Forget TGM. Forget Touringplans.com. Forget hanging out on the Disboards for the sole purpose of perfecting a path through the World that encompasses all four parks in one day, with room to spare for an afternoon siesta back at the resort. After decades of WDW trips, here's the only plan I really tolerate: Go to WDW the one week of the year when you can walk on any ride any time you want. Sleep in. Play. Eat. Swim. Eat. Play some more. Eat. Oh, and, right, don't forget the dirty martinis - apparently the only drink you can order anywhere in the World that really has alcohol in it (though I'm betting they probably have to put a wee bit of alcohol in a Manhattan; I'll have to try that next time). Now there's a plan I can live with, over and over again.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the plan for this trip. The plan for this trip involved seducing two long time friends into a life-long love affair with a Mouse. That means we actually had to go to the parks. That means we actually had to wait in lines (but not too many and not too long - at a time of year that is supposed to be "low," but which, after this trip, I've come to believe rivals the worst of what June and July has to offer - not that I actually know anymore what crowds look like in July and August - it's been two decades since I've treated myself to that pleasure!). That means I had to actually visit all those planyourwaythroughtheworld.com sites, sift through it all based on my years of mouse touring, and devise a plan so that they could "feel the love" as efficiently and effectively as possible. And if I do say so myself, I accomplished this task so effectively that, for example, I actually got six adults through every major attraction in MK on a
MVMCP night, while enjoying all the shows (save one), Holiday Wishes, the Parade, and dinner at the Crystal Palace. Sheesh. But that's another day.
All I had to do on this day was get us from AKL to Epcot, so that we could redeem our AP vouchers for the real thing, get us through Epcot (and those god-awful crowds, bah humbug!), safe to the international gate, from which we could then exit to the Epcot resorts, check in at BCV, pray for Danny and John to arrive without incident from their experience of Magical Express, freshen everybody up, get back over to Rose and Crown for one mini-friends-of-disney meet, have a wonderful meal in faux Britian with our British friend (I thought this was brilliant; as we'll learn later - not so much), meet up with another disboard friend, closely monitor the alcohol intake so that we actually survive the carefully crafted itinerary, and call it a night. Well, OK, that was the plan.
Here's how it actually went: We arrived at Epcot without incident at around 12 noon and were immediately thrown into one hell of a line - with a Pirate, a pirate wearing more pins that I own - and I own a few. He was a convivial pirate, but he was still a pirate and I was trying very hard to be appropriately sympathetic to his recent experiences of Hurricane Katrina, which include having his home destroyed and his life turned upside down, while he's dressed as a pirate. Welcome Home! At some point, as he was sharing some of what he's been through, a manager came out and assured my family and the Pirate that if we moved all the way to the other end of the gate, we could find a window that would accomplish our purposes with absolutely no line.
NO LINES, you say? I'm so gullible. We moved. I'm quite sure he didn't mean to lie. But, believe me, friends, there were lines - all week, all of the time, and when we finally do manage to get to the front of the line, my DP (dear partner) is told that her AP voucher is void, at which point I am opening my carrying case and am reaching for a folder, which I am loudly proclaiming has all of the Disney correspondence I have meticulously collected over the past 15 months and I am sure that if he gives me just one minute I can find all of the supporting documentation for that VERY active AP voucher he is holding in his hand. At some point in the space of that little spiel, my DP's so-called impotent AP voucher found its potency, without the additional assistance of my supporting documentation. Big smile, big sigh.
So now I'm feeling a rush of pure self-satisfaction and in a moment of largesse I loudly proclaimed, "OK, I give in, let's go ride the Ball!" I say give in because, as we all could see, there was a LINE! But, I assured everyone, it's a constant load, how bad it could be? Twenty minutes later we were loaded (and, no, not in a good way). But, hey, I'm nothing if not flexible! (Oh, stuff it, I am too and, btw, isn't it about time for that long rumored update to the ball? Really, it wouldn't be too soon.)
At this point my very pampered family, having stood in TWO lines in the space of one hour, loudly clamors for a quick sprint to the international gate, do not pass go, do not spend $200.00, just get through the park (See! It's not just me!). We do just that, but my every fear of what's in store is confirmed by the wait times for the "thrill" rides that we spy along the way - Test Track 90 minutes, Soarin - 120 minutes, Ellen's Energy Adventure - 190 minutes (OK, not really, not on the last one - but it should be, and the others are the god's honest truth).
Well, I don't actually have photos of any of that, so here's what's coming up in the next installment:
(Folks, I am very glad you're enjoying this and I very much appreciate the friends who are traveling over to this board from more distant ports, but do all sit back and have a cold one, for this is obviously going to on a bit. In fact, having originally planned to wrap up this report well before Christmas, my new hope is that we'll get it done before the next trip - in August!)