A little advice needed

[Sheree Bobbins]

Fifteen years ago or so, I moved from Vancouver to Toronto with my husband and newborn son. We moved to a townhouse in Oakville and after a few months, I met my new best friend. She lived in the complex and had a little one like me. We had a lot of fun.

Five years later, we went our separate ways. She to Montreal and I to Vancouver (a suburb).

Then in July she was transferred to Vancouver! Joy! Happy, happy! But, I never heard from her again! (In fairness, she lives in an opposite suburb, an hour away by car). We are not neighbours anymore.

So, at Christmas, I got to thinking of her and why she hasn't contacted me. I decided to grab the bull by the horns and e-mailed her. I asked her politely "Where should I send your Christmas card to this year?"

She replied promptly with a catch-up e-mail on what she's been doing. She gave me her address in Delta, but get this, NO PHONE NUMBER! Also, she wrote not a word about why she hasn't at least telephoned me in 5 months.

To tell the truth, I wasn't planning on sending her a card. I just wanted to know what's up.

QUESTION: Is this "friendship" over? Now, I'm not interested in sending her a card after all.

 

[mickeymedic]

Have you remained in contact via email over the past 5 years? Or did you just happen to email her out of the blue? It might make a difference in her response.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Did you ask her for her phone number? Have you tried to call her in the past 5 months?

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

We have a semi-relationship where we forward items to each other. A letter here and there, nothing substantive.

And, since she moved, how could I have gotten her new number. The way I see it, the ball was in her court. She should have given me her number when she moved.

She's a great gal and after studying the friendship thread which I thoroughly enjoyed, I realize it's not easy to make new friends. Mind you, we haven't been "friends" for years.

My basic take is that she is too busy for me now in her new life.

 

[Angelhalo]

I would e-mail her back and ask her why you haven't heard from her. Tell her that you hope everything is alright, that you've missed her, and that you'd love to get together sometime. See what she says. If she skirts around that, then I'd assume its over.

 

[Camicar]

I think I'd probably send her a card with MY number on it and a note saying, "I'd love to talk to you sometime. Give me a call!" and then see what happens.

 

[mrsv98]

I think I'd probably send her a card with MY number on it and a note saying, "I'd love to talk to you sometime. Give me a call!" and then see what happens.

This is a great idea! It will give her the opportunity to get back in touch and if she doesn't, then you have your answer.

 

[mickeymedic]

I think I'd probably send her a card with MY number on it and a note saying, "I'd love to talk to you sometime. Give me a call!" and then see what happens.

I agree. Or even say "lets do lunch. Give me a call."

 

[mickeyboat]

In all fairness, you didn't ask for her phone number. You asked for her address. I would not take her omission as a slight, but if you really want to nurture your friendship, take the initiative. Ask for her number and try to plan a time when you can get together - maybe "meet in the middle."

Denae

 

[C.Ann]

I think I'd probably send her a card with MY number on it and a note saying, "I'd love to talk to you sometime. Give me a call!" and then see what happens.

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I would do the same thing.. Give her a second chance.. It's entirely possible (especially if she has a memory like mine) that by the time she got to the end of the email, she simply forgot to include the number..

Give it another shot and see what happens..