A Vent - Stand duty for sports

[JustineMarie]

When i assigned the day for all the parents I told them if that day they were assigned didn't work for them they were more than welcome to trade with another parent on the team. They were not locked into those days as long as they switched with someone.

At registration we were able to either pay the 25$ then OR sign a contract saying that instead of paying the 25$ we were willing to work the snack bar for 1 shift of an hour and a half. It said in the paper that we signed that if we didn't request a certain day or time that the day and time would just be assigned. There was a place on the paper to write which nights would work better for your schedule and whether you would want to work during your child's game or on another night. This is what I followed so I don't see that as being a surprise to anyone. We don't ever have more than one game a night on our fields bc we don't have lights so you can't work a game before or after your childs. All the games start at 5:30.

As far as this family, yes there is a husband involved but she said he works long hours and he won't feel like driving the 30 minutes either. She is not willing to pay the 25$ bc she said that the fee is too high.

The reason my husband has driven her daughter home is because they literally never came and got her. My husband waited for 45 minutes after practice and no one came. This happened twice. No phone call from the mother. My husband had to have the little girl use his cell phone to call her mom and her mom said that she had fallen asleep and she would need to get in the shower before she could come and get her. My husband would not leave an 11 year old girl at the fields at 845 at night so he drove her home. With her mom taking a shower and then the 30 min drive he would have been at the fields with her at least another hour if he had waited for the mother to get there.

If she had a real reason, like financial issues or a work conflict, I would understand and I would personally work for her but I don't see how I am in the wrong for telling her that she needs to follow through with her commitment.

By the way, in our papers that we signed it does not mention volunteering for the stand. It says that you either need to work the stand or pay the money. If you choose to work the stand, it is mandatory. If you choose to pay the $ at the time of registration then you will not have to work the stand. The coaches were given copies of the signed papers so they knew who chose to do the stand and who chose not too.

This woman put on her paper that she did not want to work during her daughters games and that Saturdays would work best. We had one Saturday spot to fill so that is the one I gave her.

 

[FireDancer]

By the way, in our papers that we signed it does not mention volunteering for the stand. It says that you either need to work the stand or pay the money. If you choose to work the stand, it is mandatory. If you choose to pay the $ at the time of registration then you will not have to work the stand. The coaches were given copies of the signed papers so they knew who chose to do the stand and who chose not too.

That kind of puts a very different spin on it. I do wish parents would be more involved in their kids sports. We had a lot of problems growing up but I can't remember a single little league game that either one of my parents, grandparents, or my aunt weren't at. Until I was old enough to drive myself up there was always someone there, even if they got there a little late.

I do think it is weird that parents man the snack stand because ours never did and at no field I play at now are any participants or their family members responsible, the city handles it. If, however, you were given the choice to pay or work you have two options, so choose one of find a different league.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

OK, I now take back everything I wrote above that might have sounded like I'm defending this parent.

I was understanding it as they prefered to lose the "concession deposit" rather than work, and saying that if you offer that choice you have to gracefully accept when people choose it.

But to refuse to work AND refuse to pay, when the choice was clear from the beginning? Yeah, that's low.

Can you refuse to let them register next season?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Really You don't think so??? This person signed up and part of signing up was that they'd either pay $25 bucks or do the stand for 90 mins...this person still signed their dd up, but now refuses to do either? Really, you think because "she doesn't want to, or doesn't feel like driving the 30 mins.," is a good reason not to have to do it? Well if that's the case, then yes I'm going to sign my kid up and yes I see that it cost 50 bucks, but you know what; I don't feel like paying it Come on now, you know that's insane... and there's no difference between deciding that I don't want to pay the sign-up fee, and deciding that I don't want to pay the $25 or the do the stand.- Either way it was part of the deal when she signed up her dd.

I think that there are people in life who have problems. To you, it might look like laziness. Or apathy. But in reality that may not be what it is. This was my point on my posts on this thread. Is it true for everyone? Of course not. But I'm not going to be the person who delves into anyone's business. If you tell me you cannot, then I take it at face value that you cannot. This is how it works on our teams. People help when they can. If they cannot, it's ok.

 

[scrapquitler]

Another thing I noticed in the OP was that the mom said she didn't want to drive to work the stand... it sounded like her child's team didn't have a game that day. This was an issue in our league as well, because people complained if they had to work on a day when their child wasn't scheduled to be there for a game, but people also complained when they had to work at the same time as their child was playing and miss their kid's game (not all fields are viewable from the snack stand). People were quite vociferous on both sides of this debate.

Sometimes the VOLUNTEERS who run our sports leagues just cannot win.

In all this, I see one problem. Sure, the parent has "mandatory" volunteer time assigned to work the concession stand...what happens if that parent has other little kids that need to be supervised? Most games are on weekends right? Well I work weekends, and I have a small child. If I were assigned to 'volunteer' on a weekend, chances are, I'm going to be at my JOB instead of hanging at the little league field. And my husband pretty likely wouldn't be able to work in my place, as he has the small child to deal with while the big child would be playing said baseball game. And if it were a game where big child wasn't playing, then DH would have TWO children to be watching...how does one work in a concession stand with two children?

I'd be hard pressed to have someone ASSIGN me a time to volunteer. Nevermind that 'volunteer' and 'mandatory' are polar opposites

 

[FireDancer]

In all this, I see one problem. Sure, the parent has "mandatory" volunteer time assigned to work the concession stand...what happens if that parent has other little kids that need to be supervised? Most games are on weekends right? Well I work weekends, and I have a small child. If I were assigned to 'volunteer' on a weekend, chances are, I'm going to be at my JOB instead of hanging at the little league field. And my husband pretty likely wouldn't be able to work in my place, as he has the small child to deal with while the big child would be playing said baseball game. And if it were a game where big child wasn't playing, then DH would have TWO children to be watching...how does one work in a concession stand with two children?

I'd be hard pressed to have someone ASSIGN me a time to volunteer. Nevermind that 'volunteer' and 'mandatory' are polar opposites

You would have been able to pay a fee so you didn't have to volunteer.

 

[Mkrop]

In all this, I see one problem. Sure, the parent has "mandatory" volunteer time assigned to work the concession stand...what happens if that parent has other little kids that need to be supervised? Most games are on weekends right? Well I work weekends, and I have a small child. If I were assigned to 'volunteer' on a weekend, chances are, I'm going to be at my JOB instead of hanging at the little league field. And my husband pretty likely wouldn't be able to work in my place, as he has the small child to deal with while the big child would be playing said baseball game. And if it were a game where big child wasn't playing, then DH would have TWO children to be watching...how does one work in a concession stand with two children?

I'd be hard pressed to have someone ASSIGN me a time to volunteer. Nevermind that 'volunteer' and 'mandatory' are polar opposites

In the OP's example you would need to pay or pick a weeknight.

In our case, and what I have to do is find someone to watch my youngest while I fulfill my duty or pull my DH off the field where they need help as well and send him in to snack bar or have him watch my youngest and I work. My mom is willing to help me, if not I will have to ask my friend.

Neither is ideal but it is what we agreed to with this League.

And people mention finding a different league, around here there are very strict boundary lines and they do not let people play in other leagues.

 

[maxiesmom]

I'd be hard pressed to have someone ASSIGN me a time to volunteer. Nevermind that 'volunteer' and 'mandatory' are polar opposites

No kidding! I never even knew some schools did this! Our stands are totally run by volunteers, and they are actually volunteers. Not people forced into service. I would be mad too at being told I had to volunteer, and then being assigned a time.

I do agree that if you know ahead of time you either need to work the stand, or pay, then you should be willing to do one or the other.

 

[Art 1]

In all this, I see one problem. Sure, the parent has "mandatory" volunteer time assigned to work the concession stand...what happens if that parent has other little kids that need to be supervised? Most games are on weekends right? Well I work weekends, and I have a small child. If I were assigned to 'volunteer' on a weekend, chances are, I'm going to be at my JOB instead of hanging at the little league field. And my husband pretty likely wouldn't be able to work in my place, as he has the small child to deal with while the big child would be playing said baseball game. And if it were a game where big child wasn't playing, then DH would have TWO children to be watching...how does one work in a concession stand with two children?

I'd be hard pressed to have someone ASSIGN me a time to volunteer. Nevermind that 'volunteer' and 'mandatory' are polar opposites

You could hire a babysitter or pay the extra fee and not have to work the concession stand.

 

[shortbun]

What is so bad about concession stand duty? No big deal. If I was expected to do it every game, I'd be peeved but twice during a regular season is just fine. In our league, our duty is either after or before our game so we can watch our kids play. Basketball is the same here. In high school, the Athletic Association is made up of parents who all volunteer to work the concession stand and do it with a smile. It's a pretty social place.
Why is everyone so whiny about it? It's part of parenting, your child sees you involved in their activity and participating...it's a good thing.

 

[samshane]

Wow - mandatory? With ours you can do a $25 buyout. I did my one shift already - it wasn't all that bad... but we got to pick what date worked for us (honestly DH is deployed right now so some games we can't get to because I am the only one who can transport the kids and my other children also have other commitments). I think I would have been bothered if I was assigned and couldn't pick what worked for me.

That being said I know the team mom deals with a lot and does her best - I would've just asked to switch if she assigned us on her own. I signed my son up to play, I am willing to do my part as well.

 

[Mary•Poppins]

This is always the problem with our leagues too. It is ALWAYS the same people who help out ... year after year. Personally I think it should be mandatory and if you can't work it, your child doesn't play. It is as simple as that. I always find it ironic that these parent's "can't help" but they can make it to every game and sit there for the 2 1/2 hours and watch their kid!

I would probably forward the email as others have said and let the person in charge handle it. I would assume she will lose her money. If it doesn't matter to her, hire a high schooler to work her time and pay them minimum wage.

Also, a few years back, our soccer association couldn't get anyone to help. It was the same few people on the board and as they begged people to help, no one would. So, the president sent out this great letter that outlined all of the positions needed and the fact that the board decided that if the positions were not filled by a certain date, they would be shutting the league down. Guess what, they got so many volunteers, they were shocked. Maybe sometimes people need a real kick in the butt. We are all busy .... and if you are too busy to help out and volunteer ... you are too busy to have your child involved in sports (IMO)

Good luck.

 

[brockash]

I think that there are people in life who have problems. To you, it might look like laziness. Or apathy. But in reality that may not be what it is. This was my point on my posts on this thread. Is it true for everyone? Of course not. But I'm not going to be the person who delves into anyone's business. If you tell me you cannot, then I take it at face value that you cannot. This is how it works on our teams. People help when they can. If they cannot, it's ok.

I completely understand that some ppl. can have situations that prevent them from being able to do things other ppl. can, however if that's the case, then they shouldn't be signing up for something that requires something they can't (or don't want to) do/give. There are absolutely some parents that will volunteer more, give more ect., but that really has nothing to do with this situation. In OP's case; the parent knew they would either have to pay $25 bucks or man the stand for 90 mins. This parent chose to not pay the $25 bucks, but instead chose to man the stand (and asked to be scheduled on a Sat., which OP stated she did.) Now this person has decided she doesn't want to drive the 30 mins. to do something she already committed too. In this case, yes she does owe the OP an explanation if there really is some actual reason she can't (it sounds like in this situation the parent is just lazy and selfish, but if there was an actual reason, yes she owes the explanation since she already committed to something.) -It's just like when you go to work, if there's a reason you can't go, you can't just say I don't feel like it today.

 

[sasywtch]

Hi there! I haven't read any of the responses and to be honest, not sure if I will as it's a part of my life that I'm trying to leave behind somewhat. For years 1983-2000 My now xhusband was either president or vice president of the largest Little League in Northern CA, my oldest daughter was in bobbysox, my other daughter was in a traveling fastpitch softball (she's in the USSSA Hall of Fame in Kissimmee for shortstop in nationals!), I was in charge of 3 snackbars, the fundraisers, numerous turns in snackbars .........

I was in charge of the 3 snackbars, my Sundays were shopping days at PriceClub,stocking all 3, bringing over the money at 5pm each evening to all 3,getting the money at 8:30pm at all 3. Being accussed of stealing by new members who just decide they want it all to themselves (funny how after one season they don't do it again LOL).

One thing you have to remember if you are a team mom (I'm guessing you were put in that position by husband as a manager/coach), you have to realize that you will have parents on your team who honestly don't have a clue. They don't realize just how much work it is for someone. I can look at it and say, whooooo 2 hours, what a breeze, I can do that. I've been there doing the 6 days a week so I understand. One night when I went to pick up the money, the team mom for the team who had the snackbar that night said she had to leave to go home to make dinner and left me to clean up. HELLOOOOOO my kids have been eating nachos and hotdogs for 3 months and you have one stinking day to do this?????

One mistake I would say that I saw you did (and not judging at all because this is all so touchy to ask parents to help)...I would have called a mandatory parents meeting and had people sign up for days and time. If I was on your team and you scheduled me for a certain evening to work the snackbar and it was on my meeting night that I will not miss, I wouldn't feel it's my responsibility to contact parents I don't know. I think having something given to them and saying, here I decided for you what day you work is not giving them any input. Next time, have a meeting, explain the responsibility of what the team must do, make out a sheet with days/times and pass it around. Lots less hostility that way. Also know and even though this isn't fair...you will probably work more than your one time as some won't show, some will call, some won't sign. To not be stressed, just keep thinking that they really don't know just what is involved for everyone. (ok, so you really are thinking that they must feel they are so busy and everyone else isn't but that will just stress you out so think positive).

I'm telling you..................the worst part of Little League, softball or any youth sports is the parents. It was the best and worst of my lifetime. Thank heavens my kids are grown however, my grandson starts Little League next year! Grandma in the stands yelling at the umpire!!!

 

[sasywtch]

Ok, I didn't follow my own advice and I started reading responses. As you can see, 10 years later and all of this still provokes me with resentment, sadness, frustration. It never pays to volunteer for a Board within an organization.

As one posted stated, the snackbar is a major fundraiser. My X was a manager for Coca Cola and at that time, a $1 soda in cup, syrup with ice cost 10 cents, so the snackbar made 90 cents. (where McD's and others make up their costs on the meal deals). At the time I was in Little League and Bobbysox, the sign up costs barely covered uniforms, insurance, etc. All other costs, new bats, umpires, equiptment came from fundrasing including the snackbar. Raising the sign up fees means more kids can't play. For those who don't want to work 90 minutes, I'm not sure if they realize all the people who do things behind the scenes? The fathers and some mothers out there after games, before games, Saturdays, mowing the fields, marking the fields, fixing fences, painting the backstops, shopping for all the snackbar goodies, spending hours at Board meetings going over very boring rules and regulations and adopting them to stay in compliance of a non profit business, the treasurer who spends hours keeping the books, submititng the info for non profit.

It seems so simple to sign your child up for a non profit type league and the sign up fee should be enough but in reality, most of these organizations are non profit which means parents help out in places where needed. At the end of it all, I was a single parent in a new state and had a hard time with the volunteer of it all. One parent did pay a high schooler to work her turn in the snackbar. The parents on our team who did the mowing of the fields, chalking of the field, scorekeeper were not expected to do snackbar. I had the job of bringing the large water with ice and cups to each game/practice.

If you can't work the snackbar due to being a single parent, no babysitters or whatever,volunteer for bringing the water or something else. I can almost bet that all of the parents who are having to do the snackbar 3 or 4 times, mowing all the fields know who hasn't done a thing but drop their kid off. Just because you pay a sign up fee doesn't mean it stops there. Expenses in a non profit organization are never ending.

I payd $500 for traveling fastpitch league and still had to do the snackbar to raise runds, bring water etc.

And yes, we always always had the argument of "I only want to do it when my kid is playing, when my kid isn't playing". I think that one is cross country.

Just an aside, my son is now 30. He is still very good friends with kids he has known since he was in t ball and every single one had parents who were helping out at the parks during Little League. It becomes a social function for not only the adults, but for the kids. My son remembers the kids and who's parents weren't around. He was telling his wife the other day to get ready to work the snackbar next year and she said WHAT???? (she was never in any organized sport). It rubs off down the line. He has no clue what his local league requires but he's expecting it and probably will be one of the first to sgin up to help prep the fields etc. He was raised that way. (he also took his wife to WDW for their honeymoon and to DL after my grandson was born. She said, well, he's seen it now and won't have to go back to DL for another 10 years....yeah right! They have gone back every year since......I instill some things in my kids).

 

[JustineMarie]

One mistake I would say that I saw you did (and not judging at all because this is all so touchy to ask parents to help)...I would have called a mandatory parents meeting and had people sign up for days and time. If I was on your team and you scheduled me for a certain evening to work the snackbar and it was on my meeting night that I will not miss, I wouldn't feel it's my responsibility to contact parents I don't know. I think having something given to them and saying, here I decided for you what day you work is not giving them any input. Next time, have a meeting, explain the responsibility of what the team must do, make out a sheet with days/times and pass it around. Lots less hostility that way. Also know and even though this isn't fair...you will probably work more than your one time as some won't show, some will call, some won't sign. To not be stressed, just keep thinking that they really don't know just what is involved for everyone. (ok, so you really are thinking that they must feel they are so busy and everyone else isn't but that will just stress you out so think positive).

I don't know if you read my last post or not but the parents who decided not to pay the fee and to work the snack bar had already written down the days and times that they were available. I just scheduled them according to the information they had given me. Out of all the parents on the team, this was the only one that had a problem, even tho I scheduled her for the day and time (am) that she said she would be available to do it, which by the way isn't until June 12 so she had plenty of notice. It really didn't matter to this woman bc she does not want to drive to work the stand. That's what it came down to.

Also, we are a very small town, think maybe 6000 people total. Our elementary school only has 410 kids for pre-k through 6th. Everyone knows everyone so it wouldn't be a big deal for her to have asked someone to switch. I even offered to find her someone to switch with in my last email but that is not her issue. She doesn't want to do it AND she doesn't want to pay. It's not my problem anymore as I am letting the league handle her.