A lady was mean to my 4 year old today..

[MichelleVW]

OMG he should be stoned.

He's 4, I don't see the annoying behavior of a pre-school aged child as rude. I do see the behavior of crotchety old women as such. YMMV

When does it become rude? 5? 6? 12?

 

[merryweather20]

I bet you have never had kids. Karma baby.

Good manners should never be left at the door, no matter how old and mean you might have become.

Ooops! Then your child would need good manners too. It would mean they couldn't go up to strangers and ask personal questions like you are teaching him/her.

 

[sunnydoozer]

The kid obviously wasn't in a grouchy mood....he was trying to be friendly to the lady and she grouched back at him.

Nice tolerant lady?.....oh, please, she was being anything but tolerant.

Yup!

Sure beats the OP who called her names "mean" and the subsequent posters who called her a "witch" and an "old codger".

She minded her own business, didn't smile at a child who was misbehaving, and then made a quick comment (or gentle rebuke as another poster said) when the child kept on, kept on bothering her

Yup! sounds like a nice lady to me. Sure beats a grouchy kid that isn't minding is Mom, and keeps misbehaving!

 

[Jennasis]

Which is worse...a kid or sitting next to Jennasis with the pyrotechnic bowel issues.

....would hopefully not smell like Jenassis.

That's right...McDonald's makes me fart.

 

[glitterkittyy]

That's right...McDonald's makes me fart.

LOL I don't think Mickey D's is good for anyone's digestive health.

 

[Carys]

I am not sure I see why anyone has to be the bad guy in this story
I see:

4 year old--being a bit rude but nothing over the top and being corrected.
Mom--correcting as needed
Lady--validly annoyed by rudeness of four year old and let him know without being mean (mean would be to tell him to shut up or call him a brat, etc) but not sugar coating either.

Should be essentially a non issue for all involved.

Without reading all of the undoubtably detailed analysis that will have followed in this thread I have to say I agree with NHdisneylover - I fail to see the issue, sounds like a non-event.

 

[Boxley]

Great, the original DisZilla herself wants in on it. lol

I put on my Mickey hat, Tinkerbell pajamas and slippers....the fight is ON

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

My child would have been told that it isn't nice to touch things that don't belong to him/her.

The OP did tell him that, in earshot of the woman (well she said it was rude, pretty much the same thing).

 

[smkiya]

Come on, I need to go to bed already!

I'm really surprised at some of the recent responses. As I've mentioned before and a pp did, it's the lack of reprimand from the parent that I'm sure made all the difference to this woman. Not everyone wants to be engaged by others, sometimes you just want to be left alone to enjoy your meal. Sitting next to someone doesn't open the door for a new found friendship. Maybe you're an extrovert and you think I am to, when you realize I'm not, then STOP. This did not occur, and the child was allowed to continue to annoy this poor woman. If this older woman had given the boy her name, at what point would he stop? Probably never. No, I don't expect a 4 year old to truly understand these cues, but a mother should. Maybe what was really and truly annoying to this woman was not the young boy behaving like a young boy, but the mother who allowed it to continue.

 

[dumboiu]

Come on, I need to go to bed already!

I'm really surprised at some of the recent responses. As I've mentioned before and a pp did, it's the lack of reprimand from the parent that I'm sure made all the difference to this woman. Not everyone wants to be engaged by others, sometimes you just want to be left alone to enjoy your meal. Sitting next to someone doesn't open the door for a new found friendship. Maybe you're an extrovert and you think I am to, when you realize I'm not, then STOP. This did not occur, and the child was allowed to continue to annoy this poor woman. If this older woman had given the boy her name, at what point would he stop? Probably never. No, I don't expect a 4 year old to truly understand these cues, but a mother should. Maybe what was really and truly annoying to this woman was not the young boy behaving like a young boy, but the mother who allowed it to continue.

Very well said!

 

[Phil'sFrontier]

Wow, going on 400 posts.....wow

 

[JerseyJanice]

LOL I don't think Mickey D's is good for anyone's digestive health.

McD's burgers are definitely not for wimpy dogs as I've learned on another recent Dis thread. One thing to love about the Disboards--you can learn a lot of stuff about a lot of things here.

 

[Boxley]

McD's burgers are definitely not for wimpy dogs as I've learned on another recent Dis thread. One thing to love about the Disboards--you can learn a lot of stuff about a lot of things here.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Good gracious this thread went nutty while I was sleeping I feel oddly compelled to make a few more points

I see a lot of comments saying the child should be taught not to talk to strangers. While I think how the child went about it was misguided (child was not rude, mom was close when she did not redirect him when lady was clearly not interested in her child), saying chidlren should never talk to strangers is also misguided.
I do not teach my children to avoid talking to strangers. Talking to strangers is often required in life, and it is how you make friends. Personally, I want to raise my children to be friendly and outgoing people. I DO teach them to read cues from people and strike up conversations accordingly. Even at 4 they would have known that a stranger who had had to ask them to behave (stopp tapping the booth) would not want to converse beyond hearing "I'm sorry." They would have also known starting off by asking someone's name is rude. You start of with a smile, perhaps a simple hello and gage reactions from there. You introduce yourself first, rather than asking for someone's name, etc. No, I would not expect a four year old to know all of that--but I would expect mom to and to intervene to help teach her four year old this.

I also see lots of comments equating people who do not like rude behaviour from children to people who do not like children. This is so wrong. I am appalled that so many adults have so little respect for children that they belive children are incapable of being taught how to behave nicely and then doign so. I really, really like children and I have enough respect for them to do them to believe they are capable of being kind, polite, and generally nice people to be around.

To the mom who came back from the WalMart thread: I think it is a good idea to learn to let go a little and laugh at yourself. Maybe you need to think of the walmart screech as this thing that was awful at the time but now is kinda funny and got you some notoriety on the DIS Bring it up yourself in a thread like this sometime--"Well, my kids are walmart screechers, not purse pokers, so I really can't help you." or something lightehearted like that. Most of the people whom I saw bring up wal mart (with or without screeching) seemed to be trying to lighten the mood and take the pressure off the OP--not attack you.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Good gracious this thread went nutty while I was sleeping I feel oddly compelled to make a few more points

I see a lot of comments saying the child should be taught not to talk to strangers. While I think how the child went about it was misguided (child was not rude, mom was close when she did not redirect him when lady was clearly not interested in her child), saying chidlren should never talk to strangers is also misguided.
I do not teach my children to avoid talking to strangers. Talking to strangers is often required in life, and it is how you make friends. Personally, I want to raise my children to be friendly and outgoing people. I DO teach them to read cues from people and strike up conversations accordingly. Even at 4 they would have known that a stranger who had had to ask them to behave (stopp tapping the booth) would not want to converse beyond hearing "I'm sorry." They would have also known starting off by asking someone's name is rude. You start of with a smile, perhaps a simple hello and gage reactions from there. You introduce yourself first, rather than asking for someone's name, etc. No, I would not expect a four year old to know all of that--but I would expect mom to and to intervene to help teach her four year old this.

I also see lots of comments equating people who do not like rude behaviour from children to people who do not like children. This is so wrong. I am appalled that so many adults have so little respect for children that they belive children are incapable of being taught how to behave nicely and then doign so. I really, really like children and I have enough respect for them to do them to believe they are capable of being kind, polite, and generally nice people to be around....

I agree that "don't talk to strangers" has been pushed too far. "Do not GO WITH strangers", certainly, but when you are with your own trusted adult, it's all right to speak to people! Mabye the lady was grumpy because the last time she did answer a kid, the mother got mad at her for that.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Mabye the lady was grumpy because the last time she did answer a kid, the mother got mad at her for that.

quite possibly!

 

[rie'smom]

Without reading all of the undoubtably detailed analysis that will have followed in this thread I have to say I agree with NHdisneylover - I fail to see the issue, sounds like a non-event.

This is the DIS, there's no such thing as a non event!

 

[jazzielady]

If the kid was in her space (touching her pocketbook) then he got what he deserved - signals that she did not want him in her space. Now, of course I'm questioning why she sat next to him in the first place - was it that crowded, no other clean tables, etc?

I agree with the whole thing, but I have to say that I have been to MickeyD's at lunch and dinner time where literally there were no seats to sit in. She may have found this one spot to squeeze into where there were no others.

Now, if there were plenty of other tables, cleaned and ready, and she picked the one right next to your son, then I question her judgement.


But who are we to judge this woman? I'm sure I wasn't the friendliest person when I learned my dad had terminal cancer, got laid off, just left the vet's office after having my cat put to sleep, my dd left for college, my husband just got his 3rd dui....you get my drift.

I learned my lesson one day in the grocery store while checking out. The lady in front of me was grouchy as all get-out. When she left, the check-out girl and I just rolled our eyes at each other and I said, "Well, you never know, maybe her dog died yesterday." The cashier's eyes welled up and she said "my dog did die yesterday". I felt like such a donkey. I apologized and we finished up and I moved on.

Point being, you never know what is going on in a person's life. Not that it excuses bad behavior, but explains it. I try to be polite wherever I go, but sometimes I just can't put on my DisneyWorld persona, where everyone is happy all the time. "Fake it till you make it" doesn't always work.

 

[glitterkittyy]

One more post to make it 400.

 

[glitterkittyy]

400! ​

Had to be done!