A dating question :)

[Darsa]

My mom was 9 1/2 years younger than my dad; I actually dated a guy who was 9 years older than me and he turned out be an... unfortunate experience. My DH is 2 years younger than me...

Having said all that, I'd say, if I were in the market, I'd look 10 years in either direction.

 

[Tinkerbellie16]

15-20 years.

Older woman with younger man is just absurd.

MilkaWHAT???

Okay...now that the silliness is over....

I'm married so no dating anyone except my hubby (he's 5 months younger than me so I guess that makes me an older woman with a younger man ). In general, I have no problem with an age difference as long as it is legal. And if it is only dating anyway, who cares??? Have fun!

 

[Nom]

My Dh is 6 years younger then me and at first I was not happy about it. However, the age difference very rarely comes up in our relationship and when it does, it is in a humorous way.

that's my situation with my bf- but only for the next month- then it goes back to our regular 7 year difference! I never thought I would date a guy 7 years younger, and it seemed a bit odd at first but he has proven himself to be much more mature than guys I had dated that were 10 yrs older than me (I am 33).

So I think it depends on the person- sometimes you can end up with an unexpected age difference that you never thought you'd date, and it can be wonderful!

 

[MushyMushy]

I don't really have much of a limit (though I'd say he'd have to be at least 25) for *************. Anything more serious and I would want to stay within 5-7 years older OR younger.

15-20 years.

Older woman with younger man is just absurd.

Puhleeze. Absurd to whom? As long as they're happy, who cares.

Uhoh, you're asking for it!
That sure wasn't the case at my 20th reunion. A lot of the men were fat and bald but the women looked terrific.

That's so true. I was just at my 25th and I'd say the women by far aged better than the men did. I'm not saying a lot of the men didn't look good, but they were balding, graying and just generally looking more worn. For the most part, the women in my class have taken great care of themselves and looked terrific!

 

[kristilew]

It's never come up for me, since DH and I have been together since we were teens, but my brother didn't get married until almost 40 and his rule was always "half his age plus 7" was as young as he would go.

He married a woman who just squeaked by on that rule - and half the time she has no clue what we are talking about when we start in on shared cultural references. Just gives us all a blank look because she's too young. So if I were dating, I think I'd say you'd have to be born in the same decade.

 

[Sorsha]

My DH is 5 years older than me. Thankfully I have no plans to ever be in the "dating scene" ever again, but if I were, I think I would have no problem with a man 10-15 years older or younger (but he would have to be seriously buff and an obvious trophy boyfriend ) than myself.

This makes me giggle, because it is relevant. We are working on planning our 20th high school reunion. Our policy is, anyone who wants to join the planning committee may show up to the planning meetings. Some of them, we hold at restaurants (read: an excuse to get out of the house without the kids) and for those meetings you are encouraged to bring your spouse/date with you. A couple of weeks ago, we were meeting at a local Mexican restaurant to sit on the deck and have nachos and drinks and do some planning (ha ha). A lady that I had been good friends with in high school, but hadn't seen much since then, decided to come to the meeting. I had been in touch with her in sort of a round-about way on Facebook, and I knew that she had had a rough couple of years. Her husband had an affair, then left her for the new girlfriend du jour, and moved out of state. She is now raising their two pre-teen and early-teen children alone. Then, she lost her job. Had a rough go of it for a while, worked hard, pulled things back together, got a new job, is doing well again. Had made a few posts on Facebook about a new boyfriend. "Good for her" we all thought, she deserves it.

Then, they pulled up. The new boyfriend popped out of the car and everything about him screams out "she's having a midlife crisis". He is about 25 years old, leather-everything, hulking, muscle-y, long-ish hair... if we lived in the 50's, he'd have had a pack of ciggies rolled up in his t-shirt sleeve. She's hanging off his arm, making doe-eyes up at him, batting her eyes - making an absolute fool of herself. Pretty soon they are sitting on the deck, she's ON HIS LAP for pete's sake and they are drinking margaritas out of a pitcher, and she's telling us how she just "Wuvvvs him sooo much!" ok, errrr... right.

Now, I am sure there are many, many relationships where a couple is separated by a large age difference and they are happy as can be and everything is just lovely - but my friend suddenly has COUGAR stamped across her forehead.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Let me first say I am head over heels with a man who is 16 days younger than me...He jokingly refers to me as his cougar...

That said, I personally could not have gone more than 1-2 years younger, but would have dated someone up to 15 years older. I did date a 30-year-old when I was 19. I truly have never had anything in common with men my own age...well, until now

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dh is 2yrs younger than me.

 

[Robinrs]

I've only dated 2 men OLDER than myself, my current is 9 years younger. I've ALWAYS looked younger than my age and that's always been the case for me. At my age, even a guy 9 years younger than me is still OLD!!

 

[DisneyFairytale]

How much younger of a person would you date? A couple years? 5? 10? 15?
Do you think it makes a difference if it's an older man/younger woman vs older woman/younger man?

Just curious, having a debate with a few friends and thought I'd see what other people thought.

Ultimately if the couples gets along and can make up for the age difference, the age should not matter. I myself would not settle with anyone anymore than 2-4 years difference just because I find you are just to different in your life situation and long term goals.

 

[pixiewings71]

15-20 years.

Older woman with younger man is just absurd.

\

So it's OK for a man to date a woman 15-20 years younger but an older woman should not be with a younger man....you appear to be a man.....lol

Men age more gracefully than women. Wasn't Sean Connery named the sexiest man when he was in his 60s.

Really? You have clearly not seen a photo of me, you would never guess I'm the age that I am.

My Dh is 6 years younger then me and at first I was not happy about it. However, the age difference very rarely comes up in our relationship and when it does, it is in a humorous way.

I could never date a guy young enough to be my son. That just skeeves me out. All these women fighting over which is cuter, Edward or Jacob, I just don't understand it. All I see is someone I could have given birth to.

Well for me, it's not about Edward and Jacob the actors, it's about vampires and werewolves and werewolves always win in my book. LOL DBF said to me the other day "so pale and skinny always loses over tan and buff?" I said "no silly, it's vamps and weres, you have nothing to worry about my pale skinny lover" LOL

OP I am 5 years older than my DBF, we are quite happy together and the age "thing" never comes up. I almost didn't date him because of the age difference but I'm glad I did. My BFF married a man 9 years younger then her, she almost didn't date him either but boy is she glad she did. I would say that 10 years younger and 5 years older would be my limits, but you never really know. If you're asking for yourself then take the chance, you'll never know until you try. If you're asking for a friend, same advice, take the chance, you never know....

 

[JohnsPrincess]

I've never dated someone younger than myself, I don't believe. My Dh is 5 years older than I am and that was always about the age difference between guys I dated and myself. I don't know how much older of a person I'd date...I think I dated a couple guys who may have been closer to 10 years older and that was fine. My step dad is 20 years older than my mom.

 

[FireDancer]

Really? You have clearly not seen a photo of me, you would never guess I'm the age that I am.

Well, put your money where you mouth is. Post a recent picture and let us guess

I pretty much always date younger. All their parts are still in the proper place, which is a plus.

I think a big reason it is more common for older men to date younger women is the child-bearing issue. A 60 year old man can still father a child with a 30 year old woman while the reverse isn't the case. Men are generally also more visual in their attraction and lets face it, younger looks better most of the time. There are of course exceptions but it is what it is.

 

[ilovejack02]

Married 37 yr old girl here, but if I were single, I would prob be good with 10 years older or younger.

I don't think I could date anyone younger than about 27 , not sure why that is the magic age but it is lol.

My best girlfriend is 41 and doesn't look near her age, most guess she is early 30's . Most of the men that hit on her are early to mid 20's and then 50 + . We can't figure what is happening with that 30 yr old group lol. The young guys adore her , she has been seeing a 24 yr old for about 10 months now. Sweet kid, but lacking social graces. My hubby and I just spent a weekend with them in NOLA and it was hysterical to watch my hubby shake his head all weekend at him. I guess she isn't really interested in his social graces though, so it is working out well for both.

 

[ilovejack02]

Well, put your money where you mouth is. Post a recent picture and let us guess

I pretty much always date younger. All their parts are still in the proper place, which is a plus.

I think a big reason it is more common for older men to date younger women is the child-bearing issue. A 60 year old man can still father a child with a 30 year old woman while the reverse isn't the case. Men are generally also more visual in their attraction and lets face it, younger looks better most of the time. There are of course exceptions but it is what it is.

LOL I think F.D. just lost points with some of his fan club.

 

[*JoGo*]

I have always dated older. In school, the boys in my class were nothing to look at, lol. All my boyfriends were older. Also, I wasn't about to date someone w/o a car! Priorities!

If I was dating right now, I'd still go older. I have a "thing" for older guys. Probably daddy issues. After 2 kids, everything isn't exactly in the proper place, as FireDancer put it, but I'm still young! Which is another reason I definately would NOT go younger.

 

[MushyMushy]

LOL I think F.D. just lost points with some of his fan club.

Totally!

 

[tasha99]

It's a personal decision for everyone, but for me I would date up to 5 years younger (and be uncomfortable about it, frankly) to 15 years older. I have dated older than that (I was 19, he was 38) but I'm older now, and I pretty much like guys still in their 50's. Between 5-8 years older is my ideal.

 

[queenb123]

well I'm a young 35 and never dated a younger guy untill my ex-husband (5yrs younger) and I would keep that distance 5 years either way.

 

[FireDancer]

LOL I think F.D. just lost points with some of his fan club.

I probably should have thought about that ahead of time.