? about teacher's comment to dd???

[Feralpeg]

I think the teacher was out of line, but I wouldn't make a big deal about it. She was sick and probably wouldn't have functioned well in school. However, meeting an idol is something that only happens a few times in a child's life. I would have taken her also.

 

[golfgal]

My beautiful, talented, creative little girl is humiliated by things like this every day. Her IQ is low, but not low enough for special services, and the discrepancy between ability and achievement isn't great enough for services. So she has to muddle through and get bad grades. It's so degrading for her to have precious little Susie grade her paper and write a big fat F across the top and tease her about it later.

I think it's wrong, wrong, wrong. I'd like to know where teachers learned this sort of tactic, because I sure as hell never learned it in MY ed psych classes.

Count me as proud of having a "sensitive" daughter. Things like this hurt her, but she's also sensitive enough not to treat others this same way.

And then there are some schools where the students will take kids like this under their wing and help them along. One of DS's best friends has mild CP and while his IQ is up there, he has some major processing problems that really prevents him from doing that well in basic school stuff. The kids in his class all help him out-read things out loud to him so he can process it-and then he does fine-help write things for him when his hands refuse to cooperate, etc. His parents don't treat him like a child with CP and it shows.

 

[WIcruizer]

I have a question. Would the OP rather be required to meet with the principal to explain her actions? I think she got off easy. Casual comments made by a teacher, hoping the message would get through in an informal manner. As in "this wasn't right...not the end of the world, but you may want to think about it before doing it again."

Also, I have to say this. The old mantra of "teachers can't tell me or my precious child what to do" is troubling, and just plain wrong. Especially at a private school. When you enroll, you agree to certain rules. Life is full of rules. So are schools. Just because we are the parents, it doesn't give us the moral or "legal" right to choose which rules fit.

 

[Marseeya]

And then there are some schools where the students will take kids like this under their wing and help them along. One of DS's best friends has mild CP and while his IQ is up there, he has some major processing problems that really prevents him from doing that well in basic school stuff. The kids in his class all help him out-read things out loud to him so he can process it-and then he does fine-help write things for him when his hands refuse to cooperate, etc. His parents don't treat him like a child with CP and it shows.

I think it's a little different with something like that. Teachers and other students don't have a lot of tolerance for what they perceive as "stupidity." If she had a more visible disability, I bet it would be different. My DD is very slow and it takes her forever to do things -- people lose patience with her very easily. She doesn't speak very fluently, so many times the other kids will cut her off, or the teacher will finish what she's trying to say rather than letting her puzzle it out herself.

She did have one friend, however, who was totally brilliant. The kid was a true prodigy, and would do peer tutoring with my DD and it was a wonderful thing. I think peer tutoring is fabulous and I really love the classrooms that utilize it. Unfortunately, that little girl moved away and I haven't seen much of the peer tutoring in our local schools.

I've got to do a lot of confidence boosting at home to rebuild what she loses at school. Music lessons has been a great help with that! Finding something she's good at has been a real help.

Anyway, we're pretty OT here. Gotta love when that happens!

 

[Marseeya]

I have a question. Would the OP rather be required to meet with the principal to explain her actions? I think she got off easy. Casual comments made by a teacher, hoping the message would get through in an informal manner. As in "this wasn't right...not the end of the world, but you may want to think about it before doing it again."

I said this earlier in the thread, but I think an 11 year old should be old enough to handle herself in a confrontation like that. But any younger, then personally, I'd rather handle it with a principal! Why should that be such a bad thing?

 

[maryliz]

Have to add that I don't think the OP lied to the school. DD came home sick, was feeling better later and she took her out. For something like this, I would have done the same thing. However, if it had been a regular weekly activity that night, I would have made her stay home.

I too have called in sick, and after meds and sleeping the morning away, have felt great. However, I make it a rule to go nowhere but the drug store for more meds on days like that. My luck would be that I'd have a car accident and have to explain to my boss the next day why I was too sick to be at work but could go to the grocery store the same day

I don't think the teacher was out of line. He has the right to question a sickness absence that miraculously gets better coincident with an event the kids wanted to do. However, as a parent, I would have chimed in "yep, she was feeling so much better so I took her to the event". Show's the teacher I understand where he was coming from, but also letting him know that I'm the Mom and I get to make those decisions in my household. I also think he was making a point to other kids that you do get caught in this life ... and that's a good thing to show kids these days.

MaryLiz

 

[disykat]

I don't get how anyone can think the teacher was "out of line" when we don't don't what he said? Like some others here, my immediate reaction was that he was probably teasing her. I didn't see anything that said he was scolding her.

Here's what we know so far:

The teacher noticed she was gone from school.
The teacher noticed one of his students in the paper.
The teacher took the time to acknowledge both to the student in some fashion (I still don't know what he said).

Taking into account the fact that I don't know what he said, am I weird in that I actually jumped to a GOOD conclusion about this teacher?

 

[MinnieM3]

I still think the OP was wrong to take her out of school for being SO sick and then let her go to the skating rink.

An option for the OP I think would have been, go see DD at school, have temp. taken, give her her nebulizer treatment in the nurse's office (we have kids do this all the time at my school), have DD lie down for a while, and then consult with DD about how she feels and whether or not she feels like she can hang in there the rest of the day (MISSING is WHAT TIME the OP took her home), reminding her that it's Oksana Day at the rink and that she'll have to miss it if she's so sick that she must miss school. Then let DD make up her mind about how she feels. Doesn't sound like she was horribly ill. Then maybe DD would have chosen to stay in school, get her work done, go get her autograph and do to bed. If she was still sick, she could recoup at home the next day. More honest approach.

 

[LanaJayne]

I think it is important to be honest with yourself as to why you took your daughter out of school. It appears that the autograph session began at 3 pm. (as per the press release)

I agree that you have the right to make the decision as to why she should miss school. I also think that it is very important not to lie and especially important not to have your daughter tell a fib to miss school. If she needed to leave early to be at the Center before 3, I would have informed the school in advance that I would need to pick her up early due to a personal reason. I don't think the school should have a problem with this.

I'm glad that your daughter got to get Oksana's autograph and was in the paper. These should be wonderful memories.

This should open up some good conversations between right and wrong with your daughter.



Current Press Releases for the Peoria Civic Center


Olympic Gold Medalist Oksana Baiul to sign autographs at Northwoods Mall on Monday, Nov. 7
November 4, 2005

Olympic Gold Medalist Oksana Baiul will be signing autographs at Northwoods Mall this coming Monday, November 7, 2005, at 3:00 p.m. The public is invited to attend. Ms. Baiul will be in Peoria promoting “Ice Wars: Battle of the Sexes,” which is coming to the Peoria Civic Center Arena on Thursday, November 17, 2005, at 7 p.m.

 

[CheshireVal]

My beautiful, talented, creative little girl is humiliated by things like this every day. Her IQ is low, but not low enough for special services, and the discrepancy between ability and achievement isn't great enough for services. So she has to muddle through and get bad grades. It's so degrading for her to have precious little Susie grade her paper and write a big fat F across the top and tease her about it later.

I think it's wrong, wrong, wrong. I'd like to know where teachers learned this sort of tactic, because I sure as hell never learned it in MY ed psych classes.

Count me as proud of having a "sensitive" daughter. Things like this hurt her, but she's also sensitive enough not to treat others this same way.

Um, where do you get any humiliation out of the OPs story? I dont' think it's healthy for children to be so sensitive that they can't handle anything at all for themselves.

 

[Pembo]

Can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Feralpeg. Meeting an idol is a once in a lifetime chance and I would have done it too.

The teacher should keep his comments to himself. His comment was unneccessary imho.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

[quoteIt's so degrading for her to have precious little Susie grade her paper and write a big fat F across the top and tease her about it later. [/quote]

Well then let me add to the list.
An action like that also would NEVER be tolerated in our school. Susie's Mom and Dad would be in meeting with the Teacher and Principal PDQ and Susie's little behind would be up on the bad girl wall for a good many recesses.

 

[poohandwendy]

I dunno, I am finding it hard to believe that the DD just happened to end up first in line at a 3 pm autograph session, after leaving school early with a sickness and just so happening to wake up feeling well enough to be there on time to be first in line. Just seems a wee bit convenient, but whatever.

I think the teacher was well within his right to mention it. It sounds like he didn't buy the story either. And if the OP really thought it was a legit situation and didn't feel 'busted', she would have explained it right then and there to the teacher, as he mentioned it more than once in front of her. JMHO

I would definitely let it go.

 

[Planogirl]

It bothers me that so many people seem to see teachers as enemies nowadays. They are responsible for our kids for several hours each day and I'd rather work with them than against them.

Also, this bit "they are my kids and I'll do what I want with them" is odd too. We only have them for a little while and then they have to deal with the big bad world all alone. That includes bosses, strangers, store clerks and so on, even teachers!

 

[cats mom]

I think it is important to be honest with yourself as to why you took your daughter out of school. It appears that the autograph session began at 3 pm. (as per the press release)


Olympic Gold Medalist Oksana Baiul will be signing autographs at Northwoods Mall this coming Monday, November 7, 2005, at 3:00 p.m. The public is invited to attend. Ms. Baiul will be in Peoria promoting “Ice Wars: Battle of the Sexes,” which is coming to the Peoria Civic Center Arena on Thursday, November 17, 2005, at 7 p.m.

Hmm....

Guess there would be no way OP's DD could have been 1st in line for a 3:00 appearance without getting out of school early.
If she had not been feeling sick, were you planning on letting her leave school early to go to the autograph session?
Really none of our business I know - just curious.

I think I'm pretty firmly with the BUSTED camp now... especially knowing what time the appearance was.

Sorry OP, I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Hmmm, a 3PM autograph session? That changes the story a little--I thought it was in the evening. Of course if she had of stayed at school the whole day it's entirely possible that school ends well before 3pm and she could have made it there without missing any school.

 

[eeyoreiscool]

Some of the schools around here get out at 2:00. So I could go get my kid and still make it to something that started at 3:00. Although I may not be the first in line if this happened.

 

[Planogirl]

Our school gets out at 4. Interesting....

 

[suzannen]

I think the teacher was absolutely correct in saying something. Kids need to learn that actions and decisions have consequences and they need to own up to responsibility for their choices - in this case choosing to stand in line and be first for a signature and being photographed - after deciding to leave school for an illness. My DD's private school also lets the kids know that just because they are out of school, they still represent the "community" of the school and their actions could reflect on the school. They are told to always be mindful of their behavior because they just never know when the headmaster, coaches or teachers will run into them or see them in their outside life.

 

[Skylarr29]

I think it was uncalled for..... I wonder why teachers and schools "think" they can tell you how to raise your child. Its YOUR child and you can do what you feel is right .. and its no ones business except yours. I would probably tell that to the teacher. I wouldnt go to the principal unless the teacher continued to make a big deal. Teachers are there to teach, love and nurture...not to make rude, condasending(sp?) remarks to little kids. I'd be a little more ticked than you seem to be.


Sometimes kids just need to be KIDS. She did something that was a once in a lifetime. There is more to teaching kids than just books.... You have to teach them about life, and family, goals etc.