Adult bullies

[Erin1700]

I swear that is what I am dealing with!

I watch kids in my home. My policy is you never pay for days that I cancel and since most of my kids are part time, I offer makeup days. If you want them, fine, if not, you do not pay for them. I also do not charge for holidays.

Besides my 2 weeks vacation that is known well in advance, I really never take any days off.

So this one dad continues to argue with me that he should get 5 sick days for his kid. His reason is that he works on comission so if he takes off and then has to pay me too, he is really loosing money. He claims other day cares offer this and I know that some might but most do not.

The mom hides behind the dad on everything. She says "You know how he is!"

My answer is I am sorry that is not my policy.

The answer I want to give is that he chose that job and really it is not my problem to cater to just them. And on the days he drops the kid off he sits here for a half hour being a complete bother!!! Why is he not worried about the money he is loosing sitting here??

Any advice on this one??

 

[marlynnp]

losing.

I'd give him 2 weeks notice.

 

[anniemae]

That's a tough one, but I think you are doing the right thing by sticking to your guns. You simply cannot bend the rules for one parent and policy is policy. I would just keep saying "I'm sorry but that is our policy." Did he sign any sort of contract? If so, you can point out that the policy is clearly outlined in the contract he signed.

NOw if you want to change the policy, thats fine, but it has to be fair for everyone and not just one parent. I think his argument is silly, you dont have different rules for different parents based on their job. When they sign up for your services, they should be aware of the payment, policies etc.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I swear that is what I am dealing with!

I watch kids in my home. My policy is you never pay for days that I cancel and since most of my kids are part time, I offer makeup days. If you want them, fine, if not, you do not pay for them. I also do not charge for holidays.

Besides my 2 weeks vacation that is known well in advance, I really never take any days off.

So this one dad continues to argue with me that he should get 5 sick days for his kid. His reason is that he works on comission so if he takes off and then has to pay me too, he is really loosing money. He claims other day cares offer this and I know that some might but most do not.

The mom hides behind the dad on everything. She says "You know how he is!"

My answer is I am sorry that is not my policy.

The answer I want to give is that he chose that job and really it is not my problem to cater to just them. And on the days he drops the kid off he sits here for a half hour being a complete bother!!! Why is he not worried about the money he is loosing sitting here??

Any advice on this one??

They agreed to your policy when they accepted you as their child's caregiver. If they feel they can no longer follow said policy, they should find a different provider. It's not up to you to bend the rules for someone like that.

Maybe if he put as much energy into his sales that he puts into complaining about spending money on his child's babysitter, maybe he'd make more money??

 

[hentob]

I swear that is what I am dealing with!

I watch kids in my home. My policy is you never pay for days that I cancel and since most of my kids are part time, I offer makeup days. If you want them, fine, if not, you do not pay for them. I also do not charge for holidays.

Besides my 2 weeks vacation that is known well in advance, I really never take any days off.

So this one dad continues to argue with me that he should get 5 sick days for his kid. His reason is that he works on comission so if he takes off and then has to pay me too, he is really loosing money. He claims other day cares offer this and I know that some might but most do not.

The mom hides behind the dad on everything. She says "You know how he is!"

My answer is I am sorry that is not my policy.

The answer I want to give is that he chose that job and really it is not my problem to cater to just them. And on the days he drops the kid off he sits here for a half hour being a complete bother!!! Why is he not worried about the money he is loosing sitting here??

Any advice on this one??

The joy of having your own business is you do NOT have to put up with argumentative, pompous jerks like this.

I agree with marlynnp, time to give them their 2 week notice. Wish them luck on finding a daycare that will adhere to Daddy’s way of thinking.

You will fill your slot in no time.

 

[bicker]

If he's on commission, then it makes sense that he considers everything to be negotiable, and he's negotiating with you by insisting you shape your policies to fit his needs. You have three choices:

1) Accept his counter-offer.

2) Reject his counter-offer, and tell him that your stated policy stands as originally outlined.

3) Propose a counter-offer of your own, somewhere in between.

You can do any of these three; they're all valid choices. He can't make you choose the one he wants you to choose.

 

[RitaZ.]

I swear that is what I am dealing with!

I watch kids in my home. My policy is you never pay for days that I cancel and since most of my kids are part time, I offer makeup days. If you want them, fine, if not, you do not pay for them. I also do not charge for holidays.

Besides my 2 weeks vacation that is known well in advance, I really never take any days off.

So this one dad continues to argue with me that he should get 5 sick days for his kid. His reason is that he works on comission so if he takes off and then has to pay me too, he is really loosing money. He claims other day cares offer this and I know that some might but most do not.

The mom hides behind the dad on everything. She says "You know how he is!"

My answer is I am sorry that is not my policy.

The answer I want to give is that he chose that job and really it is not my problem to cater to just them. And on the days he drops the kid off he sits here for a half hour being a complete bother!!! Why is he not worried about the money he is loosing sitting here??

Any advice on this one??

Continue to remind him about your policy. If he keeps badgering you, tell him that he may be happier going to one of the programs that offers what he is looking for.

Why don't you ask him if he gives away the product that he sells when buyers pressure him?

 

[Sugardimples]

Here's what I would do.

Tell them one more time "This is my policy. If you do not want to adhere to it you are welcome to withdraw your child and find another provider. We will not have this conversation again. If you bring it up again we will terminate our relationship".

And then do it.

It is a pet peeve of mine when we defend a bully by saying "you know how he is". I have a brother who is like this and is defended by his wife and daughters. "Why are you upset? You know how he is" is their defense. They truly believe that he is wonderful but that everyone else needs to make accomodations for his bullying tactics. I think it is enabling his behavior and as a result we are estranged.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Do you have them sign an agreement when you start watching the kid? If so I would say you knew this when you signed the paperwork. If not I would have all parents sign a contract stating exactly what you just said becasue it sounds fair and sounds like babysitters we have had before.

 

[Kim♥DISNEY]

I have dealt with adults like this and the best thing you can do is stand up to them. You may love their child and/or don't want to lose the business, however, is it worth your time and hassle? And standing up to him, sends a statement to others that you won't tolerate this. Trust me, parents talk and if you would allow this, other parents will demand this too.

I personally would set up a private meeting with him and his wife and pretty much layout your policy again verbally and then put it in writing. And I would end it with, "If you can't agree to my policy, then it is time for us to part ways since this business agreement is not working for either of us."

My cousin owns a dog grooming business and has a client like this. She is a VERY kind person and accommodates all her clients to the best of her abilities. She has very low prices and a large clientele.

Anyway, one day she had a woman BEG her to groom her dog on a Saturday without an appointment, it was a family "emergency" since they were having family in, yada yada yada ... After my cousin finally gives in, she told the dog owner, I close my shop at 4:00 and you MUST be here at 3:30 to pick up your dog. And, you guessed it, she didn't show up at 3:30. Her husband calls to say he is suppose to pick the dog up and was running a little late and would be there at 4:00!

Well, my cousin lost it. She called the woman on her cell phone and said, "This business arrangement is not working out for me. This is the last time I will be grooming your dog." The woman mysteriously arrived at her shop in 10 minutes with gift cards as a tip begging her not to drop her as a client.

This was so out of character for my cousin and she said it taught her a great lesson. That her business is valuable and she doesn't need to put up with this type of aggravation. She said she felt "free". (She said she ended up keeping the client, however, she picks her dog up on time AND never calls up to beg for an appointment any more.)

As much as this mom stands in the back when her husband is questioning your agreement, you might find out that at home she will not put up with her child losing a place in your child care.

 

[Frantasmic]

There is a fine line between bullies and salespeople who don't take no for an answer.

He's convinced he can "sell" you on his idea. You have to convince him once and for all that he can't.

Your services are "for sale" a week at a time, not daily, not hourly, but a week. That's your commodity. He sells a commodity, a "unit" of some sort. Ask him what his response would be if someone asked to buy "a partial unit' of his or wanted a refund because they didn't use all of what he had to sell.

Take it down to his terms.

 

[bicker]

Indeed, or just tell him that that level of service is available for a 20% higher price.

 

[disneychic2]

KimDisney said it best I think!
Good luck!

 

[Erin1700]

Thanks everyone! To be honest I do have someone who wants 2 of the days so if I give notice then I dont have to look far.

The thing is the kid is really never sick. She is one of those kids who is always here. They had a relative watching her before I got her and I should have known better to take her I guess. There was a reason that situation went sour!

This guy really has a ME ME ME attitude. I would like for him to tell his mortgage that he does not want to pay for the house on days he is not home!

 

[design_mom]

For what it's worth, I have never found a formal daycare facility that didn't make you pay if your child was sick. Some gave you a certain number of "vacation days," but those usually have to be scheduled in advance. It sounds like your absence policy is already very generous.

 

[Ceila]

Stick to your guns!! If you give in, you will always regret it and harbor feelings of resentment toward the parents. If you hold firm you'll be so much happier.

I really like the PP's suggestion of sitting them down one last time to go over your policy and telling them if they ever bring it up again you will drop them as clients.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

I agree with the PP who suggested that he is trying to use his salesman tactics to negotiate. You need to stick to your terms and not give in to him. Just tell him that if he cannot agree to your rules he needs to find alternative child care.

We have a relative that owns a successful business and is just like the guy you are describing. He will not take no for an answer and will keep pestering you trying to break you down. The worst thing is he has trained his son to be the same way, so we have to deal with a little kid that is always trying to push his way over on you. It has gotten to the point I hate being around them and I don't want my kids to be around the little boy either. My kids may not grow up to be good salespeople, but in my house when I say NO that is my final answer!!

 

[robinb]

For what it's worth, I have never found a formal daycare facility that didn't make you pay if your child was sick. Some gave you a certain number of "vacation days," but those usually have to be scheduled in advance. It sounds like your absence policy is already very generous.

I was going to say the same thing. Heck, the preschool that my DD went to didn't even have "vacation" days. If you took vacation during the regular school year you paid for that time anyway.

 

[dis-happy]

Why can't the mom stay home with the child when there's a sick day?

It's only the dad complaining about his commission job, right? Doesn't the mom get any sick days that she can use?




PS. If the dad is hanging around like that I'd totally give them notice.....

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Thanks everyone! To be honest I do have someone who wants 2 of the days so if I give notice then I dont have to look far.

The thing is the kid is really never sick. She is one of those kids who is always here. They had a relative watching her before I got her and I should have known better to take her I guess. There was a reason that situation went sour!

This guy really has a ME ME ME attitude. I would like for him to tell his mortgage that he does not want to pay for the house on days he is not home!

I just read this thread, and like others have said, I too would give them a notice. There are some people that no matter what you do, you will not make them happy and after reading this post, this dad sounds like one of them. Also since a family member stopped keeping the child., there may have been other reasons there that you don't know about.

I would fill his spot with the child that you know about and move on. It's not worth stressing over, besides I have never heard of a daycare ever doing that. Ever! That man needs a reality check. Once he starts looking at other daycare facilities, he will get one.