a note to servers

[powellrj]

Not everyone is flattered when they are carded.

Last night DH and I went out to dinner. I ordered a drink and the waitress asked to see my ID, I asked her if she would also like to see my AARP card while I had my wallet out. I was nice about it and said it in a joking way, but I was still a little miffed that I had to drag through my purse at the table to find it.

I am asked many times if I qualify for the senior discount and with my white hair, there is NO CHANCE I am anywhere close to being 21. In fact I am often mistaken for my DDs grandmother!

She said they were told people are flattered when they are asked when they are obviously not close to 21.

Like I said, I wasn't flattered, just annoyed.

 

[Schminston-Mo]

Maybe you look close to 30!

I volunteered to work a stand at a local arena for a church fundraiser and they indicated we were to card everyone 30 and younger.

We were required to take an alcohol course and it outlined the many laws and how much trouble you personally could get into by serving an underaged or intoxicated person, so I carded everyone!

 

[msmayor]

Not sure where you live, but in many places considered "college towns" they will card anyone and everyone. They make it easier on the servers so they don't have to decide who to card and who not too, and tell them to card EVERYONE.

I'll never forget a weekend trip my sister, brother and I took to Delaware a few years ago. All three of us were close to/over 40 years old, and we all got carded.

My sister and I were so excited that someone asked at our age!

 

[Tinkmom75]

Our state it is if you don't look 40. I'm sure pretty soon it will just be law to card everyone.

 

[powellrj]

While we live in a college town, its a dry christian college so drinking isn't an issue like it is where my DS goes to college.

Like I said, I am in my 50's with white hair and am often mistaken for my DDs grandmother, and am often offered the senior discount so there is no way I would even be mistaken for someone in their 30's.

To be honest, I found it more condescending than flattering.

 

[MIGrandma]

I'm sure she was just doing her job.

When I was a server the restaurant where I worked offered a senior discount for anyone 55 and over for the buffet on Sunday. It was really difficult to gauge a person's age, and the boss got upset with us if we didn't ask. Most people didn't mind, even if they weren't "quite that age" yet, but some did get nasty about it. I overheard one woman telling her tablemates that she wasn't going to tip me now, since I asked her if she qualified.

Servers don't like questioning people that way, or carding them for a drink, but sometimes they have to in order to keep their job.

 

[Disneylover79]

I am 30 and I got carded for lottery tickets...

 

[Kitty 34]

I got carded at a grocery store last week and I'm 56!!! My 29 yr old son happened to be with me and thought it was a hoot!!

 

[golfgal]

A lot of places have adopted a mandatory carding policy where they card everyone so they don't forget and serve a minor. Our liquor stores you can't buy anything without getting "carded". They have to swipe your driver's license into the register before they can ring anything up.

 

[Evil Genius]

Many restaurants in this area have the requirement that they card everyone despite what age you look like. Don't be such a cranky old lady.

 

[powellrj]

It was the fact that she told me the reason they did it was because older people found it flattering. Maybe if I was in my 30's or 40's I would find it flattering, but in my 50's I don't really find it flattering to be carded.

I don't mind being asked if I qualify for the senior discount because I DO look like at senior!

I also understand carding everyone, but again, her reason was older people find it flattering, my point was not everyone is flattered

 

[Becky2005]

We were required to take an alcohol course and it outlined the many laws and how much trouble you personally could get into by serving an underaged or intoxicated person, so I carded everyone!

I don't think you could pay me enough to serve alcohol due to the big trouble you could get into personally if something goes wrong BUT if I did, I'd be carding everyone to cover myself that I at least did due diligence.

 

[wdwmom2]

Hey, she was just doing her job, and correctly at that. Just one untimely mistake from her not carding and someone underage getting through could cost her job.

And as far as the comment she made about people being flattered at being carded because they don't look their age, maybe she just spoke it out of being nervous because she sensed you were annoyed, even though you thought that you acted like you weren't. Maybe she was just trying to pay you a compliment, making light of an awkward situation???? I can't image that she would do it to annoy you. All three of my DD's are or have been servers and would never purposely annoy a customer. That would very possibly cost them by not being tipped. And they do depend on tips. That's just the way it is for servers.

If you don't ever want to be carded, the only thing that you can do is not purchase anything that requires a minimum age. Otherwise, be prepared.

 

[goofyernmost]

I would like to take this opportunity to once again climb up on my soap box and express my disdain for the way rule following has become such a stupid, totally lacking in common sense, exercise.

We only have two types of people now...those that follow rules in such an excruciating fashion as to be completely rigid and anal and those that will never follow any rules. There is no middle of the road, no room for using brains and judgment.

I have been asked my birth date to purchase things that are legal for anyone over 21. I am 62 years old. I qualify! Once when I just said 1948..you pick the month and day, they all fit, the cashier got downright angry with me and insisted that I give the complete date. I, of course, gave her an incorrect one but it seemed to make her happy. I am running out of time on this planet but I do so hope that something can happen that will bring this nation (if not the world) into the realm of reality and stop the childish behavior before I make the big trip. I'll probably get carded there also.

You know what is funny, in a way? When I was 17 the drinking age was 21 and I routinely went to bars and purchased drinks and never once was I carded. Hmmm! Maybe I'm getting younger looking as I age. Hey, it could happen!

 

[GeorgeG]

I don't think I've been carded in over thirty years, and I was somewhere around thirty at the time. I used to look a lot younger than I was. A lot of people still think I look younger, but even that is old.

Come to think of it, my grandson and I went for a beer and even he didn't get carded.

 

[happygirl]

I don't think you could pay me enough to serve alcohol due to the big trouble you could get into personally if something goes wrong BUT if I did, I'd be carding everyone to cover myself that I at least did due diligence.

Yup, we sell beer where I work there is no chance I'm going to get in trouble for making the mistakes of selling to a minor. I'm going to card everyone and anyone who looks they might be younger then 21. I can assure I don't know any server who would card someone just to flatter them. It's a hassle for one thing, and time consuming.

 

[punkin]

You know what is funny, in a way? When I was 17 the drinking age was 21 and I routinely went to bars and purchased drinks and never once was I carded. Hmmm! Maybe I'm getting younger looking as I age. Hey, it could happen!

My DD17 gets into clubs (she doesn't drink, but loves to dance) without getting carded. She does not have a fake ID (like I did at that age). It's just that when a group of 5 young, attractive girls show up at the door to these clubs, the bouncers WILL let them in, because they attract the hard drinking males, and they are the ones the clubs make money off.

Me, I always get carded. I am not flattered. I am annoyed, but I understand why they do it.

 

[Becky2005]

You know what is funny, in a way? When I was 17 the drinking age was 21 and I routinely went to bars and purchased drinks and never once was I carded. Hmmm! Maybe I'm getting younger looking as I age. Hey, it could happen!

What I'm guessing really has happened is the laws got stiffer for the people serving the alcohol as they can get sued personally if the person climbs into a car and kills someone or if you DO serve someone 20 years, 11 months old, etc... I'm not 100% sure but there may also be jail time, etc...

I'm thinking if you are 62 now the laws weren't quite so stringent back then. I'm 41 and I know the laws were not as strict back when I was 21 as they are now.

Just like more warning labels get added to everything so as to cover every possibly scenerio. They card everyone to cover themselves from getting sued for discrimination or the situation of something bad happening and then the first thing everyone will say is "They should have carded them and then this wouldn't have happened" -- therefore, they just card everyone.

 

[phorsenuf]

She was just doing her job. Perhaps it's company policy that the servers ask everyone regardless of how old they may look. What if she hadn't asked you and management heard she hadn't and she got fired over it. You wouldn't have wanted that to happen would you?

I agree she probably said what she did because she was nervous about your retort. Maybe you thought you said it jokingly but perhaps she didn't read it that way. I'm willing to bet she gets hassled on a daily basis when she has to card people that are obviously old enough. And no I'm not saying you hassled her but she may have felt that way.

 

[TaraLee4]

If someone young is at a table drinking, and I have to card them, I'm required to card anyone else at the table who is also ordering a drink. not my rule, it's our owners.

usually, though, I don't ask people who are obviously over-age for ID.

I don't ENJOY carding people I know are obviously over-age. I do it because I would like to keep my job.