A Dr. Laura Caller, Upset with fiance over his dog. WWYD?

[chloelovesdisney]

Time to call off the wedding, I know several single women who love dogs and are looking for a good man.

 

[bumbershoot]

I can't stand Dr. Laura so I guess I'd go the opposite of whatever she says to do and you'll be fine.




In all seriousness, this issue should have come up before they started dating or at least the first bits of dating. The dog stays. Get rid of the girlfriend. All it will do is grow resentment from the dog owner over time.

This issue should indeed have come up. And if they were Dr Laura listeners, they would have already had these important conversations, *right from the start*!

DH and my first few dates were very long, hours and hours, consisting of very important conversations so that we didn't waste any time on someone that we weren't compatible with. We both were Dr Laura listeners...I was also a Tom Leykus listener...and amazingly, the two very different people say exactly the same basic thing....find someone who wants what you want. Don't waste time with people who don't want what you want!

And allergies are very important.

These are the kinds of things that people "pretend" aren't big deals when they are all gung-ho about dating someone but then realize after it's too late that they now have a problem with it.

I agree.



Allergy shots didn't work for me AT ALL.

Allergy medicines turn me into a zombie, even the supposed non drowsy ones.

If Robert had had an animal I probably wouldn't have started a relationship with him. I probably would have given that animal a chance, to see if I was allergic to it in particular (I'm not allergic to all animals), but if I were, it's just not worth the problems.

 

[SundaeAfternoon]

Get rid of the girl, not the dog!

 

[JessicaR]

Get rid of the girl, not the dog!

Yes!

But seriously, Dr Laura said the girl deserves better? Why? What did the guy do wrong? I think the dog just saved this guy from a lifetime of misery married to a witch. Sorry the dog was there first and for 10 years at that! If its now a problem why? Didnt they have a dating period? What did she do during that time?

Never read or saw Dr Laura and it seems I'm not missing out on anything.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

DH hates my dog. Loathes him. He isn't allergic to him, but he pretty much despises the dog.

He keeps asking me to get rid of him and I just remind him he knew the dog came with me when he started dating me. I keep the dog and if he has a problem, it's his problem. Not mine.

I'd say the same thing to this girl- if you knew about the dog, you knew he came with a dog. You chose to keep dating him, with a dog, so now you have to figure out how to adjust yourself to the dog. You don't ask someone to change their lives because you ignored such a big part of who they were.

ITA, but what I really wanted to say is that the pic of your baby is SO CUTE!!! My little boy is named Lucas, too, but he is going to be 10 tomorrow-an adult in Disney's eyes!

ETA: OMG, I just read it-you are pregnant again! Congratulations!

 

[Mermaid02]

Get rid of the WITCH and keep the dog......... I so wanted to use the female word for dog there....

 

[minkydog]

In all seriousness, this issue should have come up before they started dating or at least the first bits of dating. The dog stays. Get rid of the girlfriend. All it will do is grow resentment from the dog owner over time.

I agree. The dog was there first and the fiance is very attached to it. As I see it the GF has three options: Take allergy meds, wait until the dog dies, or end the relationship and move on.

There is no way this guy is going to get rid of his old friend. I wouldn't! My Minky is almost 10yo and I wouldn't consider "getting rid" of him for someone else. Love me, love my lovely dog. Don't like the dog? See ya

 

[Imzadi]

Well, she obviously knew he had the dog before she got engaged. Not like she "just got allergies" and he "just got the dog." So, Now asking him to dumpt the dog, seems .....nasty to me. It screams, CONTROLLER to me....

Along those same lines, she probably shouldn't have started a relationship with someone who has a dog if she is so allergic. It's possible this is some sort of a power struggle and/or she wants to see if she is his first priority.

There's something about this story we are missing. How is it her allergies aren't set off by just being with her fiance? No matter how much he bathed and put on fresh clothes, there are always dog hair & dander flying around. It doesn't take a CSI tech to know I have a cat. The stray cat hairs, no matter how much I use a lint brush, are telltale giveaways.

I think the woman down played the allergy all this time or is now, playing it up. She just want's the man to prove he loves her more than the dog. She will probably dump him in a few months and he is out of a dog. For the last 10 years, he's known that relationship has worked.

 

[sunnyday123]

I dated a guy who didn't like my last dog; she was old and he told me repeatedly I should "do something with her." I broke up with him.


I don't date anyone who doesn't like animals. I will never be without at least a dog, and more than likely a few cats. Don't like it, move along.

And wasn't she allergic before they were engaged? Reeks a little of control to me.

 

[chisnpeke]

The dog would stay.

 

[Imzadi]

I dated a guy who didn't like my last dog; she was old and he told me repeatedly I should "do something with her." I broke up with him.


I don't date anyone who doesn't like animals.

It actually goes beyond not liking animals in your case. It sounds like he had a high disregard for life and of your feelings. That was a big red flag, I'm glad you listened to yourself.

 

[FayeW]

Not necessarily...maybe he believed the dog was suffering and that putting her down was the most humane thing to do. Who knows?

 

[Imzadi]

Not necessarily...maybe he believed the dog was suffering and that putting her down was the most humane thing to do. Who knows?

Sunnyday123 knows. To me, it sounds like she got a vibe about her ex. Look at her siggie. She's got 4 pets now. If this is the same DISer I'm thinking of, she's had cat troubles in the past year where one or two cats ended up at the vet (at a great financial burden.) This is not a poster who lets her animals suffer.

 

[can84]

Time to call off the wedding, I know several single women who love dogs and are looking for a good man.

You can add me to that list!

I'm allergic to cats--my ex-bf had two. I took a lot of benadryl while we were dating.

 

[DawnCt1]

What an agreeable group we all are tonight! How often does THAT happen. Yup, the chick has got to go. The sooner the better!

 

[nephthys43]

i agree... dump the girl, keep the dog. i have a tshirt that says "love me, love my dog".

my last boyfriend was annoyed that i wouldn't spend more time at his place. i had to get home to my daughter. she has never spent the night alone in my house and she never will. he told me i could bring her over, but that she had to sleep in another room (i don't think so). he also hated that i would take her with me to outdoor parties and the park. he couldn't stand not being the center of my attention.

 

[momx2]

I will have to disagree with the majority. I can tell that you guys have never had allergies so bad that you stayed sick the majority of the time. When I met my DH he had 3 cats. I did have some issues with allergies, but not all the time and not severe. I had no idea I was allergic to cats or dogs. Well, I feel in love with his cats as well as him.

We were married and on our first anniversary his favorite cat, Tiger, died. Throughout that year my allergies grew worse and worse and I was sick constantly. I also started developing red welps on my body and itching alot. I also developed mild asthma for the first time in my life. I went on a daily allergy medication that helped tremendously.

About another year past and I became pregnant. At this point my allergies and asthma got much worse. I was wheezing constantly. I was put on bed rest for other reasons and so I was home with the 2 cats constantly. I still loved them, but at this point I was so sick of being sick and I knew why. I wanted them gone as much as I loved them. One time I remember my DH saying "they were here first" refering to his cats. At this point, in my mind, my DH was choosing his pets over me, his wife and mother of his child. I must say I'm still not happy with that comment.

After my child was born I tried shots, 2 separate times, and that didn't work. I would react with the smallest doeses and break out in hives. I also found out I am that allergic to dogs too. I am actually more allergic to dust. I can not clean or I am sick for a day.

While you all can say what you will about this woman, actually allergies can be deadly because they suppress your immune system. Until you experiece this you will not understand and after reading some responses, you wouldn't care anyway.

 

[DawnCt1]

i agree... dump the girl, keep the dog. i have a tshirt that says "love me, love my dog".

my last boyfriend was annoyed that i wouldn't spend more time at his place. i had to get home to my daughter. she has never spent the night alone in my house and she never will. he told me i could bring her over, but that she had to sleep in another room (i don't think so). he also hated that i would take her with me to outdoor parties and the park. he couldn't stand not being the center of my attention.

I am glad you dumped the boyfriend. Guys that are jealous and feel threatened by dogs and kids aren't worth having around.

 

[momx2]

Let me ask this...what would you guys do if your child was born with severe allergies to the house pet. Would you tell the child to suck it up??

 

[DawnCt1]

I will have to disagree with the majority. I can tell that you guys have never had allergies so bad that you stayed sick the majority of the time. When I met my DH he had 3 cats. I did have some issues with allergies, but not all the time and not severe. I had no idea I was allergic to cats or dogs. Well, I feel in love with his cats as well as him.

We were married and on our first anniversary his favorite cat, Tiger, died. Throughout that year my allergies grew worse and worse and I was sick constantly. I also started developing red welps on my body and itching alot. I also developed mild asthma for the first time in my life. I went on a daily allergy medication that helped tremendously.

About another year past and I became pregnant. At this point my allergies and asthma got much worse. I was wheezing constantly. I was put on bed rest for other reasons and so I was home with the 2 cats constantly. I still loved them, but at this point I was so sick of being sick and I knew why. I wanted them gone as much as I loved them. One time I remember my DH saying "they were here first" refering to his cats. At this point, in my mind, my DH was choosing his pets over me, his wife and mother of his child. I must say I'm still not happy with that comment.

After my child was born I tried shots, 2 separate times, and that didn't work. I would react with the smallest doeses and break out in hives. I also found out I am that allergic to dogs too. I am actually more allergic to dust. I can not clean or I am sick for a day.

While you all can say what you will about this woman, actually allergies can be deadly because they suppress your immune system. Until you experiece this you will not understand and after reading some responses, you wouldn't care anyway.

From the sounds of the phone call (the woman was 35), she has always had a known allergy to dogs so its not that it developed or she discovered the cause of her allergies. I think most people realize that allergies can be deadly serious, and I am sure that all of us, (in support of the guy and dog) would agree that if they had a child with dog allergies, then a home would have to be found for the dog, but this is all prior to marriage, a woman who knew her allergy history and who knew that her fiance has a 10 year old dog. It seems that she should have figured this all out and what she could tolerate before the relationship progressed to this point. As someone else pointed out, pets aren't disposable. I had a friend who had her cat put to sleep because "she was too busy for a cat". That type of disregard for life is appalling to me. She isn't my friend any more.