? about teacher's comment to dd???

[Daxx]

Wasn't Oksana the one who, at age 19, drove under the influence, crashed her car and entered rehab for alcohol problems? Yep, excellent role model that one is.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I believe she has turned her life around. The last interview I saw with her she was sincerely sorry for the mistakes she had made and was letting others know it was a huge mistake. I would say "yes, an excellent roll model". I feel bad for her between the life she had growing up (despite which, she must have been a very dedicated, hard-working, and disciplined young girl to achieve what she did) , the instant fame and fortune, and the huge change in cultures when she moved here - combined with her young age - I can see where that could lead to problems. The bottom line is she grew up and turned it around. I would be happy to have my young DD hear her story and see her as a role model.

Shouldn't matter if it is the President, an athlete, whatever. If a child has an outside interest - I think it is fine to occassionally miss school, if you are encouraging your child's interests - as others have said school is not the only place to learn or to persue interests/knowledge.

 

[disykat]

For me the issue I disagree with the OP about isn't taking the child out of school - it's being surprised that the teacher would notice the child left sick and then showed up on the front page of the paper at the event - and then daring to comment on it.

I would actually have wondered why they didn't notice if it never came up.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Daxx,

So, once again, you are openly passing judgements.

Passing your own personal negative self-righteous judgements and openly Parent-Bashing because all of us have not run out and adopted from Foster Care. (And, many have!!!)

Passing your own personal negative self-righteous judgments regarding Oksana....

You have no right to issue these judgments.
They have nothing at all to do with 'teaching'.
It is blatant and unwarranted Parent-Bashing, pure and simple.

Your true colors are showing.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

I guess we'll agree to disagree then, because IMO, if you're checking your child out of school early AND lying about the reason you're doing so, then the school does have a say in that.

That's just plain silly.

Though I agree it is wrong to lie about why you are taking your child out of school early, it is of no concern of the school and they have no grounds for having a problem with it.

 

[monsterkitty]

Daxx,

So, once again, you are openly passing judgements.

Passing your own personal negative self-righteous judgements and openly Parent-Bashing because all of us have not run out and adopted from Foster Care. (And, many have!!!)

Passing your own personal negative self-righteous judgments regarding Oksana....

You have no right to issue these judgments.
They have nothing at all to do with 'teaching'.
It is blatant and unwarranted Parent-Bashing, pure and simple.

Your true colors are showing.

You're killing me here!

I have yet to see you ever post anything positive about a teacher or school. I will admit that I am new here and haven't gone back to read every one of your posts. However, the ones I have read do nothing but bash teachers.

Talk about showing your colors.

 

[disykat]

Daxx,

So, once again, you are openly passing judgements.

Passing your own personal negative self-righteous judgements and openly Parent-Bashing because all of us have not run out and adopted from Foster Care. (And, many have!!!)

Passing your own personal negative self-righteous judgments regarding Oksana....

You have no right to issue these judgments.
They have nothing at all to do with 'teaching'.
It is blatant and unwarranted Parent-Bashing, pure and simple.

Your true colors are showing.

I'm going to assume, especially since you were the one who brought up foster care, that this is your little sarcasic jab at those of us who have accused you of "teacher bashing". There's a difference - we are calling YOU a teacher basher. We are not coloring all parents with the same brush - as you seem to do on thread after thread about teachers.

 

[poohandwendy]

Though I agree it is wrong to lie about why you are taking your child out of school early, it is of no concern of the school and they have no grounds for having a problem with it.

If they have state mandated attendance requirements, it absolutely is the schools business. In PA, private schools are REQUIRED to furnish "the name of any child absent 3 days or the equivalent without lawful excuse. School administrators failing to comply with the reporting requirements may be fined".

 

[Tigger&Belle]

For me the issue I disagree with the OP about isn't taking the child out of school - it's being surprised that the teacher would notice the child left sick and then showed up on the front page of the paper at the event - and then daring to comment on it.

I would actually have wondered why they didn't notice if it never came up.

I agreee with this!


I can't believe this thread is still going (and going and going).

 

[MrsPete]

Shouldn't matter if it is the President, an athlete, whatever. If a child has an outside interest - I think it is fine to occassionally miss school, if you are encouraging your child's interests - as others have said school is not the only place to learn or to persue interests/knowledge.

I woudln't have a problem with a child checking out of school for the afternoon for something that is genuinely a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity -- especially in this case as it probably would've been impossible several hours later.

The problem is that she "checked out sick" THEN went to a fun event. It does give the teacher reason to say, "HMMMM". No one likes to be lied to, and from the teacher's end of things, that's what appears to have happened.

 

[MrsPete]

I agree. That premise is ridiculous. Teachers do have their own lives outside of work, you know.

When I go to the movies on Fri or Sat nights (which I've stopped doing lately), I see TONS of the kids from my school.... a lot of my students. I'm appalled by some of the things these 8th grade girls are wearing, but if I happen to catch their eye, I just smile and wave and go on with my night.

I am also appauled to see my students wearing little more than swimsuit tops and cut-off jeans to the movie theater or the mall. I am appauled to see them standing outside smoking (hopefully only cigarettes) with boys too old for them, but I never say anything to them about these "out of school choices" because it's not my place. Still, it's hard for me to look at them the same way once they're back in my classroom.

 

[Daxx]

Daxx,

So, once again, you are openly passing judgements.

Passing your own personal negative self-righteous judgements and openly Parent-Bashing because all of us have not run out and adopted from Foster Care. (And, many have!!!)

Passing your own personal negative self-righteous judgments regarding Oksana....

You have no right to issue these judgments.
They have nothing at all to do with 'teaching'.
It is blatant and unwarranted Parent-Bashing, pure and simple.

Your true colors are showing.

I have no rights to judge people, yet you're judging me!?!?!?

I didn't bash anyone adopting - from foster care, overseas, locally or otherwise.

You said the village failed those in foster care ... so obviously, you're bashing those parents in "the village" who aren't adopting children from foster care!

And, stop sending me nasty pm's. I will not read them. I see your name and know to delete them b/c I refuse to let you judge me in PM's. I could care less what you think about me and will not allow you to bully me.

 

[Daxx]

No one likes to be lied to

Yep! Regardless of your position in life ... whether you're a teacher, a parent, a CEO, a doctor, a sales clerk, etc. (and I don't want anyone to feel left out of this, thus anyone think I am bashing receptionists for not including them) ... nobody likes to be lied to.

 

[hydster]

I'm not going to pass judgement on the OP about the situation as #1 it's over and done with and there is no changing it and #2 I think this is a perfect time for mom to teach her dd that in all aspects of life, there are choices to be made. Some of those choices yield very positive consequences, some of the choices yield less than positive consequences (like here as I see it) and some of the choices will yield the worst consequences.

The child at age 11 (I have a 12 yr old dd) doesn't have the foresight and knowledge about life and consequences such as this, but, the parent should. When they went to the ice rink and the picture was taken, at that point, the thought should have entered the parents mind that maybe this will yield a less than favorable consequence for the daughter when the daughter left school early to go home ill. Is it right that it would probably yield a less than favorable consequence? Probably not but every single choice in life yields a consequence. The parent should be able and willing to help their child and themselves handle whatever consequence is handed them be it good or bad.

Tell the dd that maybe that wasn't a wise decision that was made by either of you and move on to the next time where you will probably need to help her with choice and accountability.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

And the ironic thing is that this whole situation would have been a non-issue if the mom (or daughter, but I know that my 12yo wouldn't have spoken up) had of just talked to the teacher when he said something to them. They could have just said, "We came home and she rested and felt well enough to go to the signing. Ordinarily, when coming home sick, I would have kept her in for the rest of the day, but this something that she likely won't get to do again and since she was feeling better we decided to go".

 

[poohandwendy]

And the ironic thing is that this whole situation would have been a non-issue if the mom (or daughter, but I know that my 12yo wouldn't have spoken up) had of just talked to the teacher when he said something to them. They could have just said, "We came home and she rested and felt well enough to go to the signing. Ordinarily, when coming home sick, I would have kept her in for the rest of the day, but this something that she likely won't get to do again and since she was feeling better we decided to go".

Exactly. And I think the fact that the OP didn't speak up for her DD after it was mentioned (a few times from the way she described it), does nothing but give the teacher more reason to suspect it was 'playing hooky' rather than a legit situation.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I do agree that there was probably the 'appearance of impropriety'!!!
Thank goodness that the whole thing simply just blew-over.


Unfortunately, this thread has moved well beyond this little incident that the OP mentioned. The heated debate here is "Do teachers have the right to any input at all into what a Parent and Child do after school hours".

I very strongly believe that they should not.
I would never feel that I had to answer to my childs teacher for any matter in our private life. I do not expect a teacher to feel it is Okay to be watching my back.

Others seem to feel otherwise.

If my childs teacher does not feel that Oksana (or whomever) is an appropriate role model for my child, that is fine. But the teacher has no right to subject others to their opinion. He/She has no right to issue judgements.

Just a note here; Also regarding the negative comments about Oksana... and comparing to the President. Hey, Presidents of the United States of America have also been guilty of drinking, indfidelity outside of marriage, and every other conceivable sin... So, are they also unnacceptable role models?

Even if the child is absent from school... That is an administrative issue, as outlined in written attendance policy. (Not a personal issue between a teacher and a child) Most schools allow a certain number of 'unexcused' absences. My reasons for pulling my child out of school, as long as my child meets required attendance levels, is simply non of the teachers business. And, most especially, A teacher has no right to question my child about the issue.

 

[jewellmmc]

So what? She is eleven! It isn't like she is in grade twelve and skipped an exam! You're the parent and she's your kid! No need for the teacher to butt in on your judgement.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Daxx, I have not 'judged' you here simply because you are a teacher.

I am objecting to issues that have nothing to do with teaching. This is not indiscriminate Teacher-Bashing. I have pointed out you are openly issuing negative and self-righteous judgments of others, outside of the realm of your classroom. My objection is that you seem to feel that, as a teacher, you have the right and obligation to do so?

You have gone well beyond defending your role as a teacher here. Parent bashing and even Oksana bashing...

Do you expect to issue these negative judgements, that are totally non-related to teaching, and not get a response?

 

[poohandwendy]

Even if the child is absent from school... That is an administrative issue, as outlined in written attendance policy. (Not a personal issue between a teacher and a child) Most schools allow a certain number of 'unexcused' absences. My reasons for pulling my child out of school, as long as my child meets required attendance levels, is simply non of the teachers business. And, most especially, A teacher has no right to question my child about the issue.

Honestly, did anyone really get the impression that the teacher was making a huge, big deal out of it? If he was, he could have taken this to another level and told the principal that there was an attendance issue. He does have the authority to do so as teachers are the ones who report attendance to the administration. Doesn't sound like he did.

IMO, sounds like he was poking a bit of harmless fun and maybe just wanted to open the door to asking her how it went and what it was like. We will never know because the OP didn't even pen the conversation to find out why he made the remarks he did.

Sheesh, some people act like he was interrogating the child and getting in the family business in an extremely personal way. This could have turned into a nice 'get to know the teacher better' conversation with only a very small amount of openness from the OP. I see it as an opportunity lost rather than a horrible teacher experience. JMHO.