A Family Struggling

[DOREEN1779]

Wow, you guys are coming up with some great food suggestions. I'm printing them out and going shopping. We have Stop n Shop, Shoprite, A&P, Pathmark in our area and I never read the back of the Gift cards for exclusions. None of the stores carry alcohol. If I give money, I'm afraid she will not make it stretch and buy impulse items. I think Catholic Charities is going to help her out with the rent. Right now she gets $180.00 a month in food assistance. They get medical through the state care program. Her ex is $8000.00 in the rears for child support. Bad situation to be in and while I don't want to be seen as a money source, I cannot walk away and let her kid starve, that is why I want to keep my "food gift" a secret.

 

[bear74]

I'm pretty sure if she qualify's for food stamps she should qualify for WIC until child is 5.


i would recomend finding out if their are any food allergies for the mom or kiddo before buying any food. I second buy non esentials such as toliet paper, tooth paste shampoo etc. As she can't get those with food stamps.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Wow, you guys are coming up with some great food suggestions. I'm printing them out and going shopping. We have Stop n Shop, Shoprite, A&P, Pathmark in our area and I never read the back of the Gift cards for exclusions. None of the stores carry alcohol. If I give money, I'm afraid she will not make it stretch and buy impulse items. I think Catholic Charities is going to help her out with the rent. Right now she gets $180.00 a month in food assistance. They get medical through the state care program. Her ex is $8000.00 in the rears for child support. Bad situation to be in and while I don't want to be seen as a money source, I cannot walk away and let her kid starve, that is why I want to keep my "food gift" a secret.

Here is a great site to match up coupons with sales to stretch your money ever further.

www.livingrichwithcoupons.com you can do the printable ones. Just search under the store your going to and the weekly match up.

Are you in NJ?

 

[hambirg]

She should be able to get food stamps. Food stamps do not cover items such as : toilet paper, soap, laundry detergent, toothpaste, tylenol, feminine products, clothing, warm blankets etc. Maybe you could mix some of these items with a few food items. Bless you for wanting to help someone in need.

This!

toilet paper,
feminine hygiene products,
shampoo,
body wash,
laundry soap,
dish soap. and
clothing for the child.

ETA-toothpaste and possibly light bulbs and batteries.

 

[cbg1027]

Bread
Peanut Butter
Jelly
Apples, Oranges, other citrus, bananas, tomatoes, onions, potatoes, kiwis, pears, - any fruits or veggies that don't need refrigeration. That way you're giving her something nutrient rich.
Canned Tuna
Pasta
Pasta Sauce
Rice
Dry or Canned Beans


You know what would be really cute? If you included a few easy recipes she could make with what you give her!
Something easy and healthy would be roasted or grilled veggies and garbanzo beans over pasta. Just cooked the veggies with olive oil and salt, cook the pasta, reserve some of the cooking water, toss pasta with veggies, cooking water, garbanzos, olive oil, salt, and pepper.
Tasty, cheap, and and very healthy.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

My DD's teacher was (is?) in this situation. I buy her gift cards to the grocery store. I also buy her granddaughter (who lives with her) clothes when I can find them on clearance.

 

[nunzia]

I don't think that the storage unit is that odd, they could be living with friends or relatives and therefore have no where to put their belongings.

noo..they just had too much stuff to put in the house and no money to pay for the unit..I don't know of any agency that will pay storage unit rentals. We do, constantly, help with deposits, home rentals, utilities payments, medical issues and prescriptions and food.

Another thing you can put in the food bags are some items that may help her see past the next month..Money management skills, job training info, nutrition information, etc., anything that can help her be self suffiecient. In the long run learning confidence, motivation and independence will help her more, and her little girl more, than food bags.

 

[ctinct]

I work at a church and the things we asked to give to are sometimes wacky (from people off the street, not our members) and last week someone wanted help paying for their storage unit....oookkkkk. Anyway, our local store has food vouchers we give to people..they are stamped with "not good for tobacco, alcohol or gasoline', so if you have a hometown type store that might work. If you just want to make sure they have some staples, above suggestions are what I'd do also.

Our local paper just did a story on people living in storage units. Apparently the particular storage units they did the story on were climate controlled and locked every night at 11:00. They watched people going in about 10:30 each night and out again in the morning. The storage place claimed they did not know people were living in the units. I suppose it was way cheaper than an apt. and better than being homeless, but God forbid if there had ever been a fire in there. They would have been locked in, and the fire dept. would have had no reason to think there were people inside.

 

[DISdreamin']

I hate to be a downer, but if it were me I'd be very leary of eating anything that showed up on my doorstep from places unknown. Perhaps I am paranoid, or perhaps I just haven't (thankfully) been in a position where we couldn't put food on the table, but I don't know if I would eat anything that just showed up. If I knew where it came from, different story - but something just left?! Nope.

So if it were me I'd stick with either a gift card to the grocery store or things like PB&J, spag sauce, canned fruits and veggies, etc. that really can't be tampered with easily.

 

[ty&brenmom]

You are a wonderful person to want to help someone out. It sounds like she does have agencies that are helping her out, and that she is getting some food assistance. I know that our stores allow people to purchase anything, including alcohol with gift cards. Maybe the best way to insure that the child is getting their needs met would be to buy them some winter clothing and some treats that they would enjoy. That way you know that you helping and not allowing the mother to mismanage the money.

 

[arminnie]

A large bag of rice (like 10 pounds), an assortment of dried beans plus some recipes on how to make nutritious and delicious meals from them. You might include some spices, canned tomatoes, etc.

Lentils, navy beans, red beans, etc. can provide a lot of variety in taste. I love to use all of these, and I'm not even on a limited budget.

 

[funnygarcia]

Non food items would be ideal, those basic items are big budget busters if you are struggling to make rent. If she has SNAP and WIC then she might have enough food.

One item not mentioned... If you live in an apartment, you typically need quarters in order to do laundry (in my building it's $1.25 to wash/$1.25 to dry). Desperate times call for hand washing and air drying clothes.. but washing jeans in the bathtub is no fun.

I like the idea of giving resource info. Some counties and CAP agencies gather resources and print them in booklets for distribution.

Maybe a gift card at a local thrift store?
Does the child have shoes that fit and have no holes? Warm coat, hat, mittens? If he goes to Head Start, does he have a backpack?

And for something special, a book or two for the child. Paper and crayons, pencils.

 

[funnygarcia]

A large bag of rice (like 10 pounds), an assortment of dried beans plus some recipes on how to make nutritious and delicious meals from them. You might include some spices, canned tomatoes, etc.

Lentils, navy beans, red beans, etc. can provide a lot of variety in taste. I love to use all of these, and I'm not even on a limited budget.

I love beans and rice too.. but most people don't know how to cook them or feel like "oh great, more government food"

If she gets WIC, she likely has been given recipe cards and booklets on how to cook beans as it is one of the voucher foods. Even if it is one of the cheapest protein sources and loaded with fiber and vitamins there are people who feel eating beans is being "too poor" and will wrinkle their nose at it.. preferring the hunk of almost $4 per lb meat or the cheap package of ramen noodles.


So do you give someone food that is "for their own good", that likely will not be eaten. Or do you help by selecting some lean meats, produce, frozen vegetables? (Things you typically can't get at a food shelf)

Another idea popped in my head.. in MN we have a program called "Fare for All" that is sponsored by the Emergency Food Shelf Network Anyone can participate, for a set fee ($25?) you get a box of food containing meats, 3-4 produce items and a few shelf items like pasta or rice. They have gift certificates for the program as well. Perhaps see if a similar program exists in your area and set her up with the distribution dates. Healthy food, low cost and they provide info on some resources too.

 

[jcano]

Depending on where she lives, just leaving it on her doorstep may not be the best plan. She might never get it.

Hope you find the best way to help!

 

[fakereadhed]

I would ask her if she had a little extra money what would she do with it. She may need that $100 to keep the electricity on or help pay her mortgage or gas to get to work. Then you could make a payment for her or leave her a gas card, or buy groceries if that's what she needs. You don't have to be anonymous. Sometimes it can help to know those around you have noticed your struggle and care.

 

[pampam]

I hope I'm not reading this wrong, but I sense that she cannot manage money. Will she cook from scratch, or does she use prepared food? I'm thinking "give a man a fish he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime." Perhaps it's not just money she needs, but lifeskills to manage better. If I'm off base, I do appogize. I'm trying to help, not offend.

 

[nunzia]

I hope I'm not reading this wrong, but I sense that she cannot manage money. Will she cook from scratch, or does she use prepared food? I'm thinking "give a man a fish he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime." Perhaps it's not just money she needs, but lifeskills to manage better. If I'm off base, I do appogize. I'm trying to help, not offend.

 

[Colleen27]

What we did for a neighbor who was having problems was put together a care package for her and her boys. I gave her my "spare" crockpot (hand-me-downs from relatives ended me up with 3 full-size and 1 side-dish-sized crockpots on top of the one I registered for when DH & I married) along with ingredients and recipes for some lower-cost, at least somewhat healthy meals to make in it. But because I knew from her boys that they get food assistance most of what I bought was non-food - toilet paper, dish soap, shampoo, soap, an Axe gift set for the tween boys (who are both friends with DS, so I knew it was something they wanted but their mom told them was an unnecessary expense), and a big bag of food for their little dog so that she wouldn't end up in the county shelter like so many other pets of families that have fallen on hard times. Those non-food things are killer when you're barely getting by - there are multiple avenues for getting food assistance, food stamps, free lunch, community food pantries, but there aren't many ways to get toiletries and other essentials free/cheap.

 

[JennyKS]

Being a single mother myself and have been thru those difficult times, I say buy a couple things more for the child that we'd like to give the kid, but know we can't.

Fruit snacks
Peanut butter
Jelly
Mac & Cheese
Canned pastas
Granola bars
Pasta
Spaghetti Sauce
Fruit Cups
Juice
Pancake mix
syrup
loaf of bread
pretzels
tuna
tuna helper
canned soup

You can get so much for 100 and I think its awesome you are thinking of them.

 

[DOREEN1779]

I hope I'm not reading this wrong, but I sense that she cannot manage money. Will she cook from scratch, or does she use prepared food? I'm thinking "give a man a fish he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime." Perhaps it's not just money she needs, but lifeskills to manage better. If I'm off base, I do appogize. I'm trying to help, not offend.

No offense taken. She is an impulsive person. That's why I'm putting the package together. I don't think she has the budgeting or will power at this time to make better choices.