A "How-To" Walk Through of Drinking Around the World at Epcot World Showcase

[notfrostyjosh]

Borrowed from http://www.easywdw.com/adults/drink-around-the-world-at-epcot-world-showcase-disney-world/

Updated December 28th, 2010 with updated pricing and new options in the Mexico Pavilion, Refreshment Coolpost, Germany, France, and near Canada.

Updated September 7th, 2010 with new drinks available in Canada and Norway.

Introduction to Drinking Around the World

Alcoholics and “I’m not an alcoholic I just like to consume alcohol” drinkers unite (I don’t judge). A favorite activity of many Disney vacationing adults is “drinking around the world.” For the uninitiated, the World Showcase at Epcot is made up of ten distinct areas, each themed like a country during an important time in their history. You’ll find unique gifts, fun shows, immersive activities, and the occasional ride. Of course, even more significant than hockey jerseys or harp shows is the food and drink available. Each country offers quasi-authentic food – hamburgers in the United States, tacos in Mexico, and sushi in Japan for example. You’ll also find international beers and select mixed alcoholic drinks in all of the represented locales. The goal of drinking around the world is to consume an alcoholic drink in each country before (or while) moving on to the next. Yes, at least ten drinks in all.

Can I Handle This?

You might hear about someone riding all the rides at the Animal Kingdom in one day or riding Splash Mountain 500 times over 20 years. These are insignificant achievements compared to what you are attempting to accomplish. Anyone can follow a laundry list of rides to run to or spend all their money on Disney vacations. Not everyone can continue to consume alcohol while their liver begs for forgiveness, the 100 degree sun beats down, and each country seems to inch further and further away. Ten drinks is probably a lot and you may be able to have just as much fun drinking at every other country or just the particularly “good” ones. You don’t get any additional points for failing to crawl back to the monorail station, so consider your limits and don’t become hypnotized by what may be unachievable. It’s okay, you can always practice and return at a later date. The margaritas will still be there. Just hope they don’t add any additional countries in the meantime.

I Really Want to Achieve the Impossible, What Training Do You Suggest?

This is the most common question I receive. The method I recommend is entering the smallest, most cramped room in your home (that isn’t a bathroom) and turning the heat up as high as possible. If you have any additional space heaters, you’ll want to bring those with you and plug them in as well. Prepare your portable refrigerator or freezer with one of your least favorite alcohols or beers. This will help endurance and prepare you for a beverage that may not be to your taste. There’s nothing worse than receiving a Canta Loopy that slows you down because you don’t like the flavor. Once you’ve prepared your room to properly simulate Orlando weather, open your first beer or mix your first drink and consume it while running in place at a brisk pace (a treadmill is even better, you might want to purchase one). Continue running while consuming one drink every 30 minutes for five to six hours. Instruct your significant other to enter the room once per hour and throw a large bucket of water on you. This will simulate the flash rain showers you can expect during summer months. If you have any kids, tell them to enter the room every 15 minutes and run around you as fast as they can while making as much noise as possible. Although this won’t accurately imitate the thousands of kids running around at Epcot, it’s the best we can do on such short notice and decreases your chances of strangling any of them. Actually, I’ve just gotten word from my lawyer and I have to advise you not to use the previously mentioned technique due to liability concerns. Looks like practice ideas are up to you. Sorry.

I’ve Convinced Myself I Can Handle This, How Much Is It Going To Cost Me?

Beers at Epcot cost about as much as they would at a professional sporting event or upscale bar. In other words, expect to pay between $6 and $8 each. Mixed alcoholic drinks and frozen margarita-like drinks run about $9, depending on ingredients and size. Some are slightly more or less expensive, but expect to pay that on average. Wine is slightly cheaper and available at most of the countries, but you’ll probably want to do most of your wine drinking in France and Italy as it’s rarer in several of the other countries. All in all, one alcoholic drink purchase at each of the ten countries will run you between $80 and $100.

Enough With This Technical Stuff. I Wanna Drink Already!

I don’t blame you. Let’s go over what’s available at each of the countries and what I would recommend ordering. You can also click any of the blue highlighted links to be taken to the full review for that country, including what attractions/rides are available and an overview of what else to expect in terms of food, scenery, and live shows. Other mentioned restaurants and whatnot are also highlighted in case you want to be taken to the full review for those as well.

There are two countries that you can start at, depending on if you want to walk around clockwise or counterclockwise. I would suggest starting with Canada if you’re going to drink beer and Mexico if you’re planning to drink hard liquor or mixed drinks. If you’re going to mix and match I would also recommend Mexico, so we’ll start there and work our way around.

Finally, with few exceptions, I only include the alcohol and beer available at the counter service locations and kiosks. All of the table service restaurants in Epcot would be happy to serve you an overpriced alcoholic drink, but stopping at any of them will take considerable time. You probably won't want to plan to get a drink from more than one or two of them at most.

Mexico

Mexico is the drinkers’ Mecca, both at Epcot and the “real world.” La Cava del Tequila, attached to the San Angel Inn restaurant, seats about 30 people and offers more than 70 tequilas ranging in price from about $8 to more than $50. The menu includes a great number of margarita interpretations, all of which are blended with fresh fruit and rimmed with exotic flavored salts. You’ll also find a variety of beers, including Tecate, Dos Equis, Sol, and Bohemia. The Bohemia is the best of the bunch, although all are brewed by the same brewer, Cervecería Cuauhtémoc Moctezuma, S.A. de C.V. They cost between $6.25 and $7.25. The frozen margaritas at La Cava are $9.25 and specialty margaritas are $12.50.

Outside, La Cantina de San Angel offers a 20 ounce Dos Equis beer ($7.50) as well as a number of frozen margaritas ($8.99). Dos Equis is an easy drinking American Adjunct Lager, similar to Budweiser, with a 5% alcohol by volume content. The margaritas are similar to what you would purchase on the Las Vegas strip or seedy take-out bar in the Bahamas. Full of sugar and drink mix, they’re not a good choice for those in it for the long haul. You'll find a coffee-flavored margarita, passion fruit margarita, and a raspberry-lime margarita.

Also outside, a margarita cart serves Dos Equis (20 oz. for $7.50) and several margarita concoctions. Most of them are similar to what you'll find at La Cantina - Margaritas ($8.99) flavored with lime, strawberry, mango, or a rainbow combination of several flavors. They are large, blended, and heavy on sugar and artificial flavoring. The kiosk also offers a "premium" margarita made with Patron Silver, Blue Curacao, lime juice, and rimmed with exotic lemon grass salt for $12.50. This margarita is similar to what you would receive at La Cava. While it is on the expensive side, it's also a better overall value than the $9 sugar-bombs.

I would recommend visiting La Cava to quench your thirst and request a to-go cup if you plan to take your drink with you. La Cava’s margaritas are far superior to what you’ll get at any of the promenade kiosks or counter services (save for the Patron specialty margarita). If you're in a hurry, the margarita stand is the way to go. If you're not ordering food, there's really no reason to wait in line at La Cantina because the drinks are very similar to what you would receive at the kiosk.

Norway

Kringla Bakeri og Kafe serves a 16 ounce Carlsberg Beer ($8), a Viking Coffee ($8.25), and a Bailey's Coffee ($7.25). Both are coffee drinks with either Bailey's Irish Cream or Kamora coffee liqueur. You may also run into the beer cart, which also serves Carlsberg Beer in a cup for $8 and in a souvenir stein for $11.25. Wine by the glass is also available from the cart for $5.50 to $7.50 per glass. Because the line at Kringla moves slowly, I would recommend purchasing your beverages from the beer cart. Akershus Banquet Hall serves a variety of specialty alcoholic beverages, the best of which is the Linie Aquavit Glacier Shot ($8.25), which is a mixture of Aquavit, Vodka, Sprite, and Lime. You’ll need a reservation and pay full price for the buffet to purchase a drink at Akershus though, which doesn’t make it the best choice for someone looking to continue binge drinking. Carlsberg Beer is a German Pilsner that’s brewed in Copenhagen by Carlsberg Danmark A/S and has a 5% alcohol by volume.

China

The Lotus Blossom Café serves bottles of Tsingtao ($5.75), Yuengling Traditional Lager ($5.25), Budweiser ($5.25) and a plum wine ($5). Yuengling is actually brewed in Pennsylvania so it’s not exactly “Chinese” in origin. I would probably go with the Tsingtao for the sake of authenticity, although it is also an American Adjunct Lager similar to Dos Equis and Budweiser and is commonly found in grocery stores. The Tsingtao Pure Draft is an even lighter beer with less flavor, but it is a bit rarer to find in the store. Either way, you’ll receive a 12 ounce bottle poured into a plastic cup.

Outside in the Pavilion is the Joy of Tea Stand. You’ll find a similar beer and plum wine selection as well as a variety of alcoholic ($7.50 each) and non-alcoholic ($4.50 each) cocktails. I would recommend the Canto Loopy, which is a mixture of vodka and cantaloupe juice. You’ll also find a few other options, including the Mango Gingerita, Peach Snapl, and Green Plum Bao Bingh. If you’re looking for something a bit different or like frozen drinks then I would recommend the Green Plum Bao Bing, which is made with plum wine and green tea. The Joy of Tea is usually quicker than the Lotus Blossom, so head there unless you’re purchasing food too.

Africa Refreshment Coolpost

The Africa Refreshment Coolpost isn’t a particularly necessary addition to the World Showcase. It’s just a small area with a cart selling refreshments, ice cream, cookies, and other assorted beverages. If you’re doing beer, the Coolpost offers a Safari Amber for $6.25 and a Land Shark Lager for $6.25. Safari Amber is brewed by Anheuser-Busch exclusively for the Disney Company and there are only a few select places inside of Disney World where you can purchase it (it's more common at the Animal Kingdom). It’s a decent American Amber similar to the Budweiser American Ale and tasted like it had an alcohol by volume of around 5.5%, although that information isn’t available as far as I know. Land Shark Lager is brewed by the Margaritaville Brewing Company in Jacksonville, Florida. It is also an American Adjunct Lager with an ABV of 4.7%. It's a light, refreshing beer similar to Corona. In other words, it's on the watery side and doesn't have a lot of flavor. Since it’s technically not a country, you could probably skip the Coolpost if you’re hurting at this point, otherwise I would order a Safari Amber if you’re a beer aficionado since you can’t get it anywhere else. The Coolpost may also serve Yuengling and Bud Light.

Germany

Germany is to beer what Mexico is to margaritas and the German Pavilion does the country justice. Sommerfest sells a variety of German beers and wines. If you enjoy wine, I would suggest the Gracheer Himmelreich Reisling Spatlese. The Liebfraumilch is not recommended and is actually referred to in Germany as one of the lowest quality variety of wines available. It's a semi-sweet white wine that generally costs just $6 or $7 per bottle. As far as beer is concerned, most anything from Spaten is excellent. I prefer the Optimator, but the Franziskaner is also fantastic (and more fun to say). They may also serve the Oktoberfest. I’d skip the Beck’s and order something a little more interesting. Be careful with the Optimator, it’s a Doppelbock with an alcohol by volume of 7.2%, which is about 40% higher than most of the other beers at Epcot and much more filling. I wouldn’t order it with food or you’re probably going to have some trouble getting the next beer down. Expect beer to run $7.50 for a half liter, $10 for a liter, or $12 for a souvenir-stein-full. Wines are usually in the $6-$8 range.

Seek out the kiosk for the quickest line and the best chance at finding a hard alcoholic drink, usually in the form of a shot of Jagermeister or schnapps ($7.25). They may also be serving an item called "Apfelkorn," which is a naturally sweet, apple flavored liqueur for $7.25. It has a relatively low alcohol by volume for alcohol (between 15% and 20%) and was not invented until the 1970s, but it is an interesting liqueuer that you may not be able to find locally.

Italy

The Italian drink cart features the extravagant Peach Bellini and Limoncello ($10 each), a variety of wines by the glass ($6-$11 or so), and a bottle of Birra Moretti beer served in a plastic cup for $6.50. Birra Moretti is a European Pale Lager with a 4.6% alcohol by volume content. It’s a light, crisp beer that probably won’t seem to have much flavor after finishing a Spaten in Germany. As far as wine is concerned, I would suggest the Col Di Sasso (Cabernet & Sangiovese) for $7, unless you particularly enjoy one of the other styles. Also check the store that sells wine for more choices. For hard liquor, I recommend the Limoncello, which is an intriguing lemon liqueur from Italy. If lemons aren’t your thing then the Bellini is tasty too and they may serve other frozen drinks as well.

United States (The American Experience)

The emphasis is on beer at the United States Pavilion, served at both the Liberty Inn counter service and Fife & Drum Tavern, which is a small kiosk rather than an actual tavern. You’ll find Bud Light ($5.50) and Sam Adams Boston Lager ($6.25), both about 16 ounces and served in plastic cups. Of course, whatever variety of Sam Adams that’s available will crush Bud Light for any beer snob, but you’ll know if you prefer Bud. You’ll be hard pressed to find a mixed alcoholic drink or wine in America, which is unfortunate considering the outstanding wineries throughout the U.S. and the many whiskey and bourbon distilleries. It would be a fantastic opportunity for Jim Beam or Jack Daniels, but nothing has ever come of it.

Japan

Japan is famous for its sake, which is available at a tasting bar inside the Mitsukoshi Department Store, at the Kaki Gori kiosk outside on the promenade, and at the Yakitori House counter service. You’ll find the best variety at the Mitsukoshi as well as the highest priced choices. Both the Yakitori House and Kaki Gori serve a 12 ounce Kirin Ichiban beer for $5.75, a 20 ounce version for $7.50, sake for $5.25, and a plum wine for $5.25. If you’ve never tried sake and you’re feeling queasy then you might want to skip it, but it should be fine for the adventurous and strong-tummied. If you’re unfamiliar, sake is an alcohol derived from rice and brewed similar to beer, but with an alcohol content usually in the 15-20% range. It can be a bit stiff if you’re not expecting it. As far as the beer choice, Kirin Ichiban is a Japanese Rice Lager with an alcohol by volume content of 5%. The 20 ounce is a much better deal per ounce than the smaller size, so consider purchasing the 20 ounce and splitting it if you’re looking for a smaller amount, rather than purchasing two smalls. Kirin Ichiban has a sweet, grainy taste that is fairly unremarkable. The Asahi Super Dry is very similar to the Kirin if they’re also serving that. I would strongly discourage the Kirin Light if it’s available.

Morocco

Call me ignorant, but if you asked me if Morocco was “big on alcohol,” I would tell you “probably not.” However, for the sake of commercialism, Morocco comes through with a kiosk serving frozen concoctions similar to what you would find at Mexico’s promenade counter service. In other words, expect ice and sugar blended with a little bit of alcohol. There is also a sangria available for $5.99. The kiosk and the Tangierine Café also serve Casablanca Beer ($5.50 for about 12 ounces), brewed by Brasseries Du Maroc and imported from Morocco. It’s another American Adjunct Lager with a 5% alcohol by volume and similar to Dos Equis, Budweiser, and others. It’s refreshing, but unmemorable. The Daiquiri is the best drink of the bunch, so look in that direction if you’re looking for a mixed drink.

France

France is a favorite Epcot drinking destination for wine enthusiasts and those that enjoy the frozen slushy style drinks. The kiosk in the France Pavilion serves a variety of wines and champagne by the glass ($6-$12), Kronenbourg 1644 beer (about 12 ounces for $6), and the extremely popular Grey Goose Citron Lemonade Slush and Grand Mariner Orange Slush ($9 each). Although not particularly manly drinks, both slushes taste like liquid candy and I would recommend either if you’re looking for a nice cool beverage. Neither has a lot of alcohol in it, so don’t purchase one looking to get sloshed. For $15, you can also purchase a taste of "Nuvo Vodka," which is purported to be the only sparkling vodka available on the market (and not to mention pink in color). If you're looking for something a little different, it may be the best option. It is expensive though and a 750ml bottle would run you about $35 in a retail store.

Kronenbourg 1664 is a European Pale Lager brewed by Brasseries Kronenbourg in France. With an alcohol by volume content of 5.9%, it’s slightly more stumble-inducing than the 5% American Lagers that are so prevalent at Epcot. Despite the high alcohol content, it’s still a light tasting beer that should appeal to the masses. If you have the wallet for it I would recommend one of the slushes, but don’t expect to necessarily get your $10 worth.

The United Kingdom

Other than La Cava at the Mexico Pavilion, the United Kingdom features the only real “bar” in the form of the Rose and Crown Pub. The Rose and Crown has an extensive menu of alcoholic beverages, the favorite being the Welsh Dragon which is a mixture of peach schnapps, melon liqueur, crème de menthe, orange juice, and pineapple juice. You can view the entire Rose and Crown Pub Menu here: http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/me...Crown/rose-and-crown-dining-room-menu-pub.pdf As you can see, they also serve a large variety of beer, single malt scotch, and wine. The Pub is usually crowded, but the bartenders are friendly and efficient and you should have your drink soon after you are able to elbow your way to the front.

Outside, the Yorkshire County Fish Shop counter service serves pints of Harp Lager and Bass Ale ($7.50 each). Harp Lager, brewed by Guinness, is a European Pale Lager with an alcohol by volume content of 5%. It’s a relatively light beer with a sweet, crisp flavor and a malty smell. Bass Ale is an English Pale Ale brewed by Bass Breweries Limited. Another above average beer, it bills itself as the “true” English Pale Ale and the majority of pubs in England use it in their Black and Tan. Bass is quite a bit more bitter than the Harp, but still easily drinkable with an alcohol by volume content of 5%. If you’re willing to cheat on your beer tour(blasphemy, I know), I would recommend ordering two beers at the United Kingdom and skipping Morocco.

Canada

Ah, the bittersweet end (or happy beginning if you decide to start here). Canada lacks a counter service location, so your choices are the full bar at the impossible-to-get-a-reservation-at Le Cellier or the kiosk outside in the Pavilion. Canada proudly serves Moosehead beer along with Labatt Blue and Molson. Occasionally you can also find Unibroue products like La Fin Du Monde and Maudite. Be sure to ask, because Unibroue is far superior to the macro brews, unless you prefer your beer watered down and relatively flavorless. Unfortunately, the Unibroue will also set you back a few extra dollars and it’s not always available. The Labatt, Molson, and Moosehead are all fairly similar, but I would recommend the Moosehead Lager. The kiosk also offers a "Torontopolitan ($7.75)," which is made with iceberg vodka, orange juice, chambord, and cranberry juice. It's a refreshing drink that is usually heavier on the alcohol content than other countries. Le Cellier does offer a full range of alcoholic beverages, but there is no actual bar to sit at and enjoy a drink. A little further down you may also run into the "Refreshment Port," which is similar to the "Refreshment Coolpost." Here, you'll find a frozen Barcardi Mojito ($8.25) that is similar to the frozen margaritas you'll find elsewhere. It isn't exactly "Canadian," but by this time you may be too sloshed to care. If the Torontopolitan doesn't sound good, seek out the Mojito.

Roundup

Beer: For those that like their beers to have flavor and character, the best beers at Epcot are the Spaten brews in Germany, the Sam Adams in the United States, and the beers in England. If Canada is serving Unibroue then you can add that to the list as well. Of the lighter beers, the Carlsberg Beer in Norway is the best.

The Kronenbourg, Kirin Ichiban, Dos Equis, Tsingtao, and Birra Moretti are middle of the road beers and not expressly recommended by name. They’re all fine, but it’s unlikely you’ll be impressed. The Bud Light and Casablanca are the only two I would shy away from if given the choice, but only because there are better or more interesting options.

Mixed Drinks: By far, La Cava inside of the Mexico Pavilion and the Rose and Crown Pub serve the best drinks in Epcot outside of the sit-down restaurants. I also recommend the slushes in France and the frozen concoctions in Morocco if you enjoy sugary beverages that are light on the alcohol. You may not find a true mixed drink in Japan (beer and sake), United States (beer), or Germany (beer, schnapps, and Jagermeister).

Wine: The best wines are found in Italy, France, and Germany. Drinking just wine “around the world” isn’t recommended because you’re going to be hard pressed to find wines in several of the countries, just like with the mixed drinks.

Some Final Tips

Be sure to consume a bottle or glass of water every two or three Pavilions. The heat, coupled with the alcohol, will dry even the wettest person out. You may also see people with custom made shirts that say something to the effect of them “drinking around the world” along with a list of countries on the back and a place for a signature of whoever is working at the kiosk or restaurant. While your author finds this sort of thing a bit tacky, you may want a souvenir from your experience (and you deserve one). I might suggest using the “passport” that’s available for purchase for about $10. It’s a real looking passport with pages, stickers, and stamps and the person working the alcohol will be happy to take a moment to say hello and sign their name in your book. Of course, you can also make your own and bring it along with you. Something like this might work also http://www.kidscraftsplus.com/c=eyKFCB5Z60ay7u522DeTvNZH6/product/E55-00/My-Passport-Book---1.html

As a cost saving measure and for the sake of endurance, you might consider sharing drinks at several of the countries. It’s easy to share, since all drinks are served in plastic cups. Most kiosks and counter service locations should be happy to provide an extra cup as well. You can always purchase a second (or third, fourth, etc.) drink if you particularly enjoy the first.

Good luck and try not to get kicked out.

 

[sissy_42]

I'm saving this in my favorites as "required reading before Disney" Thanks for taking the time to write this out

 

[loveysbydesign]

thanks for all the info!

 

[Rdonnel1]

YES!! Can't wait to try this since I'll finally be 21 on our August trip! Since I have three years of college under my belt I think I should have the stamina to do this!

 

[Credit Man]

I bow to your knowledge of EPCOT libations!!! Bravo.

 

[slipangle]

now THAT was a worthwhile post.

 

[Melodious]

I am THERE!!

Thanks for this

 

[MomtoGKC]

The only part I disagree with is when they say as you continue, "each country seems to get farther away..." I think each country seems closer - as in, "Oh no - here comes another one - I'm not done with this drink yet!"

 

[afwdwfan]

I'm beginning to feel a little tipsy just from reading that one. Ten drinks in an afternoon doesnt' sound all that bad, until you read it all in detail like that.

Great post!

 

[MomtoGKC]

Ohm and the bakery in Norway was my little secret during the F&WF. I'm not a big wine drinker, especially in the mid-day heat. So while my friends were sampling wines I would order the beer. Of course some places had long lines, except the Norway bakery! I guess either everybody wants the wine or else they never imagine a bakery selling beer. Of course the people working there probably thought I was crazy, since after a bunch of beers I was trying to say thank you in Norwegian!

 

[bigyanks]

im going to try this out in Dec. do they have any specialty holiday mixed drinks?

 

[amyj1024]

DH, an avid beer drinker and brewer , had no trouble drinking around the world. He is 6'4 and about 260 so I'm sure that has something to do with it! Altho, we couldn't seem to get a beer in Italy and he had to settle for a glass of wine. It was also this past Februrary and it was about 50 degrees out so no big heat to deal with. It was one of his favorite things we did at Epcot!

 

[MN Dis Fans]

EPCOT is my favorite park!

The DW & I try and do the F&W festival every year. Although it sounds like a lot of drinking (it is). I find it so spread out, as we are stopping to listen to Off Kilter, while having a brew: British Invasion, while having a brew, etc. etc. etc. well, you get the picture. It probably takes us 6 - 7 hours to work our way around; so it is nicely spread out, and a really enjoyable day!

 

[#1hoosierfan]

Great post!

I am so excited about doing this. My mom is watching my boys one afternoon/evening so dh and I can drink our way around the world. We will have to share at some countries so that we can still make AK rope drop the next morning, however.

 

[Cat0727]

Love it, great post! I am going to show this to my boyfriend.

 

[Rockclimber]

Great post! Drinking around the world is on my bucket list. I am not a big drinker anymore, so I guess I better start my training now. I even have a treadmill already.

I'll have to plan during a trip when it's just me and the mrs, so she will only need to be responsible for getting me back to the room.

 

[notfrostyjosh]

Yeah, "pacing yourself" is definitely the key to success, especially in the heat. There isn't that much alcohol in a lot of the mixed drinks. Mexico and England are where you'll find the stiffest and anywhere else that will potentially sell you a shot like Germany and Italy. I think if France could put Grand Marnier on a string and dip it in the slushes they would. Generally the larger beers are a "better deal" per ounce so it's usually smarter to buy the 20 ounce+ size. Less chance of sobering up too.

 

[nocomment711]

Thanks for the wonderful information! (=

 

[nyisles84]

Just completed this 2 and a half weeks ago with 3 of my friends. Amazing. Heat was intense. Had a break in China and got some orange chicken. In retrospect, prob not the best choice while heavily drinking in 95 degree heat. All and all it was great. Plunked down about 85 bucks. Monorail back to BLT was interesting. I then proceeded to float around in the pool at the resort for a bit afterwards as well.

My best advice, make sure the next day is an off day from the parks and just relax. You'll thank yourself

 

[amzking]

Paragraph three, about the recommended training, had me in stitches. Great post!