]

Is it over yet, Rachel? Hope all went well...

 

[mandymouse]

I hope it went well today Rachel

 

[jjk]

thank you all

its all over and Im exhausted, it went quite well,I spoke breifly to My Mum,after a very shaky start and she said she would keep in touch but we shall see.

the boys were brilliant and I was very proud of them, MY sister and my lovely Nephew had a fab time so thats all good

I am off to raid the fridge now for a bottle of wine and some Giant chocolate buttons and get my pj,s on in time for X factor

 

[Pinky166]

Glad to hear it went well Rachel. I was thinking about you this afternoon.

Enjoy your wine & buttons.

 

[natalielongstaff]

glad it went ok Rachel