A possible debate on lying....

[florida-again]

If a lie will not harm anyone and the truth might cause problems, are small lies ok?

For example, my grandma made me some sandwiches for a coach journey which I didn't eat. When she asked if I enjoyed them, I said 'yes'.....

 

[Marseeya]

If a lie will not harm anyone and the truth might cause problems, are small lies ok?

For example, my grandma made me some sandwiches for a coach journey which I didn't eat. When she asked if I enjoyed them, I said 'yes'.....

That's funny, I was going to post something similar earlier today and never did!

Personally, I think the whole issue of truth/honesty is so complex that there's no one right answer. In the situation you mentioned, I think a lie would be acceptable.

I think a person can be an honest person, while still telling white lies like that.

 

[beattyfamily]

I try hard not to lie but sometimes I feel it's ok to say a 'white lie' in order not to hurt someone's feelings.

 

[4myson]

No, there is no reason not to tell the truth.

 

[DawnCt1]

If a lie will not harm anyone and the truth might cause problems, are small lies ok?

For example, my grandma made me some sandwiches for a coach journey which I didn't eat. When she asked if I enjoyed them, I said 'yes'.....

You did the exact right thing. She went out of her way to do something nice. There is no reason to hurt her feelings and tell her that you didn't enjoy them Maybe you did "enjoy" them, knowing that they would have been there for you, if you did chose to eat them.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I get soo worried I am going to get in trouble with stuff like that.

Leftovers from childhood I guess.

 

[coolmom99]

I don't believe anyone who says that they never lie. Everyone lies, even if it's just a little white lie like this example.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

My Dh must have been raised being told any and all lies are acceptable. that man lies about EVERYTHING and for no reason. Drives me insane!

A lie like in the OP is OK, because it prevents hurt feelings, and unless she is running around blabbing how she didn't eat the sandwiches, then the truth will never come out. It is the little lie that covers up the little lie, that eventually becomes a big lie, and you have no way out.

I hate lying.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

well now you'll always get the same crappy sandwiches.


In that case - what you were saying is that you enjoyed that she took the time to make them for you. To tell her otherwise would be ungrateful and mean.

 

[Marseeya]

My Dh must have been raised being told any and all lies are acceptable. that man lies about EVERYTHING and for no reason. Drives me insane!

I hate lying.

OMG, my DH too! My MIL is a HUGE liar and I think that's where he got it from. It's so hard to deal with. How do you handle it?

 

[disykat]

I hate lying too, but I don't think that was a lie. Like some of the others I think you can enjoy the thought behind a gift even if you don't use it. IMO, "yes" was an honest answer. If she had been more specific and said "did you eat your sandwiches?" I may have told a white lie for the sake of not hurting her feelings - depending on my relationship with her.

 

[bicker]

There is a big difference between lying for someone else's benefit and lying for your own benefit.

 

[DisMN]

You did the exact right thing. She went out of her way to do something nice. There is no reason to hurt her feelings and tell her that you didn't enjoy them Maybe you did "enjoy" them, knowing that they would have been there for you, if you did chose to eat them.

I stopped reading the rest of the answers with this one......I totally agree with the whole thing, especially the last line.

 

[eclectics]

I think God will let that one slide . It was in no way malicious.

 

[mickeyfan2]

These are "white lies" and are fine. These lies are not for personal gain, but to prevent hurting somebodies feelings. Sometimes you can word the answer to praise the person and still not actually answer the question. The only lie that is bad is one that is told to get out of trouble or get something that you did not earn.

 

[Cantw8]

depends..what kind of sandwich? If it was the typical PB&J, BLT or regular lunchmeat variety, I would say you are fine. Now, if it were pigs knuckles or some other nasty variety, then you were probably set up and Grammy knows you're a liar

 

[Mickey Fliers]

No, there is no reason not to tell the truth.

"Mommy, is there really a Santa Claus (Easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc)?"

"Mommy, were you and daddy wrestling in bed last night?"

"Mommy, is this the most beautiful picture you have ever seen?"

I certainly think that there are very acceptable reasons and times to tell a little white lie.

 

[ItsonlyExperiment626]

Disney1fan2002 we must have the same husband! My DH also lies about anything and everything. It alarms me that he lies so easily to anyone whether the truth will harm or not harm someone and it's come to a point where I don't feel I can really trust what he says anymore. Sad I know, but I know he has lied to me more than once about stupid things too, even though he won't admit to it. He's also omitted things or said things which is not the entire truth to me. I consider omission and partial truth as lies.

I'm trying to teach my kids not to lie about anything. Once I did catch one of my kids lying to me and my DH said he's only telling you what you want to hear. That is what got me really thinking seriously about not trusting my DH. Anyone who uses that excuse for lying has a serious problem being honest and not trust worthy in my opinion.

Needless to say, our relationship has been strained by all this lying.

 

[hugsquared]

I don't believe anyone who says that they never lie. Everyone lies, even if it's just a little white lie like this example.

Thank you. I honestly feel that way too. The piousness of some just makes me laugh.