ADHD, Medication and a mom confession...

[sdoll]

Seems funny that I turn to this board for help but what can I say I value the feedback and looking for some expert parents! My DS10 was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago while in the 2nd grade. We tried medication but the side effects were very rough. He was very emotional and even told our pediatrician that he wanted to die which is not his personality at all! We tried 1 more drug and had similar side effects. At the time he had a wonderful teacher who's own son had a similar experience and we worked out a plan that worked ok with my son. Its now 2 years later and I am questioning if we should try something again. Here is why I am questioning if we should revisit. He has a 504 at school and academically does ok at school he is capable of earning A's and does in his classes in the morning but by the end of the day he admits that he can't stay focused. His teacher has supported this and works to help him stay focused. As he gets further along in his school he needs to be more responsible for his behavior (turning in homework, staying focused etc) He is better able to communicate with me if he is struggling with the effects of a medicine. He is also aware of himself and recognizes his behavior which is a blessing and a curse. He is all over the place hyperactive. He gets no sleep because his brain is going a mile a minute. He is a great kid and not at all a behavior problem. But he is touching, jumping, swinging, flinging, whistling you name it non stop. Here is my confession and i feel horrible. Sometimes i feel annoyed with my own son and it breaks my heart. i feel like I am correcting his behavior all the time "don't touch that, stop whistling, sit down, time to be quite..." i am afraid he will see that i am not like that with my other son and resent me. We do have a great relationship and are as honest as we can be at this age. As he gets older I am afraid that as the relationship changes he will be mad at me. I sometimes feel guilty asking him to be something he is not. what if its just me? Maybe i am not a patient as i need to be. I want to pursue this if it's what's best for him not what's best for me! Unfortunately there is no magic 8 ball that tells me what is best. if you have any experience or words of wisdom i look forward to hearing it!

 

[alopez926]

My daughter is more inattentive than hyperactive and also has a 504 for ADHD and another disability. She could not tolerate any of the stimulant medications--they make her jittery and nauseous and she loses her appetite completely. She's been on a non-stimulant medication called Intuniv for several years and has tolerated it quite well. There is a marked difference in her level of activity/hyperactivity on the rare day she forgets to take her meds so I'm pretty confident they are helping. They make her sleepy if she takes them in the morning, so she takes them at bedtime and they last all day. She says she feels way more out of control when she's not on them and doesn't like that feeling. Maybe you could talk to your doctor about it if it's something you feel may be needed.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know how you feel. I'm constantly trying to get my dd to focus, to stay on task, to follow directions, to do what she needs to do to get out the door in the morning. Everything disracts her. I feel like I nag endlessly. And after 10 years, my patience is worn to the bone, and she's only in 7th grade. It's not easy, and if we didn't get frustrated we would not be human. I don't have the answers unfortunately. I do put myself in "time out' when I feel like it's too much and I just need some quiet time so I don't blow my stack! I'll tag along on this thread to see what advice others have to give!

I wish you all the best in figuring out the path that is best for you and your son (and the rest of your family).

 

[holden]

Our DD12 was diagnosed ADHD-inattentive type in 3rd grade. We tried to manage the year without meds, but her homework was taking approx. 2hrs a day to complete. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, packing schoolbag, etc. in the morning was stressful. I had to repeat myself 100x to get her to complete any multistep task.

We broke down and tried meds in 4th grade. It has made a world of difference! We tried at least 4 different types/doses until we found one that works (for now anyway). Our insurance said it wasn't covered (Concerta), but I filed an appeal and it was approved! I had to provide evidence that all of the other meds either didn't work or had severe side effects (inability to sleep was a big one).

She is now able to focus in school, stay organized, and complete assignments on time. She maintains an "A" average, even though her room is still messy She isn't perfect (no one is), but things are much better. She is happier too and has good self-esteem.

Now we are heading down the same road with DD8. I'm expecting she will need meds too. She seems to me to be more severe than DD12, and I suspect she has the hyperactive component that DD12 doesn't have. We are having her evaluated now and expect results soon.

I'm not the type of person who gives/takes medicine willy nilly. I try not to give/take any medicine unless it is necessary. Based on my experience with DD12, I wouldn't hesitate to pursue meds for DD8 if she is diagnosed ADHD.

You have to do what is best for your child. I believe that we moms (and dads too) have an instinct for what works for our kids. Best of luck whatever you decide.

 

[Minniesgal]

Our DD12 was diagnosed ADHD-inattentive type in 3rd grade. We tried to manage the year without meds, but her homework was taking approx. 2hrs a day to complete. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, packing schoolbag, etc. in the morning was stressful. I had to repeat myself 100x to get her to complete any multistep task.

We broke down and tried meds in 4th grade. It has made a world of difference! We tried at least 4 different types/doses until we found one that works (for now anyway). Our insurance said it wasn't covered (Concerta), but I filed an appeal and it was approved! I had to provide evidence that all of the other meds either didn't work or had severe side effects (inability to sleep was a big one).

She is now able to focus in school, stay organized, and complete assignments on time. She maintains an "A" average, even though her room is still messy She isn't perfect (no one is), but things are much better. She is happier too and has good self-esteem.

Now we are heading down the same road with DD8. I'm expecting she will need meds too. She seems to me to be more severe than DD12, and I suspect she has the hyperactive component that DD12 doesn't have. We are having her evaluated now and expect results soon.

I'm not the type of person who gives/takes medicine willy nilly. I try not to give/take any medicine unless it is necessary. Based on my experience with DD12, I wouldn't hesitate to pursue meds for DD8 if she is diagnosed ADHD.

You have to do what is best for your child. I believe that we moms (and dads too) have an instinct for what works for our kids. Best of luck whatever you decide.

This!

The medication for us was the difference between my son getting an education and not getting an education.

He has problems with appetite, the emotional swings ave gone away. We only medicate him when he has to be for school or homework not at weekends and holidays so he recovers his appetite during holidays and we push him to eat when he is on them

 

[Kenny1113]

I'm so glad I found this. We are late to the game DS is older and recently diagnosed. He was diagnosed with inattentive type adhd. I'm so nervous to put him on meds because of all the side effects described above. He has an not afraid to try anything, all traits of adhd. I'm so afraid of these going away with the meds
additionally I've read that meds are not that beneficial to inattentive type adhd.
We've denied that anything was going on for years because he'd have period when he's on and periods where he's not. Since the dx we have tried this school year with out meds, but now that first semester (review ) is over his grades are suffering.we are thinking we will go ahead after the winter break.

 

[chris31997]

I think you all are fabulous moms. Raising kids is not easy, they don't come with handbooks. Add to the challenge a medical condition. You do what you can and be there for your kids. Hats of to you

As for the meds: I would go back to your DR and talk to them about the side effects and dosage. It is amazing what side effects and dosage can do to your body. It maybe that a lower dosage is what is needed or a med off label is what is needed.

Good luck

 

[Brancaneve]

Sdoll.......
It's so hard being a parent, isn't it? The only comment I can add to this discussion is that a lot can change in the medical field in a few years. Perhaps there are new medications or dosing changes that will alleviate the horrible side effects. Best of luck!

 

[holden]

I'm so glad I found this. We are late to the game DS is older and recently diagnosed. He was diagnosed with inattentive type adhd. I'm so nervous to put him on meds because of all the side effects described above. He has an not afraid to try anything, all traits of adhd. I'm so afraid of these going away with the meds
additionally I've read that meds are not that beneficial to inattentive type adhd.
We've denied that anything was going on for years because he'd have period when he's on and periods where he's not. Since the dx we have tried this school year with out meds, but now that first semester (review ) is over his grades are suffering.we are thinking we will go ahead after the winter break.

Our DD12 has inattentive type and meds have definitely helped her. It helps her maintain focus. If she skips meds on the weekend she is not as able to complete tasks, whether it's cleaning up her room or completing a paper for school.

We tried many different doses/meds until we found the right one. Most interfered with sleep/appetite. Concerta (brand name only) was the only one that helped. The generic version kept her from sleeping; brand name made a huge difference.

Every kid's body chemistry is different, so this med might not be the one for your child.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

Our DD12 was diagnosed ADHD-inattentive type in 3rd grade. We tried to manage the year without meds, but her homework was taking approx. 2hrs a day to complete. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, packing schoolbag, etc. in the morning was stressful. I had to repeat myself 100x to get her to complete any multistep task.

We broke down and tried meds in 4th grade. It has made a world of difference! We tried at least 4 different types/doses until we found one that works (for now anyway). Our insurance said it wasn't covered (Concerta), but I filed an appeal and it was approved! I had to provide evidence that all of the other meds either didn't work or had severe side effects (inability to sleep was a big one).

She is now able to focus in school, stay organized, and complete assignments on time. She maintains an "A" average, even though her room is still messy She isn't perfect (no one is), but things are much better. She is happier too and has good self-esteem.

Now we are heading down the same road with DD8. I'm expecting she will need meds too. She seems to me to be more severe than DD12, and I suspect she has the hyperactive component that DD12 doesn't have. We are having her evaluated now and expect results soon.

I'm not the type of person who gives/takes medicine willy nilly. I try not to give/take any medicine unless it is necessary. Based on my experience with DD12, I wouldn't hesitate to pursue meds for DD8 if she is diagnosed ADHD.

You have to do what is best for your child. I believe that we moms (and dads too) have an instinct for what works for our kids. Best of luck whatever you decide.

This. I wish all parents thought like you do. I encounter way too many kids who obviously need help and their parents refuse to even try medication. I have a friend whose child is essentially going uneducated because she stubbornly refuses to "put those chemicals in his body" as she says. For the 6 months he was on medication he made A's. He is a bright kid. Now he is home schooled because at 11 he "shouldn't be expected to sit in a desk for an hour at a time" and "his teacher/ school is the problem" (3 different schools in 3 years) He isn't anywhere near grade level and no one motivates him to try. She just isn't realistic about her child, his needs, or her role in helping him be successful. She is looking for someone to blame, and i unfortunately tend to encounter that a lot in the classroom.

 

[unrequited23]

My nephew was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in kindergarten. My sister found that a lower dose of medication, changes in diet (less artificial colors, certain preservatives, etc) and and sports really helped him.

 

[ozliz]

To start with I am not a parent so may not have any business sticking my nose in here but I thought I would share some information that might be useful. I have done elimination diets for a range of symptoms and one of them (with origins in the Feingold diet and then developed into its current form by the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney, Australia) has many stories of helping with ADHD too. Obviously it is not a 'cure' but can definitely help manage symptoms. The best site as an introduction may be http://www.fedup.com.au/factsheets/symptom-factsheets/adhd-and-diet

They also have a Facebook group if you want discussion boards, advice and assistance. They are not a group that is anti medication but one that recognises that diet can also help to manage symptoms in addition to medication.

You mentioned that he is worse after lunch and therefore a food additive in his lunch may not be helping if he is sensitive. Someone else mentioned food additives etc too so if you are interested (dietary changes are a big commitment) then the site I have provided is a good place to start looking into this as an option.

 

[Kenny1113]

Our DD12 has inattentive type and meds have definitely helped her. It helps her maintain focus. If she skips meds on the weekend she is not as able to complete tasks, whether it's cleaning up her room or completing a paper for school.

We tried many different doses/meds until we found the right one. Most interfered with sleep/appetite. Concerta (brand name only) was the only one that helped. The generic version kept her from sleeping; brand name made a huge difference.

Every kid's body chemistry is different, so this med might not be the one for your child.

Thank you for this. I believe that was the med the md wanted to start with. I just really need to give it a shot and trust that the side effects are not permanent and will go away when affecting med out of system.

 

[tabrizia]

My 8 year old is on meds for ADHD combined type (you name a symptom he has it). We tried numerous things before moving to med, including diet changes, behavioral therapy and other various and assorted things. Meds help him far more then most of the other options. Actually a combo of med and behavioral therapy helped to get him to where he is now. That being said, it can take a long time to get the medication right. It has taken us almost 2 years to figure out the best combination of medication that works for him. Please do not be surprised if when you try medication you have to go through 2 or 3 different medications or dosages to find one that works well. When it works well medication can be life changing, figuring out your child's brain chemistry to find which medication works best can take awhile, and can change as well and send you back into figuring out the best option again.

 

[HoliPoli]

As an adult with ADHD, I dont medicate, but with that said I have the maturity to appropriately control my impulses. It sounds counter productive, but caffiene helped calm me as a child. There is plenty of research on the topic if you do a quick Google search.

 

[sdoll]

We met with our pediatrician yesterday I was happy to find out that he has a son the exact same age and could speak to so much of my sons behavior because of his own experience. It helped me a lot. We started with adderall today. I know it will take some time to figure out what works and what doesn't. When he tried medicine in the past he crashed around 5pm right when i get home from work and started dinner, homework etc.. Bad time! Our Dr. said that it is very common and if we experience it with this med then we will react to it. I loved hearing that! It was very reassuring that it is a common occurrence. So excited to see if this helps him.

 

[holden]

As an adult with ADHD, I dont medicate, but with that said I have the maturity to appropriately control my impulses. It sounds counter productive, but caffiene helped calm me as a child. There is plenty of research on the topic if you do a quick Google search.

ADHD meds are stimulants, so the caffeine thing makes sense to me.

 

[Baklava]

As an adult with ADHD, I dont medicate, but with that said I have the maturity to appropriately control my impulses. It sounds counter productive, but caffiene helped calm me as a child. There is plenty of research on the topic if you do a quick Google search.

Yeah, I've known a number of kids who had caffeine for settling down- one of my son's friends had it written into his IEP that the classroom "no food" rule did not apply to his coffee.

 

[pixxi]

My son is 13 and he was diagnosed at age 6, his kintergarden year was horrible because of his teacher and no tunderstanding ADHD. It has been a hard many years, learned a lot along the way. This past year was the first time medication made a difference I can't tell you how many thousands of dollars we spent trying to find the right medication and dosage just to start over with a different medication. We are not on Daytrana patches and it's the only thing that works for him. We had many thera pist give up on us, even 2 home therapist said "what's the point we are not getting anywhere". I would suggest a website CHADD which provides a lot of information. I would also suggest instead of a 504 an IEP with specific goals your child should meet and the school needs to help with that. For example my son doesn't have a problem doing homework but his organizational skills are lacking, a goal for him might be handing in 50% of homework on time. The teachers then have a share of the responsibility to assist him in that in what ever way needed. My son was so impulsive that he was getting written up at school many times a week, so we had a behavioral goal each quarter. He also had behavioral sheets for each class on responsible, organized and respectful. When he earned XX points he got a reward (going to the fitness room, a toy from the principal desk he liked, special time with teacher, climbing wall etc...). We also have teachers assist with assignment notebook and checking him out at the end of school to keep him organized and sent home with all the materials he needs for homework. You know where your child needs help so don't be afraid to ask, a lot of times staff will say he is old enough and shouldn't need help but obviously with the fact homework isn't handed in or assignment notebook isn't filled out that he still needs some direction. I'm fine with them backing off with the help when he is able to demonstrate more abilities in those areas. There are many books on the subject and I learned to change my thinking when it comes to my son.

My son also has seen many psychologists until we found the right fit for our needs. We do medicate him at night to help him sleep since he otherwise would be up all night getting into sugar items and playing video games ot watching tv. He is my son again, it made such a difference and he is able to tell too. It makes me want to cry saying "I have my son back". We still have issues especially when his medication wears out and he gets over stimuated around his sibblings. I have learned his triggers and when he needs his alone time.

 

[sdoll]

My son was placed on a 504 rather than an IEP because he did not meet the academic requirements for an IEP. The way it was explained to me was since he is not much of a behavior issue and is able to maintain his grades he falls more into the 504 plan. Honestly i have no complaints about what he is on. Our school has been fantastic about supporting him. I pursued the 504 more to help him during standardized testing. He is provided a scribe because he has some fine motor issues and outside of his teacher no one from the state would be able to read his writing, it also allows him to utilize a computer or ipad for spelling test and written assignments and provides him more time for testing. I am very apposed to standardized testing!! I find this testing to be so much more damaging than helpful. Personally I would have never passed them as a child and would have had tremendous amounts of stress worrying about them. Thank goodness i never had to take them. I could go on and on about that rant! I feel for the teachers!

 

[k5jm]

My wife has her hands full. I was undiagnosed for 30 years. After understanding what was going on and getting medication, I started to realize that when I was younger I had to build systems and patterns and be VERY goal based in my attack when I was in school.

My DS (12) was also diagnosed several years ago. We use a combination of meds and diet to help keep him focused. But the biggest thing is to build systems and patterns to be functional when he is not on meds. Learning to live with ADHD is more important than medication. We set objective based goals for him to meet with rewards for attaining those goals. We work with him of organization which is an ongoing battle. I have the the advantage of having the same tendencies and I am able to relate many of these things to him.

But there is also a flip-side to ADHD. DS is highly intelligent and is crazy good with math, remember facts and snippets of information, great with music and art, and has the ability to really think outside of the box. He also tends to hyper-focus (talk about a flip-side). We cannot keep up with amount of books he reads. He is a voracious reader. Normally that is not an issue, but when DS takes books to school (3 or 4 at a time) and tends to read those instead of doing classwork, that is an issue.

To combat many of the mood swing issues that the meds bring on, we make sure he eats and has plenty of water/fluids. Many of the meds cause loss of appetite. We have to make sure he eats a big breakfast in the morning and that he eats his lunch at school. When he eats, we see very few of the mood swings. But he is almost 13 and many of the mood swings could be hormones too.

When I was my DS's age, there was no way I could ever focus to read a book or sit down to complete homework and heaven forbid pay attention in class. There were just too many cool things to do and see. It was not until I was in High School that I figured out what I needed to do to be functional and pass my classes. The classes were not hard for me, but I had to have a goal (passing all my classes) and a reward for myself (participating in extracurricular activities). They passed this silly little law in Texas when I was in Jr. High called "No Pass No Play." Books on tapes, taking lots of notes and recopying those notes or putting them into my Apple ][e computer at school helped me study and helped me build the systems that help me to succeed today. I also find that to block out distractions and keep me focused, listening to Classical music, Neo-Romantic/Classical Movie Soundtracks (like ET, Jaws, Star Trek, Star Wars, The Rocketeer to name a few), with headphones helped to keep me on track. I still do that at work. My son does the same thing.
My DW, Christy, not only has my son and I to deal with, but her boss is just ADHD as my son and I. But she is our rock. She is very organized and very focused and on point. She is the list maker, goal setter, and cheerleader.

Here are some good reading materials:

• The Disorganized Mind
• Superparenting for ADD

Remember, ADHD is also a gift! Walt Disney was also believed to be ADHD!!

Walt Disney: ADHD
Walt Disney is thought to have had ADD/ADHD as a child. He obviously is highly creative and could conceive and draw out of his imagination onto paper.

Walt was definitely gifted, other things that allude to his ADHD

Preferred to spend his time drawing all of the time

Was a poor student

Dropped out of school at 16

Risk taker and emotional, tried to enlist in army at 16

Became a driver for the Red Cross overseas in France at 16 (risk taker)

Became a newspaper artist by the time he as 18

Innovator, experimented with animation on camera and opened his own animation business – first one in his field to do that

Brilliant – became an absolute icon and legend in his industry and sets the standard for all animation today.

One of the original founders of movies/animation industry in American industry
.

Walt Disney is one of the most famous creators in the world; he built an empire that is still thriving fifty years in his absence. He succeeded in moving animation from a black –and-white novelty to a respected genre that would produce Oscar-worthy films. Walt Disney thrived to become one of the most influential figures in the entertainment industry – despite his ADHD.

During Walt Disney’s childhood he preferred to spend his time drawing and painting. Disney had to repeat a grade in school and he struggled to keep his grades up. In high school he took drawing and photography classes and attended the art academy in Chicago at night to enhance his talents. He participated in drawing competitions and contributed as a cartoonist for his high school paper.

He dropped out of high school at 16 and attempted to enlist in the army. He was rejected for being underage and he decided to join the Red Cross instead and was sent to France for a year to drive an ambulance.

After Disney returned from France, he pursued a career as a newspaper artist. He began to experiment with a camera and hand drawn animation and decided to open his own animation business. Disney only grew from there.

Walt Disney is a legend. His worldwide popularity to this day is based on the ideals his name represents: imagination, optimism, creativity and the self-made success of the American tradition.

Hope this helps!!