A LONG, LONG Vent about my husbands church

[Pembo]

For those that don't know my dh is a UCC minister. He has been at the current church 6 years July 1. He sent in his resignation letter on March 10, 2003. He said he was giving his notice, and taking his 1 month vacation.

Tonight at council they decided he didn't get all 4 weeks. They are graciously giving him 3. They said that because he is only working 5 months of the year he only "deserves" 2 weeks but they'll give him 3 to be nice.

I called my friend the attorney. After reading his contract to her, she said that since it doesn't specify if it is a calendar year contract or an anniversary date contract and they have always gone by the calendar year then he is entitled to all 4 weeks.

He pointed out to the committee that he could have taken all 4 weeks in January and they agreed. But basically it comes down to not wanting to pay him for 1 lousy week of pay.

This church has been anything but kind to us these past 6 years and this is just the icing on the cake. His wages are so poor that we qualify for some welfare benefits. The moderator of the church has known since last fall about that but never bothered to share the information with the church council.

It's just so frustrating. DH has worked hard and given a lot for his congregation. He doesn't discriminate the sick. He will go to see ANYONE who is in need of a pastoral visit. Sometimes whether they want him there or not. (He was recently asked to NOT participate in a church members funeral at the request of the deceased's wife. This woman still attends church?! Go figure)

All I can say as a Minister's wife is that after watching my dh serve this congregation I have a hard time believing in anything. For those who aren't sure about Christians, this church would turn you off for good.

I just thank God that we are going to a church that has already shown us more love and consideration in our 2 visits with them than we've seen in 6 years here.

If you're still reading this, thanks for listening.

 

[bfeller]

Sorry for your pain. People do surprise us don't they? Sending you {{HUGS}}

 

[Tuffcookie]

Barb, So sorry they are giving Mark and you and hard time. Just think of the bright side...He is leaving them! Better days are ahead!

TC

 

[nativetxn]

Ah, such Christian charity at that church, huh?

{{{HUGS}}} sweetie. I know this is frustrating and painful for you, it would hurt my feelings if it was my husband being treated this way.

Hang in there. He has a new church now. I hope they appreciate him for the good human being he is.

 

[TripletDad]

Sorry thing were not so good at the current chruch. Some churchs can be real hard on pastor for some reason. I hope your new one goes well. I will say a prayer for you and your husband and your family. Yes I did read your whole post. I hope it helped just to have sombody listen to you. Where is the new church? Good luck.

TripletDad.

 

[binny]

(((hugs))) as a PK I can understand what youre going through!

Weve been in some churches that really made you wonder where Christian Charity went!

BUT on the other hand we have also been in some of the most wonderful churches wher people reached out to us, long after we had left. Most of the best people in my life have been from Churches like that! Sounds like youve found that in your new congregation! Arent you excited to get in there???!!! I know I would be!
Im sorry theyve given you such a hard time but I bet you will really appreciate the new one all the more.


Hang in there! Its almost over!


ps, I hear you about the poverty wages, thats how I grew up.

 

[dandave]

I hope things are better for you and your DH at the new church!

 

[Dan Murphy]

I can offer you a long distance {hug}, Pem, knowing the new church will be better.

Dan

 

[helenabear]

Sorry to hear that things are so bad at the current church. Just look forward to the new one... I am sure brighter days there are ahead {{hugs}}

 

[Kitty 34]

That's too bad they did that to your DH. {{{{{HUGS}}}}

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

That is too bad the church is doing this, but just think what a blessing the new church will be. It sounds like it will be a wonderful place for you, and they will be blessed by having you and your DH in their church community. Best of luck!

 

[robinb]

Pembo:

I'm glad to hear that your DH is leaving the church he was with and moving to one that will appreciate him. It sounds like he got caught in petty politics .

I do have to say that the counsel probably did think they were cutting him a break by giving him 3 weeks and not 4 weeks. While being a pastor is a calling, it is still a job. The question of vacation is: did he earn it the previous year or will he earn it in the current year? Did he take vacation his first half year? If so, then he probably has only earned 1 or maybe 2 weeks of vaction in this final calendar year.

Either way, you'll have 3 weeks to put this behind you and concentrate on your new church. Good luck!

 

[Dizzy-Disney4]

I'm sorry DH has been treated so poorly. Our UCC church is so great, but from I know (we're new to the church) some UCC church's are really different. A church should feel like home for everyone who attends...including the minister. I'm glad your new church seems like the right one!!! { {{HUGS}}}

 

[goofy4tink]

It's truly amazing what passes for Christianity in some churches. I'm glad to hear your dh will be in a more 'appreciative' church now. I look down from my perch in my choir loft each Sunday and wonder just what people are thinking. THose that profess to be wonderful Christians and who then turn around and do some very un-Christian like things versus the folks who just very quietly go about there business with great spirituality and no hoopla. I hope you guys get the latter in the new church.

 

[dizneenut]

Barb, I'm sorry the church is giving you and Mark such a hard time. Hang in there, soon you'll be gone from that church. And just in that 1 time at the new church, I can tell that everyone really loves DH and is very excited to have him there.

 

[ripleysmom]

Pembo, it's amazing what some Christians are like huh? It sounds though like your husband is going to a much better church. Good Luck to him in his new position.

 

[Marla Hellwig]

Hugs to both of you

 

[dianeschlicht]

So sorry! One of my best friends was a Methodist minister. She had similar problems that stemmed from being a woman pastor in a small town community church. She finnally left the ministry two years ago, but I think she is planning to go back soon.

 

[Serena]

Pembo, I'm very glad to hear he will be appreciated at the new church.

 

[Kermit]

{{{Hugs}}} I pray that you'll all be happier at the new church. You have my admiration for being a preacher's wife. I don't think that I could do it.