A Silly Quiz

[mark & sandra]

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional."
Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult.
But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
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The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
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2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
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Did you say, "Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and
close the refrigerator?" Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe put
in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think
through the repercussions of your previous actions.
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> > > 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend... except one ... Which animal does not attend?
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Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You
just put him in there. This tests your memory.
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Okay even if you did not answer the first three questions
correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
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4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles,
and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
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> > > Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have
you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.
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This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
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According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many
preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this
conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a
four year old.

 

[Scullyrules1013]

LOL!

 

[Nette]

has anyone ever used/worked with an Anderson Consultant? I don't know about all fields, but their programmers are the worst I've ever seen. My 2 year old could write better code.

 

[luvsTink]

I only got one right...hmmm. Of course I am a consultant....see the following:


A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a
young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
leaned out the window and asked the shepherd,..........

"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you
give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it
to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he
called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then
opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He
sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a
response. Finally, he prints out a 130 page report on his miniaturized
printer then turns to the shepherd and says,.........

"You have exactly 1586 sheep".

"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
car.

Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is,
will you give me back my animal?"

"OK, why not" answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.

"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now
give me back my dog".

 

[flaps]

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

I guessed ditchin' an "f" (refrigerator, girafe), and it was all downhill from there.....