"Acting Out" When Getting Divorced??

[belle&sebastiansmom]

My friend is going through a divorce, has been separated from her husband for a year. In that year, to paraphrase her, she's done things she knows her husband would never approve of. That includes getting 12 tattoos. Yes, 12, in a year. On Saturday, she got 4 major body piercings. To each is own, but 4 piercings at one time seems excessive. Before this she only had her ears pierced!

I've known her for a few years. I just wonder if her behavior is the real her that has been stifled all those years in an unhappy marriage, or if she's doing it to spite her husband and will regret it all later. I know the tattoos and piercings won't hurt her, but her other behaviors, like the many men she has coming in and out of her life, may.

If you've been through a divorce, did you find yourself "acting out"? Upon hindsight, was it new found freedom, or to spite your spouse?

 

[kellyg403]

I didn't "act out" like that, but I did try new things that would have been taboo. I did things to help me gain my independence etc.

I would say the men thing might be more of being scared. I have a friend that did something similar..but eventually she realized it was hurting her more than it was helping her. She said she finally came to the realization that she was scared no one would find her attractive again or that no one would want her so she went to great lengths to prove to herself that wasn't true. It only happened to make her more insecure.

As for the body art and piercings...maybe she is looking for more of what she wants to do with her own body without having to worry about what someone else wants/thinks she should do. Hopefully she has no regrets but the good news is she has some options later on down the road.

So, in a nutshell..maybe she is acting out. Maybe not. Everyone deals differently. Me, I never wanted anything to do with another man, I wanted to be independent to a fault with ZERO help from anybody etc. to the point I would make my life harder.

Kelly

 

[NMAmy]

I'm such a wild woman--I threw away the ugly comforter set that my ex had insisted upon and bought a very girly, yellow floral patterned comforter and sheets. Yeah, I know how to live it up.

Everyone deals with it differently--I've known some women who date a whole lot of men and others who don't want another man around at all.

 

[pandora174]

I have a friend who married very young & after 15 years her husband left her. She started drinking, smoking the wacky tobacco & dating a lot of men. Mostly younger unstable types. I tried to give her advice since she had a 9 year old son. She was still a good friend so I was just was there for her & babysat a lot . It lasted 5 years until one day she met a good man & she settled down & stopped the crazy behavior & even found Jesus. In her opinion she never lived her youth so this was her chance.

 

[Jennasis]

My sister got a tattoo and went through a year or so of "speed dating". She had fun and then found a super guy whom she has been seriously involved with for almost a year and a half. Sometimes you gotta get it out of your system.