Addictions *inspired by Alias' post*

[snoopy]

Nope, EROS, wouldn't have a problem with my husband watching a steamy R-rated movie, as long as it wasn't a movie that portrayed women as bimbo sex addicts. I have no problem with my husband having fantasies, in fact, I think its healthy. I don't like pornography, I think it demeans women. And I think the issue that alias brought up was a serious one because he was leaving their bed so he could go have sex with a computer screen, and she was then in turn no longer allowing him in the bed. A little deeper than someone who can't seem to stop DISing, imo.

And 6 Time Momma, I have no problems with my husband getting off on a computer screen, so no need for me to get out of bed.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

LOL, 6_Time_Momma. That is the funniest thing I have ever heard you say!!!!

Sorry!! Guess I lost my composure there for a minute!!

 

[EROS]

6_TIME_Momma, if I'm not on your IGNORE list and you can see this, I'M SHOCKED!!!!!! . Have you been getting into the Brandy tonight???? .....

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Don't be silly, EROS!! I certainly wouldn't imbibe with a wee one depending on me!! Simply an attempt at humor, which was apparently taken a way wrong way by some people!!

 

[EROS]

6_Time_Momma, in Boston we have an old saying:

"TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION"!!!! ......

 

[A kid at heart]

Spontaneous sex and sex initiated by "porn" can sometimes be the best that you'll have! Your's was a godo one Kristy!

 

[I <3 Eeyore]

How do you think anyone gets to be a 6 Time Momma, anyway?

 

[one_cat]

On the original subject, I think that an addiction to the DIS can be just as bad for a person as any other non-chemical addiction. I have found times that my posting on the dis has caused me to neglect my wife and family and had to start laying off a bit. At one job I always kept an ie window open with the dis - they never cared because I got my work done, but it could have been devestating if I had lost my job over it. Since then I made a deal with myself. I never look at the internet at work except for work-related stuff. I have also seen myself get addicted to watching the stock market during the good times. I personally don't think that looking at soft-core porn is a bad thing, I'm not sure if it is a sin or not. However if it starts to become an addiction it can be terrible.

 

[Leota]

Very interesting thread - good topic Jips...
Since I have an addictive personality, I watch myself to see if I'm engaging in any of the things I like to excess - by excess, I mean that it takes me away from things that are important to my well-being & that of my family... I indulge in all kinds of things, but over-indulgence is something I have to be careful of....I see over-indulgence happening alot in things that are politically correct, therefor, the participants aren't as harshly judged as someone who might indulge to a lesser extant, in something considered less correct - (hopefully that made sense, lol)I find that interesting to say the least.....

 

[TigerBear]

I think its those pregnancy hormones.

 

[jipsy]

Wow this post took off while I watched a movie. And no, it wasn't porn

Snoopy I see your point. I have known couples that have had problems because one of them was addicted to the internet. Not porn, just bb's or a chat room. In each case, the addiction was so that the addicted one would get up in the middle of the night to get on the computer to feed their addiction, leaving the other one in the bed alone. It did cause alot of problems for them. One person felt neglected, which is I'm sure what Alias is feeling. Neglected, unattractive, inadequate. I hope she has explained these feelings to her husband and he is trying to understand them.

I guess Alias' post just had me thinking; I saw someone post here a couple of weeks ago that they got online at like 7 am to read a few posts and next thing they knew, it was after 9 am and she had not fed her children breakfast yet. To me, that is an addiction also. I'm not saying I think she did it every day, I don't even remember who it was that posted it.

I know I neglect things, but since I am single and live alone, the things I neglect only affect me. Mostly I miss alot of sleep So, if I choose to sit here for 4 hours on the internet vs. doing my laundry or cleaning house or paying bills or whatever, I'm the only one that suffers.

Other addictions can be just as bad - I know people who are addicted to food. I am on the edge of that myself - I love food. I love to cook it, I love to serve it to other people, I love to eat. I have used food as a substitute for love, for anger, for sorrow... At one point I weighted 172 lbs. My then husband was very upset at my obsession with eating and my addiction to food and he asked me to stop because he was afraid for my health, not because he didn't like the way I looked. I smoked for many many years and I know how hard it was to quit. I just see so many people who have addictions to different things and it just amazes me that society will accept overeating or smoking more so than they will viewing a naked woman or man "copulating" as some one put it.

Again, I wasn't debating her husband's choice or her being upset with it; I gave my opinion on her thread. This thread was more intended to be a discussion about all kinds of addictions.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Your's was a godo one Kristy!

Ahhhhh....thank you AKAH!! It is always nice to hear someone appreciating my humor!!

I think its those pregnancy hormones.

Ahh! Tigerbear, you may be onto something there!! I even found myself agreeing with EROS on the other thread!! Something that truly frightens me!!

 

[Saphire]

Just because you can point fingers at other people's addictions does not make your own personal addiction ok. It is either wrong or right for you (and your loved ones), never mind what the rest of the world is doing. If it causes problems in your own life, then it is wrong, even if "everyone else does it".

 

[snoopy]

Edited so as not to be strangely interpreted as a personnal attack.

How graceful and classy of you.

Spontaneous sex and sex initiated by "porn" can sometimes be the best that you'll have!

I don't equate the two. Spotaneous sex can and certainly does happen without the use of pornography for many couples. If pornography is something that you personally like to use as a tool to enrich your sex life, so be it. Just don't assume that its necessary or correct for everyone.

In any case, I'm off topic, as it appears this thread has gone. Jipsy, I agree wtih you. Addictions can come in many forms, and when one person in a marriage comes to feel they are neglected, as you said, then it becomes a problem. Simple as that. As I said before, I do believe some addictions are stronger and more complicated than others, but the bottom line is they are hard to overcome and certainly the downfall of many marriages.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

How graceful and classy of you.

Why thank you, Snoopy. And may I commend you for showing your awesome grace and class here as well? I'm sorry you are not able to take a joke though.

 

[snoopy]

I'm sorry you are not able to take a joke though.

Was that was that was? Hmmm, you didn't tell me that.

I may be guilty of not taking a joke, but I always offer an apology when I've offended someone.

In any case, I'm LMAO now, and I'm off to nighty night! Sweet dreams, my friends! Whether they be the kind you find in dirty magazines, or sweet Disney dreams, whatever floats your boat, I wish you happy ones!

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Uhhhh.....you couldn't tell it was a joke? I included several winky guys and jesters! They usually indicate a joke, don't they?

 

[SilverLily]

I don't understand when people say "if one spouse gets up in the middle of the night to (fill in the blank....DIS, look at porno, whatever), leaving the other spouse alone, it is a problem".

How is that a problem? If it is the middle of the night, the other person would usually be sleeping, right? So what's the big deal? To me, that would mean the person is being respectful and not letting the "addiction" get in the way of couple time. The only person they would be hurting is themselves by losing out on sleep!

 

[EROS]

Originally posted by 6_Time_Momma

I even found myself agreeing with EROS on the other thread!! Something that truly frightens me!!

LOL.............of course, you could plea temporary insanity . Why don't we just write off your aberrant mental status to some type of hormonal flux ..........

 

[danacara]

Perhaps this is characteristic of my generation, but in the grand scheme of things, porn doesn't bother me at all. Think of DISing vs. actually visiting Disney with your family. You can DIS all day - it makes you smile, it makes you wistful, it gives you a little thrill to hear about someone getting a great deal or enjoying a prime face-character moment - but does that really compare in any way to enjoying Disney with your family? Can all the DISing in the world even touch that? I think that for some men, porn is like DISing, and sex is like traveling to Disney. I see no reason why a man cannot enjoy both.