Adult Only Wedding Receptions

[bbak3030]

My husband was asked to stand in his cousins wedding, which is out of town (2 hours away). The grooms sister told me a couple of months ago that it was going to be adults only. I said that surprised me since the bride has children and all of the siblings do as well. She then went on to say that their kids were invited.
Is this a normal thing? The only adult only weddings I have been invited to were for couples who don't have kids and I understood that. However, I feel like there are going to be quite a few kids at this wedding. Which just makes me wonder why them and not mine?

Of course we are still going and won't bring the kids, I just found it to be kind of odd. Any thoughts?

 

[maxiesmom]

My thoughts are it is their wedding, they get to make the rules. It is a little odd, but it is their choice to make.

 

[Mousemommy1]

My husband was asked to stand in his cousins wedding, which is out of town (2 hours away). The grooms sister told me a couple of months ago that it was going to be adults only. I said that surprised me since the bride has children and all of the siblings do as well. She then went on to say that their kids were invited.
Is this a normal thing? The only adult only weddings I have been invited to were for couples who don't have kids and I understood that. However, I feel like there are going to be quite a few kids at this wedding. Which just makes me wonder why them and not mine?

Of course we are still going and won't bring the kids, I just found it to be kind of odd. Any thoughts?

Last summer, DH's Best Friend got married. DH and our girls were in the wedding (DH's best friend is their godfather). But it was an adult only reception, so after the wedding, we had to have friends come pick up the girls (over an hour away) and the girls slept over there for the night.

So, yes, I do believe it happens a lot, but boy is it a pain when the kids are in the actual wedding...

 

[PollyannaMom]

Last summer, DH's Best Friend got married. DH and our girls were in the wedding (DH's best friend is their godfather). But it was an adult only reception, so after the wedding, we had to have friends come pick up the girls (over an hour away) and the girls slept over there for the night.

So, yes, I do believe it happens a lot, but boy is it a pain when the kids are in the actual wedding...

Yep, I've been in that boat, too - only we had to drive DS in the other direction to Grandma's and be late for the reception.

For me personally, I just don't get it. I always loved seeing little kids at weddings, and I wanted my whole family at mine. But I do understand that everyone thinks in their own way.

I have skipped one wedding because children were not invited. It involved major travel, and I was not prepared to
a) exclude one member of the family from that kind of trip, since we wouldn't likely be able to afford it again,
b) impose on relatives to take in a small child for a whole week, or
c) be half a world away from my child at the young age he was at the time.

I politely declined the invitation, but I do think the bride was kind of miffed with me for quite a long time.

 

[bbak3030]

I totally believe in their right to have the kind of wedding they want. I think it just bothers me because I really think there will be SEVERAL kids there, but I'm forced to leave mine behind for the weekend. If you want adults only, that's fine. But make it adults only so I don't have to watch a bunch of kids run around all weekend.

 

[Disney Doll]

The bridal couple gets to have whatever kind of wedding they want.
The invited guests get to accept or decline, as they so desire.
The bridal couple does not get to be miffed if the kind of wedding they want makes it difficult for some of the guests to attend.
By the same token, the guests don't get to dictate the wedding.

 

[3Gsandme]

My cousin is getting married in two weeks. It's an adult only reception. My children have been personally invited. My eldest daughter (13) is an attendant. My cousin, his fiancée and my family are very close so they got a personal invite.

The Fiancée was hoping to limit some unruly children, which is her choice.

 

[msjprincess]

I totally believe in their right to have the kind of wedding they want. I think it just bothers me because I really think there will be SEVERAL kids there, but I'm forced to leave mine behind for the weekend. If you want adults only, that's fine. But make it adults only so I don't have to watch a bunch of kids run around all weekend.

Unless I'm misunderstanding your OP it sounds like the only kids will be the nieces and nephews of the couple. Almost every wedding I've attended has been that way. The only kids were kids in the wedding party and very close relatives like nieces and nephews. So I don't find it odd at all.

Like others have said, it's their wedding.

 

[bbak3030]

Alright then. I stand corrected. Didn't realize it was normal to exclude some children and not others. Thanks everyone.

 

[Hrhpd]

My husband was asked to stand in his cousins wedding, which is out of town (2 hours away). The grooms sister told me a couple of months ago that it was going to be adults only. I said that surprised me since the bride has children and all of the siblings do as well. She then went on to say that their kids were invited.
Is this a normal thing? The only adult only weddings I have been invited to were for couples who don't have kids and I understood that. However, I feel like there are going to be quite a few kids at this wedding. Which just makes me wonder why them and not mine?

Of course we are still going and won't bring the kids, I just found it to be kind of odd. Any thoughts?

Their wedding, their choices.

If one doesn't like the way the bride and groom have planned their wedding, they are welcome to stay home.

And no, I don't think it odd. There are many very good reasons children are excluded at weddings.

 

[Hrhpd]

Unless I'm misunderstanding your OP it sounds like the only kids will be the nieces and nephews of the couple. Almost every wedding I've attended has been that way. The only kids were kids in the wedding party and very close relatives like nieces and nephews. So I don't find it odd at all.

Like others have said, it's their wedding.

 

[okeydokey]

It seems that children in the immediate family are invited, but relations further than that are not. Weddings are expensive so I can see drawing this line. Their wedding, their choice.

 

[marcyinPA]

I had an adults only reception. The only children invited were my nieces and nephews, but they were in the wedding. Otherwise, no other children. I like to think that any of my friends with kids enjoyed their alone time that night. Maybe they didn't. But I had the reception I wanted. No regrets.

 

[cheer25mom]

People do it all the time. Their wedding, they get to decide. I personally don't care for it. I would rather see everyone in the family included in the celebration of the start of a brand new family. My husband's cousin's wedding is the only one I have ever been invited to that said adults only, and it caused a lot of friction and hurt feelings. She allowed absolutely no kids whatsoever and wanted none in her wedding. Her sister still brings up 10 years later that her kids were the only immediate family members not welcome. The bride who excluded children thinks differently now that she has her own and wishes she hadn't made such an issue of it.

 

[Pigeon]

The bridal couple gets to have whatever kind of wedding they want.
The invited guests get to accept or decline, as they so desire.
The bridal couple does not get to be miffed if the kind of wedding they want makes it difficult for some of the guests to attend.
By the same token, the guests don't get to dictate the wedding.

I agree completely. We decline these invitations and wish the couple well.

 

[Robbi]

When my husband and I got married, my son from my first marriage was there as well as 1 of my husband's nieces. My son and this girl who was his age were together all the time. Some in my husband's family were miffed but if we had invited all of them-most my son had only met once or twice, there would have been an extra 12 kids. My SILs told me they were happy to have a date night with their husbands and no kids.

 

[dminnie]

I know quite often they would love to have kids, but the cost gets to be just too much, so only close kids (or none) get invited. Many venues will charge per person or only have space for so many people and it can get difficult in that way.

(the one where the child was IN the wedding does sound a bit odd to me though. Usually anyone IN a wedding has a place of honor at the reception and wouldn't be excluded from it. I guess every wedding is different depending on the circumstances.)

 

[khertz]

We had an adults only reception for our wedding a few years ago. I have a lot of young cousins, so they were all incorporated into the wedding and I told their parents personally that they were allowed at the reception. I didn't want everyone to bring their kids, but my cousins were important for me to have there. And before anyone thinks I was being a bridezilla and not including kids from DH's side of the family, there were none!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

The only kids invited to my wedding were my nieces and nephews and DH's niece and nephews...13 kids right there (not all came). Those are the kids that are close to us. If we extended it out to our cousins' kids, etc, we might as well have had our reception at Chuck E Cheese.

By the same token, I've been invited to weddings where my kids were not invited. Didn't phase me a bit. I was frustrated when we were invited to my cousin's wedding 200 miles away and my kids weren't invited, but absolutely NOT because I felt they should have been; I desperately wanted to go to the wedding and didn't know what I was going to do with the kids, but in the end, one of my nieces babysat for them in the hotel. The bride's nieces and nephew were in the wedding, made a brief appearance at the reception and then were taken home. If we had not been able to make arrangements for our kids, then we would have sent a gift and wished the couple well, and never harbor an ounce of ill will towards them.

Sometimes I think people look for things to get offended about.

 

[MrsDuck]

As others have stated, their wedding, it's their decision. That doesn't mean you have to go, though!