My near death experience involved a greased watermelon.
We were at Girl Scout camp, and it was "activity day." (What were the other days--non-activity days? I don't know.) Anyway, after a fun-filled day of "activities" such as coating balloons with yarn dipped in paste (so you could pop the balloon and use the remaining paste-covered yarn shells as windcatchers! Whoo-ha!) It was time for the main event: the greased watermelon fight.
Basically, a greased watermelon fight is, well, everything you can imagine. A big watermelon is covered with lard and then dropped into a body of water. The object of the game is to push the greased watermelon over a marked line. To start the fight, the watermelon is placed in neutral territory. Each team works together to move the watermelon towards the line, and then fights to keep it on the side of their team.
I ws only an OK swimmer, but I had this idea, during the greased watermelon fight, that I would have a STRATEGY. I, unlike, all of the other people uselessly stuggling against each other for watermelon domination, was smarter! I would DIVE underneath all the watermelon competitors, swim up from UNDERNEATH the giant, lard-crusted watermelon, and heave it towards my team, over the line for Victory!
Well. I dove allright, but what I discovered is that if you are a 40ish pound eight year old, and you are trying to dominate a 20 pound watermelon, the watermelon wins, every time. So, there I was, stuck. Everybody else was gathed round the melon, frantically trying to push it over the line, while I was stuck underneath, being kicked in the head every time I tried to surface. I do remember looking up, lying on the bottom of the lake, watching the legs of everyone tread water, watching the watermelon roll and roll, and thinking, "this is so stupid".
I woke up on the beach at some point, after having the water wrung out of me by a swim leader. My Dsis, who was on the opposite team of the greased watermelon fight, alerted the counselors to my absence at the end of the fight, as did my "swim buddy." Dsis told me that she told them exactly where I was, which is why I survived. Notice, however, that she did not mention I was missing until her team had won.
