? about registry on pre-intimate wedding party invites

[angey77]

Need some opinions here.
The day before we leave for our intimate WDW wedding, my fiance's mom and two cousins are throwing us a party (for my fiance's friends and family) in celebration of the upcoming marriage.
There is some debate over here as to the invites. Should we include the registry information? One says it is tacky, while others say it is OK since it is not a wedding invite. This will, however, be the only party for those guests to attend for the wedding.
Any opinions?

 

[jamie0201]

If I understand what you are saying correctly, there is nothing wrong with putting in the registry information. Did you have a shower?

Jamie

 

[angey77]

I have had a shower, but it was with very close girlfriends only. The only people who will be in attendence at this party that were at the shower are my fiance's mother and sister.

 

[inloveindisney]

I say that it is ok because it is kinda like a shower. As I recall, it is ok to put registry information in a shower invite.

 

[Merandab4]

Ettiquette is that you may put registry information in bridal shower invites, but NEVER wedding invites.

With that being said, I think (now this is just my opinion) including registry information in anything is quite tacky. Although we did register, we didn't include it in any of the invites.
However, when it came time for my Bridal shower, my Best Friend knew where we were registered, so if anyone had asked, she could tell them.

As far as your pre-wedding party goes, I'm sure you are not expecting gifts from these people, (although most people will probably bring one anyway. If they are really concerned about getting you something off of the registry, they will ask around. So make sure you tell a relative or close friend where you are registered, or i'm sure people may just ask you yourself.

Since we were married in Disney, and not had everyone there that we would have had there had we had a traditional wedding at home, We didn't want to make anyone feel obligated to get us a gift when they weren't even coming to the wedding. Knowing that they wouldn't be coming to the wedding, we were just greatful enough for what ever they gifted us with.

With that being said, we did host a post wedding party/Open house (probably similar to what you are hosting before you leave) And we got plenty of nice gifts and lots of cash!

Personally, I think it's nicer when people pick out gifts from their heart instead of from a list. You'd be surprised of the things some people come up with. you'll probably get stuff that you didn't even know you needed or wanted. but it will all be good!

Okay, sorry this turned into a long post.
I'm sure everyone will have their own opinion on this, and in the end it will be your own personal preference.

Good luck with whatever you choose and have a WONDERFUL wedding. It will be so magical!

 

[diswedwish]

We registered even though I never had a shower, and we didn't have after or pre-wedding party at home. We did it mainly so we could use the discount afterwards (just registered for casual china). I think we got maybe 8 things from our registry and that was it. Almost everyone else (family and friends) gave us $, even though we never had a party. The few gifts we did get were a surprise, and we really loved everything we got - every gift was picked out with thought and care and that meant a lot to us.

So I guess, if you're particular as to what you get, include your registry info. If not, I'm sure anyone who wants to purchase from your registry will ask around and find out where you're registered.

On the other hand, if you're not the one making the invites you get to leave the decision in the hands of your FMIL

HTH

 

[bopper]

No, etiquette says that you NEVER include registry information in your invitation. Any invitation. By doing so, it indicates that you are expecting gifts and in fact are telling your guests exactly what and where to get it!

If guests would like ideas for what to get you, they can ask your MOH or someone and they can refer your guests to your directory.

See www.etiquettehell.com for more info.

 

[angey77]

Oh, so many conflicting opions on etiquette! There needs to be a council on etiquette or something with a final say, because after reading through this, I found more confliction on theknot.com

Q. Is it all right to enclose a card from the store where the bride is registered in the shower invitation?

A. Definitely. The shower really is a gift party; the whole point is to outfit the bride (ahem, the couple -- let's move into the 21st century here!) with stuff for the newlywed home. So yes, it's okay to insert those store cards about her registry into the invitations. The place where those cards don't belong is the wedding invitation.

 

[bopper]

Then again www.topweddings.com says:

My fiancé and I have registered at three different stores. Each store gave us little cards to include in the invitations. My mother and I have gotten in a huge fight about whether or not it is proper to include the little cards or not. I say why would the store give them to you otherwise. My mother says if someone wants to buy a gift off the registry, they will call to ask what stores we have chosen. The invitations need to go out soon. Please help settle this matter.

Dear Shopper,

First, I highly recommend you call your mother immediately to apologize for your behavior. The fact that you thought a retail store would have your best interest at heart, but not your mother, is just horrid. The store’s objective is to make money. Please keep that in mind. Your mother’s objective is to raise a well-mannered daughter. Your mother is correct. The little cards from the store remain on her writing desk until a guest calls to inquire where you are registered. Then, and only then, will your mother share the information with the guest.