A letter to my future daughter-in-law

[mumom95]

Thanks everyone for letting me know I'm not alone and all hope isn't lost for my son

This morning before he left for school I asked him if he had cleaned up his room (his best friend was coming over tonight and spending the night to celebrate the end of the school year) and he gives me a cheery "sure did".

A couple hours after he left I walked in there to change the sheets on the bunk beds and I just couldn't believe what I saw. Clothes hanging out of the dresser drawers, clothes in his closet just dangling from hangers. To give him a little credit, last night his floor was covered with kinex and legos and this morning he threw them all in a big container and now just the container is in the middle of the floor. His dresser, desk and book shelves were all covered with all kinds of "crap" (that is my name for all the junk kids seem to be able to collect).

I just couldn't figure out how he thought his room was clean. I could tell he did do a couple of things, but when your room looks like a tornado went through it, picking up a couple of things does not make the room clean.

When he got home from school I took him up to his room and said "do you really think this looks clean" and he says "what" and I pointed at the dressers with stuff crammed in and hanging out and he said "well the stuff last night was just lying on the bed, at least I put it away where it goes".

I just shook my head and walked out. I probably should have used that as a teaching moment, but honestly, I was just so dumbfounded that he would think it was clean that I couldn't bring myself to have a calm conversation with him.

I usually don't argue too much about his room. It's his space and for the most part I let him be in charge of it. He is supposed to clean it once a week as part of his chores/allowance, but I don't get too picky about it being spotless. When he is having people spend the night though, I usually ask him to make it presentable so it looks like he takes some pride in his space (and so the friend doesn't break a leg when trying to walk through the room).

I've worked with him different times try and show him how to properly clean and organize his room, but it apparently doesn't sink in.

So I just hope someday he turns around, or at least finds a very understanding significant other.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Dear future daughter-in-law,

As I was walking out of my 10 year old son's room this morning the realization hit me that I have failed as a mother. And then I realized that someday you will have to suffer the consequences of my failure. So please let me take this chance, before we have even met or developed a relationship to say I'm sorry. And please believe even though it may no appear to be true, I did try my very best.

I promise you that I did not teach him that putting clothes away means shoving them into drawers and leaving things hanging out so that the drawers won't close. I promise you mulitple times I have showed him how to properly hang a shirt on a hanger but I think I'm at the point where I need to have him tested for a clothes hanging disability.

I remember when he was younger I spent a day showing him how to carefully pull his sheet up over his bed and tuck in the corners and then pull the blanket up over the sheet and smooth it out. I don't know what happened, maybe my husband came in the next day and told him I was wrong and all you have to do is throw the sheet and blanket up towards the top to make a proper bed.

If I said it once, I said it a million times, "a place for everything and everything in it's place". But I guess I didn't point out that all over his bedroom floor isn't considered a proper "place".

So, I'm sorry, so very sorry. Just remember some day when you are refolding his clothes to get the dresser drawers closed and when you trip over his junk all over the floor on your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, that he didn't get any of these traits from me. His handsomely, rugged good looks and witty inteligence he gets from my side of the family. His complete lack of organizational skills must come from his father's side of the family. And if I had to guess, like all other bad traits my kids have, it can be directly linked to my mother-in-law (at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it .)

So, feel free to call and vent anytime you want. I will not judge you.

-mumom95

Mother in law??? Is this a letter from dh's past? I fully blame my mil to her face about my dh's inability to keep rooms tidy.