A Gifted Child?

[LisaInNc]

I had a meeting with the administrator at my DD's school about her skipping a grade. She is 7 and going from first to second grade. She was consistantly bored last year and was given 2nd grade reading, math and history.

Her school administors a standardized test to every student every year. It's the Stamford test.

The results staggered me. She is testing 5th grade level in a lot of areas and 8th grade for math.

I know she is bright but I didn't expect anything like this. What further brought home the point of it was we were shown the other scores of the kids in her class, without names. They were all in the 2-3 grade range. My DD was so much higher in each testing area.

My question is what to do now? She will be put into 3rd grade. We agreed she is tall so stature won't be a problem she will look like the rest of them. She is well behaved and socially ready for 3rd grade.

Should I be doing more to cultivate her? The administrator said she was clearly gifted. That word kind of scares me.

She is enrolled in a very small private school. The public schools in my community are truely a disgrace, the consistantly fail the minumum state standards. There isn't a guidance counselor at her school.

I guess my question is what do I do now?

 

[churchpilot]

Homeschool her and then you can advance her appropriately.

 

[DisneygirlTeacher]

She does indeed sound like a very bright little girl! Good for her, and you..you must be an awesome mom! And, I am really so glad there are parents like you that recognize her talents, yet, aren't afraid to ask questions about where to go from here. As a 28+ years experienced teacher, the only question I would have is the socialization part, but she sounds like that might not be a problem. If you think going to 3rd will be fine, tell the principal that you would like to try it for 6 weeks, then have another meeting with them. That way, you aren't locked in and can see how it goes. Sometimes being separated from their friends by going to another grade is a huge issue. And, even though she tests high, I would want to be sure she isn't on the low end of the 3rd grade knowledge (she probably won't be) when she could be the top of the class in 2nd grade. Be cautious and question everything. I know a girl that skipped 1st grade (went right from K to 2nd) and she always had trouble fitting in with that group, for some reason. Later on, her grades were C's and we all knew how bright she was and what she was capable of. That is just one example, I know, but tells you how it could end up. You are doing the right thing by questioning and being involved. My biggest advice is to give it a 6 week try. Here in private schools they don't have gifted classes, but in public school we do. Even if she stayed in 2nd, was tested for gifted and attended that, it might be all she needs to expand her learning! Good luck and let me know how it all turns out!

 

[daisyduck123]

My DD skipped 1st grade & it has truly worked out for the best. She is starting 10th grade this year & is doing beautifully academically, socially, & emotionally.

When she was in Kindergarten, the school principal & reading specialist highly recommended skipping her. We thought it over for a day or two, & then agreed. The principal said that in his 20 years as principal, my DD was the first child he'd ever skipped. He was right on the ball when he said it was the best thing for her. I am so glad we followed his advice.

 

[LisaInNc]

I would love to home school her but her Father is very opposed to it. We are divorced and usually co parent beautifully. We don't agree on this point and he feels so strongly that I have not pushed it. If I thought that it was the only option I would have that fight but the damage that it might do to our relationship isn't worth it at this point. We have agreed on this private school and we really like it. The classes are small maybe 6 kids per grade.

Her transition to 3rd will be easier than most because last year the first and second classes were combined, they shared the same room and teacher so my DD knows the kids going into the 3rd grade. The 3rd and 4th grades will also be combined.

We have not told her about these test results. I explained that she was going to 3rd grade because of doing so much second grade work last year. She is fine with that she knows the new teacher well.

 

[Missin'Disney]

I would also consider ways that you could enrich her home environment considering that kids are sponges at that age and you could really help her development in so many ways. Would she enjoy piano or violin lessons, art classes, foreign language instruction maybe? I think there are many things that can be done outside the classroom setting that would help her accomplish her full potential, considering she seems to have a lot of potential.
Good Luck!!

 

[unionville]

I have an 8 year old son that will be going into the 4th grade this year. He skipped 2nd grade. He knew almost all of the kids in his 3rd grade class due to subject acceleration and he knew the teacher. He had an awesome year socially and academically. We talked with him before starting the school year about not "bragging" about skipping 2nd grade. There can be some social issues, but so far we haven't encountered very many. As a parent and high school teacher, I'm more concerned with the high school years..... Good luck with your transition. My husband and I felt like it was one of the hardest decisions we had ever made.

 

[magchavez]

My son will be going into 1st grade this year. His kindergarten teacher last year suggested we have him tested for our school disctricts Gifted and Talented program. He did 4 hours of testing (over 2 days) and was accepted into the program. They only offer it at a couple of elementary schools in the district. He will be with 11 other 1st graders that are also 'gifted'. He will be doing 2nd grade math to start the year and reading will be on thier own level (most are at least 3rd or higher). It might be worth checking to see if there are any similar programs in your area.

 

[abdmom]

I am a former teacher at a small private school for gifted children.

Just to clarify what the results of your dd's testing mean. 8th grade level means that she tested on 1st grade material at the same level as the average 8th grader (or 5th grader, whichever the case may be). It does NOT mean that she is capable of doing 5th grade or 8th grade work. I know you weren't planning to accelerate her THAT much.

I would strongly recommend having her tested independently. Many child psychologists will do that. Often a gifted child is very strong in certain areas and extremely strong in others. And sometimes they are just average or weak in others. So, it seems to the child that the areas that they might just be strong or average in, are very difficult and frustrating for them. They don't understand the material as quickly as the areas in which they are extremely strong. Sometimes, they start to avoid the areas they are weaker in and they just get weaker. So, it's good to know what's relatively easy for your dd and what's relatively harder.

There are quite a few resources out there for parents of gifted children. They are easy to find with an internet search. There are also more and more schools that are solely aimed for the gifted student. Some are private but many are public. I was able to find some in NC. The advantages to this is that a child is with their age AND academic peers. For some very gifted children, even skipping a grade or two does not bring them to the point where they are academically engaged. If she was bored in 1st grade last year, she could very well be bored in 3rd grade this year.

I would not share her test results with her.

BTW, I was a gifted kid. Skipped second grade too! I was bored all through elementary, and middle school. There were no gifted programs at that time. I was not bored as much in high school. BUT, when I got to college, I was a year or two younger than other students in my year. It does become a problem socially at that point. I had a VERY hard time taking criticism from my professors. I wish I had waited a year or two before I entered college.

 

[unionville]

I absolutely agree with ABDMOM - skipping a grade doesn't necessarily mean the child will be challenged. We had to go through IQ testing and other NC Standardized testing before we qualified for the grade skip. Our public school provided all of this testing - I'm not sure what happens at private schools.

 

[happymommy]

I also agree - do NOT share the test results with her. It won't do her any good.

I have two children who are also gifted. My son also has a learning disability (severe ADHD) so we have many issues. They are at a fairly large private school right now, and we're always working out the kinks as far as keeping them interested but also my son on track with the attention.

Skipping a grade isn't always the answer. It may be a good choice in your case, but truly explore every option. Public school sounds like not an option where you live (sad to hear that also).

My kids just spent 3 weeks in an enrichment program that I had just found out about last fall. It's the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth. They have at home courses as well as summer camps (day camps) that your daughter could possibly enjoy. There are other enrichment opportunities out there if you look - I would think the school could possibly provide you with some ideas. I know the CTY has great courses you can do at home, as well as they can be done with your school. They are called "Distance Education". You can check out their website for more advice for gifted children: www.cty.jhu.edu

I know you and her dad have agreed upon the school she's at now, but maybe there are other schools in your area as well. She's still young, but it is good that you want to do something to help her both stay interested in her learning as well as use the intelligence she has rather than just be bored and get by.

If you want to chat more, feel free to PM me.

BTW, I could have skipped kindergarten for my DD (she was super bored academically, it was a joke) but for her socially it was better to do kindergarten. We went to Huntington Learning Center twice a week, where she did more advanced and challenging work. I liked them but be warned it's not cheap - oh the money we've spent!

 

[triplet_mom_2001]

My son is starting 1st grade this fall and is gifted and talented programming. We had the option of moving him a grade level ahead, and opted not to for a couple of reasons. He is a triplet and we don't want them in different grades for understandable reasons. Secondly, education is both the academic and the social. I would have serious concerns about social issues as your child progresses through middle and high school.

I would consider whether or not a small private school can meet the needs of your daughter, unless it is a prep school. My son has pull outs for gifted and talented programming, plus he does pull outs to a higher grade for reading and math.

Progressing a grade may seem like it fixes things, but it could create a whole set of new problems. I would try to work with the school to see how they can meet your child's needs while allowing her to be with age appropriate peers.

good luck,

Lisa

 

[pooh4evr]

My oldest is in 2nd grade and in the gifted program (which has been a disapointment to say the least) she is doing 4 th grade work but I would never yes never consider her skipping a grade that would just create a whole new set of problems, now our district also has a program for the i guess VERY gifted mensa genius type kids (test for in 3 or 4th grade) which is at its own location on the district, they do very accelerated work and when these kids go to middle and high school they are able to take the more advanced class while staying a part of their graduating class -- and I agree with the pp that I would not base everything off of a standardized test she needs IQ testing (can't remember the names of the other tests DD took!!) and other testing done by the school district, or an independent group/DR.

 

[noodleknitter]

Abdmom gives a good description of the test results.

 

[kpm76]

I am a former teacher at a small private school for gifted children.

Just to clarify what the results of your dd's testing mean. 8th grade level means that she tested on 1st grade material at the same level as the average 8th grader (or 5th grader, whichever the case may be). It does NOT mean that she is capable of doing 5th grade or 8th grade work. I know you weren't planning to accelerate her THAT much.

I would strongly recommend having her tested independently. Many child psychologists will do that. Often a gifted child is very strong in certain areas and extremely strong in others. And sometimes they are just average or weak in others. So, it seems to the child that the areas that they might just be strong or average in, are very difficult and frustrating for them. They don't understand the material as quickly as the areas in which they are extremely strong. Sometimes, they start to avoid the areas they are weaker in and they just get weaker. So, it's good to know what's relatively easy for your dd and what's relatively harder.

There are quite a few resources out there for parents of gifted children. They are easy to find with an internet search. There are also more and more schools that are solely aimed for the gifted student. Some are private but many are public. I was able to find some in NC. The advantages to this is that a child is with their age AND academic peers. For some very gifted children, even skipping a grade or two does not bring them to the point where they are academically engaged. If she was bored in 1st grade last year, she could very well be bored in 3rd grade this year.

I would not share her test results with her.

BTW, I was a gifted kid. Skipped second grade too! I was bored all through elementary, and middle school. There were no gifted programs at that time. I was not bored as much in high school. BUT, when I got to college, I was a year or two younger than other students in my year. It does become a problem socially at that point. I had a VERY hard time taking criticism from my professors. I wish I had waited a year or two before I entered college.

Excellent post! One of my concerns with skipping grades is the effect it has on the individual when it comes time for college. For example, if you live in California and your child gets into Harvard, are you really going to be comfortable sending your 15 or 16 yr old across the country? I don't have any advise for you....my DD is 14 months old...I think she's brilliant but who knows... . Good luck with your decision

 

[southjerseymom]

School administrators thought it would be a good idea to administer an intelligence test to my DS between preschool and kindergarten. My district has a gifted program but it doesn't start until 3rd grade. I met with everyone and came away from the meeting asking myself lots of questions. Why was I doing this? Was it for me or for the good of my son? What did I hope to accomplish? In the end all I wanted was for my son to be happy. In today's world childhood is so fleeting that I wanted him to hold on to it for as long as possible. I was not looking for a college "kid" (that 529 needs 12 years of school to grow!!!!). For me choosing not to test and accelerate was the right decision.
Is he bored sometimes....yes but he is with kids his age. The school district and teachers have been great trying to work higher level assignments into his curriculum. In the end like any decision a parent makes - I can just hope it was the right one.

 

[PA Princess]

I am a former teacher at a small private school for gifted children.

Just to clarify what the results of your dd's testing mean. 8th grade level means that she tested on 1st grade material at the same level as the average 8th grader (or 5th grader, whichever the case may be). It does NOT mean that she is capable of doing 5th grade or 8th grade work. I know you weren't planning to accelerate her THAT much.

I would strongly recommend having her tested independently. Many child psychologists will do that. Often a gifted child is very strong in certain areas and extremely strong in others. And sometimes they are just average or weak in others. So, it seems to the child that the areas that they might just be strong or average in, are very difficult and frustrating for them. They don't understand the material as quickly as the areas in which they are extremely strong. Sometimes, they start to avoid the areas they are weaker in and they just get weaker. So, it's good to know what's relatively easy for your dd and what's relatively harder.

There are quite a few resources out there for parents of gifted children. They are easy to find with an internet search. There are also more and more schools that are solely aimed for the gifted student. Some are private but many are public. I was able to find some in NC. The advantages to this is that a child is with their age AND academic peers. For some very gifted children, even skipping a grade or two does not bring them to the point where they are academically engaged. If she was bored in 1st grade last year, she could very well be bored in 3rd grade this year.

I would not share her test results with her.

BTW, I was a gifted kid. Skipped second grade too! I was bored all through elementary, and middle school. There were no gifted programs at that time. I was not bored as much in high school. BUT, when I got to college, I was a year or two younger than other students in my year. It does become a problem socially at that point. I had a VERY hard time taking criticism from my professors. I wish I had waited a year or two before I entered college.

An excellent post with great advice!

I am also a former teacher and currently a homeschooling mom. Before homeschooling my children attended a private school and the yearly testing was done using the Standford Achievement Tests (SAT). I still continue to have my children return to the school yearly for these tests. Is this the same battery of tests used to evaluate your daughter?

I have found my kids consistently test grade levels ahead on these tests, and only one of my 3 school age kids would qualify as gifted (and by 4th grade the SAT had him post high school in most areas). I would highly recommend additional outside testing.

I am not a huge advocate of grade skipping. As a high school teacher I encountered too many smart kids whoe struggled not with academics but with maturity issues. So many parents think the age issue only applies with young kids, but it is an issue that will come up again and again. Plus consider that with today's more common tactic of parents and schools holding children until they are older for K, your daughter could end up in classes with kids almost two years older than she is. When she is a freshman (assuming a
9th - 12th high school or in college) your daughter could be in classes with people 6 years older than she is.

Personally I would investigate other schools with programs to meet your daughter's abilities. So many school private school do not have gifted programs so they will often recommend a push ahead to the next grade. That may help the school (easier to teach kids all at the same level), but not always the best thing for the student. In a small school they should be able to be more flexible and find ways to provide additional outlets for your daughter while allowing her to continue in class with her peers.

I think your initial hesitation is valid and I would proceed with caution.

 

[StephMK]

There are some interesting responses. I don't have much advice but DS will be skipping 1st into 2nd starting Wednesday. I'm curious/nervous for him to see how it goes. He is excited and wants to skip but I'm worried he won't be accepted as well. It doesn't help that his K class was a looping class so the entire class/teacher will be in 1st grade together and be more noticeable that he's not with them. Size wise he's big enough and lots of confidence -but that also translates into some self control issues. We enrolled him in karate class to help w/discipline and maturity, he's beside himself excited over that too!

We love his elem. so I hate to switch him but changing schools into another program or placing him a 2nd grader into a different school in the district is our next option. Private may be an option but our public schools are really good so we'd like to avoid that.

He was given IQ & achievement tests by the school psychologist after we were approached by his school about moving him up. I guess we won't ever really know if we made the right decision and that's scares me the most. But based on talks w/the school, we're comfortable they will be looking out for him too. Good luck, it's definitely one of the hardest decisions we've made yet as parents.

 

[proteus]

I would not worry about the term "gifted", there are too many stereotypes that are completely out of whack with reality. The school I went to had many brilliant kids who were socially far more advanced then their less educated peers. They went on to great careers at prestigious companies and non-profit institutions. Contrary to popular wisdom they were extremely mature (in fact, some more so than their teachers) and sophisticated. A school where I live now is similar in some respects although it it more science/technology oriented, this is Thomas Jefferson in Northern Virginia. The kids there are also very mature and don't require any monitoring, part of the reason being that they are treated like adults.

In my opinion parents worry too much about social issues and in doing so actually delay the onset of maturity in kids. Two hundred and fifty years ago it was not unusual for a 12 year old to be admitted to college, 17-18 was considered "old" and some lied about their age. Now some adults still are kids well into their mid-twenties.

I would encourage and provide a rich environment for anyone who was gifted. As the saying goes a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

 

[minnie2]

My dd8 is going into 3rd grade and ever since K her teachers are telling me how smart she is and how when she hits 3rd grade she will be in the gifted and talented program and they mentioned how she is always doing work grades higher then she is. I have talked to each of them and thankfully she has had some amazing teachers who see she knows her stuff and just gives her work that will challenge her. Last yr her teacher had her doing a different reading book from the rest of the class which was I think a 4th or 5th grade book. Personally I would rather my child be with kids her age and friend she made and have a great teacher who challenges her then jump a grade because she could. JMO.

My dd8 likes being the best at things and gets very frustrated if she isn't the best so I would rather her be the best in her 3rd grade class and challenge her in other ways then have her average in a 4th grade class.