Addictions *inspired by Alias' post*

[jipsy]

I have been re-reading Alias' post about her concern over her husband's viewing porn on the internet. There are many varied reactions about this, but it started me thinking about alot of things.

Many of you are vehemently opposed to anyone viewing "porn" although we have no clear definition of what that might be. I guess it's different for everyone. The subject of porn being addictive was brought up as was the subject of it causing men to find chat rooms, start internet affairs, etc. Basically ruining a good marriage.

A few people quoted the Bible, which is not a bad thing.

I truly believe that Alias, whether she is Christian or whatever, just needs to search her soul and heart first and find out why this bothers her so.

However, that being said (and don't jump me on this next point; I am not pointing a finger at Alias in particular) she says she is a long term DIS'er.

Even Buckalew joked about being addicted to the DIS.

So, we all have our addictions, whether it be porno or the DIS. I'm sure many of you are immediately thinking right now that being addicted to the DIS, or any other type of web product, is not a bad thing, but think about it.

I have seen posts from DIS'ers who say they have been online too long and are neglecting their work, their children, etc. because they are too busy posting here.

I readily admit that I spend too much time online and have had an internet addiction since I discovered it over seven years ago.

Should our spouses/SO's be allowed the same feelings as Alias' feelings are about her husband's porno viewing? How many of us, who may be quick to judge whether it is ok or not for him to do so, are addicted to our computers in other ways and make our spouses/SO's upset with our "hobby"?

The Bible I used to read taught that ANY overindulgence is a sin, whether it be too much drinking, too much eating, etc. And it also taught that all sins are equal in God's eyes.

Just some things to think about on a Sunday afternoon.

 

[TheLionKing]

Am I supposed to "think" on the weekends too?

 

[jipsy]

Yes. Aren't Dr.'s always "on call"?

 

[Judy from Boise]

I agree with many of your points, I was reflecting today while eating at a delicious brunch ( after church ) that i think gluttony is such an unattractive sin that many Christians indulge in without a thought !

 

[TheLionKing]

I am on call just 183 days out of the year. Its a 50/50 chance whether I am really thinking on any particular day.

I am a sinner, but I hope my acts of goodness far outweigh my sins.

 

[CarolAnnC]

I believe in choosing my battles wisely. I would prefer a husband who views nude pictures to one who sleeps with the grocery checkout girl.

I would take a man who is absorbed in his computer any day over one who is abusive, demeaning, or unloving.

I believe it is not for people on earth to decide who is sinning and who is not. I cannot equate cold blooded murder with overindulging at a buffet dinner. Each day it seems I read about another child being kidnapped, molested, and/or killed. I read in my local newspapers more and more about priests abusing the children of their trusting parishioners.

I believe we will all be judged by God when our time comes.

In the meantime, I choose to make the most of my life with my loved ones here. Time is a gift you know.

 

[EROS]

JIPSY, your post is well-stated. Of course, I'm a sinner bound for hell so my opinions may not count for much .

However, I could see how one's addiction TO THE DIS could be MUCH MORE DESTRUCTIVE to a relationship than a loved one's involvement with pornography. Of course, we're such a RIGHTEOUS bunch around here that few would see indulgence in the DIS as "sinful". Yet, any addiction to the Internet can profoundly take time away from loved ones and REAL LIFE. I suppose that it all revolves around how one defines sin and immorality; If toooooooooooooooo much time devoted to the Internet is neither, then is it "OK"????? I think not, if it has a negative effect upon one's family and responsibilities .......

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by EROS
[few would see indulgence in the DIS as "sinful". Yet, any addiction to the Internet can profoundly take time away from loved ones and REAL LIFE.[/B]

Ditto for the boob tube and who knows how many other "addictions" and distractions.

 

[Kermit]

I think that any addiction can be bad for a relationship. Personally, I'm inclined to believe that porn can lead to other problems, so it may be a hair "worse" than other addictions, but that really doesn't matter. If you're neglecting your family, marriage, work, etc., then it's not good for you, whatever it is.

I don't think that any of us can list all of the things that can justify a person for being mad at his/her spouse. The fact of the matter is that anything that prevents you from having a fulfilling marriage can be a bad thing. One person may not mind porn specifically, but every couple has a right to have a happy, fulfilling marriage. Both spouses need to be willing to work together so that they're both happy. I truely believe that if you really love someone, you'll put that person's needs ahead of your own. Of course, if that person loves you back, his/her "needs" will be a smaller list of things that seriously add to that person's quality of life, not just demands that they make on a whim.

 

[Eeyore2U]

I think we are all addicted to something.

When I was a young airman I was told until something became a problem, ie missing work or something like it that, it wasn't a problem.

Is the addiction making someone miss work, or not meet responsibilties? Could it be, in Alias' case that she has changed and not him. I tried to read the her post but my feelings would not be PC.

 

[snoopy]

Hmmm, somehow I think the addiction of being a part of a Disney fansite community can hardly be compared with a husband getting up in the middle of the night, leaving the bed he shares with his wife, so he can go get freaky with an Internet porn site. I think there is a difference, a big one.

That being said, I do also think that any time where one partner is feeling neglected because of the other partner's interests and/or time spent away from the marriage should be considered a problem and something that needs to be worked on. If my husband had a problem with my DISing, my priorities would change and I would limit my time spent on the DIS. And I'd like to think that if I had a problem with his interests, which include working out, sports, etc., then he would also limit the time he spent doing those things to devote more time to me. To me, that is what love is about, sacrificing for your partner at times.

 

[Eeyore2U]

Originally posted by snoopy
Hmmm, somehow I think the addiction of being a part of a Disney fansite community can hardly be compared with a husband getting up in the middle of the night, leaving the bed he shares with his wife, so he can go get freaky with an Internet porn site. I think there is a difference, a big one.

Snoopy,

I disagee. Why is one different then the other? The bottom line is the addiction. Whether it is porn, drugs, alcohol or the DIS, it is the person's physical need to participate in the activity.

 

[snoopy]

Well, I guess its a difference of opinion then. If my marriage were to come to the point where my husband felt he had to get out of our bed to go fantasize with a computer screen, I'd have issues with that. Big ones. That is not to say that I think you would be wrong if you want to do it, or if you don't mind if your partner does it, or that it is a sin, its just my personal viewpoint. I would also have big issues if my husband were to have a drug addiction, or an alcohol addiction. I would think those things would be more serious than an addiction to posting on the DIS. I do think there are degrees to how serious an addiction can be, and how easy or difficult it might be to break the cycle.

Again, jmo.

 

[I <3 Eeyore]

I think Jipsy has made a great point in her post. An addiction is an addiction, whether it's to viewing nude women or DISing all day and night. Personally, I have no objection to viewing nudity. I was an art student for quite some time so the human body doesn't faze me. I have no objection to DISing either. But if I pursued either to the exclusion of my family/work responsibilities it would be harmful to my loved ones and me. If I pursued either over the strenuous objections of my spouse, then I would have to consider where my greatest priority should lie.

 

[Eeyore2U]

Originally posted by snoopy
Well, I guess its a difference of opinion then. If my marriage were to come to the point where my husband felt he had to get out of our bed to go fantasize with a computer screen, I'd have issues with that. Big ones. That is not to say that I think you would be wrong if you want to do it, or if you don't mind if your partner does it, or that it is a sin, its just my personal viewpoint. I would also have big issues if my husband were to have a drug addiction, or an alcohol addiction. I would think those things would be more serious than posting on the DIS.

Again, jmo.

I guess the physical need to do anything, to me is the same. I think we also need to know the reason a person would become addicted to anything. Somethings are chemical. Somethings may be in reaction to a situation. I think before one has an issue with addicted, the partner needs to see you if they had a part in the problem.

 

[EROS]

SNOOPY, I personally don't have a problem with my mate fantasizing to her heart's content . However, I WOULD have a problem is she was addicted to alcohol or cigarettes; others would not. It's all a matter of personal perspective. Would you be equally upset if your DH wanted to see a steamy R-rated movie????? It's pornographic to exhibit nudity or copulation, isn't it????? .

It's soooooooooooooooooooo easy to say that one would simply change one's behavior if a mate requested it . Unfortunately, that is NOT the way that human behavior works with addictions. Well-meaning and loving family members can BEG someone to "stop" an addiction, but without success.

 

[snoopy]

I was an art student for quite some time so the human body doesn't faze me.

I was an art student too, and I have no objection to viewing nudity either. I don't consider viewing nudity for the purpose of recreating it on canvass pornography.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Edited so as not to be strangely interpreted as a personnal attack.

 

[I <3 Eeyore]

I realize some will think this is simplistic, but I don't think it matters what the medium is. Whether it's a painting or photograph is irrelevant to me. There is art hanging in museums that was considered lewd at one point or another. You can get aroused viewing a painting as easily as a photo. I think it's in the obsession that the problem lies, not the material. But that's just me.

 

[TigerBear]

LOL, 6_Time_Momma. That is the funniest thing I have ever heard you say!!!!