? about remembering relatives who have passed away

[Tinkerbell424]

I picked the anniversary of their death. But I do sometimes think of my dad almost everyday in some way. I especially think of him on the day that he passed.

 

[snykymom]

In the Jewish tradition, one lights a memorial candle and says the mourner's prayer (Kaddish) for a deceased relative on the anniversary of their death in the Hebrew calendar (their Yarzeit). Because it's the Hebrew date, it's not the same date every year on the "normal" calendar, since the Hebrew year is a lunar one and the normal one is a solar one. (That's why the dates of the Jewish holidays move around, too, on the normal calendar.) Congregations will send out reminders of the date of the Yarzeit.

That being said, I also tend to remember my loved ones more on their birthdays than on their secular dates of death. I tried to remember those dates when they were alive, so it's a habit to attach that meaning to the date even after they're gone.

 

[TnTsParty]

I'm sorry that I made you feel sad, it was not my intent.

I am struggling with something today and thought maybe my feelings were because I was looking at something differently than I should. I was hoping to maybe see a bigger picture by asking this question and getting others thoughts.

I know there is no right or wrong way to grieve and remember a lost loved one, but I was hoping to see if my own feelings were too narrow on the subject, which could prevent me me from understanding the whole picture.

Again, I am sorry to make anyone sad

That's ok SleepyMom - I actually was already sad before I read your post so it wasn't you post specifically that made me sad. Hope the answers here helped you in what you were struggling with. I am normally a very happy person so I am hoping smiles and laughter for everyone!!

 

[Buckalew11]

 

[Tuffcookie]

Brenda...

It will be 4 years this Dec. for my DM.

And that is so like, Dan, being so thoughtful!

TC

 

[browneyes106]

I lost my brother in 2000 and I tend to remember on birthday on the anniversary of this death. His birthday is November 14th. So for the month of November I'm wearing a teardrop pendant of his birthstone. I will take some flowers to his gave on his birthday and death anniversary. My parents also prepare his favorite meal on his birthday.

 

[browneyes106]

I think of my Nana most days out of nowhere. If I smell mothballs, I am instantly reminded of her. Her house always had a slight smell of mothballs from all of her stored blankets and table linens... Amazing what you remember, right?

With other family members who have passed it is the same. I think of them on their birthdays and anniversaries, but I also think of them when I do something they'd like or when I need a little encouragement or whatever.

I think of my son the most, though. When I put out our Christmas stockings or when I see a little boy and he just catches my eye...

My boyfriend is also reminded of his great grandmother through the smell of mothballs. His great grandma lived with his grandparents for many years and he said her room always had the smell of mothballs.

 

[mrsstats]

I do birthdays, mothers day, fathers day, Christmas (not on the day but earlier as we put down a grave blanket and Easter or Palm Sunday. The day they died is not a day I wish to "celebrate"

 

[DawnM]

My Grandmother's birthday was Dec. 16. When I was planning my 2nd son's C-section I asked if we could do it on Dec. 16 so they could share a birthday. My Grandma had been gone for years by that time, but I still remember her birthday.

Dawn