Adoption Anyone?? (Update - see P4 #57)

[cindrelly31]

I would like to use this board as a communication for the process in which my DH of 10yrs & I are about to embark on.

We decided many years ago to have a child. Having seen ALL our close friends and many family members have a relatively easy time growing their family, we have not been so lucky. I have a dear SIL who had problems to start and a GF that had several MC before success. But they both had beautiful daughters within 2 years (and a couple years later had another beautiful daughter each). I still have not been that lucky.

Over the last few months we have been researching various adoption programs. I am proud to share that we have finally made the decision on the companies we will use.

I was wondering if others had made the decision to grow through adoption and if you are willing to share your Adoption Story? This was a very difficult decision for us to make, but believe this is the road God has chosen for us. I could use some encouragement along the way.

 

[Sandy22]

There are many adoptive families on this board. I can have biological children but I always knew, since I was a little girl, that I would adopt. I've been blessed with a bio son and am now in the process of adopting a beautiful 17 month old girl.

You are lucky! Once you have your child in your arms, you'll feel lucky for weathering the storm and persevering through the hard times. And lucky for what's happened in the past for that's what will lead you to your child.

Are you adopting domestically or internationally?

 

[ZachnElli]

Congratulations! The baby in my siggy is our adoption miracle! We have 2 bio kids, then I had 6 miscarriages (well, 5, had another just last week, that was an opps). We knew we wanted more kids and have talked about adopting since shortly after getting married 13 years ago, before having our bio kids. We started the process just last fall and we were placed with Noah on March 18, when he was just 6 days old! He is the light of our lives! Good luck with your journey!

 

[nliedel]

We had a child born at 24 weeks pass. We were told it would be best not to try again and we looked into adoption. We have two beautiful adopted boys both of Hispanic heritage. They are 6 and 8 and were infants when we adopted them. Our second oldest, Steven, was born addicted but please never let that stop you. He has some issues but he is a delightful joy.

We were then diagnoses infertile after 5 years of progress with preemies made us try again. Giving up and thrilled with our little family we had what 12% of all infertile couples have, a pregnancy (yep it's twelve percent across the board. There are always stories of people who adopt getting magically pregnant but it is pretty rare no matter what your aunt Milly told you). We had our little man early and weighing only 3 lbs but he is two now and doing well. We then had the shock of our lives and JJ came along.

I am adopted as well.

Would we do it again if we knew Hernie-Roo and JJ would come along? OH MY YES! I cannot imagine life without my oldest boys. They are my heart. Do I feel any differently about the adopted ones vs. the birth children? No way. I love them all as individuals but equally. Would we adopt again? Yes. I would love a girl, but older. I am done with the baby thing I think (I am 41).

Adoption is a wonderful and rewarding experience. It is also scary at times but so is pregnancy. It results in a family that is extended by a set of birth parents. Recently my Gene-Gene said, "I feel sorry for Herne and JJ, they only have one Mom". While we do not keep in touch with their birthmoms they both know stories (in G2's case it is his birthmothers choice. In Steven's case until she is clean and sober I will not expose him to that. I do not blame her for her addiction but it is hard to rely on someone who is addicted).

I can say with my whole heart that adoption is a wonderful and loving way to grow a family and hope my children elect to adopt children of their own some day.

 

[antmaril]

Our son is adopted from South Korea. He was three months old when we adopted him and he just graduated from high school last month. He is a wonderful boy and the light of lives. I cannot imagine my life without him. I have said many times that adopting him remains the most important and best decision of my life. He is truly a gift from God.

Good luck to you!

 

[hipporina]

We have 4 adopted kiddos, and probably aren't done! We had been trying for about 2.5 years when God dropped Luke and Joshua into our paths. As terrifying as it was, we brought them into our lives when they were 7 & 2.5 years old. Then about 1.5 years later, he sent us Kathryn & Daniel (6 & 4 at the time).

Adopting has been an incredible adventure. Some of our kids came with incredible challenges that we fought and are still fighting, but it makes the progress all the better. Having your son throw his arms around you and declare "I love you Mom!" is always great, but it is even more special when it comes from a child who wouldn't hug anyone and was almost completely non-verbal only months before.

I can't express how much my children are miracles to me. God has blessed me tremendously in a way I never could have expected. Congrats on your decision to adopt and enjoy the journey!

 

[kdibattista]

Check out this thread:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=864415

DH and I are now starting the adoption process... we are going to Kazakhstan and hope to have our little girl this time next year!!!!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Adoptive mom and dad here, long time ago, 27 and 24 years ago. It is worth it, tough at times, kids from anywhere are tough, LOL, but worth it. Good wishes.

 

[lynetteSC]

adoptive parents here as well! our ds was born the day before our 10th anniversary and our birthmom signed papers on our anniversary! some gift ... it was well worth teh long wait and all shots/fertility treatments we endured! good luck. keep us posted on how your journey goes! i will warn you, when you 1st hold your child, you will forget how long and painful that journey was!

 

[Andrewssix]

Hello,

I am a mom to four children. I have 2 biological sons and 2 adopted daughters. After having my two sons, my DH and I decided to adopt a daughter. I had always wanted to adopt internationally, so in March 2002, we began the paperwork and the homestudy. We had everything completed by June. In July 2002, we received a call from our agency asking if we would be interested in twins! Four months later, we brought our beautiful four month old daughters home. It has been a wonderful blessing!

Andrea
Mom to Luke (8yrs), Jack (6yrs), Sophie (3yrs) and Annabelle (3yrs)

 

[luvthatduke]

We adopted our son at birth (he's now 2 1/2 years),
we call him our "3 day pregnancy" LOL!
We met his birthmother on a Monday,
and he was born late Thursday/early Friday,
5 months after our homestudy was final.
I was there for his birth,
and cut the cord for my DH because
he couldn't be in the delivery room.
I held our son when he was less than one minute old,
and I've wept countless tears of joy since then!
He is the light of our lives,
and we praise God for His incredible gift to us.
Blessings to you on your journey...

 

[cindrelly31]

Are you adopting domestically or internationally?

We are adopting domestically. We are using an agency in CA. The homestudy will be conducted from an agency here in MI. The adoption agency we are using has an average placement time of 9 months. It costs a bit more, but we have friends that have used them and had their beautiful daughter in 7 months.

It has been hard for me to go to baby showers and first birthdays, but now that this decision has been made and we are moving forward, hopefully it will get easier.

 

[cindrelly31]

Check out this thread:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=864415

DH and I are now starting the adoption process... we are going to Kazakhstan and hope to have our little girl this time next year!!!!

Thanks for the link. I will definately read more later as the little I read was encouraging.

We have chosen domestic for the first because that was the direction we believe God was leading us. (We are Christians and active in our church). I would like to adopt a second child in a few years from Poland (of all places!!) as that is part of my heritage.

 

[RadioFanatic]

how do you make the choice b/w adopting domestically or internationally - what are the benefits/negatives of each? my dh and I are looking into that option as well after 7 years and 2 IVF's with no success.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

dad of DD (13) and DS (10). I agree with Dan - whether biological or adopted, children are a twice as much work as you ever expected, but 100 times the joy.

Good luck

 

[cindrelly31]

how do you make the choice b/w adopting domestically or internationally - what are the benefits/negatives of each? my dh and I are looking into that option as well after 7 years and 2 IVF's with no success.

We found that if you want to have a newborn it is best to adopt domestically. You sign up with an agency and then you create your profile (a scrapbook 8-12 pages and/or web profile), a woman who wishes to provide her child an adoption plan is then able to pick from profiles of families she wishes to place her child with, when you are chosen, you may or maynot have a few months to prepare your home and possibly meet the birthmom and get information regarding the health of your child's parents.The negatives come in with the state laws regarding termination of the birthparents rights. Some states it can take upto 72 hours, other states 3 months. And the birthparents can change their mind anytime up until termination.

If you don't mind the age of the baby (usually 4m & up), international is a way to go, or domestic foster adoption. The drawback to international is that you may not get any health information on your child's birthfamily.

I know people that have done each. The wait time is about the same domestic & international now. With domestic there is no longer the "first come-first serve" mentality.

 

[cindrelly31]

adoptive parents here as well! our ds was born the day before our 10th anniversary and our birthmom signed papers on our anniversary! some gift ... it was well worth teh long wait and all shots/fertility treatments we endured! good luck. keep us posted on how your journey goes! i will warn you, when you 1st hold your child, you will forget how long and painful that journey was!

That is some Anniversary gift!! I just got a Disney Cruise!! (I am *not* complaining though! )

I have heard all the wonderful emotions that occur when you first hold your child. I will share them with you when that time comes. (Hopefully by next summer!!)

 

[WDWNewbie]

A few months ago I posted on this board and expressed our family's sentiments about adoption (and got my tag that day too!)
*****

Infertility--the best thing that ever happened to us!
As our daughter nears her 10th birthday, I am overwhelmed with the joy she has brought to our lives. We adopted her from China as a baby.

It's funny--infertility started out as what we thought was the WORST thing that ever happened to us, but turned out to be the BEST. Without infertility we wouldn't have her in our lives--and I can't imagine that at all!! Sometimes in life you don't get what you want--you get something better!

Just thought I'd post this for anyone out there dealing with infertility who is considering the miracle of adoption and is looking for encouragement!


*****

I wish you the very best in your adoption journey!

 

[lynetteSC]

A few months ago I posted on this board and expressed our family's sentiments about adoption (and got my tag that day too!)
*****

Infertility--the best thing that ever happened to us!
As our daughter nears her 10th birthday, I am overwhelmed with the joy she has brought to our lives. We adopted her from China as a baby.

It's funny--infertility started out as what we thought was the WORST thing that ever happened to us, but turned out to be the BEST. Without infertility we wouldn't have her in our lives--and I can't imagine that at all!! Sometimes in life you don't get what you want--you get something better!

Just thought I'd post this for anyone out there dealing with infertility who is considering the miracle of adoption and is looking for encouragement!


*****

I wish you the very best in your adoption journey!

Funny you should say that ... just a few months ago I was near our old fertility clinic. I took ds in there and spoke to the nurses (who still remembered us). I told them to thank our dr for not being able to help us! The nurses laughed and realized what I was getting at!

 

[WDWNewbie]

Funny you should say that ... just a few months ago I was near our old fertility clinic. I took ds in there and spoke to the nurses (who still remembered us). I told them to thank our dr for not being able to help us! The nurses laughed and realized what I was getting at!

LynetteSC--ain't it the truth!! What a perfect comment!!