This morning my daughter, who just turned 18 last month called me from school. She was hysterical because she just learned that an ex-boyfriend of hers who she has remained very close to was dead. He died last night at 1:30am in a single car crash on the highway minutes from our house, minutes from his own house.
Tests have confirmed what we all knew already-- that alcohol was NOT involved. He wasn't really that kind of kid. He was a nice, charismatic beyond his years, ambitious 17 year old. Less than 3 months from graduation and prom.
A nicer kid you couldn't find. He seemed mature beyond his years. He owned his own business and had won awards for his entrepreneurial skills. He was so alive. Always on the go with his business, his fathers business or his many friends.
I would never want to blame his parents for what happened but I can't help sit and wonder why this happened. I guess it is natural to try to comfort ourselves by thinking that it can't happen to our kids because we don't allow them in unsafe circumstances. I have a 22 year old DS and 18 year old DD and 7 year old DD. I still can keep my DD7 safe most of the time but I keep having to face that I can't always be sure that my older kids are okay. I still try to have some rules and guidelines for the 18 year old but as they both remind me "they are adults and can make their own decisions".
He was an only child to very well to do parents. He acted like and adult and they treated him as one. He had a $45,000 car, no real limitations from his parents, no curfew. I can't help wonder why a 17 year old was allowed out on a school night at 1:30 in the morning? Why he had a a huge car with a roll cage in it that made him feel invincible? Why someone wasn't protecting that child....
HE drove a Jeep Wrangler that was all souped up and had some kind of roll cage in it...he used to say even if he had an accident he would be fine since his car was a huge SUV with all kinds of safety features. No one for saw him loosing control at excessive speeds, going off the highway flying into the air and barreling into a bridge abutment.
We may never know why he lost control. He had dropped off a friend at 1:20 and was one exit away from home when he died so falling asleep seems unlikely. He was well known to text message multiple people at the same time while driving and like most kids his age he was obsessed with music and his fancy audio system. Maybe he was texting or switching tunes.
I guess my warning is about speeding or texting while driving or playing with the tunes in the car. But I guess I am reminded that even young adults need guidelines and rules because their judgment is not always the best.
Sorry this so rambling but I am so shaken by this hitting so close to home. My daughter would go places with him and I would comfort myself by thinking even if there was an accident it would be here in town at low speeds in this HUGE over grown SUV. The first time he took her out I looked him in the eye and said "Drive carefully with my baby" and he said he would.
RIP Thomas
Tests have confirmed what we all knew already-- that alcohol was NOT involved. He wasn't really that kind of kid. He was a nice, charismatic beyond his years, ambitious 17 year old. Less than 3 months from graduation and prom.
A nicer kid you couldn't find. He seemed mature beyond his years. He owned his own business and had won awards for his entrepreneurial skills. He was so alive. Always on the go with his business, his fathers business or his many friends.
I would never want to blame his parents for what happened but I can't help sit and wonder why this happened. I guess it is natural to try to comfort ourselves by thinking that it can't happen to our kids because we don't allow them in unsafe circumstances. I have a 22 year old DS and 18 year old DD and 7 year old DD. I still can keep my DD7 safe most of the time but I keep having to face that I can't always be sure that my older kids are okay. I still try to have some rules and guidelines for the 18 year old but as they both remind me "they are adults and can make their own decisions".
He was an only child to very well to do parents. He acted like and adult and they treated him as one. He had a $45,000 car, no real limitations from his parents, no curfew. I can't help wonder why a 17 year old was allowed out on a school night at 1:30 in the morning? Why he had a a huge car with a roll cage in it that made him feel invincible? Why someone wasn't protecting that child....
HE drove a Jeep Wrangler that was all souped up and had some kind of roll cage in it...he used to say even if he had an accident he would be fine since his car was a huge SUV with all kinds of safety features. No one for saw him loosing control at excessive speeds, going off the highway flying into the air and barreling into a bridge abutment.
We may never know why he lost control. He had dropped off a friend at 1:20 and was one exit away from home when he died so falling asleep seems unlikely. He was well known to text message multiple people at the same time while driving and like most kids his age he was obsessed with music and his fancy audio system. Maybe he was texting or switching tunes.
I guess my warning is about speeding or texting while driving or playing with the tunes in the car. But I guess I am reminded that even young adults need guidelines and rules because their judgment is not always the best.
Sorry this so rambling but I am so shaken by this hitting so close to home. My daughter would go places with him and I would comfort myself by thinking even if there was an accident it would be here in town at low speeds in this HUGE over grown SUV. The first time he took her out I looked him in the eye and said "Drive carefully with my baby" and he said he would.
RIP Thomas
