Adult Children & Keys to Your House

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My parents have seen DH a bunch of times in his boxers, because he chooses to walk around in them (got caught in them by our plumber). No open concept here, if I’m on the first floor I’m covered, as were my parents. With 5 kids there were alway people coming and going here. Heck, there were kids sleeping over all of the time and I didn’t even know about it until the next day (so most of their friends have seen me in my pajamas, sans bra). My parents lived 1/4 mile away so this is just how we lived. My parents’ neighbors would just walk into their house too.

I don't wear a bra at home and would much rather it be on if I've got friends and family over so give me some notice before you walk right in. Boxers are no different to many than swimming trunks (albeit they may be thinner in material) or athletic shorts for that matter. My husband would def. prefer to be fully clothed if his parents came over but at least the boxers provide something. Naked is naked and unless you're up for that with your parents, with your kid's friends, etc. it's a bit different. Sounds like you kept the open door policy you were cool with in mind and made sure if you're on X level of home you're not completely naked. My home is a place of privacy for me, it's a place of privacy for my in-laws too. Everyone is always welcomed but a heads up is how we handle it. If mother-in-law wants to walk around naked that's her choice, we'll give a heads up in advance out of respect for her wishes of what she does in her own home

 

[RedAngie]

Do your adult children, who no longer live with you, have keys to your house? Do they stop by when you are not home?

Well, both DDs had keys when they lived here and I never asked for them back when they moved out.

Both are welcome at any time, even when I’m not at home. But they always call/text first.

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't wear a bra at home and would much rather it be on if I've got friends and family over so give me some notice before you walk right in. Boxers are no different to many than swimming trunks (albeit they may be thinner in material) or athletic shorts for that matter. My husband would def. prefer to be fully clothed if his parents came over but at least the boxers provide something. Naked is naked and unless you're up for that with your parents, with your kid's friends, etc. it's a bit different. Sounds like you kept the open door policy you were cool with in mind and made sure if you're on X level of home you're not completely naked. My home is a place of privacy for me, it's a place of privacy for my in-laws too. Everyone is always welcomed but a heads up is how we handle it. If mother-in-law wants to walk around naked that's her choice, we'll give a heads up in advance out of respect for her wishes of what she does in her own home

No naked on the first floor ever, and we don’t even have a master bathroom, so kids’ friends might see us upstairs in towels.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

No naked on the first floor ever, and we don’t even have a master bathroom, so kids’ friends might see us upstairs in towels.

Well then there's your answer But I'm sure you can understand in homes where people consider it as a whole a private space (or most of it) and thus would like to be able to kinda do their own thing in their own homes..for you your private space may just simply be smaller than others is all

 

[Darcy03231]

Our door has a push button lock and all the kids have the code. No one ever comes over without texting or calling first. Kids are always welcome, even if we're not home. Since we live on a lake we tend to get a lot of company in the warm weather months.

 

[RUDisney]

After being married for almost 27 years, my MIL told me she wants to make sure I get a key to her house. We deliver food to her every Sunday, so she is trying to make it more convenient for us.

I have a key to my parents' house and they have a key to mine. My kids will have a key as long as they don't abuse it.

When we were first married both sides of our parents had keys, but my MIL abused the privilege and we changed the locks. I don't mind when my parents drop something off and leave it on our table, but they don't snoop through my house. My MIL would give the key to my SILs and they would snoop while they were over. I could tell because things were out of place and I know how we leave things.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

This just really surprises me because, like someone said above, what if they are naked? Or otherwise not ready for company? When our kids lived at home and were going in and out we were always prepared for them to come in the door. We policed ourselves so we wouldn't be caught in an awkward situation. Now, we live with the expectation of privacy and don't worry about those things. I could be wandering out to get something from the laundry room in my underwear. We don't always shut doors to the bathrooms and bedrooms. One of us, or worse both of us, could be in the shower. How incredibly awkward.

Maybe these people all live in two story houses or places where there are private wings to the house? My house is small and pretty open concept. I can't imagine inviting people to just walk in unless I had a heads up they were coming.

If I lived next door to family, I'd continue to live in a way that could always be interrupted indefinitely. Otherwise I expect some notice. I can't imagine keeping that level of privacy going on the random chance someone might stop in.

I think when you have that “open door policy” type home you don’t do those things because you know people pop over. My grandparents were like this. They had 6 daughters and lots of grandkids. The door was never locked. We came and went as we pleased. As did close friends in the neighborhood. They loved it. Especially my grandfather.

As for my friend who told her Kids to call first before coming over in case they are naked, that’s only if they are home. So if a kid pulls up and both cars are there they should knock or shoot a text before walking in. Their kids stop by often when they’re at work with no call or text. They just use their key. Sometimes it’s to pick up mail or packages, to eat lunch if they’re in the area during their break (one son is a cop), to walk their dogs if they are working late, etc.

 

[Keli]

I'm very close to my parents and have always freely accessed their home as if I never moved out. All of my siblings do as well as all of my parent's grown grandchildren. My daughter lives down the street from them and she and her husband freely go into their home.
On the flip side, my parents never come to my home when I'm not here. I'm sure I gave them a key 20 years ago when I moved in but I doubt they could find it if they needed it after all this time. My daughter and son in law have keys to my home and they come in when we aren't here and we have keys to their home and do the same. Usually to drop something off or check on the house when they are out of town. We don't ever go over there to just hang out. I know they have some sort of home security camera that alerts them when I go in so they know when I'm there.
My inlaws live a little further away and we don't have keys to their house and they don't have keys to ours.

 

[Wendy31]

DH & I have keys to our parents’ houses - he has a key to both my parents’ house & his mom’s house, & I have the same.

However, my MIL would probably prefer I didn’t have a key & doesn’t remember she gave me one. And, she now locks her storm doors which are a different key than the other doors, & she hasn’t given us a key to the storm door so it doesn’t matter anyway. However, she says she’s given us a storm door key - She wasn’t home on Christmas Day when we brought her present, & the storm doors were locked. DH called to see when she’d be home & she’d told him that he had a key & could go on in. He told her we didn’t have a key to the storm door, & she replied, “Oh, I thought I gave you one.” No, she didn’t.

Even w/ keys though (MIL’s storm door notwithstanding), we don’t go over to either house & just make ourselves at home if they’re not there.

If we know they’re at home, we ring the doorbell first.

If they’re not at home, we never go over to just hang out or whatever; we’re usually dropping something by or bringing in the mail when they’re out of town. When my parents go out of town, we usually leave some sort of fun surprise for them. If the kids are w/ us, they may grab a snack at my parents’ house. When my father-in-law was alive, we would go over every now & then on Sunday evenings, &, sometimes, they wouldn’t yet be home from church. We’d go ahead & let ourselves in & wait on them.

My parents also have a key to our house & will feed our cats while we’re out of town & also always leave some sort of fun surprise for us. We’ve given my MIL a key, but she doesn’t know where it is & would never come over to our house w/o us being here anyway.

Our kids will always have keys to our house.

 

[GreatLakes]

I'm the adult kid and I do have a key to my mom's house.

I had one to my grandma's while she was at home as well.

 

[mrodgers]

Do your adult children, who no longer live with you, have keys to your house? Do they stop by when you are not home?

Divorced so they don't live with me, nor do we have a custody agreement as they were well into high school when we divorced. One adult but still in college (local) so she use to stop several times a day during her breaks for lunch or to do homework instead of in the student union at school. Then she would stop after her last class when I got off work. I miss that now that she has been remote since that all started.

The other has a key, but has not gotten her driver's license yet so she can't come here without me or someone bringing her.

Ex and I are now friends. We both have keys to each other's place. She is welcome to come here when the weather is bad in the winter as she works in town and lives in the middle of nowhere. No reason for her to drive at midnight home taking a chance in 12 inches of snow when they won't be clearing the roads until the next morning for school buses. She also loses power often during bad weather so I'll text her and tell her to just come in to my place along with the girls if they are home while I'm at work as they can use the shower here even if I lose power (they have a well.)

Edit: Since I noticed some other posts, no one just pops in even if I am home. They always text me to let me know because after work I just drop the pants off and may be sitting in my underwear watching TV.

 

[prairie_girl]

I have a key for my parents house but would never go there if they weren’t home unless they knew about it first.

I realized just now that my daughter doesn’t have keys for our place but we’re in an apartment and someone is always around. She would have no reason to be here if no one was home.