Adoption Updates

[damom2daboyz]

Good news, I spoke with my cousin, whom recently finalized her adoption of her oldest daughter from foster care. She has gave me a name of a well respected agency in Lexington. I have been on the website reading here and there as time has alotted and I think this may be the one! She did give me very helpful hints about being careful about the agencies, time constraints, setbacks, etc.

I don't get to speak with my cousin often but she herself has ridden the adoption rollercoaster with the rest of you, even down to the very last court visit, waiting to see if bio Mom would show, before she was allowed to have Jessie forever! In the meantime of the wait, she also underwent invitro fertilization and became pregnant with Abby. Her DH was sent to Iraq shortly after the birth of Abby and when he returned last November, my cousin found out she was pregnant!! She delivered another wonderful girl at the end of July '06! So, she is now the proud momma to 3 little girls all under the age of 3 years!! Talk about being blessed!

The only negative I can see with adopting thru foster care or domestic is going thru the process of wondering if Mom/Dad will want to take their baby back. I don't believe my heart can take that. I can withstand paper work delays better.

Debbie

 

[RayaniFoxmur]

I know this will maybe seem out of place but...

Thank you.

Thank you for being adoptive parents!

I'm a birth mother who just gave her daughter away on September 3rd (She was born August 30th). I just couldn't give her the life she wanted... and I was very uncomfortable relying on welfare. Because of wonderful people such as yourselves you'll be able to give children lives some of their parents can only dream of.

Thank you

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Debbie, welcome to the roller coaster! I don't post here that often, but I'm mom to a terrific 3yo dd adopted domestically at birth.

We had her for 12 weeks (Colorado) before her birthparents rights were terminated, and yes, it was difficult wondering whether one of them might decide to parent after we'd already had her in our arms. If you do decide to go domestic (but not foster care), please know that most of the time, when a birthparent has a change of heart like that, it occurs in the hospital, before the adoptive parents have taken the baby home. Not that that wouldn't be difficult as well, but for us at least, it wasn't hard to keep from thinking of the baby as "ours" before we met her.

One bit of advice I have for you is to make sure you know the laws of your state, and that of the birthparents, if different. Make sure you know exactly how long the wait is before the birthparents' rights can be terminated, exactly what needs to be done, and that your agency tells you when it happens. Knowledge is power and IMO it makes it easier if you know exactly what is going on and when you can stop worrying. I don't know Kentucky law, but in some states, a birthparent's rights can be terminated only a few days after the birth.

Good luck!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Rayani,

Thank you for those kind words. It doesn't seem out of place at all to me, but honestly, maybe a little backwards . As an adoptive mom, I think I should be the one thanking you!

I know it has to be extremely hard to place your child for adoption, and I'm amazed at the love you are showing for your baby, to come here and post this while you are probably grieving your own loss.

Thank you.

 

[laurie31]

I know this will maybe seem out of place but...

Thank you.

Thank you for being adoptive parents!

I'm a birth mother who just gave her daughter away on September 3rd (She was born August 30th). I just couldn't give her the life she wanted... and I was very uncomfortable relying on welfare. Because of wonderful people such as yourselves you'll be able to give children lives some of their parents can only dream of.

Thank you

Please don't say you gave your daughter away. You made a loving plan for her, you chose what was best for her. That makes you an awesome person.

Just like my birthmom

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

Just wanted to update:

Kiara is turning 2 mos old on the 19th. We are going to Guatemala Nov 6 - Nov 9 to visit with her. Can't wait to see my baby! We are dressing her up in a Halloween Costume, Christmas Dress, AND a thanksgiving outfit. She is going to look so cute!

 

[mamajoan]

I know this will maybe seem out of place but...

Thank you.

Thank you for being adoptive parents!

I'm a birth mother who just gave her daughter away on September 3rd (She was born August 30th). I just couldn't give her the life she wanted... and I was very uncomfortable relying on welfare. Because of wonderful people such as yourselves you'll be able to give children lives some of their parents can only dream of.

Thank you

my dear one.... remember you did not give your child away...... you gave her TO a family, to a good life.
You are loved and so is your child.

 

[mamajoan]

for those of you considering adopting a child that is in the foster care system.. PLease do look into it!!!!! I am a huge proponent of Adopting children who are in the public system.

if you are nervous about biological parent, you can request a child who's parents parental rights are already terminated. This is a final termination process meaning the bioparents have no connection whatever to that particular child. In most cases the parents are to never see that child again.... sad but true.

There are many, many, many kids in the system that are available for adoption. Yes they have needs... some emotional, some physical.. but to be honest no child comes with a guarantee. If you think that you have what it takes to parent a child like this... give your county adoption agency a call. Most offer/require classes for potential fos-dopt parents.

 

[kdibattista]

Hi everyone!!!!

So sorry I haven't checked in. It's been crazy around here.

We were all set to have our stuff done by the end of year (and are still on target) BUT we now have an alternative that is exciting but scary. The country of Kyrgzystan is moving forward with international adoptions (it actually sits right under Kazakhstan and was also formerly part of the Soviet Union). There have only been 7 adoptions in 2004/2005 and a few this year.

The paperwork/processing/procedures are very similar to Kaz (actually, you process out of Almaty, Kaz ) so we would not really be doing much extra work. It is a quicker, more US friendly program and the travel is a bit better than Kaz. I have personally talked to 2 families who have traveled this year and they have been very pleased with the process. They are in the process of changing from the goverment level to a regional court level and they think that will make the process even smoother.

Downside... it's SUCH a leap of faith. I'm an overplanner and the newness of this all makes me very apprehensive but I am so excited that we could be the pioneer family for our agency to do this. I have also been doing a lot of thinking career wise and am hopeful to get into the adoption field somehow (maybe a coordinator). I think going with Kyrgz could definitely give me an edge with employment. I think this could be the next big country, especially with the problems in Kaz & Guatemala, and the wait increase in China.

Ugg... DH and I have a lot of talking to do

 

[RUDisney]

Kim, some things happen for a reason. Whatever you and your DH decide will be the right decision for both of you.

I'm curious on how many adoptive parents become part of the "process" so to speak after they've BTDT. My DH is now on the board of our adoption agency. He became our agencies' banker during our adoption and when we got home, he was asked to sit on the board.

I remember feeling weird about calling other people for their recommendations before we went to Russia, and with our agency. Then, when we were home with our family, I didn't mind talking to anyone who was thinking about doing the same thing.

 

[DVCJEN]

Anyone have any news or updates to share??

 

[haymorlog1]

Our dossier has been in Thailand for 1 month now-all the paperwork is finally done We are just waiting on the approval from the Thai adoption board to travel and pick up our prince who will be 2 in December. We are so hoping to have him home by Christmas or right after the first of the year.

Melanie

 

[DVCJEN]

That's wonderful Melanie! I hope the time flies by until he arrives.
I don't know much about the Thailand program. What has your time frame been?

 

[haymorlog1]

We began filling out home study/adoption agency applications in May and our first visit was the day after Memorial Day. So from June-September we finished up our homestudy, applied for and received passports, USCIS fingerprints and got his visa approval, medical appointments, and filled out piles of paperwork to assemble the dossier. Our dossier was authenticated at the state and federal level and was even seen by the Thai Embassy in Washington DC. It was sent over on 9-22-06. We now wait for his medical/social history to be done and translated. Then we are presented to the Thai DSDW (adoption board), approved, and again more translation-then we are invited to travel-approx 7 days in-country.

Melanie

 

[damom2daboyz]

We are a little slower...I'm still a little out of kilter switching from working straight night shift to working straight day shift. My DH will be coming back in town to work in a couple of weeks and will be easier to schedule the home study while he is in closer proximity. There will be an introduction seminar at A Helping Hand in Lexington on Nov 13 that I plan on attending with my DH. We are ready to submit our application and get started with the chase. I'm excited and nervous. With more and more research in the last 2 weeks and having the opportunity to talk to couples in person, my DH and I have decided to go with China. I'm scared to death, afraid of being turned down by the Chinese Consulate, afraid of all the silly unknowns (like when we will travel), but I really can't wait to hold a little girl of our own in my arms. The way that things are looking on the other boards I frequent there has been bad news about Guatemala and horror stories about unspecified declination of applications by China. Please remember us in your thoughts and wish us well!

If anyone has any helpful hints to ease my soul, then please let me know!!

Thanks!
Debbie

 

[scarlett873]

Kim...how exciting!! Can't wait to hear what you decide!

We're on our way folks!! We've decided on our agency...i'm making contact regarding our homestudy...and we're about to be knee deep paperchasing our way to China!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!

Debbie...I wouldn't worry too, too much about the rumors flying about regarding China. I know that the wait is going to be long...but I have faith. I just know that's where my daughter is...

Dorissa Fay..we're coming!!! Slowly but surely...lol...

 

[scarlett873]

Wow..I've killed the thread...lol

We have our first homestudy meeting tomorrow!! Woo!!! After that's done, we'll be spending the rest of the weekend frantically cleaning the house for the remainder of the visits...I'm kinda nervous about the whole thing...but I know that it'll all be fine in the end!!

I know another batch of referrals for China came out yesterday! And the January group is now out of the review room! Do we have anyone here affected by those?

 

[damom2daboyz]

Scarlett, it's wonderful news about starting your home study. I'm already nervous about ours even though I know it's just me being nervous. My Dad said I have to be a nervous nelly over everything and it's true.

I'm thrilled for all of those receiving their referrals this month; I can only imagine the excitement.

I have my seminar on Nov. 13th and will offically begin the paper chasing. We have done so much research on various agencies and no matter what, I just keep coming back to the same one. My DH insisted I do thorough research (have been doing so for the last month and he had already signed AHH's application a long time ago) and I still ended up with A Helping Hand, now, I just hope they accept us. My poor DH is still out of town 4-5 days a week and being at the top of the responsibility ladder he is not going to be able to go to the seminar with me, so, my DCousin will be attending in his place.

Onward and forward...

 

[scarlett873]

I hear you about choosing the agency! We had initially had our minds made up about our agency, but after cooling off and doing some real comparisions over the last year, we actually went with a different agency! I think it's such a personal decision as there are so many agencies out there. It really comes down to what you are most comfortable with!

I'm trying like mad to pull our stuff together within record time so that we can get our dossier off as soon as the homestudy is done and we receive the 171H back!

 

[damom2daboyz]

I have received numerous applications from adoption agenices and have worked through all the requirements for the applications. Ok, now, tonight, I'm surfing the net and found this website for an agency that required the family to earn 60,000 and have 10,000 in savings. We make decent money and our income meets the guidline posted by our agency but nowhere does it say we have to have a certain amount in savings. Does anyone know if most agencies have a specific savings requirement? Our net worth is positive based on our agency's worksheet (and what their website states is a requirement) but just seeing this has sent me into a worldwind fit. I know I'm probably just looking for something to worry about but I would like to hear others comments.

Thanks!

Debbie