Adult Only Wedding Receptions

[shoney]

Our wedding was adults only back in 1992. (I know my parents wedding was also adults only back in the 60's) We used 18 and over as the cut off.

My ds14 has been to 2 weddings and ds12 has been to 1:

1. my uncle's second marriage. Originally kids were not invited. A person on her side put a big stink about it and they were invited with their baby. My uncle then said..."well then kids on my side are invited too". My oldest was 7 and we took him with us. He was exhausted and we couldn't wait for cake to be served so we could leave! We left his little brother home with my cousin...should have left both of them!!! This was a large formal event. The ceremony was at 6:30 at the reception hall followed by the cocktail hour, then 4 hour reception.

2. they were both invited to my SIL's second marriage. It was during the day and not the standard formal event. 100 people at a restaurant private room for buffet lunch....no cocktail hour, no dj, etc...



Most of the weddings I have attended have been adults only.

I really don't know anyone personally who has had an issue with it.

 

[cookingqueen]

At my wedding we had adults only- except for the little girl who I had taken care of for 6 years and then I had a few teen cousins.

I think it is perfectly acceptable to pick and choose which children are invited- immediately family/close family may be invited - or not. They may want a few children, but not a million children- the parents may or may not watch their kids, utter chaos etc. Maybe the bride and groom want it to be about them, not a bunch of kids taking up the dance floor and then there is no room for the adults to have fun!!

That's how I feel- and I have children. I never expect them to be invited and would never be upset if/when they aren't- its not about me. I can always decide not to go.

 

[kate_wdw]

But there is a difference between the Philadelphia area and the NYC area (where the PP resides). It's like the divide between North Jersey and South Jersey - close in distance, but two different worlds.

If you only wanted to hear from people from the NYC area, you should have specified that. There obviously are geographic norms. Based on your question, I thought you wanted you wanted to learn more about norms in different areas.

 

[Hrhpd]

I just decline all wedding invites that don't include my daughter.

I am just curious (seriously), but is this for all "adult" invites or just weddings?

Our neighborhood hosts holiday block party (progressive dinner) that we have been having since the development was built. It is well attended by 95% of the block each year.

In the 22 years we have been having it, only one family has turned it down due to the fact that their 6, 4 and 2 year olds couldn't come. It was their first year in the neighborhood (long story.)

I am now wondering if we should have a babysitter in one of the basements for the new crop of parents that are moving in that aren't as comfortable with adult only parties. We definitely don't want any of the neighbors feeling like they couldn't come.

 

[saltooni]

I had an adults only reception. The only children invited were my nieces and nephews, but they were in the wedding. Otherwise, no other children. I like to think that any of my friends with kids enjoyed their alone time that night. Maybe they didn't. But I had the reception I wanted. No regrets.

Same here. Now I have to say that my family is HUGE and some of my cousins have 4-5 kids each, If I added children, the number attending would go up by another 100.

 

[mjkacmom]

If you only wanted to hear from people from the NYC area, you should have specified that. There obviously are geographic norms. Based on your question, I thought you wanted you wanted to learn more about norms in different areas.

I quoted aprilgai2's post, as she is from Long Island, and usually states on these threads that she does not attend weddings without her daughter. My question was directed at her personally, since she lives in an area where most weddings are adult only. That's why I quoted her.

 

[scrapquitler]

Where are all of these weddings with children in attendance? I've been to weddings in NJ, NYC, LI, and - no kids! No punch and cake, though.

By the time I was a teenager, I had been to dozens of wakes and funerals (grandparents were all from large families). No weddings, though

Same here! I was in college and my aunt (who is 4 years older than I am and more like a sister) got married and I was her maid of honor...and I had no idea what the maid of honor was supposed to do because I had never been to a wedding! But I had been to every funeral that happened in the family while I was growing up.

 

[aprilgail2]

I quoted aprilgai2's post, as she is from Long Island, and usually states on these threads that she does not attend weddings without her daughter. My question was directed at her personally, since she lives in an area where most weddings are adult only. That's why I quoted her.

Almost every wedding I am invited to include my daughter-we have flown to florida for a wedding but most are here on Long Island. Last year 2 neighbors were married and she was invited to both of them (along with other kids). She wasn't invited to one in PA and one in upstate NY but I didn't go to either of them. I think I feel stronger about not going to the weddings out of state family weddings though. I don't want to go and take "family pictures" at a wedding when my family is not there.

I am just curious (seriously), but is this for all "adult" invites or just weddings?

Our neighborhood hosts holiday block party (progressive dinner) that we have been having since the development was built. It is well attended by 95% of the block each year.

In the 22 years we have been having it, only one family has turned it down due to the fact that their 6, 4 and 2 year olds couldn't come. It was their first year in the neighborhood (long story.)

I am now wondering if we should have a babysitter in one of the basements for the new crop of parents that are moving in that aren't as comfortable with adult only parties. We definitely don't want any of the neighbors feeling like they couldn't come.

For me it depends- if it is a party in another state then no, I was not leaving my child home with a babysitter overnight. I go to a friends party every year for the holidays and don't bring her but then for New Years Eve she is always invited to the neighbors new years eve party with me. We have gone every year since she was 1 other than last year when she bailed on me to go away skiing with friends LOL. I would NOT expect a person to have a babysitter on the premises though just because I don't want to go without my kid...that's my problem not the person having the party.

 

[Kae]

I am now wondering if we should have a babysitter in one of the basements for the new crop of parents that are moving in that aren't as comfortable with adult only parties. We definitely don't want any of the neighbors feeling like they couldn't come.

We my kids were younger we did lots of cooking/progressive dinners with a group. the kids ranged from 4 to 11 and we would put the kids at one of the families house & get a couple of sitters. It worked great.

Kae