DIS Dads A Grand Tour of The Entire Midwest, But Mostly Wisconsin (UPDATE 11/12--BONUS Texas TR NOW COMPLETE)

[Captain_Oblivious]

Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?

No, I want to play Global Thermonuclear War.

Some good does come from talking.

Depends on who's doing the talking. And whether anyone is listening.

Will need to make a note of that for future reference.

I think all the info is on their website.

Probable the inner framing and shell of a real one.

Works for me!

Sergeant, I hope you like vodka.

Yes, sir. I just hope they don't make me eat none of them damn fish eggs.

Including the exit numbers gives a good idea of the size of the complex.
Something one does not always stop to consider.

The NPS has a helpful map on the site too. It worked well for helping me plan the day out. Doing the loop around the Badlands worked really well.

Or an internment camp barracks

Definitely goverment-issue.

I say: as a smoker.
Can’t ever have too much smoked meat on hand.

Agreed.

Cadillac-Gage - Ranger
Also called a “Peacekeeper”

Most of those have been bought up by various police departments over the years.

That's what it was! He referred to it as the Peacekeeper. I knew I'd brought this to the right place.

A bit like driving a Conestoga along the Oregon Trail
(without the dysentery, one hopes)

Suddenly, the minivan seemed very desirable.

Right man for the job

We liked him quite a bit.

I like it…
And, of course, all jokes are better when you aren’t the one suffering the consequences.

Exactly.

Oooo, Oooo…
When y’all do go back to DC sometime try to see the Spy Museum.
(ignore this if you’ve already done it)
One of the fun parts is when they assign you a false identity at the beginning of the tour and then quiz you on the details later on to see if you could get past the visa and immigration officials.
(I was a farmer from Volgograd visiting relatives on a green card. They never suspected me)

Been there, done that! I seem to be remember being a representative of a textile company on a business trip.

We really enjoyed that museum. They had a cool temporary James Bond exhibit last time I was there. And I have a t-shirt confirming that I was never there.

The Chinese were only using a simple polyphonetically grouped 20-square-digit key transposed in boustrophedonic form with multiple nulls. I broke it with this... [Holds up a kid's cipher disk]

You're just like the people who framed Pete Rose.

The mural of harmless deer in a forest clearing is a nice touch.

Apparently the missileers could decorate the place as they so chose.

Then you really have to vet the cooks in such assignments
Just ask Captain Ramous what happens when you don’t.

Yep, it's a weak point. Next thing you know, the cook is trying to hotwire a missile launch.

Credit card? What for…
To call out for pizza?


(yeah, I know that’s actually referring to their “Creds” or ID Cards, but I couldn’t resist)

I just thought it was funny to see a relatively normal list with "books to be burned" at the end.

I feel safer already

That makes one of us.

So, lots of tapes of dark money funded political advertisements then, right?



Oh the joys of being in the broadcast area of a swing state…

2 1/2 more weeks...

And probably only slightly more than the AGS aboard the LEM.


Those were some seriously brave men there.

Amen. It really is astonishing what they could accomplish.

I find the Statue of Liberty logos on the edge of the note book particularly comforting in this setting…


"You Maniacs!...”

It all makes sense now. Those movies were right!

And it’s quite superior to Generic Crypto

I don't always crypto, but when I do, I make sure it's secret crypto.

The perfect personnel choice for when something needs to happen…

Couldn't agree more.

Yeah…that’ll do it.
I mean, what’s the half-life of Cesium-137, anyway?
A few days at best, right?

Give or take.

I knew it.
Had to be the smartest one in the group

More like Sparky’s then.
(if you travel to and from Myrtle Beach along US-501 on a regular bases, this reference would make a lot more sense, but it gives me the proper frame of reference so just trust me on this.)

I have driven US 501 there a couple of times, but Sparky's doesn't ring a bell.

You bet your sweet bippy it is.

I knew it!

Likely so….
Some of its near relatives have been known to guard caves and meat out death…
“with nasty big pointy teeth!”






“What an eccentric performance. “

I warned you! I tried to warn you!

I can see your trepidation in this exchange.

Good news: it is no longer an issue.

Show of hands; who here is shocked by this revelation?



Yeah, I though not.

All of parenthood is just organized chaos.

The outhouse behind the local Toco Bell?

Dang!
Missed it by that much.

Close. It was a worthy guess.

Well then you probably don’t really need to go out of your way to drop by my neck of the woods next summer.

(By the way, I really have been kibitzing on the loop you’ve written up and I will get those notes up to you in the near. I also suggest you simply ignore them when they get there.)

That's not to say there aren't occasionally exceptions to the rule. It is vacation, after all.

Looking forward to the list! I'm sure it will be a great help.

Hope this one was livable. Comfort Inns tend to be very hit and miss.
Some ain’t bad, some others…
Well…
One of those hits my list for one of the worst motel stays on record for us.

This was a good one. Had good reviews on Trip Advisor and I got a mediocre rate on it, as opposed to the gouging going on at the other hotels in the area.

“10,000 years in a Cave of Wonders ought to chill him out!”

Some all-powerful genie. I bet he can't even get us out of this place.

 

[afwdwfan]

She’d hooked us up with bagels, fruit, orange juice, and muffins. That was quality service.

Well, it's no Holiday Inn Express Cinnamon Roll, but you have to applaud the service!

And Sarah was feeling patriotic at the missile site. (Yes, she chose this shirt specifically for this tour.)

Nice choice!

That meant there were a total of 54 tickets available—we started counting the people in line in front of us and came up with 36. Whew—we were in!

But did you take into account that guy in front of you that was getting tickets for 20 friends?

We ended up with a magnet for the fridge declaring it a fallout shelter

It is! Indiana Jones proved it!

We went back to the visitor center to eat our gourmet PB&J lunch and finish up Junior Ranger activities. While we were there, a biker group pulled into the lot. One of them saw Drew eyeing up the motorcycle and gave him a chance to see it up close.

Cool! And based on the fact that you're here to write about it, I'll just assume that he didn't knock it over.

Between the overlooks, the visitor center, the hiking/climbing, and lunch, I’d say we spent about 4 hours or so exploring Badlands National Park. It felt about right. And it provided a great way to spend the time while we waited for our tour of the missile site. It was nice to have the itinerary work out according to plan for once!

Not a bad diversion at all. I'd say your plan worked out really well!

The National Park Service offers a free cell phone tour of this site—you just call into a number and walk around the site, following the prompts as the narrator describes the purpose of each item at the site. We didn’t have time to walk around and follow along step-by-step, but we tried calling in while we were driving just to get an idea of what we were looking at. It was pretty helpful.

What? You can get cell phone service out there?

Anyway, the ranger told us that for the tour, he wanted us to start thinking like spies and saboteurs

I thought that was a typical day in the Oblivious household? I mean how else can you try to stay a step ahead of Scotty?

We all piled in and the ranger closed and locked the gate. Only then did he ask us if we had insurance. The reason he asked is because we were all in an elevator built in a couple of weeks by a low bidder who’d never built one before and didn’t know how to spell the word “emergency”.

Well... you did say 20 - 30 feet. I mean it could be a much bigger fall...

Yes. I want to call in a bomb threat to the guy with the nukes.

That's not even like bringing a knife to a gun fight. More like bringing a feather to a gun fight.

 

[KathyM2]

Wow, that sure sounds like it was an interesting tour!! Very informative! And Wall Drug...well...yeah one visit is probably enough. Though I'm sure my kids could find a lifetime supply of junk to fill their rooms with if I let them. Those burgers look awesome!

 

[franandaj]

Gotta get up pretty early in the morning to beat me.

And we all know that I don't get up early in the morning, at least without going back to sleep again!

 

[Terra Nova guy]

getting off at exit 116 in the exact center of nowhere.

I always wondered where that was. Now I know…

It was a quick visit, but I wanted to make sure we got a look, because how many chances do you get to see an actual nuclear missile silo? It was hard to get a photo of the interior due to the glass reflecting the sunlight, but we managed to get this one:

That is pretty darn cool, real missile or not.

I present to you the imposing, intimidating Delta-01 command facility, which looks exactly like a structure designed to end life as we know it:

See, I knew those Hollywood movies had been lying to us all these years. I was picturing an armed fortress like something out of the Avengers, but the reality is more like Storage Wars.

The ground floor of Delta-01 had all of the government-issue blandness you’d expect. The officer’s quarters:

Bland yes, but you have to give them props for the funky (1970s?) carpeting.

I even found this reminder posted on the elevator wall. Imagine if this was your daily honey-do list.

While staring at the South Dakota landscape for hours on end is the height of boredom, it is somewhat offset by the fact that part of your required daily task involves burning things. I do enjoy a good campfire, although you probably wouldn’t be roasting marshmallows at that one.

And in defense of tourist traps, I’ll say this: when I go on vacation, I don’t want to see ordinary homes, buildings, or neighborhoods. I want to see things I’d never get to see at home. This fits that description. And when you think about it, isn’t Disney World a very nice, luxurious, high-tech tourist trap?

I really can’t argue with that.

Or you may want a wine/beer bottle holder. You never know if you need one of those.

OK, well now they aren’t being sincere. The bear and the moose are clearly rip off souvenirs from Canadian tourist traps.

All in all, we probably spent about 20 minutes, including a bathroom break, wandering and either laughing or rolling our eyes at the sheer stupidity of the place. It was probably about 17 minutes too long, but now we’ve been there, and…well, we probably don’t need to go back.

True, but if you hadn’t gone there, wouldn’t you still be wondering?

 

[Dugette]

I was a little behind, but just caught up on your adventures in my old stomping grounds (Black Hills area). Very interesting, especially the missile site, which I've never been to. Thanks for sharing everything. Looking forward to more.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

No, I want to play Global Thermonuclear War.

Fine.

Depends on who's doing the talking. And whether anyone is listening.

Negotiating would have been a better choice of verb.
Not always productive, but we have to start somewhere.

The alternatives ain't very pretty.

Yep, it's a weak point. Next thing you know, the cook is trying to hotwire a missile launch.

…careful what you shoot at.
Most things in here don't react too well to bullets.

I just thought it was funny to see a relatively normal list with "books to be burned" at the end.

Bradbury-esk to be sure.

2 1/2 more weeks...

I don’t really see anything stopping or changing at that point.
I believe it’s too late for that.

I have driven US 501 there a couple of times, but Sparky's doesn't ring a bell.

It’s a bit hard to miss
Maybe you pick up the road farther along.



Actually…
That makes Wall Drugs look as artful as the Guggenheim

I warned you! I tried to warn you!

Oh, shut up!

Good news: it is no longer an issue.

That is good news.
He’s moving right along.

All of parenthood is just organized chaos.

Wait…
Your ciaos actually has some semblance of organization?

Is that even possible!!

Some all-powerful genie. I bet he can't even get us out of this place.

Excuse me? Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here?
And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so, not right now.

You're getting your wishes…
so sit down!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Haven't seen that movie in... decades.
(And yes, I know that's not exactly what it says.)

I haven't seen it in decades, either. Which is why I probably didn't get the quote exactly right.

You were 180 degrees from being in the exact center of somewhere, then.

Sounds about right.

You'd think they'd make those things harder to find.
It's almost like they want the Russians (or the enemy du jour) to find it and bomb it first.

Well, they definitely wanted the Russians to know it was there. With thousands of others.

Huh. Not bad.
Provided you're not a tourist from another country of course.

Well, then you're screwed.

Excellent point.
And yes, I'd be very interested in seeing this.

So cool! Amazing that it's right there, off the highway, for anyone to see.

Actually, a pretty good shot!

Thanks!

Heh, heh, of course it's not... don't stand too close, or you'll start to glow.

Cool! I always wanted a super power.

Well, at least you tried.

Or my kids did.

Funny. You mention later what my exact thoughts were.
"I wonder if Drew's potty trained? Because if not, you got the better part of that deal."

We got the tour, they got food shopping in Target. We definitely won that one.

Actually... it does.
1950's architecture designed to look like a normal, non-descript, non-threatening building.

Terrifying in its blandness.

Did she have an accent? Was her name Natasha?

Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. It was Svetlana.

And also where they made really good ribs.

Mmmm...ribs...

Under the B, that's B for bomb, one.

Just how secretive was this place? Every time some poor farmer wanders too close this armored truck bounces over.

Many businesses in the area would offer specials to the missileers. So, not very secret.

Russian rabbits.

It's a thing.

I wouldn't put it past them. I remember the guy in Red October wanted to live in Montana and raise rabbits.

Seat belts and kidney belts mandatory.

Perfect for your back!

Remind me never to travel with you.

It would be funny...later.

It's got to be one of the women.

They're the smart ones.

Actually, that doesn't look half bad.
Then again... I noticed you didn't show us the enlisted men's quarters.

Here you go. I skipped this one before because I try not to post too many similar-looking photos.

Wow! Look at the size of that wall to wall TV!!

And... is it not just a little disturbing that they have Battleship?
"Well, if I can't launch a missile, I'm going to pretend I can."

I bet they made explosion sound effects and stuff when they played. It's more realistic that way.

"That's it Herb. That's the last time you steal my Twinkie!"

So, poison the food as they're buying it. Check.


Whoops! Did I say that out loud?

I'm sure somebody thought of that.

Better there than in the bunker.
There you get sunrise/sunset views. Animal sightings. Weather/clouds.

Good point.

That "Books to be burned" really stands out.

Yep, that's what caught my eye!

I don't know whether to or

At least it wasn't a huge drop.

My first thought was "Why build an elevator for 20 feet and not a set of stairs?"
But then I realized it was probably a security matter. Harder to break in if you can't access the elevator. Slow people down a fair bit, anyway.

I think it was more for the guys to be able to carry all their gear. There was also an emergency ladder.

Interesting. I presume the entire thing was encased in those cinder blocks you see on the right.

It did appear that way, yes.

Huh. The size of that alone, must've been something.

Pretty neat. It looked like a complicated system.

Okay, that's just unnerving.

Yes. The end of the world seemed so matter-of-fact.

Same thing with the Apollo program.
Always amazes me.

Me too! Truly some amazing accomplishments.

So that's not just Hollywood!

Not in this case!

I've (a Foreigner! You're secrets aren't safe!) heard of it.

It's probably all on Wikileaks now.

Interesting how things don't change. That's very similar to our bomb threat manual.

Well, I guess if it ain't broke...

Sounds cryptic.

I don't want to confirm that here; it's too public.

This is one of those times when I don't want Scotty to happen.

Neither did they--they wouldn't give him a key.

So.... the whole two keys thing.... not needed?
Well, that's kind of a bummer.

I think they had redundancies built on redundancies. Can't be too careful.

Uh, huh.
I extremely doubt that if it was targeted that there'd be anything there except a crater.
And one week supply, hunh? Assuming they survived, all the radiation would be gone in a week, right?

I'm pretty sure that's how it works. It's almost laughable, that they even had supplies.

Actually, I was thinking that if there was a fire, it could be used then.

That would probably work.

Interesting technique.

It made sense.

Yeah, that seems more likely.

Yep.

I knew it!!!
She has guilt written all over her.

Drew and Scotty would have been too obvious.

Cute pic of the family. Too bad you're going off to have Sarah arrested.

We gave Sarah a lot of crap for being the spy. The ranger was getting a kick out of it.

I guess so. Still, a little unnerving for the folks who lived around there.

I don't know that I could ever totally get used to that.

It really does look like a cool tour.
Someday I'm hoping to do it, especially since I live relatively close.

I highly recommend it! Hope you get the chance.

They must be doing well. That awning looks new and the shingles and signage look to be in good shape too.

Judging from the search we had to do for a parking space, they're doing just fine.

So... not cleverly hidden.

Not so much, no.

And that makes it okay, doesn't it? It's a gag, and they know it.

I think so. They know exactly what they are. No pretense.

I see you managed to spring Sarah from jail.
Was it a spy trade?

Extradition laws in South Dakota are very lax.

Pretty sure I've seen those. Or similar at least.

In crappy gift shops around the world!

Those things get around.
Seen 'em elsewhere too.

In crappy--oh, right.

So, basically they have their own Typhoon Lagoon. Gotcha.

Yes, just without the excitement or rides.

You've sold me. I'm going.

I just hope I haven't OVERsold it.

This got me curious. I wondered if the restaurant (not the building) was there when I was last there.

Nope. It's only been there for 25 years.
I was there in 1974.

The building, though--that's pretty cool.

We do the same for the same reason.

I hate waiting in lines! And I feel a sense of accomplishment when I beat the crowds.

A really good friend would've potty trained him first.

Great point! I'm telling him that next time I see him.

This always gets me.

Kids: "Yay! We tricked them into giving us our own table!"
Adults: "Yay! We tricked them into taking their own table!"

Don't tell the kids!

You have fireman's hats at your house? Cool! I'm coming to visit.

I think one or two survived the trip home!

Those burgers look pretty good.

They were pretty good. Not the best ever, but good.

We used to do that too.
It was nice to have a separate room to ourselves. As the DDs got older, they started to complain about the pullout couch. I invited them to pay for a room for themselves.

Exactly. Sometimes it's not even a separate room--just a half-wall separating the beds and sofa. Still nice to have the space.

Awwww.... all tuckered out.

He's a lot less of a handful that way.

 

[pkondz]

I haven't seen it in decades, either. Which is why I probably didn't get the quote exactly right.

Close enough for horse shoes and thermonuclear bombs.

Well, they definitely wanted the Russians to know it was there. With thousands of others.

I wonder... was that how it started? As in "Hey! Look what we're doing?" Or did that come later?

Well, then you're screwed.

Dang.

Cool! I always wanted a super power.

You have to bring a spider for that.

We got the tour, they got food shopping in Target. We definitely won that one

Terrifying in its blandness.

Now that's an interesting statement.

Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. It was Svetlana.

Shoot. Close, though.

Many businesses in the area would offer specials to the missileers. So, not very secret.

Yeah, I suppose so. How could you possibly hide it?

I wouldn't put it past them. I remember the guy in Red October wanted to live in Montana and raise rabbits.

That's right! Forgot about that.

Perfect for your back!

No kidding. I'll pass, thanks.

Here you go. I skipped this one before because I try not to post too many similar-looking photos.

Four to a room? Well, that sucks.

I bet they made explosion sound effects and stuff when they played. It's more realistic that way.

How often do you think they'd cringe every time there'd be an explosion.

Ruby actually complained about that a fair bit at her work.
Thankfully, at my work, we now have a mini fridge of our own. No more lost lunches.

I think it was more for the guys to be able to carry all their gear. There was also an emergency ladder.

Nah. I like my explanation better.

Well, I guess if it ain't broke...

...don't blow it up.

I don't want to confirm that here; it's too public.

Smart. Keep it on the DL.

Neither did they--they wouldn't give him a key.

Well, of course they didn't. We're still here, aren't we?

We gave Sarah a lot of crap for being the spy. The ranger was getting a kick out of it.

I don't know that I could ever totally get used to that.

I remember having several conversations with my friends when we were in our teens about how Winnipeg was a target (as was any major center with a transportation network.)

Extradition laws in South Dakota are very lax.

She's very lucky.

In crappy gift shops around the world!

Yes, just without the excitement or rides.

So almost identical, then.

I hate waiting in lines! And I feel a sense of accomplishment when I beat the crowds.

Great point! I'm telling him that next time I see him.

As long as you realize that if we meet.... I am not that friend.

They were pretty good. Not the best ever, but good.

That's pretty much what the picture looks like, too.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Such a fun tour!

It was pretty awesome!

Our GPS took us to the missile site instead of the visitors center or command center. I was a little underwhelmed thinking that was all there was. The few stray cattle wandering around seemed to be pretty used to the fact that there was a nuclear missile in their pasture. Thus proving once and again - cows are pretty bad a$$.

I bet they secretly run the place.

Luckily, though we did find the visitors center and got lucky with an afternoon tour like you. We had the same tour guide. That guy really loves his job.

He was kinda quiet, but he knew his stuff. And after a little while, his sense of humor started to come out.

Sarah is a spy?!? I thought she was paying a little to close attention on the tour we took later in your trip! (no spoilers for those reading along at home)

Well, my team plays yours later in the season. We were already working on securing an advantage.

Well, it's no Holiday Inn Express Cinnamon Roll, but you have to applaud the service!

Agreed. The cinnamon roll is the only thing that would have made it better.

Nice choice!

Captain America is always a good choice.

But did you take into account that guy in front of you that was getting tickets for 20 friends?

Of course not. I figured everyone else in line was just as selfless as me.

It is! Indiana Jones proved it!

I thought everybody hated that part!

Cool! And based on the fact that you're here to write about it, I'll just assume that he didn't knock it over.

These were nice, friendly bikers. I think.

Not a bad diversion at all. I'd say your plan worked out really well!

For once!

What? You can get cell phone service out there?

Can you hear me now?

I thought that was a typical day in the Oblivious household? I mean how else can you try to stay a step ahead of Scotty?

The saboteur part, definitely. That's pretty much Drew's mindset.

Well... you did say 20 - 30 feet. I mean it could be a much bigger fall...

Yeah, that's probably not fatal. Just extremely painful.

Yes. I want to call in a bomb threat to the guy with the nukes.

That's not even like bringing a knife to a gun fight. More like bringing a feather to a gun fight.

Seriously. I wonder if anybody ever did that. Or if they started to, and then got cold feet.

"Hello, nuclear weapons command center. Gus speaking."

"Hi, I want to...uh...um...er...is your refrigerator running?" (hangs up)

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Wow, that sure sounds like it was an interesting tour!! Very informative! And Wall Drug...well...yeah one visit is probably enough. Though I'm sure my kids could find a lifetime supply of junk to fill their rooms with if I let them. Those burgers look awesome!

I would definitely do the missile tour again. That was really a unique experience!

And we all know that I don't get up early in the morning, at least without going back to sleep again!

But you still get good sunrise photos!

I always wondered where that was. Now I know…

And knowing is half the battle.

That is pretty darn cool, real missile or not.

Agreed.

See, I knew those Hollywood movies had been lying to us all these years. I was picturing an armed fortress like something out of the Avengers, but the reality is more like Storage Wars.

I feel like all movies should use this as the new standard for evil lairs.

Bland yes, but you have to give them props for the funky (1970s?) carpeting.

That certainly is....unique.

While staring at the South Dakota landscape for hours on end is the height of boredom, it is somewhat offset by the fact that part of your required daily task involves burning things. I do enjoy a good campfire, although you probably wouldn’t be roasting marshmallows at that one.

This is true. Much like bacon and cheese, pyrotechnics make everything better.

I really can’t argue with that.

Hey, look at that! I was right!

OK, well now they aren’t being sincere. The bear and the moose are clearly rip off souvenirs from Canadian tourist traps.

Fine, but do you also have lacquered pieces of wood with paintings of Jesus on them?

True, but if you hadn’t gone there, wouldn’t you still be wondering?

Hmmm....would I have given it that much thought? I leaning no.

I was a little behind, but just caught up on your adventures in my old stomping grounds (Black Hills area). Very interesting, especially the missile site, which I've never been to. Thanks for sharing everything. Looking forward to more.

Hi Dugette! Thanks for sticking with me! I'm sorry, I think I missed 2 or 3 of your TR's at this point!

 

[Steppesister]

Who and how much did you have to pay for this shot? I see all the kids, so you clearly didn't pawn any of them off.

And once again, we see a real-life demonstration of the principle that rushing to immediate judgment of a situation before receiving all of the facts just makes you look like an idiot.

So, that makes me an expert idiot. Glad I have some company in my station.

It was nice to have the itinerary work out according to plan for once!

Score!

Hey, what does this button do?

So that's what happened to my house between the kids coming home and us coming home.

 

[Dugette]

Hi Dugette! Thanks for sticking with me! I'm sorry, I think I missed 2 or 3 of your TR's at this point!

Ha, no worries. I can't even keep up with them myself and I'm writing them!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Negotiating would have been a better choice of verb.
Not always productive, but we have to start somewhere.

The alternatives ain't very pretty.

I'm not a good negotiator. I care too much about whether people like me.

…careful what you shoot at.
Most things in here don't react too well to bullets.

Like me. I don't react well to bullets.

Bradbury-esk to be sure.

It's just a different reality.

I don’t really see anything stopping or changing at that point.
I believe it’s too late for that.

Yeah. No matter what, I'm not looking forward to the next 4 years.

It’s a bit hard to miss
Maybe you pick up the road farther along.

Actually…
That makes Wall Drugs look as artful as the Guggenheim

If I saw it, I probably dismissed it out of hand as yet another crappy t-shirt shop at the beach. You can't go more than 20 feet without seeing one down there.

That is good news.
He’s moving right along.

He was amazing with potty training. Took about a week.

Wait…
Your ciaos actually has some semblance of organization?

Is that even possible!!

Well, Julie is there with me. So that's where the organization comes from.

Excuse me? Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here?
And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so, not right now.

You're getting your wishes…
so sit down!

I can't believe it; I'm losing to a rug!

Close enough for horse shoes and thermonuclear bombs.

And government work, too!

I wonder... was that how it started? As in "Hey! Look what we're doing?" Or did that come later?

I really don't know the answer to that one. I'm sure it escalated quickly.

You have to bring a spider for that.

Crap. It was probably in the bag that sat in the rain.

Now that's an interesting statement.

I've seen terrifying blandness in movies before. Like those body snatcher movies.

Shoot. Close, though.

Missed it by that much.

Yeah, I suppose so. How could you possibly hide it?

I'm sure some farmer would eventually be plowing his field and suddenly stop and say, "Whoa...where'd this big hole come from?"

That's right! Forgot about that.

I felt so bad for that guy. He would like to have seen Montana.

Four to a room? Well, that sucks.

Just while they were on rotation there. They'd rotate back to the air base after their shift.

How often do you think they'd cringe every time there'd be an explosion.

Given the Domino's gag they painted on the door, I'm guessing they weren't too sensitive about it.

Ruby actually complained about that a fair bit at her work.
Thankfully, at my work, we now have a mini fridge of our own. No more lost lunches.

How do you steal someone's lunch? That just boggles my mind.

Nah. I like my explanation better.

Yours is much more fun.

...don't blow it up.

If I had a nickel for every time somebody told me that...

Well, of course they didn't. We're still here, aren't we?

...or ARE we?

I remember having several conversations with my friends when we were in our teens about how Winnipeg was a target (as was any major center with a transportation network.)

I never worried too much about Delaware. I mean, nobody cares about Delaware. Then I realized we were right in between Philadelphia, Baltimore, D.C....yeah, we're screwed.

So almost identical, then.

Not a fan of Typhoon Lagoon, I take it?

As long as you realize that if we meet.... I am not that friend.

I can't blame you there. That would be above and beyond for anyone.

That's pretty much what the picture looks like, too.

Truth in trip reporting.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

I'm not a good negotiator. I care too much about whether people like me.

As a manager, that's gonn'a be a bit of an inconvenience.

Like me. I don't react well to bullets.

Next time you get a bright idea just put it in a memo!

I can't believe it; I'm losing to a rug!

Well, l can't do any more damage around this Popsicle stand. l'm... outta here!

 

[Steppesister]

failing to cause a national security incident

What a boring trip you must've had.

Or at least, it would be funny in somebody else’s bag.

How to make friends and infl.....

Only the cook would have the key to the lock, to make sure no one could poison the food supply.

His name was Kronk.

Offutt Air Force Base in Omaha, Nebraska

Who the he11 named that? Sounds like an SBD euphemism.

Did they mention why the chair looked like an airline seat complete with a seatbelt? Just curious? Cuz that's just weird.

Here, Scotty demonstrates the proper technique for destroying a continent.

The boy's got some mad skilz!

You wouldn’t expect anything less from a military operation.

Buahahahahah!. HAHAHAHAHAH... LOLOOLOLOL, hahahahaha!

isn’t Disney World a very nice, luxurious, high-tech tourist trap?

Well, yeah, and I guess I don't mind going back once in a while either.

I would love to actually meet someone who would buy this crap.

Again, people, Rope Drop works.

Life lessons!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Who and how much did you have to pay for this shot? I see all the kids, so you clearly didn't pawn any of them off.

Well, we certainly tried our best.

Just traded photo duties with another passer-by.

So, that makes me an expert idiot. Glad I have some company in my station.

I have a black belt in idiocy!

So that's what happened to my house between the kids coming home and us coming home.

This is also called Chaos Theory in action.

Ha, no worries. I can't even keep up with them myself and I'm writing them!

Whew. I don't feel so bad then!

As a manager, that's gonn'a be a bit of an inconvenience.

Now you know my weakness. Don't tell anyone.

Next time you get a bright idea just put it in a memo!

It wasn't that lightweight stuff, either; this was that chunky industrial-type puke!

Well, l can't do any more damage around this Popsicle stand. l'm... outta here!

What a boring trip you must've had.

You saw that drive across North Dakota!

How to make friends and infl.....

Don't ask me for tips.

His name was Kronk.

Kronk was BY FAR the best part of that movie.

Who the he11 named that? Sounds like an SBD euphemism.

Without even looking it up, I'm guessing it was named after some politician who never accomplished much of anything.

Did they mention why the chair looked like an airline seat complete with a seatbelt? Just curious? Cuz that's just weird.

Built by the lowest bidder? Recycling parts?

The boy's got some mad skilz!

My kids are experts at destruction.

Buahahahahah!. HAHAHAHAHAH... LOLOOLOLOL, hahahahaha!

I see we have some military experience.

Well, yeah, and I guess I don't mind going back once in a while either.

Hey, me too!

I would love to actually meet someone who would buy this crap.

I thought it was only there for us to take photos to show people and say, "Who would actually buy this crap?"

Life lessons!

We seem to run into a lot of those.

 

[pkondz]

And government work, too!

Heh. I remember when we were told by management to stop using that expression. I mean, it's almost as if they wanted us to increase its usage!

I really don't know the answer to that one. I'm sure it escalated quickly.

Missed it by that much.

Sorry about that Chief.

I'm sure some farmer would eventually be plowing his field and suddenly stop and say, "Whoa...where'd this big hole come from?"

"And why is it glowing???"

Just while they were on rotation there. They'd rotate back to the air base after their shift.

Yeah, but it would suck during the shift.

Given the Domino's gag they painted on the door, I'm guessing they weren't too sensitive about it.

Good point.

Probably some joker always walking around popping a paper bag or something.

How do you steal someone's lunch? That just boggles my mind.

Never underestimate the human capacity for being selfish.

If I had a nickel for every time somebody told me that...

You'd have.... five cents?

...or ARE we?

Well since the latest theory is that we're all just a simulation, it's easily possible that we wiped us all out several times... but nothing that a good reset couldn't fix.

I never worried too much about Delaware. I mean, nobody cares about Delaware. Then I realized we were right in between Philadelphia, Baltimore, D.C....yeah, we're screwed.

Yep.

Not a fan of Typhoon Lagoon, I take it?

Actually, I think I am. It's been decades since I've been there, though.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Heh. I remember when we were told by management to stop using that expression. I mean, it's almost as if they wanted us to increase its usage!

It's like putting a sign over a big red button that says: DON'T PUSH THIS BUTTON.

"And why is it glowing???"

Must be one of them Superman crystals. Saw it in a movie.

Yeah, but it would suck during the shift.

Pretty much, yeah. Like when our snowplow operators have to bunk on cots when we're called in during a storm.

Good point.

Probably some joker always walking around popping a paper bag or something.

There's always one in every crowd.

Never underestimate the human capacity for being selfish.

I really shouldn't be amazed at this point.

You'd have.... five cents?

Nah, I'd still be broke.

Well since the latest theory is that we're all just a simulation, it's easily possible that we wiped us all out several times... but nothing that a good reset couldn't fix.

We're all in the Matrix. But I can't do the cool kung fu stuff.

Actually, I think I am. It's been decades since I've been there, though.

We really liked Typhoon Lagoon on our last visit. Mostly for the Crush 'n Gusher. I could have spent all day on that.

 

[Steppesister]

We're all in the Matrix. But I can't do the cool kung fu stuff.

Lame. You need to up your game some.