A stranger woke up in my daughter's bed

[Mary•Poppins]

Oh gosh ... I really feel your pain. My oldest that is 16 and is killing me lately! He also tries to manipulate situations to go his way ... it is SO TIRING!

... are you really sure you can't just send them away and have someone else raise them until they turn 25? (This is the age my mother told me we all became civil again ... UGH!)

 

[kesha]

All this talk brings back memories. Don't want to go there again.

 

[Golfing Goofy]

I love my daughter dearly, but if Robert Downey Jr. was in her bed, I would toss my own flesh and blood out the window and jump in bed with him instead!

Hang in there....I have one of those strangers too. It was just like overnight. Sweet to irritating to down right obnoxious.

I try to remember what I was really like and not the way I try to spin it for my kids I ended up turning out ok.

 

[Mandy_in_NC]

You will get your revenge on the day you witness the horror on DD's face when she realize's that she has turned into her mom
That will probably be about age 30 so you will have to wait awhile before you can enjoy that revenge......................

It didn't take me to turn 30 to realize I had turned into my mother. I said something to my daughter and realized I had heard the same thing come out of my mother's mouth. It was scary.

 

[MonkeyDishwasher]

For a second, I thought there might be a testimony from you daughter about being attacked by some idiot in the projects

 

[TaraLee4]

For a second, I thought there might be a testimony from you daughter about being attacked by some idiot in the projects

My DBF breaks out into the "rap" at the most random times.

"climbin' in yo window, snatchin yo people up"

 

[kellydizfan]

I have 2 at home 16 going to be 17 in December and a 13 year old. Boy the 16 year old is in alot of trouble right now. She did something that is just so beyond her that she is grounded for life. No computer or cell phone. She has accepted that but she doesn't think she did anything wrong - what is wrong with her? The 13 year DD is just overall moody. I hope she is learning by her sisters mistakes. This is the 2nd time DD16 has been grounded for life for something horrible she has done - nothing done to anyone else thank god. In some ways I wish they were little again. I have a 10 year old son and he is fine at the moment. LOL!

 

[mickeysgal]

No, I do not suspect drugs or anything more than just a snotty attitude and someone that is trying to push the envelope and test the waters. She won't win.

She has a concert on Sunday and I told her last night that she was hanging on by a very thin thread. When she gets home today, she better walk through that door with a complete attitude adjustment or the concert is off.

I really thought I was going to escape the smart mouth, no it all attitude, that some teens go through. She wasn't perfect before but she was truly a well behaved girl who was quick to recognize her mistakes in the past. I wish this stranger would disappear and I could have my mature daughter back.

As a mom of three teenagers - 20, 18, 15 - all I can say is stick to your guns. If you back off now, they'll know they can push you again. You need to control the situation and set the pace for attitude, respect, etc. It is vital that dad backs you up all the way. Teenagers, like toddlers, learn very quickly how to try to play one parent off the other.

It does get better. We saw a huge turnaround during my son's freshman year of college. By his sophmore year, he was actually a very pleasant adult to be around. Zero conflict.

 

[mommykds]

Add me to the list!

I have a 14 DD who maintains excellent grades, has many nice friends, & does not do anything seriously wrong (like smoke, drink, drugs, boys) so I know I should be grateful.....

However, she can be such a difficult kid at home. She is moody & easy to get agitated over the stupidest thing. She snips at me, DH, & my 2 younger kids. Everything is an argument. She was so fresh last week she lost her computer priviledges for the week & I stuck to it. There is just a lack of respect overall.

I hope she comes back to me one day..I love her to peices & she is a great kid but this contridictory, argumentative, disrespectful behavior is very emotionally draining.

 

[luvsJack]

I have already been through it twice with boys and just starting again with dd. OH, the joys of being the parent of a teenager!

I keep hearing this little saying, "Grandchildren are our reward for not killing our teen agers." LOL so my little dgd is my reward for allowing her father to reach adulthood! Besides now I get to tell him "you just wait, pay back is hell!" LOL

Stand your ground. and, please, please, please, pick your battles. When everything is a fight, make sure the issue is one you are willing to fight to the finish for. If not, you will end up giving in and that just makes it worse the next time.

Also, when the attitudes start running rampant take a look at how much sleep they are getting and what they are eating. Either of those will cause an issue.

Dd was getting a bit mouthy yesterday and even had issues with a friend at school. She decided to go to bed between 8 and 8:30 and was sound asleep in minutes. She has been going to bed on time but has show choir practice every afternoon and is getting up an hour and a half earlier than she used to so that she has time to get ready (hair, make up and plenty of time to make sure that uniform didn't suddenly change from yesterday or whatever it is she is looking at in the mirror!) This morning she was up, raring to go and my nice little girl was back again Plus, she made plans to hunt up her friend this morning and apologize.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

Speaking for the Teens out there. When I hit age 15-17 it was pretty bad. I did not get along with my mother at all. I did very well at school but when I came home it was not good.

She was in a very unhappy place at the time, when I look back, I don't even know how she did it. I also had a younger brother who was insane at age 2! He liked to paint my walls with my nail polish, and a much younger sister who was the angel.

We butted heads on everything. I hated doing the dishes but that was my chore after dinner, I had to vacum our carpted steps every other weekend, Keep in mind we had 3 floors to our house. So 3 sets of stairs. I fought her every step of the way because to me it was HOW she told me to do it. I was never asked it was always do it or else.

Well, needless to say I was grounded alot. However, my younger siblings never had to do anything and that annoyed me even more. I moved out when I was 19, it would have been sooner but whatever.

Just realized how you talk to you teens. I definately respect my mother and understand why she did what she did, but my siblings are now struggling because they never had to do any of that it was all put on me because I was the oldest. I love my mother, but I do remember alot of what happened and things that she said. It wasn't anything really bad, but it affected me.

I am 32 now and my sister just turned 20 and moved into her own Apt. It's quite funny because she calls and asks me how to do things all the time, like the first time she had to clean the bathroom. I smiled to myself.

 

[JoiseyMom]

I feel for ya OP, and all other posters! I posted this on FB yesterday, What is worse then a teenager daughter! DD14 at times OMG! When we talk to her about her attitude she is like 'What attitude".

She is my third teenager, but the only girl. The other 2 are boys, and now adults, but they were never as bad as her! My baby is still 9..I am going to enjoy him as much as I can!!

 

[Cee]

My kids are all adults now(my youngest DD is 25 today!), but there was a really rough decade and a half that I'm surprised I(and they)lived through. UGH!

 

[LisaR]

I am glad to know I am not going through this alone.

DD did come home yesterday with a much better attitude. Of course, she knows she has a concert that is hanging on the line at this point. While she seems genuinely sorry, I also know that she could rear her ugly head at any time.