A couple of disturbing dreams

[minkydog]

My DH has lately had a couple very unusual dreams. Let me preface this by saying, DH has severe lung disease and is permanently disabled. He is doing okay, stable, but extremely fatigued all the time. They say it's just the nature of his illness(stage 4 sarcoidosis.) We know that eventually this disease will kill him, but he is doing pretty well right now so no worries there.

So a few nights ago he dreamed that he had moved into his family's beach house. Everyone was there, uncles, dad, grandpa,grandma. They were having a big party, but when he tried to leave they held on to him and begged him to stay. They pleaded with him that they needed him and he HAD to stay. DH tried to explain to them that his kids were waiting at home, but they kept holding his arms. He finlly shook them off and went out the door. Only after he awoke did he realise that ALL the inhabitants of his dream were long dead relatives.

Last night he again met with a beloved uncle. They went fishing and sat out back behind the beach house talking. Then DH went to sleep(in the dream) and when he "woke up" he realized that he was dead. He tried to get someone's attention, but they coudln't see or hear him.

I'm not thinking these dreams are premonitions, but I can't figure out what they mean. Obviously, my first thought is "I wonder if he needs some oxygen!" My second thought is it sounds like there is an anxiety component, especially in the second dream. He says the first dream didn't feel anxious at all.

What do you think?

 

[rie'smom]

Maybe your husband has an unspoken or unacknowledged fear of dying and he's working through it in his dreams.

 

[JerseyJanice]

I think your dreams are being caused by the anxieties you feel about your husband's illness. You're anxious about losing him and you're anxious about his ability to breathe. In your waking hours, you're aware that he's doing well, but in the back of your mind, you're always worried about him and his future, and that's what played out in your dreams.

 

[DVCLiz]

I think your dreams are being caused by the anxieties you feel about your husband's illness. You're anxious about losing him and you're anxious about his ability to breathe. In your waking hours, you're aware that he's doing well, but in the back of your mind, you're always worried about him and his future, and that's what played out in your dreams.

She's not the one having the dreams - her DH is.

OP, I think it's just normal anxiety being worked out by the subconscious mind.

 

[C.Ann]

I would guess anxiety - that only comes out while he's sleeping - but I wouldn't rule out oxygen deprivation either.. Just before my late DH had to go on oxygen 24/7 he was sleeping all the time, mumbling odd things in his sleep (he never talked in his sleep before), and was experiencing something similar to hallucinations when he was awake (thinking my DD was actually me; telling us to take money out of his wallet to go to WDW; etc.).. It might be worth mentioning to his doctors..

Good luck..

 

[LuvOrlando]

A few years ago I was having a hard time dealing with some traumatic things. In the midst of all this I kept on dreaming of people I loved who were dead. I didn't think of it as premonitions at all. Instead it made me feel better to know that the people I loved in heaven were still helping me through even if it was from a distance and even if they could only visit me when I was asleep. I felt they were trying to support me and that the dreams were a blessing. In one I just sat with a dead friend and told him my troubles, we cried together and he left me with a hug. In another my grandfather came to me and told me he'd protect me. Other dreams were more random but it was a definite pattern. The dreams stopped when I started to pull myself together.

What does your husband feel about the dreams? If he is comforted by them then maybe that's all there is to it. Still, with the breathing trouble and all maybe a sleep study might be a good idea so the Dr's can see if he's having real trouble at night. I had one once and they're not too bad. You get hooked up to all sorts of monitors, set a video camera in front of the bed over night and give it back the next day. Sometimes you sleep in a special room but either way they get all the info they need from one of those tests.

 

[minkydog]

What does your husband feel about the dreams? If he is comforted by them then maybe that's all there is to it. Still, with the breathing trouble and all maybe a sleep study might be a good idea so the Dr's can see if he's having real trouble at night.

He is NOT comforted by these dreams! in the dreams his dead relatives are pulling on his arms, begging him to go with them, pleading with him not to return to his family. It's all he can do to get away. I don't think they are premonitions, but they certainly have upset him.

DH has had a couple of sleep studies, the most recent back in august. He has moderate-severe sleep apnea. He tried using CPAP and BiPap, but the constant pressure on his lungs caused so much pain he couldn't stand it. His O2 goes down around 85 and then comes back up again. Thats why he has oxygen at night. And the 2liter flow does kinda keep his airway open. He doesn't snore and gasp so much.

 

[JerseyJanice]

She's not the one having the dreams - her DH is.

OP, I think it's just normal anxiety being worked out by the subconscious mind.

That's what happens when I try to read and post quickly at work.

Sorry, Minky!